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Old 09-27-2012, 01:32 PM   #16
jrmasm
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Originally Posted by jp24 View Post
Pretty sure if drugs are being offered and peddled around the school, your kid is in danger. Those drugs have to come from somewhere and those people usually aren't wholesome and pure. If more than one supplier is represented in school, there's potential for some sort of turf war breaking out.

Make no mistake about it, if it's not kept out of your child's school, your kid is in danger.
I disagree.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:33 PM   #17
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OK the bold is ridiculous. I think letting the Principal know is enough. You think they aren't aware? Does your DH think the police aren't aware? Your DD will likely be called in and told to name names and they will proceed from there. They don't owe you or your DH a plan of action based on his phone call or 1 incident being report by him and a week? Come on now!

Drugs in high school are hardly anything new..the important thing and what I would focus on is your DD knows how to say no and walk away. You have given her a foundation to make the right choice and she made it. She knows what to do if it comes up again as well.



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I'm shocked so many people are saying they would just ignore it. This is illegal activity.

If nothing else call the school anyonmously sp? and say you know so and so has drugs on her. Her parents need to know that she doing drugs.
Quite frankly I'd worry about my dd more if she was labeled as a narc more than I'd worry about her doing drugs that were offered her.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:33 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by jp24 View Post
Hmmmm, I think the "keep your head down and mouth shut" mentality here is what has perpetuated this problem to begin with. The keep quiet approach hasn't worked for 40 years. Why would it start now? Zero tolerance should mean just that - ZERO TOLERANCE. You bring drugs to school, you go to jail. You forfeit your right to come back to school. I wonder if the reaction would have been the same if OP's daughter would have seen a loaded gun in her classmate's backpack.
Since when has it been a "keep quiet" approach for 40 years?

A loaded gun and pot are not remotely comparable to each other. Who said there wasn't zero tolerance or that the school will not act on it? They will get the name from the DD and go from there..of course they obviously will need to find pot on the student as they can't arrest or expel them based on the word of another student.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:40 PM   #19
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Honestly I don't understand the big overreaction. Kids had drugs when I was in school. My friends were high half the time. My friends knew I didn't do drugs and they didn't pressure me too (and it sounds like this girl didn't pressure your DD either, she just said "Hey do you want some") I got asked that quite a bit freshman year. By sophmore year it became "I'd offer but you would just say no anyway"

Heck one day we had kids smoking weed on the bus. I still don't understand how they didn't get in trouble for that one. I was in the front of the bus and I could smell it so the only thing I can think of is the bus driver just didn't care.

As for what I would do. I would take your DD out for ice cream or some other small treat and tell her how happy you are that she not only didn't do drugs but even told you she was offered.

Your kids will be offered drugs... Heck my 18 year old niece was offered drugs by my Brother in Law in front of my neice's father!! Now if students were pressuring others to do drugs, acting dangerously, bringing in weapons yeah... but my school barely even had bad fist fights by all accounts it was a VERY safe school.

Really to me its not that different then last week on travel where my co-workers offered me alcohol. When I said no they seemed surprised that I don't drink at all and then we went on with the conversation.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:41 PM   #20
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My DH was totally blowing smoke by saying he'll give the principal one week. It was more of a way to let the principal know that DH was seriously upset & didn't want his info blown off. Like I said this principal is new & he wasn't sure how serious he would take the info. Also he didn't give himself time to think before he called he just reacted.

To answer some other things brought up, no we do not have drug sniffing dogs or random locker searches. We are in a small upper middle class suburb & everyone knows everyone. It's the kind of town where the cops will not even break up parties of under age drinkers they just tell the kids to keep quiet because there're friends of the parents. I got that info from my cousin who found out about a party her DD attended & when she made a big stink about it all the other parents told her "kids will be kids".

Maybe I am over reacting, but my father, sister & uncle are all addicts. I started drinking at 12 and at 14 I was doing major drugs. I do not do anything anymore, and there isn't even alcohol in our house & DH has never had a drink or drug in his life. We have always talked to our kids about the dangers of drugs & alcohol & unfortunately they have seen first hand what they do to people.

I am we'll aware of the way things are in the world & of course knew my DD would be offered drugs at some point. But in school, during class? Absolutely not! A party yeah but in the classroom?
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:41 PM   #21
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Ok, I don't have older kids, but I'm just imagining how I would have behaved in this situation.

I can see myself freaking and forcing my daughter to tell me who this girl was. Then I'd call the principal AND her parents. If my daughter gets labeled a narc, good, then those losers will keep themselves and their drugs away from her.

Granted this probably isn't the best way to go about it. But I wasn't even offered a candy cigarette in high school, and the whole prospect freaks me out.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:41 PM   #22
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Since when has it been a "keep quiet" approach for 40 years?

A loaded gun and pot are not remotely comparable to each other. Who said there wasn't zero tolerance or that the school will not act on it? They will get the name from the DD and go from there..of course they obviously will need to find pot on the student as they can't arrest or expel them based on the word of another student.
We have become a society of lazy everything. Lazy parenting, lazy policing, lazy teaching, lazy kids. The right thing to do isn't always popular and the popular thing to do isn't always right.

Don't get me wrong, I think that marijuana should be legalized and regulated. It would do wonders for our economy. However, school isn't the place for this stuff. If either one of my boys were offered drugs, they would tell me. And the person that offered them to my boys would have to deal with me. Trust me, that wouldn't be their first choice. It would probably end with them in jail for a possession charge and me in jail for assault.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:42 PM   #23
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Quite frankly I'd worry about my dd more if she was labeled as a narc more than I'd worry about her doing drugs that were offered her.
I wouldn't care what the other kids thought. If I was doing the right thing.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:43 PM   #24
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A loaded gun and weed? Really?

Agree OP and especially OP's husband way overreacted. I actually laughed when I got to the 'I'll give you one week' line. As others have pointed out, that's just ridiculous and frankly offensive to the principal.

Good for your daughter for saying she didn't want to smoke but I don't quite know what she was hoping to accomplish calling up to tell you in the middle of the day either really?

It's high school. The kids also drink, I guarantee.

It's a problem that they're all walking around openly smoking up at school and with a purse full of weed, yes, but that's, to me, a general problem with the demographics as much as the school.

Even if the school gets it off campus mainly; the same kids are just going to wait and go smoke after school.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:44 PM   #25
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I'm curious... How many of the people that have posted that this is OMG serious!!! have been in high school (either as a teacher or a student) in the last 10 years. Because when I was in high school 50% of the kids did drugs at some point. Many I would say at least 10-20% frequently did drugs and 100% could easily get drugs if they had some cash. I was the valedictorian and goodie two shoes and even I could manage to get drugs within a day or two. Actually I think I would have had a harder time getting booze.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:46 PM   #26
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Honestly I don't understand the big overreaction. Kids had drugs when I was in school. My friends were high half the time. My friends knew I didn't do drugs and they didn't pressure me too (and it sounds like this girl didn't pressure your DD either, she just said "Hey do you want some") I got asked that quite a bit freshman year. By sophmore year it became "I'd offer but you would just say no anyway"

Heck one day we had kids smoking weed on the bus. I still don't understand how they didn't get in trouble for that one. I was in the front of the bus and I could smell it so the only thing I can think of is the bus driver just didn't care.

As for what I would do. I would take your DD out for ice cream or some other small treat and tell her how happy you are that she not only didn't do drugs but even told you she was offered.

Your kids will be offered drugs... Heck my 18 year old niece was offered drugs by my Brother in Law in front of my neice's father!! Now if students were pressuring others to do drugs, acting dangerously, bringing in weapons yeah... but my school barely even had bad fist fights by all accounts it was a VERY safe school.

Really to me its not that different then last week on travel where my co-workers offered me alcohol. When I said no they seemed surprised that I don't drink at all and then we went on with the conversation.
I have no idea how old you are and don't want to put you on the spot but I have to agree. Drugs in school were there when I was there (1980-1993)..heck for that matter drugs were in school, kids were smoking pot and getting high when my PARENTS were in school..they are 60 and 56 respectively. This is hardly some new shocking thing or something to get all freaked out over.

If it was me I would pat myself on the back that my kid made the right choice and let the school know and move on from there.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:48 PM   #27
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Some of the responses here really make sense of the direction this country is headed. "It's okay, everyone is doing it." "They will just wait until after school." "A loaded gun and drugs aren't comparable." "I wouldn't want my kid to be labeled a narc."

Welcome to 2012 America. I wouldn't want to try to stand up for what I believe in, educate and change behavior either. This country has been so successful recently, after all.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:49 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jp24 View Post
Hmmmm, I think the "keep your head down and mouth shut" mentality here is what has perpetuated this problem to begin with. The keep quiet approach hasn't worked for 40 years. Why would it start now? Zero tolerance should mean just that - ZERO TOLERANCE. You bring drugs to school, you go to jail. You forfeit your right to come back to school. I wonder if the reaction would have been the same if OP's daughter would have seen a loaded gun in her classmate's backpack.

Of course not. That's not even in the same universe.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:49 PM   #29
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Again, my issue isn't that kids are smoking pot, as I said I already was at that age. My issue is the blatant use of it on school grounds. The kids have no fear about getting caught. Is everyone forgetting that pot is still illegal? If I was pulled over & had it in my car I would get arrested. So a kid who has it on them in school & is smoking it in school during school gets a pass cause they are a teenager & expected to smoke up??
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:50 PM   #30
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Check out the movie "Dazed and Confused." Felt like a documentary for my high school I attended just about during the same time period. This kind of thing has been going since, well, forever.

Kudos to your daughter for sharing with you. But all the stuff with the principal and others comparing it to having a gun on school grounds seems like an overreaction to me.
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