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Old 08-10-2012, 09:35 PM   #211
Nancy for Disney
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This tread makes me depressed everytime I see it. All of my daughter's friends are getting ready to leave for college. My DD has decided not to attend. She graduated this spring with a 3.94 GPA and a 31 on the ACT. I loved college and I am sad she has decided that is not the path for her. It is a shame that we parents are not allowed to live their lives for them.
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Old 08-10-2012, 09:39 PM   #212
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nancy for Disney
This tread makes me depressed everytime I see it. All of my daughter's friends are getting ready to leave for college. My DD has decided not to attend. She graduated this spring with a 3.94 GPA and a 31 on the ACT. I loved college and I am sad she has decided that is not the path for her. It is a shame that we parents are not allowed to live their lives for them.
Has she given you an idea of what she thinks her path will be? Maybe she just needs sometime to figure things out? Wishing you and your DD nothing but the best.
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Old 08-10-2012, 10:39 PM   #213
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I've been helping my grandson choose a Florida school so we can get the living instate savings and I think he has decided to go to FSU! So, Go Noles!!
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Old 08-11-2012, 04:40 AM   #214
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Southernmiss
Are any of your new college students going to pledge with a fraternity or sorority?

DS has been contacted by a fraternity or two and is interested, but says he wants to get through 1st semester first before pledging. I think that's a good idea to get his feel for college life and what the frats are about. I hope he doesn't get swayed to pledge earlier.

What are the rest of you thinking and what are your kids doing about pledging?
DD says she absolutely will not, but I'm betting that she will change her mind. Her school has a freshman August term that allows incoming freshmen time on campus before Rush to get comfortable and not have the pressure of deciding as son as they arrive. Her school is heavily Greek.
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Old 08-11-2012, 07:37 AM   #215
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Originally Posted by MrEVILdrPorkchop2u View Post
I spent the last while reading through all of these. Our DS is a high school senior this year. He has already applied to the University of Alabama and now we are just waiting on a reply from the school. Everything is in and now it's just a wait and see game. My DW and I just can't fathom not having DS around. My DW already cries when she thinks about it and we still have a year to go. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like next summer. We spent spring vacation touring different schools down south. We are moving to SC the end of this school year after DS graduates. We had toured the University of SC and had hoped DS would love it......but he did not. He didn't like being right in the city. Deep down we had hoped he would love it. Then DS had also considered Penn State and Clemson. Then we went to UA and from the moment we arrived, he just knew it was where he was suppose to be. It will be about 6 hours away and I think it will just about kill my DW. I believe she will adjust just fine after the fact but I do believe the anticipation will do her in. Wishing you all the best of luck!
All I know to say is to brace yourself and be supportive and don't be shocked that you will hurt in your own way too. People have said to DH, "Poor Brenda, poor Brenda." And he is like, "What about ME?" lol They are close and this has also been hard on ol' dad!

My nephew looked at U of SC also because he wanted to go to a big school. He then toured and did overnights at Wofferd, Presbyterian, and some other small school in SC. He was shocked to find himself in love with Presbyterian College. And that is where he spend 4 glorious years. Maybe, just maybe...looking into a smaller, private SC might be worth a look? I'm sure if he is set of UofAL it will all work out but sometimes you just never know. By Christmas break Michael told me he was glad to be at a smaller school where he could develop a relationship with his professors. Just a thought ( to help your DW out.)

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OmG, Helen!!! Wow, what a memory~

So many people wanted him to go into nursing or special ed, it's truly his passion to help those who need it. He wants to work in TV like I do, I think it's because he's always been around it. Eventually he will find his true passion and it will be taking care of SOMEONE~ hopefully not his elderly Mom!

I'm so glad your dd is a blessing because YOU are one. She's going to excel in her chosen school because it has always been her dream. It's awesome to have a dream, and so few kids have one. She doesn't lose her focus and that's RARE!
The story of Helen will go with me for a long, long time. It was so typical Michael and yet so untypical. That interaction just touched my soul and always has me thinking when I see someone alone (at Disney or elsewhere.)

When my DH went to college he wanted to do Special Education and was talked out of it. He got his degree in business administration. He had a few job sitting behind a desk and hated them so he became a FF/paramedic. He is amazing good with kids and elderly people. At 52, he is very close to finally getting that nursing degree.

I truly hope that Michael does find something to feed that passion and GIFT. Otherwise, he'll be like DH and always be feeling that void until it is filled.

Thanks for those sweet thoughts about DD. I thought she would get tired of that dream/focus and choose to go somewhere else to college. Nope, although she did not want an orange and garnet bedroom anymore (thank the Lord!), she still loves that college more than the founder himself could have loved it! The devotion may have an unusual pay off--she called me this morning and they have made her a very fun offer. Funny how things work out sometimes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nancy for Disney View Post
This tread makes me depressed everytime I see it. All of my daughter's friends are getting ready to leave for college. My DD has decided not to attend. She graduated this spring with a 3.94 GPA and a 31 on the ACT. I loved college and I am sad she has decided that is not the path for her. It is a shame that we parents are not allowed to live their lives for them.
Nancy, has she made any plans of what she is interested in? I really hope she changes her mind. I graduated 11th in my class and should have gone on to college but at the time I did not want to go. I've done hair for the past 29 years and while I love it, I always, always wish I had gone on just so I would have more choices!
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Old 08-11-2012, 07:55 AM   #216
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Well....dd comes home from camp tomorrow. Then, she leaves again on the 24th!!! She came home for a quick overnight to say goodbye to her bff on Wednesday, and okayed all the stuff I had bought for her for her dorm room!!! Yay for me!!! So, we have about 10 days with her...2 weeks from today, dh and I head back down to RI for the freshman convocation ceremony!! So, she moves in on Friday, we go home and then get to see her the next day. That's something at least. We can catch up on her first night in person!!! That will help us make the transition.

Have any of you parents given your freshmen a date that they have to remain at school until??? I don't want dd heading home to soon.....Parents weekend is in mid-Oct....so it will be two months that she will have been away at that point. I think we're going t tell her to stay put until then. Hard to think of going two months without seeing her though.
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Old 08-11-2012, 08:58 AM   #217
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My sister took my niece to Gettysburg 6 years ago (she has since graduated) and said, "See you at Christmas." I could and would never do that. DN loved college though and rarely even called home.

Of course, we have not done that. I think we're too close to do that type of thing. I just drove by and stuck a tube of toothpaste and two books from Chegg into her trunk w/o seeing her. I really do not expect to have her coming home much even though we are minutes away. Plus on the weekends she will have football (& I'll see her at home games and maybe even an away game or two.)

I think the schools really try to have weekend activities planned to keep them around. Ours has an outdoor activity every Saturday morning--hiking, tubing, rafting, etc. and the kids can sign up and experience the Smoky Mountains!

Oh and no sorority here and Barb, those tears I spoke of? They were yesterday (Fri) and move in was Thursday. Hopefully they are feeling better although it it is kind of a gloomy day here but cooler (80s!!).
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Old 08-11-2012, 09:22 AM   #218
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My daughter is not going to rush as a freshman. She is interested but she will be cheering for her university and we both think it's best if she finds out how that is going to go before she thinks about joining a sorority.

Only 2 more days until she leaves. I am trying so hard not to cry too much because I want her to be excited about college but it is so hard.
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:32 AM   #219
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Shouldn't be part of this thread as my DS19 graduated in 2011. However, wanted to say that things do get better for those that are having a hard time sending their kids off to college for the first time. For me, the emotions were so up there for the 4 years of HS and intensified as his senior year came rolling around. How was this possible??? My "baby" was a HS senior and each and every thought brought tears. I hated packing the car and the trek to school...2 hours away. He did not know anyone and had never met his roommates (a triple), so he had his own set of nerves. I was remarkably calm as we left and drove back home. Dealing with other things in our lives that kept me busy. However, that first weekend back home, I found it terribly hard to take him back to the train station....cried buckets. However, things do get better and easier...on both sides. Remember, as we are going through all of this, these kids just graduated HS and are off on their own...whether they admit it or not, they are nervous and scared, full of emotions. My DS came home several times during the first semester besides Thanksgiving as his GF is still here and some of his buddies from HS are commuters to either community college or nearby colleges. Each time he came home, we noticed differences in him and we all looked forward to his time at home. Before you know it, the school year is over and you will find that it has flown by.

Good luck to all of you
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:50 AM   #220
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Well it turns out I haven't been worrying about nothing afterall. My younger DD who will be a HS freshman got her school packet in the mail yesterday. Registration is of course at noon the same day we're supposed to be moving her older sister into her dorm. I'm sure I can make some alternate arrangements when I can call the admin tomorrow, however I once again feel like a lousy parent for not being able to complete the younger DD's event in the normal course w/ full attention, etc. I swear this happens every stinking time.
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:55 AM   #221
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nancy for Disney View Post
This tread makes me depressed everytime I see it. All of my daughter's friends are getting ready to leave for college. My DD has decided not to attend. She graduated this spring with a 3.94 GPA and a 31 on the ACT. I loved college and I am sad she has decided that is not the path for her. It is a shame that we parents are not allowed to live their lives for them.
Aw, I feel for you. For some reason I have a hunch college is the path for her, particularly since you didn't mention some alternative path she's just got to pursue instead. Be sure you tell her she's got to have a plan, a solid plan, not just aimlessly searching. I hope you're able to report soon she's feeling she's missing out after talking w/ her friends and will at least hit community college 2nd semester & be ready to fly the coop for college next fall.
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Old 08-12-2012, 10:01 AM   #222
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So DS altar seved his last mass this morning with his 3 siblings before heading out next Friday.

I did well until the choir sang one of the hymns I used to sing to the kids as a lulaby--then all bets were off. Tears flowed, I had to leave and compose myself and have been choking up since.

He left right from church for work, but only after we managed to snap a few last pictures of him in his altar server robes.
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Old 08-12-2012, 10:21 AM   #223
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DD18 is having a blast! Her school does a three week freshman orientation including a seminar-style class. She liked the professor, who will be her faculty mentor until she chooses a major.

I've seen a couple of pictures on FaceBook - her view is beautiful and it looks like she found her first party without any trouble

Today is a field trip to the beach and then some study time. Hope I'll get a text or phone call later.
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Old 08-12-2012, 10:41 AM   #224
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Southernmiss
So DS altar seved his last mass this morning with his 3 siblings before heading out next Friday.

I did well until the choir sang one of the hymns I used to sing to the kids as a lulaby--then all bets were off. Tears flowed, I had to leave and compose myself and have been choking up since.

He left right from church for work, but only after we managed to snap a few last pictures of him in his altar server robes.
Ohhhh... I feel for you. DD just came home for about 45 minutes (to grab a few things and hug the dogs). I swear I teared up just as much when she left this time and it's only been 2 nights!!

But she's having an awesome time. I love the stories of staying up all night and walking up and talking to total strangers and making new friends. She has a group of about 30 kids she's hanging out with. It's pretty awesome, actually, to see the results of your work as a parent. She's confident, kind (befriending as many kids as she can that seem to be homesick) and outgoing. I just never saw this side of her before.

So while I will always be her mom, I'm semi-retired as a parent. Well, except for 4 years of tuition bills!

I was surprised to learn yesterday during the parent/advisor meeting that they discourage students from working. DD loves her job and isn't going to give it up without a fight. They hadn't told her that there are mandatory evening/afternoon activities so her schedule will be both complicated and busy. But it's up to her to find balance. More life lessons.

And Empty Nest Day 3 isn't quite as bad as Day 1 or Day 2. So it will get better. I'm just waiting to find that "new normal."
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Old 08-12-2012, 12:07 PM   #225
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So far, things sound good for the DIS kids, huh? Yay!

However, DD's 2 trainer friends are miserable. Last night I spoke with DD and she said, "I'm going up to check on Lauren." I asked why and she said, "Mom, she and the other girl have bawled all day long. *sigh* So, I think I should go check."

Now DD is very compassionate but only to an extent--then, it is all "suck it up and move forward." I hate that the 2 friend she is working with are both so miserably unhappy.

And they are BUSY. So busy that DD had to miss a wedding last night that she was to attend as a group of trainers for one of the head trainers. They just did not finish in time to get showered, ready and drive to the wedding.

Now freshman orientation does not start for just shy of 2 more weeks so I think she's going to have a l-o-n-g 2 weeks if things do not shape up for these 2 girls. Maybe DH and I should invite them over to cook out or have a fire in the firepit and roast marshmallows or something...

I hate to see anyone homesick.

Last night I went to dinner with my sister and her kids and I asked 2 college aged kids if they were real homesick. "No!" I then asked if many of their friends seemed homesick. Again, they said no. Regardless, these 2 girls are very homesick and I feel for them. I just hope they are *trying* to help themselves and not sinking in the pity. And I'm afraid DD thinks that might be the case.
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