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Old 10-08-2012, 05:24 PM   #451
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdwmom0f3 View Post
Well, she has either decided to stay and does not want to hear what we have to say about that or its a hoax. Either way its very sad.
I was starting to think the same thing. Her username does kind of spell trick...TRK...

Glad the OP gave an update. I wish her the best.
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Old 10-08-2012, 05:32 PM   #452
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Just so the OP knows she is not the only one who is or has gone through this I thought I would put this info that I found at another forum here for her to read:

"I found out when I was 7 months pregnant that my husband had been having an affair with some 'girl' at work for 3 months We have a 4 year old too and I am feeling so desperate and low even though it's been 6 months since I found out. I cannot talk to family & friends about it. I am devastated and can't bear to rip my family appart but don't believe my husband loves me anymore (even though he says he does) he was telling this girl he loved her too. I can't get the image of them out of my head. I felt insecure anyway because I was pregnant but I don't have a shred of self esteem now and hate myself. It is affecting my relationship with my children. I avoid going out or seeing anyone. I feel like everyone is laughing at me. Every time I pass someone I wonder if it's her.

I'm not sure how I will ever feel normal again and am just looking for someone who may have been through something similar to offer some advice as I feel as though I am cracking up."

I guess it happens more often than people like to believe.
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Old 10-08-2012, 05:39 PM   #453
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Originally Posted by Disney Doll View Post
Good decisions.
Please try and do something with the cats besides leaving them with him.
Don't tell him when you're going...just go one day.
I know you have more than enough on your plate right now, but if possible I would try to put some feelers out for someone to take the cats. You could start with the vets office. Mine allows flyers to be put up with adoptable pets. Maybe a friend could take them for you until a new home can be found.

ITA with not letting Husband know when you are leaving. It's best to avoid a confrontation or emotional scene. Pretend to go to work that day like nothing is going on and end up at the train station or airport. Keep your packed bags at a friend's house or in the trunk of your car. I would start sending things ahead by UPS.

I'll be saying a prayer for you and your precious baby. Hope once you tell your ob that you are leaving one way or another he will give you the go ahead.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:47 PM   #454
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OP, thanks for the update, and I am so happy for you that you are being so strong!

Before you leave, if there are items you want, but can't take with you for the time being, either leave them with a close friend you trust, or rent a small storage space. This way you can get them or have them shipped to you at a later time.

I would also try to bring the cats with you. If you can fly, I am pretty sure they can fly with you in an appropriate cat carrier. The best of luck for you and your baby! You are doing the right thing!
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:57 PM   #455
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Thanks for the update!
Be safe and thank God you're moving back to Canada!!!! You will realize how helpful your parent's support and help is after the baby is born.
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Old 10-08-2012, 07:32 PM   #456
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I would also try to bring the cats with you. If you can fly, I am pretty sure they can fly with you in an appropriate cat carrier. The best of luck for you and your baby! You are doing the right thing!
They might not be able to fly internationally. Just to fly my cat across country, not internationally, I had to have my vet sign a form saying she had all the right shots, and dated within the month I was traveling. Some animals also need to be quarantined for a length of time after arriving in the other country.

Canada may be more lenient with animals coming from the U.S. But, it's one more thing to have to research in addition to everything else going on. She might be able to get away with driving them across the border, but again, it's something that needs to be researched.

Frankly, if there are more problems flying them across the border, once I got settled, I'd have them shipped to the closest city at the U.S. border near the my Canadian home, then go pick up the cats drive them across.
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Old 10-08-2012, 07:37 PM   #457
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Thanks for checking in ....Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Best of luck in Canada.
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Old 10-08-2012, 07:39 PM   #458
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I am so glad to hear you are OK. I think you made the right choice. Please please tread very carefully. The most dangerous time in a woman's life is when she decided to leave. If you can do it without telling him please do. It could get ugly if he tries to stop you. Take care of yourself and your baby and good luck.
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:10 PM   #459
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There should be no issus flying with the cats..as long as they have had their shots and a clean bill of health. Hopefully, someone would come such as her Mother or Father and help her out..

Poor thing, my heart aches for her..
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:10 PM   #460
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Originally Posted by Imzadi View Post
They might not be able to fly internationally. Just to fly my cat across country, not internationally, I had to have my vet sign a form saying she had all the right shots, and dated within the month I was traveling. Some animals also need to be quarantined for a length of time after arriving in the other country.

Canada may be more lenient with animals coming from the U.S. But, it's one more thing to have to research in addition to everything else going on. She might be able to get away with driving them across the border, but again, it's something that needs to be researched.

Frankly, if there are more problems flying them across the border, once I got settled, I'd have them shipped to the closest city at the U.S. border near the my Canadian home, then go pick up the cats drive them across.
We drove two cats from Canada into the US (and then back again) for a year's secondment in the US and had no problems at the border and had no forms to show.

Definitely something to check on (maybe we were just lucky?), but I don't foresee a problem, at by land.
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:21 PM   #461
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OP I am so glad to hear that you are getting things in line. You sound like a really strong woman though I know that you are really hurt. I am glad that you are coming to Canada and your family. As others have said though be careful when you are leaving and don't tell your dh. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:59 PM   #462
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Thanks so much for the reply--good luck on your journey in the coming weeks!!!
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Old 10-08-2012, 09:22 PM   #463
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Quote:
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The OP has posted an update, post 425. Please read it.
I missed it! Thank you for letting me know. I was in such a hurry earlier that I just checked that one page. Thank God she came back with an update. It sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and is making the right decision for her and her baby. I was so worried that he would try to talk her into staying and she would fall for it. Good for you and your baby OP!! I am very proud of you!
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Old 10-09-2012, 07:02 AM   #464
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lizabu View Post
I am so glad to hear you are OK. I think you made the right choice. Please please tread very carefully. The most dangerous time in a woman's life is when she decided to leave. If you can do it without telling him please do. It could get ugly if he tries to stop you. Take care of yourself and your baby and good luck.
This is very true. I had a friend who passed away at the hands of her husband when she tried to leave. Please be safe and do not tell him. Leave when he's not around. Send things to canada ahead of time via UPS etc if you have to.

Youre doing the right thing. We're all very proud of you. Please keep us posted!!
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Old 10-09-2012, 07:22 AM   #465
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Sounds good to me OP. I am glad you are following through with your plans to go to family and keep yourself and your baby safe. You are doing the right thing.

Many hugs to you.

PS....I do echo the others with being careful when you leave. It is the most dangerous time in a women's life as crazy as that sounds. BE SAFE!!!!!
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