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Old 08-27-2012, 01:24 PM   #1
Albytaps
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We canceled our trip...

because of a very bad circumstance.

We recently went on a trip to FL, starting at the beach in Sarasota and was supposed to end with a trip to WDW. We were to stay at Kidani Village and then to Bay Lake Tower for a few days.

At the last minute before leaving on our trip, my mom had asked if she could come to Sarasota. I told her of course, so she made her plans. During our stay, my family and I went out alot, but my mom chose to stay at the condo. During one of our trips out (to the zoo) when we came back, we found my mom laying face down with a puddle of blood around her head. My wife went to comfort her while I called 911.

She was concious, and the EMT's came and took her to the nearest hospital.

After the doctor saw her and took a catscan, he very easily told me that she had huge brain tumors and wasn't going to last very long. I couldn't believe it....

Long story short, it's been almost a week now since her seizure (that's what the doctors think happened) and we're back in NJ about to go to her doctor. I haven't and don't want to tell her what is going on. The second doctor I spoke to in Sarasota said it would be months that she would survive. If it is the case that there's nothing we can do, I can't tell her. It's just not fair and rather her live the rest of her life in peace.

Thanks for hearing me out.
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Old 08-27-2012, 01:28 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Albytaps View Post
because of a very bad circumstance.

We recently went on a trip to FL, starting at the beach in Sarasota and was supposed to end with a trip to WDW. We were to stay at Kidani Village and then to Bay Lake Tower for a few days.

At the last minute before leaving on our trip, my mom had asked if she could come to Sarasota. I told her of course, so she made her plans. During our stay, my family and I went out alot, but my mom chose to stay at the condo. During one of our trips out (to the zoo) when we came back, we found my mom laying face down with a puddle of blood around her head. My wife went to comfort her while I called 911.

She was concious, and the EMT's came and took her to the nearest hospital.

After the doctor saw her and took a catscan, he very easily told me that she had huge brain tumors and wasn't going to last very long. I couldn't believe it....

Long story short, it's been almost a week now since her seizure (that's what the doctors think happened) and we're back in NJ about to go to her doctor. I haven't and don't want to tell her what is going on. The second doctor I spoke to in Sarasota said it would be months that she would survive. If it is the case that there's nothing we can do, I can't tell her. It's just not fair and rather her live the rest of her life in peace.

Thanks for hearing me out.
How very sad. I am so sorry. I know it would be a hard thing to tell her, but I would reconsider. There may be things she wants to say, NEEDS to say before she is gone. I will pray for her and your family. God bless.
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Old 08-27-2012, 02:13 PM   #3
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As I read your post, my heart broke for you. I am so sorry that you, your mother and your family are suffering. You are all in my prayers. You know your mom best. Is she the type of person who, if she knew how long she had, would want to live those last months to the fullest, seeing family she hadn't seen, doing things from her bucket list, telling everyone what she wanted them to know? Or would she shut down? Everyone is different. Try to find out what she needs, what she would want.

While you are going through this awful time, please know that there are people out here lifting you up.
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Old 08-27-2012, 10:44 PM   #4
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Prayers for you and your family. Wish I would have seen this before I went to Church tonight for the Novena Mass. Prayers also for the Doctors and Nurses who will attend to your Mom
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Old 08-28-2012, 07:49 AM   #5
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I am oh so very very sorry...
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:12 AM   #6
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This is so sad! I agree with the poster that said you may want to reconsider telling her. Especially if you feel like you or her may have something you want or need to say to each other. Sometimes those conversations can give great peace!
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:16 AM   #7
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{{hugs}} I am so sorry to read about your mother. My thoughts go out to you and your family.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:27 AM   #8
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sorry to hear about your Mother. Sending prayers & up lifting thought for your family
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:05 PM   #9
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No advice, just
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:18 PM   #10
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Your mom and you and your family will be in my prayers. Would you consider having the doctor talk to your mom about her prognosis? If she is alert mentally, it would be best to provide her the details. Perhaps you could make arrangements for Hospice to come in as well...
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Old 08-28-2012, 07:45 PM   #11
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Thank you all! Trust me, this is the hardest thing I have ever done... but it seems like not telling her was an easy decision. I think she would break down. My aunts and uncles agree and are backing me up about it. On the other hand, my mother-in-law said she would want to know. It's still in the back of my mind that it's the right decision not to tell, but sometimes I do think about reconsidering. It is very hard.... and sad. Thank you all for the support. Reading these comments has made me feel a little better.

PS
After her Dr's visit, rather than months it is weeks....
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Old 08-28-2012, 08:15 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Albytaps View Post
Thank you all! Trust me, this is the hardest thing I have ever done... but it seems like not telling her was an easy decision. I think she would break down. My aunts and uncles agree and are backing me up about it. On the other hand, my mother-in-law said she would want to know. It's still in the back of my mind that it's the right decision not to tell, but sometimes I do think about reconsidering. It is very hard.... and sad. Thank you all for the support. Reading these comments has made me feel a little better.

PS
After her Dr's visit, rather than months it is weeks....
So sorry to hear that time is moving faster for her than you had originally thought. I fully understand your reasons behind keeping quiet. I will share something with you that may or may not change your mind, but perhaps give you some additional perspective...

My youngest brother suffered from diabetes his entire life. Despite several procedures to try to delay the inevitable, he became 100% blind and in need of a kidney transplant. On his birthday, Jan. 3, 2010, I called him to wish him a happy birthday. He joked that my parents got him a bunch of stuff he couldn't see. Even with everything he was going through, he kept his sense of humor. He was about a month away from getting his transplant, and on Jan. 16, just 13 short days after we were laughing on the phone, I received a call from my dad that my brother passed away suddenly in his sleep. We could not believe it. There were so many things I would have loved to have told him, but never got the chance. It is something I have to live with the rest of my life.

I share all this to beg of you that even if you don't let your mom know that the end is coming, please make sure that you (and your family members) say everything you need to say to her while she is still with you. You do not want to look back on this time with any regrets or lost moments. I will continue to pray for your mom and peace for your family. God bless.
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Old 08-28-2012, 08:21 PM   #13
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during this difficult time.
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:13 PM   #14
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I'm so sorry to read this... I am sending hugs and prayers for your family.
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Old 08-31-2012, 11:13 AM   #15
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I'm so sorry to read this, thinking about losing a parent is heartbreaking to deal with.

My Mom was diagnosed with end-stage cancer in 2009, and I'm lucky that she is still here fighting and outliving her initial prognosis. Please make sure you and your family say everything you need to say, as others have mentioned, it's important to feel like you have said what you needed to, and that she knows how loved she is.

Also, have you checked into Hospice care? They can be an amazing help dealing with end-of-life issues if that's what it's now come to. So sorry for you and your family, sending from NC.

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