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Old 10-18-2012, 02:25 PM   #181
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Molly, I am so sorry that she is treating you like this. I was just saying to Scotty yesterday that if I was told thank you by my daughter Kacy or my mom I would be in shock. Kacy had the nerve to complain to me the other day because someone didn't thank her. I told her off, I told her that I felt that she was one to talk. I take her to school and to work. I am not asked, I am expected to just do it. My mom doesn't ask either. She will tell me "we have to go...." or "we have to...." I feel your pain. And temple is such a big thing and my feelings would be hurt. I am glad to hear that Robert and his brother stepped in. I never let Scotty step in because I know that in the long run I will bear the brunt.


I think your dinner sounded wonderful!
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Old 10-18-2012, 03:10 PM   #182
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She thanks me when she doesn't feel well. But when she feels better it's back to normal. I just need to keep those thank-yous in my mind and KNOW that she is grateful.

Not sure if you could tell , but I was really overwhelmed the last few days! I got some good sleep last night and feel umpteen times better today. Made even better by not having to go to the home health visit today.

Just a couple days ago it really seemed like assisted living was the way to go, but when I get some sleep I can't define what it would do for her. I wish she'd start dating and maybe have someone there at night, wink wink; when I was there for her stroke/ministroke/TIA when she was actually at the hospital, just having someone there to tell her who she is and where she is, etc, helped her tremendously. I think having someone there right there with her would be good. But that's not even the case with assisted living, or even a nursing home, because you still have to hit that call button. Heck, right there in the hospital we hit that call button and the nurse arrived just as it lifted and she was better (sobbing, but better). If only dating after widowhood was allowed in Korean culture! (or at least in her family's culture)
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Old 10-18-2012, 04:26 PM   #183
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Molly -

I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this and for the way you are being treated. Kudos to your husband and brother-in-law for stepping in. The human brain is one of the biggest unknowns in the human body and so many conditions have similarities to other conditions. I hope and pray that things start getting better sooner than later.

Here's a flower to help brighten your day!

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Old 10-18-2012, 04:43 PM   #184
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Thank you Kris!
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Old 10-18-2012, 06:06 PM   #185
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pictures!

Not sure what I was going for here.







Breakfast at Tomorrowland Terrace.














From afar:
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Old 10-18-2012, 06:36 PM   #186
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It will get better Molly. When I had my stroke I was in ICU, my nurse I had didn't realize that I had the stroke. Unfortunately it wasn't until the next shift that they noticed. So even in the best circumstances (or worse depending on your view point) there is no fool proof way to have someone see it all the time.

Wow! They sure give you a lot of fruit on the fruit plate don't they? That looks so amazing to me right now.
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:13 PM   #187
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaoden39 View Post
It will get better Molly. When I had my stroke I was in ICU, my nurse I had didn't realize that I had the stroke. Unfortunately it wasn't until the next shift that they noticed.
Wow. How did they figure it out? Did you know it at the time?

I think MIL has forgotten the one I witnessed. She's saying "uh huh" when I talk about it, but she gets a look when she's not telling the truth....



Got two ambulance bills and I'm dealing with them. Even though Robert watched them copy down the insurance card info the first time, and I watched them the second time, they magically have NO insurance info. Also, for one trip they went 3 miles and for the other trip they went 2. From the same place TO the same place. Amazing, eh?


ETA: got off the phone with her home health nurse. Even SHE doesn't know if MIL should change her living situation. The doctor requested that a social worker be sent to assess the situation. Sigh. THIS part is not my decision, though. It's a decision of her children. Unfortunately, with Robert being the POA, he has more say in it than the others, and that brings us right back to me being involved.

Last edited by bumbershoot; 10-18-2012 at 07:21 PM.
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:18 PM   #188
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I was so doped up I lost nearly a month and that was during that month. I had a nurse that was really on the ball and she noticed that I looked different. Scotty was there and she called the Dr right away. Had they caught it right away they may have been able to fix the damage.

Are the strokes affecting her mobility at all?
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:19 PM   #189
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Oh, major hugs for you!



They aren't affecting her body at all, except for in the moment. So far they are just hitting her memories. It's all very weird! And since they aren't affecting her body after the fact, they are considered mild and mini...which I don't think she appreciates, LOL. But I know that if she really considered the alternative of what it *could* be doing to her body, she wouldn't feel that way.

I think I'm going to order Rosetta Stone to learn Korean. This whole communicating in a language she doesn't use clearly thing is making me crazy. If only she believed in teaching kids Korean, Eamon could have been fluent by now, and HE could be the translator! As it is, no one is ever sure what her answers to complicated questions are.


(which makes it hard to tell if she just doesn't understand the question OR thinks she's answering it just fine but WE are mixing it up, OR if she doesn't remember...since a social worker might be evaluating her, getting GOOD communication going is vital! so at her next dr visit she IS getting a translator there)
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:21 PM   #190
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Molly -

I'm amazed that, given all of the stress you're dealing with, you still find time to post photos!

I love the little popcorn-turning dude! I also love that fruit plate! What a bounty of fruit!

The picture of E and Pluto is adorable.

When you rode Autopia, were other cars breaking down around you? That seemed to be the 'thing' a while back - cars stalling in the middle of the track/road. At first I wondered if it was suddenly part of the ride! Disney has a way of making anything seem fun - even a car stalling! But then the CM's would have to come out and get it going, so that theory was shot down!
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:29 PM   #191
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The Rosetta Stone sounds like a good idea. I am all for teaching a child a second language. They are little sponges for languages.
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:43 PM   #192
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Sherry, today I was on the Dis, fielding phone calls from pharmacists, home health nurses, the doctor's office...making phone calls to the ambulance company, etc etc etc. The photos are my little respite. Yesterday I was so stressed out while at the hospital that I asked to see the care manager for myself, to calm me down! (not in her room, of course)

This time the responsibility has been almost all on me, and I'm feeling (no one thinks this but me) like it's all on me, like one false move and it's all over, like every decision I make it HUGE. The reality is that I'm just the one *there*, and that no one feels that I'm messing up (I *feel* like I am, like I'm missing something...apparently I think that I have some knowledge that no one else in 4 hospital systems has? that I am Dr House? ) and I just need to STOP it... But yesterday I was having a really seriously major hard time with it! So it's my respite.

Michele, if only she felt that way. Now she has two sons who can communicate with her in basic ways* and a daughter who lost any Korean she had. A grandson that doesn't know the language at all, and a DIL who is so fed up with the communication that she's about to just learn it!

*the oldest was born in Korea and lived there for 9 years, so it's sort of hard-wired into his brain. his grandmother basically raised him until moving here, so the language is actually from her. With the younger two, she spoke Konglish, a combo of languages, so that as kids no one was fully fluent in ANYTHING. Robert's English skills have improved since we started dating! At 28 when I met him he was still, really, not totally fluent in English. Which is really wild, when you consider that he was schooled almost entirely in the US, and his schooling outside the US was at an American missionary school where they ONLY spoke English apart from the Chinese language class.

But she and her husband were too-old-school, and thought that learning two languages as a child did nothing but CONFUSE them. Which is weird, because SHE was taught Japanese as a child (no choice, living in an occupied country), and still remembers it. So if anyone would know about learning a language as a child it's her, but I doubt she has EVER put those two things together...


that was a long "PS".
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:41 PM   #193
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My maternal grandma spoke only German when she started school because they spoke no English in her home. She was so embarrassed because other kids made fun of her and she refused to ever speak German again. My mom's grandma on her dads side reverted to German as she got older and would only speak German. I am afraid that is what your mother in law is going to do. Maybe you and E could do the Rosetta Stone together, it would make learning easier I am sure if you have someone to study with.


On a side note Loren's bff is Hispanic and his grandma and grandpa would not let their kids learn Spanish. It was an embarrassment for Belen because like my grandma she spoke no English when she started school. She refused to let her children speak anything other than English. Also this gave her a way to talk privately with her husband. It's funny how life changes because the grandson she is raising is taking Spanish becajuse she made him.
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Old 10-18-2012, 10:16 PM   #194
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That was really interesting, Michele! Isn't it amazing how strong feelings about language can be?

My half-sibs grew up in a school district with a LOT of kids of migrant workers (Santa Cruz...of course you know where that is, LOL). Not only do they have ESL classes galore, but they have a very tolerant policy for kids who don't know English yet, and they even have a very long December break, so the families can go home to Mexico to visit family. I *love* the school district for being so open-minded. And it's GOT to make it so much easier on the kids, who might not know English when they get here, but can so relatively easily learn it, while not being shamed during the process.

If MIL had put huge efforts into becoming fluent, it could be more easily "forgiven" (that's not really the word I'm going for, so soften that word in your head when you read it), that she didn't teach the kids to be fluent in Korean. But she just never did.

And we, too, are worried that she's going to lose all English. It's happened 3/5 times so far with the strokes. No, 4/5 times. If one of those clots or bits of plaque hits the area where English is stored, it's not going to be good. Sigh.

Now they are talking about upping the warfarin dose, since it really freaks them out that she had two more strokes while in the right "INR" range.
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Old 10-18-2012, 10:24 PM   #195
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looking through receipts

I'll talk a little about where we ate at this point in our story.


I'd already talked about the French Market on the 29th (there was starbucks that morning after weigh-in).

The evening of the 29th is when we tried to get the order of coffee going for the 30th, and even though they had to do a rush order, we did have that. Then the TTerrace breakfast.

By 1:15 that day we were heading to the hotel, which I know because I see a Haagen Dasz receipt. Mmmmm.

I believe there was some swimming, and then we decided to go out to dinner (and to Vons). We chose Souplantation, which is related to Sweet Tomatoes where we always go at WDW. Relatively fresh and "healthy" food, it's a buffet, you can make good choices there. Tasty goodness. However, the travel, the heat, etc, all caused poor E to get a headache the instant we got in the car to go to dinner. At that point all you can do is get good food and lots of water into him, along with lots of hugs, so that's what we did. Then we had a quick stop at Vons and then back to the hotel to rest and relax.

This time we put out the door-tag for coffee (no soymilk for E b/c he didn't like it, and we'd gotten little boxes of almond milk instead) AND called them to let them know we'd done that. This was WELL before midnight, I mean a couple hours before.

As we did every night, we tucked our wee boy into bed, got him all cozy with his stuffed critters, turned the lights and music on, hugged and kissed him more, and he was out like a light. And so were we! It was a sleepy trip that's for sure!
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