College: Who Pays - Parent or Kid?

[ArmyWife7]

My parents paid for my undergraduate degree and I used my company's tuition reimbursement program for my Master's. DH took out several student loans for undergraduate and graduate studies, plus studying abroad for 2 semesters. I hated the fact I entered into our marriage 100% debt free while he had thousands of dollars in school loans, which we are still paying 10 years later.

We will pay for our DDs college educations. DH hasn't used anything from his GI Bill, which can be passed down to his children. Plus we opened IRAs for them when they were born. However, the girls will not know about these funds. We still want them to try hard and apply for scholarships. If they end up with a full scholarship, their money we have put away can be used for something else.

[cornflake]

I've hear the 'kids don't appreciate it if they don't pay for it' thing but that's not been my experience. In my family, college is like h.s. - there's no question about going, it's simply the expectation as part of basic eucation. Hence, parents pay, if at all possible, if not entirely, as much as is feasible.

[whoopsiedoodle]

It was a little bit of both. My parents and my grandparents paid as much as possible so basically books, housing (after I moved out of dorms) and misc. I had a bunch of scholarships and loans for the rest. When I graduated I had over $25,000 in debt and my husband had close to $30,000 (not bad for a small private college!). It took less than 7 years for us to pay off ALL of my debt and 80% or so of his. We did not have high paying jobs (I worked for a daycare and then opened my own) and he jumped around alot for a few years. We just buckled down and took care of it. I expect my children to do the same. We will save and help some but it will mostly be on them. I have no doubt that with my husbands business/money sense that they will grow up respecting money and debt. If they get into trouble, we'll be there to help but it's up to them.

[stitchywoman]

I paid for all my school expenses. My dad never paid child support to my mom so I felt that I didn't want to put any more undue stress on her. I worked my butt off in school so I could get scholarships and worked out the rest and took out loans. My daughter knows we can't afford to send her so she is doing the same thing. I think it is good for you to do it yourself. I am proud that I pulled it off and it gave me pride that I could do it. I will help my daughter if she needs it and we can afford it, but we will see how it goes.

[ExPirateShopGirl]

My parents paid for mine... and I am paying for my kids, who are BOTH in college now.

[MAH4546]

I believe it's the parents full responsibility to pay for their child's four year college degree, so that the child graduates debt free and without having worked during school. But I know not many will agree with me.

[niffer5150]

This is a big topic at our house right now. We will be paying for our DD college, at least till grad school. She wants to go to Harvard and I will do whatever I have to to make sure she has the opportunity if she wants it. Whatever it takes, ill get it done. We currently put a fair amount of money away in an account. When she no longer needs me to be a stay at home mom, ill be going back to work and putting away my salary for her school. Shes doing her part by going into a special "high school" next year that's at the local college. The classes are duel credit and she can earn 22 a semester. I don't think she will take it for granted tho, she works way too hard to hold up her end of the deal.

[Just People]

Originally Posted by MAH4546

I believe it's the parents full responsibility to pay for their child's four year college degree, so that the child graduates debt free and without having worked during school. But I know not many will agree with me.

I don't have any kids of my own (Thank Jebus!) but I will pbbly tell my kids what mom told me, "You're 18, you are on your own!" I lived at home, but paid for rent and school on my own while working.

[disykat]

Like my parents, we are paying for undergrad, without loans if possible. However, like my parents, we expect the kids to participate and adhere to the following stipulations:

Summer jobs in high school and college to help pay as much as they can, at the minimum their own personal expenses and more as able. Each term we sit down and make plans so everyone is in the loop, knows grades, knows costs, and communicates about how everything is getting covered.

Jobs during the year if it can be worked into their schedule without interfering with their school work.

Good grades etc. and initiative to get scholarships as able.

Choose a school where their financial package including scholarships and the number we told them we could afford enables them to get out of school with no more than about 20K of loans total. In other words, if they want to go to a private or out of state school they have to earn some scholarships.

The expectation of full support only continues for four years after high school graduation and as long as the student is in good standing and still our financial dependent. (and as I keep reminding my independent one who is still in high school - as long as we hear from him weekly!)

It worked for me and my siblings and so far it's working for my oldest.

[superme80]

I have always said my kids were going to pay their own way. Thankfully we have years to go, but I am thinking we need to put some money towards it.

[Swimalie]

My parents paid for both me and my sister's degrees. My husband had to pay for half of his so he had to work while going to school. I worked summers just for spending money. We will pay for my son's college as well. Although he's told us he wants to go to the Naval Academy (he's 7).

[kaismommie]

My mom helped me with undergraduate, but I also had to take out loans. I decided to go back to get my MS in Chemistry two years ago and I took out loans for that as well. This was my decision to go back and I went in knowing I'd be responsible for it all. I have less than a year left and I'm in $69K of debt. I'm perfectly fine with it and refuse to take anymore loans out. I probably didn't have to take out as much as I did, but I did for personal reasons.

I have two children, one who is special needs and probably will never get the chance to attend college. However, my son will have the opportunity to, so I opened him up a savings account earlier this year and money is added into it every month. Those funds will be there when he decides on what he wants to do. I don't want him to have to take out loans as an undergraduate and I will do all I can to support him. If he wants to further his degree even more after that, I can't say right now what we'd do. I'd hope he wouldn't have to get into student loan debt as much as I have. So we shall see.

[angierae]

My daughter is a senior in high school this year. She has worked all summer, putting 75% of her paychecks in the bank, and she's looking for another job now. She is doing two years of community college and then two years of living at home and driving to a local university. She will be expected to take out loans, and at least work summers (and put that money towards school expenses.) My husband and I will fill in the gaps.

I do not believe student loans are the worst thing ever. She will probably have no more than $10k in loans and I don't think that's unreasonable.

I have told her if she wants to live elsewhere during her last two years of college (dorm, apartment, etc) she is responsible for paying for that herself. I'm not paying for her to live somewhere else when there's a roof right here with food and everything already paid.

[mhsjax]

Originally Posted by cornflake

I've hear the 'kids don't appreciate it if they don't pay for it' thing but that's not been my experience. In my family, college is like h.s. - there's no question about going, it's simply the expectation as part of basic eucation. Hence, parents pay, if at all possible, if not entirely, as much as is feasible.

You and I agree 100% on this one. I will do whatever I have to, to pay for my kids college. They are good kids, they work hard and know that college is expected, and they want it also. I don't want them strapped with loans when they get out. My friends parents paid for their college, we were all very lucky, and none of them washed out and they are for the most part very successful members of society today, and are extremely hard workers.

[torinsmom]

I was lucky enough to get grants to pay for college and have enough of a refund to pay for books and about 3 months of rent. After that, my parents paid my rent and I worked to pay my utilities, food, gas etc. That was my first degree. After that, I paid for the rest of my degrees and had to take out student loans.

I plan to pay for my son's college. He qualifies for pell grants. Unfortunately, he said he was going to community college and then withdrew after classes started, so there is a balance. He will be paying that off, since it was unnecessary, and working until he does start(and part time afterwards as well)