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Old 09-27-2012, 02:50 PM   #31
penn19
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Originally Posted by luvmy3 View Post





Quite frankly I'd worry about my dd more if she was labeled as a narc more than I'd worry about her doing drugs that were offered her.
This exactly. Good that the girl turned down the drugs, but she doesn't need the rep of a narc. Especially freshman year! You don't want to do drugs? Say no and move on.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:50 PM   #32
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I have no idea how old you are and don't want to put you on the spot but I have to agree. Drugs in school were there when I was there (1980-1993)..heck for that matter drugs were in school, kids were smoking pot and getting high when my PARENTS were in school..they are 60 and 56 respectively. This is hardly some new shocking thing or something to get all freaked out over.

If it was me I would pat myself on the back that my kid made the right choice and let the school know and move on from there.
I just turned 26, graduated high school in 2004. Oh and from the description the OP gave (small town where almost everyone knows everyone else and most kids know most of the area cops etc) it was in a similar area. My graduating class had 84 students and with that few their weren't really cliques.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:51 PM   #33
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Show of hands - who here thinks a loaded gun and marijuana are comparable?

I do not.

Your daughter did the right thing by saying no and talking to you. I certainly did not share that much info with my parents, though I hope my son does with me when the time comes.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:51 PM   #34
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Of course not. That's not even in the same universe.
Right. Drugs and drug dealers have never killed anyone. Thanks for clarifying.

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Again, my issue isn't that kids are smoking pot, as I said I already was at that age. My issue is the blatant use of it on school grounds. The kids have no fear about getting caught. Is everyone forgetting that pot is still illegal? If I was pulled over & had it in my car I would get arrested. So a kid who has it on them in school & is smoking it in school during school gets a pass cause they are a teenager & expected to smoke up??
^^^This should be the end of the thread. Valid points and case closed.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:51 PM   #35
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I wouldn't care what the other kids thought. If I was doing the right thing.
Its not about what they think, its about how they would treat a narc, and it wouldn't be too kindly. I'd rather have my dd just say no and mind her business than make herself a target for backlash. She is my concern, not the girl with pot in her bag.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:52 PM   #36
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I don't view drugs lightheartedly. I think it's outrageous that the problem is so obvious and accepted that teachers are joking about it. Clearly a plan and an attitude adjustment are both in order.

That said, I think your dh was over the top to the point of being ridiculous giving the principal a one week deadline with a threat. When you make those sort of over the top statements and threats you get put into the category of "That sort of parent." Which means you are discounted and they will make attempts to marginalize you and shut you out.

I'd suggest the two of you go in and calmly talk to the principal about ways you might help him formulate a plan and get other parents involved as well. That plan will, of necessity, have to involve police and the school board. A good plan to deal with drugs will also, of necesssity, require more than one week to create and implement, especially when you're dealing with the bureaucratic maze of modern school systems.

As a practical, safety-related matter, I'd also be loathe to have my dd identified as the tattletale about drugs -- which is what would happen if you call the police on what she witnessed.

ETA: Police were stationed at the high school in our suburban town, largely to deal with drugs. Nonetheless, my dd had nearly daily stories to tell about kids getting busted for buying, selling and using drugs. The most common place to smoke weed was in their cars. Two years ago, they went to a closed campus and you weren't allowed to go to your car during school hours. Then the kids started to bring gin and vodka to school in water bottles. They aren't allowed to have them in class, so they'd keep them in their lockers and drink them down between classes. When they banned the water bottles, the kids started to bring in ziploc bags with alcohol and take them into the bathroom to drink. My point is not that it's futile to make an anti-drug plan but just as you avoided facing the reality of drugs in your dd's school until she was personally involved, please avoid thinking that stopping the kids from smoking pot in the woods is going to be the end of the problem.

Last edited by Andtototoo; 09-27-2012 at 03:00 PM.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:53 PM   #37
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Good for your DD for telling you about it.

Do you not have drug-sniffing dogs that come in occasionally and walk the halls?

Even here in po-dunk WI, they do that throughout the year and kids know their lockers can be searched at any time, for any reason.
In my daughters school as well...

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Unless my kid was in some kind of danger, I doubt I would have said anything.
This is no help.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"

I would talk to my daughter about naming the girl who offered it. It really is the right thing to do.

The school has a problem and you as parents have two choices:
- Become part of the problem (which you are indirectly by throwing out ridiculous threats against the administration)

- or become part of the solution (which you would be if your daughter talks to the Principal about who is selling pot at school).
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:55 PM   #38
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Some of the responses here really make sense of the direction this country is headed. "It's okay, everyone is doing it." "They will just wait until after school." "A loaded gun and drugs aren't comparable." "I wouldn't want my kid to be labeled a narc."

Welcome to 2012 America. I wouldn't want to try to stand up for what I believe in, educate and change behavior either. This country has been so successful recently, after all.
You seem to feel so strongly about it, what are you doing? Are you visiting local schools and patrolling to see if any kids are doing drugs so you can do the right thing and report them? Probably not its easier to let someone else do it, right?
Sorry, i'm not overly concerned about some 10th grader with a nickel bag in her purse. I have other things to worry about.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:55 PM   #39
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Right. Drugs and drug dealers have never killed anyone. Thanks for clarifying.



^^^This should be the end of the thread. Valid points and case closed.
Yes drug dealers are known for wandering around school halls and shooting people. Also all those school shootings have been the result of drugs, right? They were drug dealers? Oh that's right..not at all and drug dealers aren't running amok shooting children in school either.

No sorry..no matter how you try to justify it drugs and guns are not even on the same page and not comparable to each other in regards to the threat to safety.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:56 PM   #40
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Apparently I need to say this again, there is no way my DD is giving up names & telling on anyone!!!

And the reason why she texted from school was because she was so shocked by what happened & we are very close & she tells me everything. She could be labeled as a "goody two shoes" & stuff like this freaks her out. She just didn't think she would be put in that position at school.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:58 PM   #41
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Once in a while my school had the police dogs... but we would start hearing rumors that they would be there at least a week before. So the pot was gone before the dogs got there except for the REALLY dumb kids (the stereotypical druggies whose parents didn't care anyway)
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:59 PM   #42
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My kids go to urban schools. They are great schools, but they are in an urban setting. We know what goes on at the high school. My DS talks about "smokers corner" and he knows a lot of kids who get high. The administration is well aware of the situation, which quite frankly, is no different than the suburban schools and private schools- and is actually probably BETTER than those schools (those kids tend to have more cash readily available). So anyway, the administration does what they can. I think a big issue is the parents. Parents want to be their kids' friend. They are lenient and don't discipline. But when kids are heading down the wrong road, and schools have to deal with them- parents clamp down on the schools and then the schools are the bad guys. You know, everyone has angels for kids....

We have always taught our children to be choosy about who their friends are. They are very involved in school and in church. We talk to them all the time about walking away from situations that include drugs and alcohol. We remind them that it only takes ONE time to become addicted to some of these street drugs. We can't control what every child does- but we can educate our own children and be involved enough in their lives to know what they are doing.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:59 PM   #43
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Oh & I in no way would put weed & guns in the same category! But that still doesn't mean that the sale or use of weed during school is ok with me.
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:00 PM   #44
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In my daughters school as well...



This is no help.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"

I would talk to my daughter about naming the girl who offered it. It really is the right thing to do.

The school has a problem and you as parents have two choices:
- Become part of the problem (which you are indirectly by throwing out ridiculous threats against the administration)

- or become part of the solution (which you would be if your daughter talks to the Principal about who is selling pot at school).
Great points here. I really wonder what a lot of people here are teaching their kids at home by "saying no, keeping quiet and moving on"? Laziness perpetuates laziness. Is marijuana really comparable to having a loaded gun? No, of course not. Are having drugs in school potentially just as dangerous? It may take an extreme situation, but yes.

As I said earlier - the right thing to do isn't always popular and the popular thing isn't always right. I teach my kids to live this. Am I popular for limiting them to 1 hour of Xbox 360 per night? No. But it's the right thing to do to make sure that homework, sports, housework and extracurricular learning happen. I refuse to let my kids grow up lazy or have an entitlement mentality just because doing the right thing is hard.
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:02 PM   #45
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Right. Drugs and drug dealers have never killed anyone. Thanks for clarifying.



^^^This should be the end of the thread. Valid points and case closed.

A high school kid with some weed does not necessarily equal a drug dealer.


I'm aware it's illegal, never said otherwise. And I think the girl with pot in her purse is an idiot but I still wouldn't call the school. She may be dumb but she's likely not dangerous.
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