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Old 08-02-2012, 08:38 AM   #76
MEK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
6:20 a.m., Saturday, July 14. Traffic was smooth until we passed through Annapolis, Maryland. We could see a gathering rain storm in the distance that basically produced a curtain of water on the highway. We hit that and traffic slowed to a crawl. Naturally, this was when Scotty needed to go to the bathroom.
Of course he did!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]The section in Maryland is a pain to drive, because it’s a constant stop-start drive through a sea of traffic lights (and red-light cameras). I only bring this up because it is, of course, in sharp contrast to the amazingly efficient highway system we have here in Delaware.
For all of you who might be fooled into believing this, DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]Anyway, we chose to drive on U.S. 301 on the theory that it’s better to at least keep moving than risk being stuck on the Beltway. Despite the traffic lights, it worked pretty well, and we were driving over the Nice Bridge into Virginia by mid-morning. No, really, that’s its name: the Harry W. Nice Bridge.
I love the 301 route and by the time you make it to this bridge its pretty much free sailing. Thanks for enlightening me with the name. To me it was always "bridge with toll".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]The kids were having a little trouble following the maps, but once they figured out where U.S. 301 was, they deduced that we were indeed in the United States. So they had that going for them, which was nice.
Awesome!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]We made it to North Carolina by lunchtime. We stopped in Roanoke Rapids for lunch at a pre-controversy Chick-Fil-A which was packed with people, but the line moved well enough that our food was ready soon enough. Then an old lady grabbed our tray when my name was called. I set out across the restaurant, wondering if I’d have to break off my John Brown boot in her hindquarters to get my food. I tracked her down and eventually emerged victorious with the precious meals. I certainly hope she eventually got something to eat.
You made great time to NC! Can't believe you had to chase granny down for your food. DOH!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]South of the Border. Named due to its location just south of the NC/SC border line, we started seeing the famous billboards once we hit North Carolina. And if you've never heard of the famous billboards, here's a brief rundown: they're everywhere. They're gaudy. And they're usually full of terrible puns. In short, Barry would love them. Here's an example:

Woo Hoo! You made it!!!!!!!!!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]You too can celebrate your nation’s freedom by blowing up a small piece of it.



Ok, show of hands: how many of you looked at that picture and immediately thought of Muppet Vision 3D?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]We stopped for some more pictures. Anytime you get the chance to ride a concrete jackalope or a dinosaur with a sombrero, you gotta do it.

Make fun of SOTB all you want, but these pictures are just darn cute!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]Lest you think South of the Border is completely nasty, they do have their highbrow sections as well. See, this place has its own “tradition in fine dining”. That’s got to be a nice place.

I am so taking Denny here when we go to Hilton Head next spring!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]South of the Border…we stopped here so you don’t have to.

Coming Up Next: Are we there yet?
Great update! And even better - I can see your pictures! Woo Hoo!
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Old 08-02-2012, 08:39 AM   #77
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Traffic around Washington DC. Ick. When we drove down, my Mom hid her face in her pillow all through that area.


Love the pictures of South of the Border. I was thinking of having us stop there on our next trip down. I love seeing all of the billboards for South of the Border. Much better than the "other" billboards on that stretch of road...


After seeing this one, my then-9-year-old said (very seriously) -- Why on Earth would anyone want to look at b**bs while they were eating?

We near-'bout died laughing at that one.
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Old 08-02-2012, 08:39 AM   #78
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I followed you over from Glenn's trip report.

Gotta go back and read now.
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Old 08-02-2012, 08:51 AM   #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Well, we did tell them we were most likely not driving directly east.
Well, that should have been pretty obvious. That would be the worlds shortest vacation drive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Of course, the bag included maps of New England states, Montana, and even Hawaii, so I’m not sure it was all that helpful.
If you could drive to Hawaii, I'd be impressed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
I only bring this up because it is, of course, in sharp contrast to the amazingly efficient highway system we have here in Delaware.
Easy there. Any highway system is efficient when nobody uses it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Then an old lady grabbed our tray when my name was called. I set out across the restaurant, wondering if I’d have to break off my John Brown boot in her hindquarters to get my food. I tracked her down and eventually emerged victorious with the precious meals. I certainly hope she eventually got something to eat.
I called the restroom attendant the lie, but this could also potentially be one. If not that's an odd, funny story.

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Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Every time we go by, the parking lot looks empty, and I wonder how the place can stay in business wallowing in its eternal crappiness. And yet somehow, it survives.
So in other words, it's kind of like a cockroach?

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Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
We stopped for some more pictures. Anytime you get the chance to ride a concrete jackalope or a dinosaur with a sombrero, you gotta do it.
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:13 AM   #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious
Well, we did tell them we were most likely not driving directly east.
I call lie on this I don't think you gave them any help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
We made it to North Carolina by lunchtime. We stopped in Roanoke Rapids for lunch at a pre-controversy Chick-Fil-A which was packed with people, but the line moved well enough that our food was ready soon enough. Then an old lady grabbed our tray when my name was called. I set out across the restaurant, wondering if I’d have to break off my John Brown boot in her hindquarters to get my food. I tracked her down and eventually emerged victorious with the precious meals. I certainly hope she eventually got something to eat.
Just wondering if you made her run a mile. Most of the movie quotes so this was the only one I think wasn't pointed out from Remember the Titans

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

South of the Border. Named due to its location just south of the NC/SC border line, we started seeing the famous billboards once we hit North Carolina. And if you've never heard of the famous billboards, here's a brief rundown: they're everywhere. They're gaudy. And they're usually full of terrible puns. In short, Barry would love them. Here's an example:



I’ve driven past this tourist trap several times in my life, and never once had the guts to stop. Every time we go by, the parking lot looks empty, and I wonder how the place can stay in business wallowing in its eternal crappiness. And yet somehow, it survives.
I don't know how any road trip would be complete without stopping at a place like this. This is the type of thing childhood memories should be made of.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious
In any case, Julie and I decided that in the interests of detailed, informative Trip Reporting, your intrepid travelers would finally stop and experience the spectacular awfulness that is South of the Border. Mostly because we couldn’t convince anyone else to do it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious
South of the Border…we stopped here so you don’t have to.

Coming Up Next: Are we there yet?
Way to take one for the team
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Old 08-02-2012, 01:37 PM   #81
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I like the name of your TR! So fuN!
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Old 08-02-2012, 02:25 PM   #82
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
[FONT="Courier New"]

Traffic was smooth until we passed through Annapolis, Maryland. We could see a gathering rain storm in the distance that basically produced a curtain of water on the highway. We hit that and traffic slowed to a crawl. Naturally, this was when Scotty needed to go to the bathroom.

Typical boy!

Any East Coast resident will tell you that there is no easy way to drive around Washington, D.C. I-95 becomes part of the Washington Beltway, which is infamous for being as gridlocked as…well, every government institution inside the Beltway. It can also be jammed south of D.C. all the way to Fredericksburg, VA. If you’re trying to head south, you either attempt to brave the Beltway, drive directly through the city, or attempt an end-around by taking U.S. 301. 301 turns south at Bowie, MD, runs through the town of Waldorf, and then crosses the Potomac River into Virginia, where it eventually joins back up with I-95 north of Richmond. The section in Maryland is a pain to drive, because it’s a constant stop-start drive through a sea of traffic lights (and red-light cameras). I only bring this up because it is, of course, in sharp contrast to the amazingly efficient highway system we have here in Delaware.

I went to Washington, D.C. shortly after I bought my first car at the age of 17; my GF and I drove there from Chicago for a little under a week. New driver, horrible traffic. NOT a good combination!

We made it to North Carolina by lunchtime. We stopped in Roanoke Rapids for lunch at a pre-controversy Chick-Fil-A which was packed with people, but the line moved well enough that our food was ready soon enough. Then an old lady grabbed our tray when my name was called. I set out across the restaurant, wondering if I’d have to break off my John Brown boot in her hindquarters to get my food. I tracked her down and eventually emerged victorious with the precious meals. I certainly hope she eventually got something to eat.

Sure it wasn't Barry in disguise grabbing your tray? I LOVE Chick-Fil-A!!!!

Back on the road, we blasted our way through North Carolina, with the kids content to play DS or watch movies. I have to get them credit—they travel really well. As we counted off the miles, we got closer and closer to our goal, and if you recall from the intro, you know what I’m talking about. The pinnacle of American road trips…the tourist mecca that beckons us to make our pilgrimage…the place that captivates our dreams throughout the year until we can finally return…that dream within a dream...



South of the Border. Named due to its location just south of the NC/SC border line, we started seeing the famous billboards once we hit North Carolina. And if you've never heard of the famous billboards, here's a brief rundown: they're everywhere. They're gaudy. And they're usually full of terrible puns. In short, Barry would love them. Here's an example:



Barry probably wrote them and that's how he affords all his Disney trips.

We went straight for the fireworks shop. No, I don't know why they're flying a Canadian flag.





Yes, that package says, “Maximum Powder allowed by law.”



You too can celebrate your nation’s freedom by blowing up a small piece of it.



Ok, show of hands: how many of you looked at that picture and immediately thought of Muppet Vision 3D?

Ummmm.....

We stopped for some more pictures. Anytime you get the chance to ride a concrete jackalope or a dinosaur with a sombrero, you gotta do it.



My lifelong dream.

We also made a pit stop. The only way to describe South of the Border’s bathrooms: Do NOT go in there! I did think it was a nice touch that they had an attendant with a tip basket by the door. Every once in a while he would get up and run a paper towel over a square inch of the sink.

Really? Just once square inch of the sink?

Lest you think South of the Border is completely nasty, they do have their highbrow sections as well. See, this place has its own “tradition in fine dining”. That’s got to be a nice place.





Um…never mind. Get in the car, kids.

Smart move!

South of the Border…we stopped here so you don’t have to.

Coming Up Next: Are we there yet?
Thank you for stopping for us...I think I'll skip it if we ever drive that way again.
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Old 08-02-2012, 02:46 PM   #83
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Ok I'm all caught up now and ready for more.

Very entertaining, you're a great story teller. We took our youngest on a surprise trip on 2010 and still says it was her favorite trip.
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Old 08-02-2012, 02:54 PM   #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Well, we did tell them we were most likely not driving directly east.
So… your van isn’t also a submersible?
What kind of imposable mission starts off without using it’s high tech gadgetry?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Of course, the bag included maps of New England states, Montana, and even Hawaii, so I’m not sure it was all that helpful.
This idea I just love.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Any East Coast resident will tell you that there is no easy way to drive around Washington, D.C.

At least not without avoiding it completely.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
I only bring this up because it is, of course, in sharp contrast to the amazingly efficient highway system we have here in Delaware.
To quote the mighty and all knowing DisneyFed:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Anyway, we chose to drive on U.S. 301 on the theory that it’s better to at least keep moving than risk being stuck on the Beltway.
It’s better to keep moving then sit on any gridlocked road.
I’ll go out of my way just not to be frustrated.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
The kids were having a little trouble following the maps, but once they figured out where U.S. 301 was, they deduced that we were indeed in the United States.
Are you sure about that?
If you wanted to teach history along with orientation skills, then by this point y’all have done left the US and are indeed strangers in a strange land.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
So they had that going for them, which was nice.
I missed where this update got posted so I’m neigh on to certain that all of the movie quotes have be identified by now.

I’ll have to watch for update more closely.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
The pinnacle of American road trips…the tourist mecca that beckons us to make our pilgrimage…the place that captivates our dreams throughout the year until we can finally return…that dream within a dream...

South of the Border.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
And if you've never heard of the famous billboards, here's a brief rundown: they're everywhere. They're gaudy. And they're usually full of terrible puns.
“Our Honeymoon Suites are Heir Conditioned!”

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
In short, Barry would love them.
Goes with out saying.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
In any case, Julie and I decided that in the interests of detailed, informative Trip Reporting, your intrepid travelers would finally stop and experience the spectacular awfulness that is South of the Border. Mostly because we couldn’t convince anyone else to do it.
Well… since y’all sucked it up and actually stopped at SOB, I may have to suck it up and stop at “Sparky’s” the next time I go down to the coast.
In the interests of detailed, informative Trip Reporting of course. It’ not as big, but it has to be just as bad.

I’ll post pictures if I actually do that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
The famous sombrero tower. I had a friend who went up in this when he was young. He excitedly asked the teen running the elevator what he could see from the top. “Nothing,” the teen replied.
Not true. You get a fifty mile view of the SC Sand Hills. I suspect that from that vantage point you can clearly see the spot where the USAF actually dropped a nuclear device on the State of South Carolina. Luckily the “package” was disabled, but the ignition charge most certainly did its job.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
We went straight for the fireworks shop.
Which clearly marked you as not being form SC.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
No, I don't know why they're flying a Canadian flag.
It’s a trap!




And a surprisingly effective on too.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Yes, that package says, “Maximum Powder allowed by law.”
More then a nuclear device?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
You too can celebrate your nation’s freedom by blowing up a small piece of it.
That’s what the USAF was trying to do…
Haven’t you been listening?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Ok, show of hands: how many of you looked at that picture and immediately thought of Muppet Vision 3D?
“It's called "A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America.
…It's a glorious three-hour finale!”



“You got a minute and a half. “




Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
Anytime you get the chance to ride a concrete jackalope or a dinosaur with a sombrero, you gotta do it.
Unsalable logic right there.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
See, this place has its own “tradition in fine dining”. That’s got to be a nice place.
It’s the traffic gates at the entrance there vainly attempting to stem the tide of ravenous carnivores that best illustrates the divinity of this fine eating establishment.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
South of the Border…we stopped here so you don’t have to.
And I appreciate that fact.



No… really! I do.
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Old 08-02-2012, 07:16 PM   #85
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I think I found the lie.
This wasn't intended as the lie, but I may have stretched the truth slightly. The judges have ruled that this counts as a lie.

+1

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Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
Caddyshack
+1

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
Spaceballs.
+1

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Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
Go for the billboards, skip the destination. Got it.
Pretty much.

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Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
Hey Steve! I got a mention already!
Hey look! So did Steve!

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Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
Something tells me Julie had nothing to do with this decision...
Well, I was driving the van. So she was as helpless as the kids in that sense.

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Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
More Fireworks than a Dave? I'M IN!
Good thing we didn't stop at Taco Bell for lunch. Dave could have been extra explosive.

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Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
Simpsons
+1

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
No, I thought of the Simpsons. I said so right up there. ^^
Oh, sorry. I suffer from short-term memory loss. It runs in my family. At least, I think it does...where are they?

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Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
Words to live by. Tombstone material, perhaps?
My favorite epitaph suggestion comes from Dan Jenkins, writer for Golf Digest: "I knew this would happen."

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Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
But I'll bet it was a very clean square inch.
Well, relatively speaking.

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Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
So did the Donner Party.
*shudder*

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Hello!

I was browsing through the TR's section of the DIS and your TR title just stood out! This game you play is really thoughtful!
I'm glad you're here! And don't kid yourself, I really don't put that much thought into it.

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Here's my first guess...

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
+1
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Old 08-02-2012, 07:32 PM   #86
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Originally Posted by glennbo123 View Post
Crap, I'm too late for most of 'em. (Thanks for posting during work hours!)
This never happens to me in the Judy game.

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Originally Posted by glennbo123 View Post
The first one above is from the Scrubbing Bubbles commercial.


Quote:
Originally Posted by glennbo123 View Post
The second one (next chapter title) is from the movie, um, "Are we there yet?"
Boy, you're working hard, aren't you? I can't remember if I counted actual movie titles in place of quotes the last time around.

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Originally Posted by glennbo123 View Post
I use that "You never sausage a place" line around the house as much as I can. Another one I like is "Don't forget the little Juan's".
My favorite was Pedro's weather forecast: Chili today, hot tamale!

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Originally Posted by afwdwfan View Post
I'll come back to comment on everything later since multiple quotes are a little difficult with the phone app. I'm calling this for a lie though.
Sorry. There was indeed a restroom attendant hoping for tips.

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Knowitall View Post
Winner of "Spot the Lie" get a piece of Key Lime Pie of Awesomeness mailed to them in an envelope!*


*If you're the winner, please send us a SASE and allow 10 weeks for delivery.
Refrigeration and hard-sided packaging not necessarily guaranteed.

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Thanks!!! I'm really looking forward to it! (We'll see how I feel about it in a couple weeks!)
You'll be awesome!

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Captain Poopy-pants - your alter-ego.
Now that's just not nice. Funny, but not nice.

-1

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HINT: THIS IS NOT THE LIE.
You're killing me. Who invited you here, anyway?

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Knowitall View Post
No, I thought of the Simpsons.
Honey, I don't want to alarm you, but you're thinking like Barry.

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Knowitall View Post
HINT: THIS IS NOT A LIE!!!!!!! AVOID THEM AT ALL COST!!!! (And I'm generally not a very picky person.....)


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Originally Posted by Mrs. Knowitall View Post
It was morbid curiosity, Barry.
There's an epitaph for you.

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Knowitall View Post
Great minds.


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Originally Posted by reelmom View Post
Joining in for the fun. Great start.
and thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlutosRHM55 View Post
Oh my gosh, the traffic near DC is absolutely awful. I swear people who are all over the bad traffic in NYC have obviously not driven in the lower East coast. It is just awful and plus rain, good thing you guys made it out fairly quickly and without cranky children. I would've been so anxious. Your kids really do deal with travel better than I ever did at their age.
They have parents who love travel, so we've been hoping it's infectious. But I am thankful for DVD players.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlutosRHM55 View Post
Oh my gosh, that is one bad, big tourist trap. I always thought they may have gotten more... classy. I stand corrected then. I absolutely love the Sombrero tower though makes me laugh they have an elevator to go up in. Thank god I may not ever go there. Good thing you guys were only there for a bathroom break, you guys were smart about that. I thank you for showing me a place I will never let my curiosity bring me to.

Can't wait to read more!
I don't think "classy" is ever a word I'd use to describe it. But I figure now we can badmouth it with authority.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CopperWife View Post
Not gonna lie......I would have to stop for the puns alone.
Well, that certainly drew our attention to the place!
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Old 08-02-2012, 07:37 PM   #87
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Don't underestimate your audience. I'm sure there's a fart joke in here somewhere
 
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 8,115

Quote:
Originally Posted by vdub322 View Post
I didn't see anyone else say this yet, but Remember the Titans!
+1

Good catch! That was more obscure than the others.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vdub322 View Post
I love your trip reports, by the way, so I'm coming out of lurker status! Can't wait to read more!
and thanks for de-lurking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by dellasgirl View Post
Reading along also.

About South of the border we have passed by there on everyone of our trips to the mouse and only once stopped--never again
but i do love the billboards it lets me know i am almost 1/2 way.
Nell
Nell!

I agree. Once was definitely enough!

Quote:
Originally Posted by declansdad View Post
Even Canadian (well at least East Coast Canadians) know about South of the Border. We even see the bumper stickers around here. That is probably why they fly the Canadian flag.
I'm sure they're happy to attract anyone they can.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chloe770 View Post
We have taken this trip before and I have to say your description of both the traffic around DC and of South of the Border is pretty dead on.
Whew! I'm glad the whole chapter wasn't a lie.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatMark View Post
Oh my...I love it Julie.




Quote:
Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
10 weeks? You're being very optimistic about the Delaware Postal Service.
Good point. Check back in 6 months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki View Post
I quoted both of those together because it seems our minds have more in common that just greatness.
This is getting scary.
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Old 08-02-2012, 07:51 PM   #88
vdub322
Are we there yet?
 
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Location: State College, Pennsylvania
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious View Post
+1

Good catch! That was more obscure than the others.



and thanks for de-lurking!
Thanks! Remember the Titans is one of my favorites!
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Old 08-02-2012, 09:11 PM   #89
ljcrochet
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great report so far. Can't wait to hear about the rest.
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Old 08-03-2012, 01:03 AM   #90
ShortStuff
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Amazing that you braved SOTB for us, so we don't have to!! : Much appreciated!
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