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Old 09-07-2012, 08:35 PM   #46
BLAZEY
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Another Canadian here

I am glad you are working with the school to make the transtition from home to Kindergarten easier for your DD. Here in BC, a July birthday is not late, but average. Here being held back is discouraged. Our cut off is December 31. I was an August birthday and went to kindergarten at 5. My daughter will got at 5.5 as her birthday is march. My best friend was a mid December birthday and had no trouble with school and she started Kindergarten at 4. A child of age 6 at the start of the school year would be placed in grade 1, not kindergarten unless they had learning disabilities. Kindergarten is a program designed for 5 yr olds. I know in Ontario they have Jr Kindergarten for 4yr olds and Sr Kindergarten for 5 yr olds.
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:34 AM   #47
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Glad that your daughter is making the adjustment and that the school is supportive.

Regarding PP we have preschool here for 3-4 and 4-5 then public education begins in Kindergarten.

The cut off for entrance in our district is that the child must be 5 by August 1st to enter. School starts the third week in August. Kindergarten is legally optional here as well (a fact I found stunning!)

My daughter has a birthday of August 7 so she misses cutoff and I would have to petition for entrance which is typically denied because of class size and the availablity of preschool (you have the same age cutoffs according to bithdate) so my daughter will be almost 6 when entering K. All my children missed cutoff.

June/July parents I know can decide to hold back Entrance and some of the most educated people I know make that decision based on how it will affect a child whole school career not just how the child would fair in Kindergarten. Nothing to do with developmental delays.

Canada has a different education system.
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:00 AM   #48
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Any update? How is she doing this week?
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:07 AM   #49
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Hi there

Read The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. about a raccoon who goes off to kindy and misses momma. She gives him her kiss in his hand and then he takes that kiss to kindy all day. every time he misses her, he takes his "kiss" on puts it in his heart and it helps him overcome his anxiety.

Another one I remember is to draw a smiley "mama" face on her finger and anytime she feels sad, she can hold up her "mama finger face" and feel better.

Worth a try.

I'm thinking things are already better. Hoping anyway!!

Good luck!
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Old 09-08-2012, 12:22 PM   #50
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It's funny how summer birthdays cause such controversy. When I was a kid the cutoff was January 1st so a July birthday was totally average. When did it all switch to September 1st?

My son is 3 and has a mid September birthday. (he will be 4 in 10 days) We are an Army family and currently in Kansas for a one year assignment. At this time, we don't have any idea where we are moving next year.

I feel that he will definitely be ready for kindergarten, so if we end up moving to a state with a December 1 cutoff I will probably send him...but we are in a state now with a September 1st cutoff so he is in 3yo preschool and not 4yo preschool. So essentially he would be skipping 4yo preschool. Most of the states that we will possibly move to have a Sept 1 cutoff, so it won't even be an option, even though I really think he will be ready for kindergarten next year. I have a first grader, so I have an idea of what "being ready for kindergarten" entails.
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Old 09-08-2012, 05:57 PM   #51
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Glad things seem to working out OP. I feel for you. We have DD4 with a birthday of Sept 28. Our cutoff date is Sept 30th. I remember telling my OBGYN that I had to have the baby before the 30th as that was the cutoff date....and I was about to turn 41 when I had her....thinking that DH and I were so old we needed to get her started in school ASAP

Fast forward to this year where we had to make the decision. My dd4 is very shy and still needy of her mommy....and although she is ready as far as academics, she is not ready in her maturity. We decided to keep her home this year and I am so thankful for this last year with her before she heads off to school. Blessed I would rather her be the oldest in her class, than the youngest. I know we made the right decision for our dd...and all that pleading with the OBGYN to induce...we didnt even have to go there

Hoping things are going well with your dd too
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Old 09-08-2012, 07:11 PM   #52
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I would wait a few weeks and see if she does any better. My son will be 6 in Jan and he came home the last 2 days exhausted. He was so miserable that I needed to take him for a ride last night because he was screaming/crying at everyone...lol. He has already had 1.5 years of pre k on an IEP so he had to go to kindergarten. He is another who will not use the bathroom at school. its do to a sensory issue and gross motor issues but we are working on it so hopefully sooner or later he will actually go!
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:43 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by BLAZEY View Post
I am glad you are working with the school to make the transtition from home to Kindergarten easier for your DD. Here in BC, a July birthday is not late, but average. Here being held back is discouraged. Our cut off is December 31. I was an August birthday and went to kindergarten at 5. My daughter will got at 5.5 as her birthday is march. My best friend was a mid December birthday and had no trouble with school and she started Kindergarten at 4. A child of age 6 at the start of the school year would be placed in grade 1, not kindergarten unless they had learning disabilities. Kindergarten is a program designed for 5 yr olds. I know in Ontario they have Jr Kindergarten for 4yr olds and Sr Kindergarten for 5 yr olds.
As a Canadian teacher, I don't understand all of the holding back that the US encourages.

You are correct about Ontario, but a bit of clarification, you can start Junior Kindergarten at age 3 (must turn 4 by Dec.) and SK at age 5 (must turn 6 by Dec.).

It is a 2 year program (most are full day, every day), and it is the norm to start school this young.

My kids both started Montessori at age 11 months, and so preschool is also very big here with a transition to kindergarten.

Believe it or not, most kids are ready. We have full inclusion, and so this includes special needs kids as well.

I do understand parents who are concerned with children who show anxiety and nervousness for school, but that is normal. In my professional opinion, US parents have set up a vicious cycle - kids are held back because of worrying about not being ready, so you have 6 and 7 year olds in Kindergarten, which is way too late to be in a formal school setting as literacy and numeracy growth has already started to take place. It also makes for wide age span in classes and at graduation, which in turn can cause a whole host of other problems as well.

We want all kids in Ontario to have equal access to education, and that is why we start so early, and our school system is ranked one of the best in the world, as it's age appropriate learning with an emphasis on social skills, teamwork, learning rules, etc. as well as academic (letter sounds, music, etc.).

I wish the OP's daughter a healthy transition to school, Tiger
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Old 09-09-2012, 08:47 AM   #54
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I am happy to hear you are working with the school, definately give it some time. But if it still seems too much and you did everything you could, then maybe would be ready next year.

My DD4 is just speech delayed, she is very smart but her outgoing communication isn't clear. She knows what she wants to say but has a hard time putting it to words. Since she has had therapy since 18m and started half day preschool at age 3. That was in FL. Now that we moved to VA, they have a full day pre-school which pretty much mirrors kindergarden. She gets a school bus, goes to a classroom in the elementary school just like kindergarden, except they spend so much emphasis on speech. She is 4 turning 5 in late Jan. She is not shy and likes to just go with it. She'll start normal K next year. She loves school.

I always have to remind my DH that all kids are different. He wonders why our DD has so much issues with speech communication. I tell him she'll get it. She's picked up many new words since moving. But I remind him even kids without certain delys have things they need to work through and overcome.

I hope your DD adjusts and gets comfortable with her fears from school. Keep us updated.
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Old 09-09-2012, 08:46 PM   #55
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It's so early in the year, is pulling her out/withdrawing now an option? If it IS an option, are there any places you could possibly get her into a Pre-k class for a couple hours a day? It sounds like you should have held her back. I have no idea what happened in your family the end of the summer, but it sounds like that, plus her starting school was not a good combo for her.

My son will be 5 Oct 1st. Which also happens to be the cut-off date for kids entering kindergarten every year. However, we decided to hold him back one more year. We had him in preschool last year. And the first part of the school year (until after Winter break) was SOOOOO hard. Lots of days we dropped him off and he cried. Lots of days he said he didn't want to go to school. But, it was only for a couple hours 4 days a week, so we stuck with it. He also had really fantastic teachers who assured us every day that we picked him up that the tears lasted a couple minutes before he was off playing with his friends. He is in a pre-k class this year. And so far we have had NO days with any tears. We sign him in, hug him, kiss him, and leave. And he's cool with it. And he talks more this year about how his days have been than he did last year.

And really, when it comes down to it, holding our kids back IS NOT a bad thing. In fact, I have plenty of friends who have done the same thing, and are so glad they did.
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Old 09-09-2012, 10:12 PM   #56
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It's so early in the year, is pulling her out/withdrawing now an option? If it IS an option, are there any places you could possibly get her into a Pre-k class for a couple hours a day? It sounds like you should have held her back. I have no idea what happened in your family the end of the summer, but it sounds like that, plus her starting school was not a good combo for her.

My son will be 5 Oct 1st. Which also happens to be the cut-off date for kids entering kindergarten every year. However, we decided to hold him back one more year. We had him in preschool last year. And the first part of the school year (until after Winter break) was SOOOOO hard. Lots of days we dropped him off and he cried. Lots of days he said he didn't want to go to school. But, it was only for a couple hours 4 days a week, so we stuck with it. He also had really fantastic teachers who assured us every day that we picked him up that the tears lasted a couple minutes before he was off playing with his friends. He is in a pre-k class this year. And so far we have had NO days with any tears. We sign him in, hug him, kiss him, and leave. And he's cool with it. And he talks more this year about how his days have been than he did last year.

And really, when it comes down to it, holding our kids back IS NOT a bad thing. In fact, I have plenty of friends who have done the same thing, and are so glad they did.
Our research suggest otherwise for holding kids back. In fact, the US is one of the few countries in the world to encourage this.

The best educational systems in the world, do not encourage holding kids back whatsoever.

There is a fine line between school readiness and coddling, and this is our concern as parents and educators.

OP's child had been in school for a very short period of time, and so you can't discern what is really going in that short of a time frame.

Lots of kids are nervous and struggle with transition, as that is normal (excepting serious anxiety disorders or sensitivities), so pulling kids out the first week of school or holding kids back, really can cause more educational and emotional problems in the long run.

It is a foreign concept to us here in Canada and so it really does concern us when we continually read about how the US educational system allows parents to hold kids back at astounding rates. We encourage preschool programs as those also go a long way in helping kids transition to school (eg. daycare, private school, library, community centres, etc.).

I wish the OP and other parents luck during this all too important month of school transition.

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Old 09-10-2012, 02:07 AM   #57
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5 too early

Studies show that even if emotionally ready now, it will catch up with them in 2nd/3rd grade when work load and social issues get to be too much. MY DD went at 5 3/4 and held DS who's BD is August back till 6. He went to a 3 day a week pre school, instead. Problem is you don't want to think if you take her out now, she can be taken out next year. Either way, maybe you can meet some other moms and find her a playmate Sunday Afternoon, a friendly face always helps. Trust your Gut! Good Luck.
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Old 09-10-2012, 07:11 AM   #58
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I'm Canadian and really wish I had held back my youngest but we struggled through school that whole first year and it was awful. Never got better. There is not enough supervision in our school for the youngest-the days are way too long. I truly don't think it can make any difference in the long run. Kids are learning wherever they are. I have known of several people here in Ontario that have indeed held their children back for a year. Teachers will of course want kids in school always. Job protection.
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Old 09-10-2012, 01:02 PM   #59
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Quote:
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Our research suggest otherwise for holding kids back. In fact, the US is one of the few countries in the world to encourage this.

The best educational systems in the world, do not encourage holding kids back whatsoever.

There is a fine line between school readiness and coddling, and this is our concern as parents and educators.

OP's child had been in school for a very short period of time, and so you can't discern what is really going in that short of a time frame.

Lots of kids are nervous and struggle with transition, as that is normal (excepting serious anxiety disorders or sensitivities), so pulling kids out the first week of school or holding kids back, really can cause more educational and emotional problems in the long run.

It is a foreign concept to us here in Canada and so it really does concern us when we continually read about how the US educational system allows parents to hold kids back at astounding rates. We encourage preschool programs as those also go a long way in helping kids transition to school (eg. daycare, private school, library, community centres, etc.).

I wish the OP and other parents luck during this all too important month of school transition.

Tiger
I totally disagree with your posts. You are talking about sending kids to (junior)Kindergarten at 3?? They are still so young there. I dont understand what the rush is...just as you dont understand why parents feel the need to hold their kids back in the US. I have been blessed to be able to stay home with our 4 children. 2 of them went to preschool...2 didnt. There is no difference in the ones who went and didnt--academically that is. My oldest started K at 5 1/2, my next at 5 yr 2 mo, my next at 5 yr 9 mo. My youngest would have been 4 yr 9 mo. We kept her home for one more year.
She will get the exact same education that she would have gotten if she started this fall, she will just be a year older and more mature and ready to handle the situation. She will still have 13 years in the public school system before heading to college. I dont feel this is coddling at all. As a parent it is my right to decide if she is ready to go or not. I have spoken to too many parents who have been in my situation with a child with a late birthday. Many of them have had to hold their kids back in 2nd, 3rd, 4th grade because of issues that caught up to them at that point (from starting the children so early). These parents all regretted sending the kids early. I have not, on the other hand, spoken with any parent who opted to hold their child back a year that regretted their decision.
Children are only small for such a short time. I cant even imagine wanting to send mine out to school at 3 Guess I am very thankful right now that I live in the US instead of Canada
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Old 09-10-2012, 01:34 PM   #60
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I totally disagree with your posts. You are talking about sending kids to (junior)Kindergarten at 3?? They are still so young there. I dont understand what the rush is...just as you dont understand why parents feel the need to hold their kids back in the US. I have been blessed to be able to stay home with our 4 children. 2 of them went to preschool...2 didnt. There is no difference in the ones who went and didnt--academically that is. My oldest started K at 5 1/2, my next at 5 yr 2 mo, my next at 5 yr 9 mo. My youngest would have been 4 yr 9 mo. We kept her home for one more year.
She will get the exact same education that she would have gotten if she started this fall, she will just be a year older and more mature and ready to handle the situation. She will still have 13 years in the public school system before heading to college. I dont feel this is coddling at all. As a parent it is my right to decide if she is ready to go or not. I have spoken to too many parents who have been in my situation with a child with a late birthday. Many of them have had to hold their kids back in 2nd, 3rd, 4th grade because of issues that caught up to them at that point (from starting the children so early). These parents all regretted sending the kids early. I have not, on the other hand, spoken with any parent who opted to hold their child back a year that regretted their decision.
Children are only small for such a short time. I cant even imagine wanting to send mine out to school at 3 Guess I am very thankful right now that I live in the US instead of Canada
I live in the US and I disagree. I don't see school as a punishment. My kids all went/go to preschool and our next one will as well. The 3 I have now all started 3 hours a day at 18 months and, after the initial transition from home to school for the girls, all 3 loved it. My son never had a day he didn't love it. He went in his first day, waved to me, and that was that. Preschool, at any age, is fun. If it's not, then I would think they aren't running it correctly. The idea is to let them play with their peers, learn to be in a group, learn independence from mom, etc. My current youngest is 2.5yo and when she woke up this morning she asked me where we were going. When I said school she got a huge smile on her face and said "I can't wait!"

Even if we didn't send them for some reason (and financial would likely be the only one), I wouldn't see it as a "I can't imagine sending my 3yo off to school" like it's a horror.

And fwiw, my 2nd child's birthday is August 4th. School started this year on August 9th, 5 days after he turned 6yo. He is in first grade. Our cutoff is 8/31, but he might be the youngest one in his class. There is no discernible difference in his abilities and his class on the whole. I volunteered in his kindergarten class weekly last year and he was middle of the pack in reading and math. The "worst" reader was actually a 9/30/05 birthday, so 10 months older than my son. She was likely more mature than him overall, but didn't really matter academically. The only thing I think my son would gain from being with kids who are, on average, a year younger than him would be a reduction in his maturity level as he'd be hanging out with less mature, younger kids. By being the youngest in his class he has incentive to be like the older kids.
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