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Old 07-26-2012, 09:11 AM   #151
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I wasn't trying to say going to orientation is helicoptering. Matter of fact, I was really feeling like I was slacking for not going & DD was just pushing me away. Everyone I know has gone to orientation w/ their kids, including this year. Several of my friends have been really surprised that ours was set up this way. A few have said they would have attended anyway. Now that I know how ours played out, I am relieved I didn't go -- but I still kind of feel a twinge of bad parent if that makes any sense.
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Old 07-26-2012, 02:33 PM   #152
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Move-in day for first year students is August 31. There will be some parent type meetings that day, but I am not sure of the exact schedule.

We went to the "Freshman Preview" day last Saturday. It was only for a few hours, but was a great way to get information and check to make sure all forms were done.
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Old 07-26-2012, 04:58 PM   #153
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Here is a question which I know will vary widely, but how much $ are you planning to give your college freshman each month? My first one that went off had one of my credit cards to use if there was an emergency. I wouldn't have cared if he bought clothes or things, but he never did. DD? NOT getting a credit card. She is spendy!
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Old 07-26-2012, 05:05 PM   #154
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He will get to use the money he earns from work study as spending cash. Other than that? Not too sure since $$ is real tight, and he has been having his own money from working for the past year. He will most likely need some gas money since he has to drive 30 mile (round trip) 3 times a week for ROTC, so maybe enough to cover gas.
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Old 07-26-2012, 05:44 PM   #155
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DS is expected to make his own spending money. We do dump $25 a month into his account (and DS16) just to "help out". We pay cell phone, car insurance etc and bought everything he needed for school. With meal plan and no car at school, he really shouldn't need much.
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Old 07-26-2012, 05:46 PM   #156
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Orientation at the University of Southern California was amazing. It was wonderful to network with other parents who are going through what we are. The sessions that they had for us were very informative and they helped with the anxiety that I am feeling with sending my child halfway across the country. The orientation was designed for parents and students to attend together, some sessions were scheduled separate, some all together. They really did an amazing job of addressing our concerns, especially with USC being in south central Los Angeles. I wouldn't have missed it for anything and wish that all parents could have the chance to feel a part of the university's family just as we are now part of the Trojan Family.
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Old 07-26-2012, 06:51 PM   #157
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My son (and us) got his third send-off party invitation today! One is a regional party at a lake sponsored by the alumni association -- I don't think we're going to that one, one by the local chapter of the alumni association at a baseball game -- we will go to that one, and one at the home of another rising freshman (whom we barely know) -- we'll probably go to that one, too.

Boston Tea Party -- You could have changed Southern Cal to UNC-Chapel Hill and I would agree with everything you said. DH and I had a great time at orientation and learned a lot even though we both went to DS's school, we both have worked there and we've sent two other kids to college.
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Old 07-26-2012, 07:00 PM   #158
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Tea View Post
Here is a question which I know will vary widely, but how much $ are you planning to give your college freshman each month? My first one that went off had one of my credit cards to use if there was an emergency. I wouldn't have cared if he bought clothes or things, but he never did. DD? NOT getting a credit card. She is spendy!
Nothing. It's either from the little he has left from working (he has traveled most of this summer so that total will be very little when he returns in 10days) or scholarship/loan/grant extras.

He has is own CC so he will need to learn quickly how to manage.
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Old 07-26-2012, 07:43 PM   #159
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Originally Posted by tar heel View Post
My son (and us) got his third send-off party invitation today! One is a regional party at a lake sponsored by the alumni association -- I don't think we're going to that one, one by the local chapter of the alumni association at a baseball game -- we will go to that one, and one at the home of another rising freshman (whom we barely know) -- we'll probably go to that one, too.

Boston Tea Party -- You could have changed Southern Cal to UNC-Chapel Hill and I would agree with everything you said. DH and I had a great time at orientation and learned a lot even though we both went to DS's school, we both have worked there and we've sent two other kids to college.
Glad you had a good experience as well. This past Sunday we went to the SCend Off (all of their program titles, where applicable, use the SC ) at an alumni's home. It was awesome - lots of food, freebies, people to meet, and an invitation to watch the football games on TV. Hope that you enjoy yours!
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Old 07-26-2012, 08:32 PM   #160
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DD's orientation lasted from 8(?) to 3:30ish.

I went, DH did not. It was all very interesting to me. I never went to college so it all makes me wish I had this experience. I've learned so much through homeschooling DD through HS and attending all the opportunities for her at the college. I find it all very interesting and love the atmosphere of a small college campus as a community within a community.

Anyway, during orientation there was a lot of talk about cutting the apron strings and also encouraging your student to participate on campus and to give it a chance if they call home and say they are 1) homesick 2) hate it 3) bored 4)the food is bad.... etc. etc. etc.
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Old 07-27-2012, 07:00 AM   #161
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DD moves in on August 16th, about a week and a half earlier than the general population because she's playing soccer and fall athletes go early. She has a triple and she's excited about getting there before her roomates so she can get the single bed. She's only about 1 1/2 hours away and we will be able to go to most of her games so I think that's helping me get through this. The littlest things set me off, even this thread has me a little weepy!
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Old 07-27-2012, 07:00 AM   #162
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I have set up to automatic draft $20 twice a month (when I get paid) to DD's account. She had money from working so really should need my $40/month but I feel better putting it in there. She also just applied for a CC at our credit union. It only has a $250 credit limit so she can't get herself into too much trouble. Since I have access to put $ into account if she needs work on her car or something else we can also get it to her.
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Old 07-27-2012, 08:35 AM   #163
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Quote:
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There is a big difference between a helicopter parent and an involved parent. The past few years has put the two on the same level and it's about the same as an abusive parent and a parent who disciplines an unruly child. NOT the same by a long shot.

The Mommy Daddy wars which changes ever few years need to realize that reinventing the wheel does not show the end result. If we find a process that WORKS (and by works I mean the results are apparent in the people RAISED) then we wouldn't have to make it up as we go along.

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Originally Posted by cabanafrau View Post
I wasn't trying to say going to orientation is helicoptering. Matter of fact, I was really feeling like I was slacking for not going & DD was just pushing me away. Everyone I know has gone to orientation w/ their kids, including this year. Several of my friends have been really surprised that ours was set up this way. A few have said they would have attended anyway. Now that I know how ours played out, I am relieved I didn't go -- but I still kind of feel a twinge of bad parent if that makes any sense.
Sorry...didn't mean to generalize. I wasn't saying that going to orientation was helicopter parenting. Wasn't my intention to case aspersions on anyone. But there sure were a lot of helicopter parents in attendance!!! You could tell...they were the ones asking the dopey questions, and then come to find out??? Yep, first time having a kid go off to college. Figures.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Tea View Post
Here is a question which I know will vary widely, but how much $ are you planning to give your college freshman each month? My first one that went off had one of my credit cards to use if there was an emergency. I wouldn't have cared if he bought clothes or things, but he never did. DD? NOT getting a credit card. She is spendy!
My dd is getting nothing from us. In fact, I told her we were done after paying for tuition and room/board. She had to buy her own textbooks!!! She is doing work study which will give her spending money each month. And she has a fairly hefty amount in her checking account. She won't need money for food/drink. So, if she wants to spend extra, she has to find the money.
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Old 07-27-2012, 09:59 AM   #164
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In answer to Green Tea's question,we're planning to put $200 a month into our son's checking account. He is not getting a big meal plan and we look at this as part of his "board."
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Old 07-27-2012, 10:44 AM   #165
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Tea View Post
Here is a question which I know will vary widely, but how much $ are you planning to give your college freshman each month? My first one that went off had one of my credit cards to use if there was an emergency. I wouldn't have cared if he bought clothes or things, but he never did. DD? NOT getting a credit card. She is spendy!
We have nagged DS for MONTHS to save money and he's not doing such a great job. So I will greatly enjoy NOT giving him any money. I plan to get him a gift card to the gas station/mini market (he has to drive to some off campus classes) and a gift card for the local grocery store. That should cover incidentals/emergencies. Oh, and a AAA membership. But no cash. We are mean.
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