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Old 12-22-2012, 06:07 PM   #436
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Originally Posted by westjones View Post
Well that is good. I am glad that some positive things came from all of that. I hope the rest of her freshman year is a little less stressful. And I hope she enjoys her Christmas break!
Thank you! And I hope your DD's both enjoy a wonderful Christmas holiday!
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Old 12-22-2012, 06:11 PM   #437
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It was a BIG, HUGE, GINORMOUS adjustment for all of us. At first, she pretty much cut us off and we never heard from her and she never wanted to come home.
This was our experience as well. She's been home for a couple of days now and I think that I have seen her for about 15 minutes.

Had lunch together today and asked about grades. She said that she is considering whether or not to share them with us. That's great. We are considering whether or not to pay the bill next semester.
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Old 12-22-2012, 06:30 PM   #438
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This was our experience as well. She's been home for a couple of days now and I think that I have seen her for about 15 minutes.

Had lunch together today and asked about grades. She said that she is considering whether or not to share them with us. That's great. We are considering whether or not to pay the bill next semester.
I would want to see grades before paying. We have "proxy" access to both of our girls accounts so we can see their grades. I have recently heard of several students that we know who have been put on probation after their first semester and these are not kids with learning disabilities and they did fine in high school. They just enjoyed the social life too much. So if you are paying, you have a right to see her grades. If she is paying, then it is up to her.
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Old 12-22-2012, 06:59 PM   #439
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I agree. I would want to see grades before I paid. My money is a terrible thing to waste.

I know that FERPA states parents don't have a right to access grades. We told our daughter when she first started college that we understood we didn't have a right to her grades under FERPA but that she needed to understand she doesn't have a right to have us pay for college either. So we have access and she has paid tuition and fees and everyone is happy.

Last edited by Patience; 12-22-2012 at 07:11 PM.
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Old 12-22-2012, 07:09 PM   #440
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Originally Posted by Boston Tea Party View Post
This was our experience as well. She's been home for a couple of days now and I think that I have seen her for about 15 minutes.

Had lunch together today and asked about grades. She said that she is considering whether or not to share them with us. That's great. We are considering whether or not to pay the bill next semester.
My DD pulled this one me, too. It was just after mid-terms and I asked how her grades were. Her answer was basically, "I don't have to tell you." I told her I'd never invest in a stock without a prospectus and I also wouldn't keep investing in her unless I knew what my odds of someday seeing a return were.

She quickly changed her mind.
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Old 12-22-2012, 07:45 PM   #441
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Originally Posted by Boston Tea Party View Post
This was our experience as well. She's been home for a couple of days now and I think that I have seen her for about 15 minutes.

Had lunch together today and asked about grades. She said that she is considering whether or not to share them with us. That's great. We are considering whether or not to pay the bill next semester.
In our case...we "need" to see grades so we can forward them to our car insurance company to make sure we continue to get the "good-student" discount.
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:47 PM   #442
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DD has had a very good first semester. Football took up a lot of her time--she's a student athletic trainer and she traveled with them. They ended up conference champs which has not happened in so many years we can't remember, lol.

She only had one class that gave her trouble but she passed, survived and did not really even need it.

There are quite a few kids not coming back--some after Christmas and many next Fall. They're just not prepared for the work for the most part. Some are homesick, some miss BFs and GFs and some change majors and decide to go somewhere else.

DD complains about the food quite often. I think the chef left mid-semester and they are getting a new one this semester. Maybe it'll get better.
Her other biggest complaint has been internet service in the dorm. It seems spotty on campus and they say that will be fixed also.

I think she is relieved that football is over and she can work games this semester only when she wants. She and her roommate are friendly but not really friends. She has a lot of other friends though and since she was homeschooled, I think this is her favorite part about college.

I think her school is a good fit for her. She's happy and that thrills my heart.

I see her often enough (maybe once a week) and talk to her sort of like someone else mentioned--maybe text 3 or 4 times in a day and then go 3 or 4 days with no contact. I see her on FB though.
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:34 PM   #443
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Well, she is on a scholarship so good grades are required. I am sure that they are fine, it's just that she needs to realize that my nickel gets me some privileges...
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:53 PM   #444
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After a rocky start....my son found his footing. He and has actual roommate aren't a great mix but he does get along with his suite mates. So, all in all the roommate issue is tolerable. His grades aren't all in yet but he thinks he is getting mostly A's so that's great. He met a girl and while she is ok; just not totally his type and really needed - took him talking to a counselor to realize that it is ok to break up with someone because it just isn't working - turns out he really doesn't like hurting peoples feelings. So, he explained things prior to break...so they will have 4 weeks away from each other to let it heal.

He is a theater major and was cast in a main stage play for next term - a really big deal for freshman so he is feeling really good about that.

He came home a few times but because his older sister lives in Manhattan he spent a lot of time visiting her...so he wasn't as lonely as he might have been if she hadn't had been local.

Everyone is home currently so that is really nice.
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Old 12-22-2012, 11:33 PM   #445
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I've not "seen" grades, but he told me what he got as they were posted. His spring semester tuition was due before exams were over, so you couldn't really wait until you saw all the grades.

My son doesn't have any friends who aren't returning. Statistically, 97% of freshman return at his university something like 95% graduate, so that's no surprise.

I'm really glad to hear that most of our DIS kids are getting along okay.
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Old 12-23-2012, 05:19 AM   #446
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DD has had a very good first semester. Football took up a lot of her time--she's a student athletic trainer and she traveled with them. They ended up conference champs which has not happened in so many years we can't remember, lol.
Wow - what a great opportunity - pretty awesome for the first semester of college!

It's really great hearing stories from other parents. I've felt pretty lost since August and I have no other friends with college age kids (but soon.. and now I can share some insight with them).

A friend of DD's from school called her yesterday and said she was coming to visit (we are lucky enough to live in the town where DD goes to school - but that doesn't mean we get to see her much!). She lives about 2.5 hours away and in a rural area. Her mom died when she was little and she was lonely and bored. Well, what was to be shopping and dinner has turned into an overnight visit and maybe more. DD works retail and with crazy Christmas hours, she had to work midnight to 5 a.m. Her friend went to work with her (thankfully this is OK with where DD works) and now they out to breakfast. It's nice having both of them here.
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Old 12-23-2012, 06:39 AM   #447
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Both DDs are home for break, the house feels so nice to be full again. So proud of my girls - they are so independent, about the only thing we do for them is pay the tuition bills! Reading these posts about picking kids' classes, being in constant contact with the student, and other issues, I'm extra grateful my kids have the skills and maturity to handle these issues on their own.

I didn't realize parents were still doing all this for college kids, and just kind of expected mine to do it on their own. They come to me with questions, which I answer to the best of my ability, but they have been expected to do the stuff themselves. I really don't want them to be dependent on me that much, as after my melanoma scare I can't count on being here for them forever.
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Old 12-23-2012, 08:40 AM   #448
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First semester went very well for my daughter, her and her roommate have become best friends, and my daughter took 5 classes (she was encouraged only to take 4) and got straight A's. She is on the presidents list and just got an email inviting her into the honors program. Also...even though she has only done 1 semester of college, her status is already reading as Junior for next semester because of all the IB credits she had. We are so proud of her!!!
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Old 12-23-2012, 09:02 AM   #449
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I didn't realize parents were still doing all this for college kids, and just kind of expected mine to do it on their own. They come to me with questions, which I answer to the best of my ability, but they have been expected to do the stuff themselves. I really don't want them to be dependent on me that much, as after my melanoma scare I can't count on being here for them forever.
My DH and I did that all for ourselves too. And my one DD can do it for herself. But when you are dealing with a child with a disability it is a whole new situation. And dealing with the office of the Students With Disabilities is a whole new situation.

So yes, be very thankful if you have kids who can do all of this themselves. I am hopeful my DD will be able to do this eventually. My 'hope' is by her Junior year. But DH and I decided that the 'goal' is for her to finish college and so if that means we have to step in and help her with some of the little things, we are doing it. But believe me, I wish she could do it herself. It breaks my heart that she can't. And even having the label of being a 'disabled student' isn't something anyone really wants to have. BUT I am grateful she has the chance to go to college. I am grateful for the things the office of disabilities have done for her. But college is college, and it is rough and if you are someone who doesn't 'fit the mold' of the typical college student it is even rougher.

(Oh and I am also dealing with a medical issue that may mean I won't be here for long....although I am hopeful a year from now I can say that all is fine and I am well....but I also know they can't depend on me forever, which is why helping her get this degree now and not having her wait until she is older and more mature and possibly more capable of handling everything is important. I may not be here in 5 years when she would probably be more ready to go through college. But right now, I think (hope) she can do it if DH and I help her with the little things like figuring out a good schedule for her with instructors that would do better with her disability. I really truly hope that in a couple of years we see her taking over more....but again, when you deal with a disability it is a whole different world and you are sort of on your own to figure all of this out and it is scary...believe me, there have been a lot of tears on my part wishing my DD could do all the things her peers could do right now.....but she is getting there in her own time.)

Last edited by westjones; 12-23-2012 at 09:27 AM.
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Old 12-23-2012, 09:10 AM   #450
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First semester went very well for my daughter, her and her roommate have become best friends, and my daughter took 5 classes (she was encouraged only to take 4) and got straight A's. She is on the presidents list and just got an email inviting her into the honors program. Also...even though she has only done 1 semester of college, her status is already reading as Junior for next semester because of all the IB credits she had. We are so proud of her!!!
That is wonderful! Congrats! And so glad she got a good roommate. That can really help a lot.
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