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Old 10-28-2012, 11:22 PM   #271
kaoden39
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Originally Posted by bumbershoot View Post
Knowing what I know about SIL, this is what we can expect from her. They had a rocky relationship and SIL has had a rocky life, and right now she is knee deep in bettering herself and raising her daughters. She's also nearly 3 hours' drive away. With what I know about her, this is fine. I understand.

I also remember that when my mom was diagnosed with leukemia, I was never able to get out to see her. I had a new job with absolutely no time off accrued yet, I had no money to actually get there, and my mom was really weak with chemo. Once she was on a break from chemo, I got the nasty horrible flu, so bad I truly thought I'd seen the last of the world as I went to bed 12/31/99. I was incredibly surprised when I woke up in 2000, because I had been so sick. So I had to recuperate, then she was back in chemo, then I caught a cold, and back and forth. Finally we had it planned for me to fly out, and then she died.

It still gets to me sometimes, that I didn't quit my job and just move back home, but that didn't feel like an option then. So if anyone needs to cut her some slack, especially given her past, it's me.

And she has been really sweet to me, thanking me at every turn, even in "public" on FB.


The ex has GOT to go. I hope that BIL can figure that out soon.

I understand that there are reasons I just think it is unfair that you are stuck in this position. I am sorry about your mom, that is hard. You honestly couldn't take the cold or flu to your mom. She wouldn't have been able to fight it.


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Oh, I should have said that there were NO spices whatsoever, not even salt, in the brown rice with peas and carrots. It's not *Mexican* anymore for the kids. It's like British food now, LOL. But without any butter, even. Because that would be unhealthy, of course.

And when you look on the menuboard, you don't know, because it doesn't say whole wheat or bland rice...it just says burrito, and it says "rice", which I don't remember if it's a difference or not.
I don't understand that. Kids deserve food that tastes good. Plus honestly it is not up top Disney to police what kids eat, its up top the parents.
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Old 10-28-2012, 11:51 PM   #272
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We woke up and finished packing. We did the unthinkable, and stashed our bags in the trunk of the car. Shocking, I know!

We decided to try out Steakhouse 55, as I'd heard they had good non-steak options for breakfast.


Robert and I both had their version of Huevos Rancheros.




Eamon had pancakes, and they had REAL maple syrup, which was very exciting for us.




I liked this little area.






Looking out over the lounge area from inside.




A design on the wall outside the bathrooms up near Steakhouse 55.





Also during the previous evening E and I did some shopping, still searching for that "pew pew" shirt that I couldn't find. I can't remember what all we bought apart from a purse:



By the time I got home on the evening of the 8th (remembering I bought this purse on the 7th), it had already started to break. I called on the 10th and got an RMA, which I promptly lost and then got involved with the MIL-care, and I have to call them again.


Monday the 8th was Columbus Day. I had NO interest in being in the parks that day. Alas, the musket we had bought E was broken, and I had to find a new one. I hoped this could be taken care of at World of Disney, while E and R swam, and I could meet them soon.

This wish was not fulfilled. It required a LOT of walking around, and a lot of waiting as a WOD CM called every store in the parks he could think of to find the musket. Finally he found it after calling Pieces of Eight. So off I went into the parks.

Columbus Day. Wall of people at bag check. UGH. I got in line and waited. Waited behind a group of people with no bags, who waited, as there's no no-bag line. Got up towards the front. A lady walked up as though she was peering through to the esplanade, like she was looking to see if there was someone waiting for her. Kept inching forward, peering, peering, peering. Then just sort of slipped in front of me and zipped through (she had no bag). I was sarcastically laughing (and mad at myself b/c I didn't say anything) and told the CM "that lady just cut the entire line", and the CM didn't care. Which made my hot, not wanting to deal with fellow humans, self even more annoyed.

Waited in wall of humans line to get into Disneyland, walked through moving walls of humans to get back to Pieces of Eight.

"Hi, I was just talking with x CM at WOD, and he called you guys and talked with y CM, and she said that you guys had these muskets".

Looks of sheer disbelief.

"Oh we've been out of those for months."

"Yes, I was surprised, too, when he said that she said you had them, but that's what she told him."

"Oh hon, we've been out of those for months."

"OK, but x talked to y, and"

"Who is y?"

"She answered the phone when x called here."

"Who is x? I don't understand."

"Oh, OK. I was just talking with x CM at WOD, and he called you guys and talked with y CM, and she said that you guys had these muskets."

"We've been out of those for months."

"Yes, I never saw them here, not in July or this trip. But y, the CM that answered the phone when x called, said you had a bunch of them."


"He called here? What number?"

"I don't know what number, he got the number from the little yellow booklets you all have."

"Booklets?"

"Yes, the yellow booklets like the one in your pocket there?" pointing to her pocket...

"Oh these. Well hon, there are 4 numbers here, what number did he call?"

Blinking....

"I don't know. He looked at it, called a number, indicated to me that he was talking to Pieces of Eight, and they said..."

FINALLY a supervisor walked by and we all grabbed for her, LOL.

"I was just talking with x CM at WOD, and he called you guys and talked with y CM, and she said that you guys had these muskets."

"Oh, y? She's at Pirate's League. They must have transferred x to her over there. Let me walk you over."

Walks me over...

"Hi, are you the y that x just talked to about the"

"Oh the muskets! Yes, they are right over there, we're hiding them from everyone."

(by the way, the PL people all talk in British, piratey, accents and are FABULOUS fun.)

"Thank you thank you thank you."

Meanwhile, the CM is staring down the barrel of the broken musket, pulling the trigger repeatedly and saying "yep, it's broken!"

"So what's the exchange process?"

"Here's the musket!"

"That's it? Thank you!"


I stopped in at Pieces of Eight to say something to them, which was basically a "they helped me, you people are nuts" moment in a terse voice, then I took off, through the walls of people going the opposite direction as me. Then stopped in at WOD to let the CM know that he had been transferred, and that the PL people had them and that they were delightful. He appreciated my follow-up, and said that he would keep that info for his most special guests.


Finally got back to the pool, where I found that the guys were done with swimming, but I still had time. So I changed and swam for awhile, did some laps (hard to do at the DLH pool!). Got out, got a little sun, the guys ate something, got me an iced latte...


In case people ask "do they have life jackets at the pool?" I have a visual:



Pictures of that day at the pool...






Someone was using OUR cabana, which we felt to be quite cheeky. Doesn't DLH know it's OURS?


Changed back, gathered things together... Shopped a bit at the giftshop, mainly for those chocolate coins because we LOVE them and have proven ourselves to be quite good at portioning them out over the months...

Then headed on off to the airport massively early because Robert couldn't believe me that SNA was *that* close and that the rental car return was *that* easy and close at that airport. So we sat outside security for nearly an hour, drinking all the waters we had, rearranging bags, etc, until we checked the bags, then sat drinking more water and chatting, then finally went through to wait another nearly 2 hours... (did I mention *massively* early?)

Had our flights, my purse broke, got home, it was all good.



Then we had a week before the new set of "storms" hit poor MIL!

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Old 10-29-2012, 12:06 AM   #273
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I understand that there are reasons I just think it is unfair that you are stuck in this position. I am sorry about your mom, that is hard. You honestly couldn't take the cold or flu to your mom. She wouldn't have been able to fight it.




I don't understand that. Kids deserve food that tastes good. Plus honestly it is not up top Disney to police what kids eat, its up top the parents.

Yep, you totally get what I'm saying, and the reality of my mom's situation, and how I feel about the kid's meal changes!



My aunt was the caregiver for my grandma for over a decade. While my grandma stopped speaking relatively early on in her Alzheimers journey, and therefore didn't complain, my aunt tells me that "dementia" (which is a horrid word even though it isn't meant in a horrid way when doctors use it) can cause lots of hurt feelings IF the caregivers let themselves stay sensitive. She wants more involvement of the actual kids, too, but also counsels me to not get my feelings hurt. It's not HER, it's the memory loss. If she hadn't had that last stroke we would be right where we were before; nothing has changed but her brain, and it's not her fault.

Once my grandma went into the nursing home (she had a reverse mortgage, and so when she fell down her stairs and broke her hip, it kicked in once she was at the rehab nursing home for a certain period of time (but they knew she was never leaving even if she didn't have the reverse mortgage)), my aunt got to meet a lot of people in harder situations than she had. One of my grandma's roommates had extreme memory loss and was very vocal, and Every Single Day would yell at her daughter, who visited Every Single Day, that she NEVER visited, she was all alone, and that she was a hateful daughter for leaving her in such a place. Meanwhile, the daughter washed her clothes, brought her homemade goodies, did everything the nursing home didn't do, and visited her ALL the time, but her mom didn't remember, and screamed at her about it.

According to my aunt, this is common. My grandma was uncommon because she stopped talking so early. However, when she was still in her home, she would try to push my aunt down the stairs! She was angry at what was happening, and took it out on the one person that was taking care of her the most. So...it happens.

I just have to put my Teflon suit on and not let it get to me. And not talk to BIL's friend anymore.
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Old 10-29-2012, 09:32 PM   #274
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We've done the luggage in the car thing. Boy we're both such rebels!!


I would be very upset about the purse, those things are outrageous! Okay the musket debacle. Seriously? There were some really good CMs there and then there were the not real good ones.


The pool seems so nice and relaxing way to spend sometime. I love to sit and read by the pool, not much for swimming.



I agree about the teflon suit and definitely stay away from BILs ex. I think that he needs to take a long walk off of a short pier as my dad would have said.
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Old 10-29-2012, 10:39 PM   #275
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I liked your whole post.



Had a really good conversation with the Home Health social worker today; she called to see if she should come out and assess MIL. We talked about things for quite awhile, and it was really good. I got a much better understanding of Medicaid, etc; I still don't totally understand it all, but I'm not in despair anymore, because I realize that it's not a lost cause to get her to qualify for it in case she has to go to AL.


For a bit of time there we were secretly comparing her actions and reactions to a toddler. Today Robert flat out told her that she's like a teenager, and she *has to* let us know what her plans are. Why? Because she had a home health nurse visit this morning (they called last night and I didn't have time to tell her until early this morning), then the PT called to go out and assess her. Robert was going up, and as soon as he could get a moment after her nurse visit, he called to let her know about the PT's impending visit. He was on his way up there after he called (so he was sitting in the car as he called), and he couldn't get ahold of her. Finally she answered her cell, and it turned out she had gone out with a friend, and was getting a perm at that moment. So she missed the PT's visit entirely.*

OK let's calm down over the concept of a perm at a salon, when she continues to borrow money from us (because while that rankles, I don't want her to live a miserable life of not feeling pretty), and realize that she disappeared. She's being a naughty teenager, LOL. Getting friends to drive her places, not answering phones, not telling us plans...

And refusing to listen to me anymore, when right before this she was feeling OK with our relationship.

To make this all funny makes it better for our mental well-being.



*The PT's visit was sort of last minute, but that is how these things are done. Being on Home Health is because you are homebound, and you should be there. BUT they allow for doctor appts, church, and hair appointments...so she took advantage of that. But she's still supposed to be available, or let us know so we can tell them that she isn't going to be there!

She doesn't get the phone calls herself because she hangs up on people speaking English on the phone. So we *have to* be the ones fielding these calls. She just barely told us about one office calling because Robert questioned her, and only in that way did we remember she has a neurologist appt tomorrow (they somehow missed the concept that they are supposed to be calling me). The robocalls are the worst, and this office has such a service. She instantly hangs up on auto-calls, doesn't even give herself a chance to understand, and it was only because she got the initials of the place right that we figured it out.

Last edited by bumbershoot; 10-29-2012 at 10:46 PM.
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Old 10-29-2012, 11:05 PM   #276
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As the mom of teenagers you have my sympathy for sure. She is acting like one and I am sure she was giggling about doing it.


I am so glad that you finally got a chance to talk to someone that can help you. It helps so much when you can talk to an impartial person. Especially a sympathetic one.


Let me see if I got this right, she left before her nurses appointment? And you told her this morning? Sounds like something one of my daughters might pull. The PT was a last minute sort of thing. But with her health issues she doesn't need to be gallivanting around town. Brat! Did R have any idea how to take care of her? Or did he do the typical dad type thing?
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Old 10-30-2012, 03:53 PM   #277
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The nurse was early in the morning, and that's rather last minute, too. Then the PT called us, but we didn't want to interrupt the nurse visit, so Robert waited to tell her. He thought she knew he was coming up. So while he was on his way he called to tell her that the PT would be there soon, but he couldn't get ahold of her. This, of course, freaked him out. He made sure he had her keys to the building and apartment, and kept on calling. Finally she answered her cell, and she was getting a perm (he's so funny, he thinks she hasn't had one in YEARS...she has hair loss and is Asian, but has a headful of fluffy CURLS? yeah, she gets perms, and regularly), and wasn't going to be there for a few hours. So we let the PT know, and Robert came home.

She spent over a week wishing that Robert would be home, that she could see him, etc etc, and now that he's here, and has taken the week off FOR her (which is helpful, because Eamon and I got sick sick sick, I feel like absolute junk right now and have decided I have the plague. or mumps. I'm kinda dramatic when I don't feel well), but she only wants to see him for half an hour, and wants to be on the phone with him for a minute...it's bewildering. He and I had a long conversation today, though, and I guess that's how she is normally with her kids; the desperate-to-see-him stuff must have been a crisis thing, and now that she feels she's out of crisis, she doesn't really want him there.

But he's got her today and tomorrow, because of an appt and he has to run around town and check on some things to make sure everything is going well with the "care" she's receiving from her buddies, with her finances, etc.

We've come to really GET that we can't force her to go anywhere. Her POA is really specific, and the laws make it nearly impossible for us to decide anything for her. The POA allows him to be a part of her finances before she's incompetent, but he can't decide on any living situations for her. So if this is the way it has to be, it's the way it has to be. It's like an 18 year old living at home and acting out. OK, you want to be that way, you're an adult, but don't expect money or excess amounts of empathy. Of course it's an 18 year old without a driver's license, LOL.


He just called, ooh she is clever. He was going up early to talk to her neighbors, her "care" providers who did great for exactly ONE day. She didn't want him to, but he was going to just go there to be really clear with them of WHY she needs this help (without her "snowing" behavior aka *lying*), how incredibly important it is that they do it and call us twice a day, that they have to WATCH her eat and take her pills not just believe that she "just" did it or "will" do it, and that $30 a month for this is far too low and if they are going to do it we have to establish a better price point.

He went almost an hour earlier than he told her he would be. And...she was waiting, ready, at the main door of the building. Foiled!
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Old 10-30-2012, 04:17 PM   #278
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Okay so she can't be completely to blame.


The POA is set kind of hard. At least R can do the financial.



She is a crafty one isn't she? I think she knows her son and was ready to sabotage him in his finding anything out.
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Old 10-30-2012, 05:29 PM   #279
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No, she's not totally at fault for yesterday. We just want the communication to go both ways.

I have to say that the home health nurses are a bit unreasonable. They REALLY want the appointments to be in the morning, and get annoyed when they hear "she really is not a morning person", and think she's not taking it "seriously". I just don't understand that. I have no interest in someone coming by my house at 9am, either. It might not be early to you, but it is to me! And that's a lifelong trait of mine and of MIL's, which isn't going to magically change just because some nurse has woken up early all of her life.


Oh this plague-mumps is really bringing me down. If I'd been around mosquitoes I'd think there was a touch of West Nile in there as well.

Slightly dramatic when not feeling well.
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Old 10-30-2012, 05:42 PM   #280
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not so fun story but with a good ending

One of our first days, we went on Mater. During this time I was still wearing my PP+ lanyard around my neck, though I knew the card had a penchant for loosening itself and trying to get lost.

I was on Mater, focused on having fun and hoping E didn't smack the side with his face again, and wasn't paying attention to the lanyard.

I got off the ride, went into the exit "corral" if you want to call it that, and did my usual "check the lanyard" move. Only to find it empty of the proper PP+ card. It had the little card that lists where you can use it, but not the REAL card.

Ack! Ack! Ack! Irreplaceable! The pictures we'd had taken already, gone! Ack!!!!!!


So I told the guys and stayed in the exit area, asking the CMs if they had seen one of the cards. I paced back and forth in there, staring at the ground all over. If you've been on this ride, you know that you travel all over the area while on it. You're not just going in one little circle. I get the attention of the guy in the vehicle I *thought* had been mine, and he looked but found nothing. So their ride cycle starts, and I'm still pacing.

I was SO unhappy and felt so stupid...

I was starting to despair, and was getting ready to leave the area, dejected, when the ride ended and I noticed someone trying to get my attention. It was a wonderful, beautiful, no doubt the kindest person EVER, woman coming towards me with a PP+ card in her hand! Oh joy oh joy! They'd found it, picked it up, then noticed a freaked out woman pacing around, and put two and two together. Oh happy day! I nearly kissed her.

So that was the happy story.

Then there's a postscript in the form of Robert showing me the incredibly clear picture of PP+ card on his phone that he had taken immediately after the CM told us that we should take a picture. I had forgotten that moment entirely.

All that panic for nothing. Then again, the sheer joy of the later moment was fabulous, and probably made the panic worth it.
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Old 10-30-2012, 05:46 PM   #281
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FUN story

I don't think I mentioned the story of meeting the Stormtroopers at the Halloween party. (the fun is gone from calling them Stromtroppers)


The line was handled annoyingly by Disney, with a big gap between the line and the area where you actually meet them. This gap was taken up by the entrance to the Buzz giftshop, and it led to wonderful feelings of "omg there's NO ONE in line!" that of course were crushed by "no, the line starts over there". The CMs were great about it, they had to deal with a really bad line set-up and were apologetic, and just felt bad for them (and us).

So we figured out where the line was, which was basically behind the Star Tours FP machines, and waited. And waited and waited and waited. We met nice people, yadda yadda, the normal thing when waiting in line.

Now remember that the guys were dressed as pirates, with swords (two each, since they *had to* upgrade the swords (at extra cost!)) and attitude. I wasn't meeting the stormtroopers, and just walked in and went to the photographer to hand over my PP+ card. The guys walk in, and Robert gets it into his head to pull his sword. So he pulls his sword out dramatically and strikes an ATTACK pose.

The Stormtroopers reacted *instantly*, pulling their blasters out and being exactly as a Stormtrooper might be, when confronted with apparent space pirates with swords. It was SO COOL. And funny.

Just goes to show that the actors they get to be characters (and this isn't just Disney...Universal has great actors in costume as well!) do their jobs very very well.

The line handler and photographer were laughing and calming things down (that should be in quotes, of course), and talking about how they narrowly averted an "Intergalactic incident".
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Old 10-30-2012, 07:34 PM   #282
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I totally forgot to tell you guys this!

So you know, if you read every single word I write and remember it all (which, obviously, I don't even remember what I write so that's definitely NOT something I assume happens) our last day was supposed to be spent at the Hilton Suites, or something like that.

As we were going to bed (after Eamon was totally passed out) on our intended last DLH night, I got mega-sad. I mean seriously bummed out! It wasn't that I didn't want to leave Anaheim, it was that I didn't want to leave the hotel. I didn't want to pack, I didn't want to move, I just wanted to be THERE.

So Robert channeled Yul Brynner as the King of Siam and said "make it so". Or something like that.

We got ahold of the front desk, and someone worked some amazing magic, and despite it being sold out on disneyland.com, hotels.com, expedia, and everywhere else we thought to look, they got us the SAME rate that we booked at (amazing gay days rate) and let us stay in our same room. We nearly cried!

It was so lovely to tell Eamon, the next morning when we woke up, that we had one more night there.
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Old 10-30-2012, 08:27 PM   #283
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When I got out of the hospital I had a home health nurse that came in regularly, a physical therapist and an occupational therapist. They all tended to call the morning of. That was until I got a permanent home health nurse and her and I set up mid morning/early afternoon times. In a house that has three kids that go to school in the morning, and two adult makes that worked(my nephew lived with us at the time) you really have to work around that. The therapies were always in the afternoon.


I have had the horror of losing passes. Now that you can use your AP for that it is so much easier. How nice of that lady to help you.


Love that the Stormtroopers stayed in character like that. What do you think of Disney buying Lucas?


Oh how nice to not have to move that night. Disney magic.



I hope you feel better soon, its rough being sick.
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Old 10-30-2012, 08:35 PM   #284
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So you know the fun of having Home Health. I guess the PT showed up today. As I expected, she wasn't deemed as needing PT.

Robert took her to a neurologist today, one who has seen her 3 of the 4 hospitalizations. Harder to "snow" them since they've seen her at her very worst! Nothing new, but they are glad she's being checked for atrial fibrillation. Sounds like it was a good appointment. Guess I should call her "old" neurologist to Trump him. (you know, "you're fired")
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Old 10-30-2012, 08:59 PM   #285
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Oh yes, I know it well. I had an ileostomy and I had a terrible time with it springing a leak or the bag just plain coming off. When I had one that was one really good I refused to let them take it off to check my skin. I am afraid I wasn't a very good patient.


Well, honestly I did the majority of my own therapy. I took all of the things I learned in all of those months in the hospital into my therapy. Have fun playing Trump!
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