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Old 09-27-2012, 03:40 PM   #91
Colleen27
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Originally Posted by jp24 View Post
I'm shocked that you don't see the connection.

It's our "keep your head down and mouth shut" collective attitude that has this country going in a really bad direction. Is this girl's nickle bag of pot the cause of all our problems? Of course not, but our reaction to it is a symptom of a bigger problem.
I agree, but not in the way you think. The approach to pot in our legal system is a clear illustration of the root problem in our society - legislation via emotion rather than rationality, fear-mongering and misinformation to drum up public support, and when that support fails total disregard for the will of the people. What we have right now is 50 years of escalation against a very minor societal problem, the result of which is the largest prison population (per capita) in the developed world and a permanent economic underclass serving a sentence that far exceeds any time they might serve as well being entirely disproportionate to the seriousness of their offense. But in our culture, the cries of "Think of the children!" outweigh all logic or reason so we just keep piling on stiffer and stiffer penalties for a crime that even our last three presidents have committed.
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:46 PM   #92
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I agree, but not in the way you think. The approach to pot in our legal system is a clear illustration of the root problem in our society - legislation via emotion rather than rationality, fear-mongering and misinformation to drum up public support, and when that support fails total disregard for the will of the people. What we have right now is 50 years of escalation against a very minor societal problem, the result of which is the largest prison population (per capita) in the developed world and a permanent economic underclass serving a sentence that far exceeds any time they might serve as well being entirely disproportionate to the seriousness of their offense. But in our culture, the cries of "Think of the children!" outweigh all logic or reason so we just keep piling on stiffer and stiffer penalties for a crime that even our last three presidents have committed.
I am on record as saying that there is absolutely no reason that marijuana isn't legal. If the government were to legalize, regulate and tax the hell out of it, it solves a ton of problems in this country. There is absolutely no evidence that marijuana is addictive, causes cancer and bad for you in any way (unlike tobacco). Actually, it helps with pain and could replace Vicodin, percocet, etc. However, as long as special interest groups, big tobacco and Fizer are allowed to buy legislation on Capitol Hill, nothing is going to change. Do I smoke it? Nope. Do I want my kids smoking it? Not now and not until they're old enough to make an informed decision (at that time it's out of my hands). However, it opens up new revenue streams and takes pressure off of local police. It's absurd that this isn't legal. But whether it's legal or not, it has no business being in our schools...just like alcohol.
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:49 PM   #93
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It won't, trust me. The principal isn't going to call the cops about this. He knows about the kids smoking on the grounds, so do the teachers & the teachers have seen it, smelled it & no one has called the cops, ever.
Are you certain that the school has never called the police? I work at a high school and the police are in several times a week. We even have a community liason officer assigned to us.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:00 PM   #94
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My 14yo 9th grade DD texted me from school today to tell me she was offered drugs!

During her art class the girl that sits next to her made a comment that she stunk and needed perfume, so she opens her bag and in it was a bag filled with weed. She asks my DD hey, do you want some? You wanna smoke with me later. My DD replied, "no thanks, I'm good." Then texted me after the class to tell me what had happened. She was a little shaken up and went on to tell me she was scared and it was such a crazy thing she couldn't even believe it happened.

For years I have heard rumors about drugs in the school & some of DD's friends had told me some hair raising stories about the H.S. But, having never had first hand experience I chalked it up to kids spreading rumors and it couldn't have been as bad as they were saying.

When DD started this year in the H.S. she told me that the kids walk into the woods during lunch and smoke pot. She then went on to tell me that the tearchers were aware, joked about it and mentioned smelling it in the school because one of the classes has a window facing the woods. Anyway of course I was dumbstruck but again I let it go and told DD to stay away from the kids doing it.

Then this happens today. I really wasn't sure how to handle it. When I called DH he hung up with me and immediately called the school and spoke to the principal. He told my DH he had just started at the school in Dec and was well aware of the drug problem and said it has actually gotten better since he arrived but admitted more needed to be done. My DH told him he'll give him a week to come up with a plan to end the drugs on school property otherwise he will call the police. He also told him we would help in any way we could. (I'm a SAHM and would totally be willing to monitor the area outside during lunch, I can't believe there isn't even one adult present!) The principal said he'd call my DH next week and apologized and admitted the drug situation was bad. He asked if DD was willing to give names it would help and promised he would never say where he got the info from but DH told him no. He doesn't want her put in that position.

So my question is, how would you handle this? Am I under reacting, did DH over react? Should we, could we do anything else? I just don't know how to proceed.

I will say I am so proud of my DD for saying no and telling me about it!
First off kudos to you dh for telling the principal to "NO" on naming names. Let me tell you that is one thing you do not want to have your dd associated with. Gimmie a break...like the chick with the weed in her purse would not know who told.

Second, good for your dh for being firm. Threatening to call the police is a good start to stopping the smoking in the woods during lunch.

We have police at our schools already so no one is out smoking in school or outside school.

So far at this school they have not brought in the drug dogs but they would if they needed too.

I would say that the worst school was a middle school ages ago. The kids were dealing drugs in class. Teachers knew it. They tried to keep it under wraps so as not to attract attention in the community.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:04 PM   #95
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I don't think people are saying it's not a big deal, but I think it's just a given, just as it was 50 years ago. I'm preparing my kids for the path, not the path for my children.

I expect my children to be exposed to drugs, alcohol, smoking, sexual situations, bullying, stealing etc. The same with my future grandchildren. My job, as a parent, is to try to educate them, and give them the tools and motivation to make smart decisions.

You can choose to spend your time and energy getting drugs away from other teenagers, or shovel the tide, with the same results.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:09 PM   #96
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Are you certain that the school has never called the police? I work at a high school and the police are in several times a week. We even have a community liason officer assigned to us.
Agreed -- how do you know the cops haven't been called? Maybe they have and given what you said about the cops winking at underage drinking because they know the parents, maybe the cops are winking at pot smoking because they know the parents too? Or maybe the teachers/principal think it's futile to call the cops given the apparent history of them turning a blind eye.

Basically, if the cops won't take it seriously, then there may be little a principal can do.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:17 PM   #97
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My #1 concern would be any PHYSICAL backlash against DD for doing so. For those who think the girl should "do the right thing", are you not concerned the "druggie", or her friends, might beat up your child in retaliation?

OP, as far as what I'd do...

I would probably notify school authorities my child was offered drugs not only on school grounds, but in class. Other than that, probably nothing.

Another thought... those who think the girl should turn in her classmate... do you call police when you see someone speeding or running a red light?
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:28 PM   #98
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My #1 concern would be any PHYSICAL backlash against DD for doing so. For those who think the girl should "do the right thing", are you not concerned the "druggie", or her friends, might beat up your child in retaliation?

OP, as far as what I'd do...

I would probably notify school authorities my child was offered drugs not only on school grounds, but in class. Other than that, probably nothing.

Another thought... those who think the girl should turn in her classmate... do you call police when you see someone speeding or running a red light?
My 15 yo is 6'3" 230 and on the football team. He has also been going to Ju Jit Su classes. Pretty sure people at school aren't picking fights with him. To say nothing of the fact that he's pretty popular. My 13 yo is heading in that direction. Very popular, not as thick, but nobody is messing with him.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:32 PM   #99
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My 15 yo is 6'3" 230 and on the football team. He has also been going to Ju Jit Su classes. Pretty sure people at school aren't picking fights with him. To say nothing of the fact that he's pretty popular. My 13 yo is heading in that direction. Very popular, not as thick, but nobody is messing with him.
I'm glad you have that confidence in your kids. Speaking for my oldest DD (also a Freshman), I don't. To me, it's not worth "doing the right thing" if it results in physical harm to my DD.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:36 PM   #100
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A teenager with pot on his/her person. Stop the presses!!
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:39 PM   #101
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I'm glad you have that confidence in your kids. Speaking for my oldest DD (also a Freshman), I don't. To me, it's not worth "doing the right thing" if it results in physical harm to my DD.
Daughters are different. I'm thankful everyday that I don't have any. Because there'd be no way in hell that someone would touch my daughter without me going to jail afterwards. Sometimes you just have to choke someone out.
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Old 09-27-2012, 05:16 PM   #102
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My 15 yo is 6'3" 230 and on the football team. He has also been going to Ju Jit Su classes. Pretty sure people at school aren't picking fights with him. To say nothing of the fact that he's pretty popular. My 13 yo is heading in that direction. Very popular, not as thick, but nobody is messing with him.
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Reading this thread makes me glad that I have man-sized kids. My 15 year old is 6'4" 235 and wears a 36x34 and my 13 year old is 5'9" 150 and wears 32x32. Easy to find anywhere.
http://disboards.com/showthread.php?...8#post46255378
I'm hoping your son is alright. After all, he's lost an inch of height and five pounds in the three days between these two posts.
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Old 09-27-2012, 05:49 PM   #103
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I'm hoping your son is alright. After all, he's lost an inch of height and five pounds in the three days between these two posts.
Thanks for your concern! He got measured/weighed yesterday and he is indeed 6'3" 230. I was estimating the other day. I'm sure he will be taller when he is done growing. But I'm always happy to meet a member of the quote police. The compassion and concern is always amazing!
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Old 09-27-2012, 05:58 PM   #104
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We have become a society of lazy everything. Lazy parenting, lazy policing, lazy teaching, lazy kids. The right thing to do isn't always popular and the popular thing to do isn't always right.

Don't get me wrong, I think that marijuana should be legalized and regulated. It would do wonders for our economy. However, school isn't the place for this stuff. If either one of my boys were offered drugs, they would tell me. And the person that offered them to my boys would have to deal with me. Trust me, that wouldn't be their first choice. It would probably end with them in jail for a possession charge and me in jail for assault.
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Well, luckily neither one of my boys have been offered drugs in their schools. Nor have I witnessed any drug or alcohol use. But rest assured, if I were to hear about it, there would be a confrontation. First with me and the offending party. They'd get a chance to flush it down the toilet and converse with their parents about it. If they declined, they would get a chance to work it out with the police, parents and school board.
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IMO, it honestly depends on how the kid reacts. If he's indignant, argumentative and confrontational, it escalates. If he's respectful, apologetic and conscientious about it, it deescalates. If it's my kid, god help him.
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My 15 yo is 6'3" 230 and on the football team. He has also been going to Ju Jit Su classes. Pretty sure people at school aren't picking fights with him. To say nothing of the fact that he's pretty popular. My 13 yo is heading in that direction. Very popular, not as thick, but nobody is messing with him.
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Daughters are different. I'm thankful everyday that I don't have any. Because there'd be no way in hell that someone would touch my daughter without me going to jail afterwards. Sometimes you just have to choke someone out.
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Old 09-27-2012, 06:00 PM   #105
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I went to a private school in an upper middle class suburb and graduated 32 years ago and there were drugs being offered back then, there were drugs in school then.

I don't disagree that the offenders should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law when they are caught, but the better thing to do is teach your DD about drugs, how to say no etc.

I never did drugs. Wasn't my thing. If I were in a situation where drugs were around, I would generally say no and then shortly thereafter casually get myself out of the situation....

This isn't a new problem and if the prinicipal is aware of it, but is fairly new to the position....well, there is only so much someone can get done in a short period of time.
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