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Old 09-25-2012, 08:04 AM   #16
goofyintoronto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cornflake View Post
What happens if everyone ignores him when he does this?
Im guessing he'd probably keep talking, and louder.

LOL
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Old 09-25-2012, 08:05 AM   #17
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and you didnt think your post would stir things up here...on disboards? LOL!
That was my thought exactly!
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Old 09-25-2012, 08:14 AM   #18
cornflake
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goofyintoronto View Post
Im guessing he'd probably keep talking, and louder.

LOL
Yes, but then what, you know?

If it's attention-seeking behaviour, it's equivalent to a toddler's tantrum.

Ignore it. At first it may escalate, but once they learn the behaviour gets them NO reward whatsoever, that if they try it, everyone steps over them and keeps talking as if they don't even exist, they give it up pretty quick.

Presumably, if he's not impaired to the point he can't grasp that connection, he'd make it.

Put on something you've seen before, so it's not so irritating as something you're actually trying to watch, though he won't know you're not if you act as if you are, and experiment. Simply ignore it. No matter how loud or intrusive it gets.

Try it again the next day. A couple days later, it may have stopped.

HOWEVER, I'd say you should also be sure to engage him at other, appropriate times.

Just like teaching a toddler that a tantrum doesn't work. That behaviour gets them nothing. If they come to you and say 'I'm mad!' however, you completely engage and discuss it, because you want to reinforce that that's appropriate communication.

If they interrupt while you're on the phone (for no good reason), you ignore them. If they come up while you're talking to your husband and say 'excuse me,' you engage them.

Reward appropriate behaviour and remember he's limited, in pain, etc., and your brother, so you want to be able to talk to him, make him feel part of the family and involved and you want to be able to chat and all - just when it's appropriate.
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Old 09-25-2012, 11:36 AM   #19
goofyintoronto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cornflake

Yes, but then what, you know?

If it's attention-seeking behaviour, it's equivalent to a toddler's tantrum.

Ignore it. At first it may escalate, but once they learn the behaviour gets them NO reward whatsoever, that if they try it, everyone steps over them and keeps talking as if they don't even exist, they give it up pretty quick.

Presumably, if he's not impaired to the point he can't grasp that connection, he'd make it.

Put on something you've seen before, so it's not so irritating as something you're actually trying to watch, though he won't know you're not if you act as if you are, and experiment. Simply ignore it. No matter how loud or intrusive it gets.

Try it again the next day. A couple days later, it may have stopped.

HOWEVER, I'd say you should also be sure to engage him at other, appropriate times.

Just like teaching a toddler that a tantrum doesn't work. That behaviour gets them nothing. If they come to you and say 'I'm mad!' however, you completely engage and discuss it, because you want to reinforce that that's appropriate communication.

If they interrupt while you're on the phone (for no good reason), you ignore them. If they come up while you're talking to your husband and say 'excuse me,' you engage them.

Reward appropriate behaviour and remember he's limited, in pain, etc., and your brother, so you want to be able to talk to him, make him feel part of the family and involved and you want to be able to chat and all - just when it's appropriate.
Some ppl are VERY persistent and just dont get it...no common sense. Even if you ignore them they keep going strong. Lol.

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Old 09-25-2012, 11:55 AM   #20
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Can you have a TV in your bedroom to leave and go in there and watch?

It must be difficult to deal with. It sounds like you are a great daughter and sibling.....you must be, or you wouldn't be living with all of those folks! I don't think I could do it.

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Old 09-25-2012, 02:01 PM   #21
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So sorry for your issues. I know how hard it can be to have an adult with disabilities & some emotional/mental issues also.

My snarky question is: How deep is the pond, how many can we hide and can I think about borrowing sometimes?

I have 2 teens, 1 16 yr old male with various issues including but not limited to ADHD and some emotional delay who just found out he can use the xbox to play games online & chat with people ALL over the world & thinks he can function with zip hours of sleep AND a just turned 13 yr old DD who just found out her hormones are on full tilt & wants to watch her stuff on same xbox (no cable, to expensive). I may want to use the pond for the xbox if not the kids!
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Old 09-25-2012, 07:45 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katlas&kids View Post
[B][COLOR="Teal"]

My snarky question is: How deep is the pond, how many can we hide and can I think about borrowing sometimes?
It is pretty big. Goes behind several homes! Come on over we can have a throw them/it in the pond party!!

To answer the question, if we ignore will he get the message. NOPE! Tried it. He either talks louder or stands literally in front of the tv. I have said he was being rude in the past (kinda like you would talk to a 5 year old simple) and he will literally stomp in his room and slam his door! So that temporarily solves the problem but he will stomp around the house all evening like a 2 year old. Add his cane and your hear....THUD, STOMP, THUD, STOMP!!

I really appreciate the ideas and I think we may look into the headphones (visual que that this is not appropriate time to talk) and another modified ignoring technique. Mostly I just needed to vent cause he was simply on my last nerve last night!
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