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Old 02-25-2012, 09:12 AM   #1
rpcwjr
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First time to WDW without my partner

This is probably TMI but I felt like I needed to post it. I'm going to Disney on March 4th for a few days and it will be my first time without my partner who died in July. We were together for 19 years.

I'm excited to go, but worried about the memories when I get there. We would try to get to WDW at least once a year and one of our favorite things was to watch Illuminations together and steal a kiss as it ended. Just not sure how I am going to handle seeing it without him this time. I'm worried that I will cry.

Anyway, I hope no one has had this situation in their lives. But if anyone has, any words of wisdom?

Wish me luck.
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Old 02-25-2012, 09:31 AM   #2
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I am so sorry for your loss of your partner. I hope you have a good trip and can remember fondly some of the things you did there together.
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Old 02-25-2012, 09:58 AM   #3
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There are several people here who have been in your shoes. Hopefully they will see your post and give you some advice.

I hope you are able to enjoy your trip, even though there will be bittersweet moments.
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Old 02-25-2012, 10:02 AM   #4
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I also have the same worries.
My mom and I have been going to WDW since I graduated HS which was in 2005 (seems like a looong time ago). I'm worried if i ever get the interest of ever going alone I would be more upset w/o her. It was always fun because we were so close.

but now i just feel we have gone our separate ways, emotionally.
I know we all grow up but I didn't expect my connection to her would have changed but that's probably because of the PTSD.

But I hope you do decide to go. I know the memories are still there...

But wouldn't you think your partner would want you to move on?
I know it's hard to believe, but he's still there with you where ever you go looking down on you from above. .
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Old 02-25-2012, 11:01 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rpcwjr View Post
This is probably TMI but I felt like I needed to post it. I'm going to Disney on March 4th for a few days and it will be my first time without my partner who died in July. We were together for 19 years.

I'm excited to go, but worried about the memories when I get there. We would try to get to WDW at least once a year and one of our favorite things was to watch Illuminations together and steal a kiss as it ended. Just not sure how I am going to handle seeing it without him this time. I'm worried that I will cry.

Anyway, I hope no one has had this situation in their lives. But if anyone has, any words of wisdom?

Wish me luck.

Hey - so you cry a bit - Hell I've cried at WDW.
WDW is a place where emotions seem to always take over.
Go and enjoy ... and remember the good times.
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Old 02-25-2012, 11:07 AM   #6
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have a friend or family member traveling with you. I always traveled with my Mom and I lost her in August. We had a trip planned for November, and some friends of hers decided to go with me to celebrate their 50th anniversary. We were driving down, and the lady had a heart attack and passed away in the hotel room the night before we were to arrive at Disney. So that trip, of course, didn't happen.

A friend is going with me in May, cause really don't want to have my first Disney trip after Mom passed to be alone.

I'm sure many things will trigger memories for you, like your partner's favorite ride, favorite Disney restaurant, special locations. Try to focus on the great times you had there and the wonderful memories you made together.

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Old 02-25-2012, 10:57 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rpcwjr View Post
This is probably TMI but I felt like I needed to post it. I'm going to Disney on March 4th for a few days and it will be my first time without my partner who died in July. We were together for 19 years.

I'm excited to go, but worried about the memories when I get there. We would try to get to WDW at least once a year and one of our favorite things was to watch Illuminations together and steal a kiss as it ended. Just not sure how I am going to handle seeing it without him this time. I'm worried that I will cry.

Anyway, I hope no one has had this situation in their lives. But if anyone has, any words of wisdom?

Wish me luck.
It's me again. I was thinking about your situation, and I have the same thing but I try not to think about it.

If you can, try making a few new traditions. Like stay at a different hotel than normal (if you can) or if you can't, try asking for a different section of the hotel so it seems new. If you don't think you can manage seeing the firework show, skip it, do something else, if possible.

the hardest part is going I know. But over coming small obstacles at a time might help a little.

I agree with the other person, try to take a friend if possible...perhaps a friend who hasn't been to disney world so that you can get your mind off things and show him/her the ropes of Disney.
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Old 02-26-2012, 07:55 AM   #8
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Although its certainly not the same thing, when my FIL died a few years back my Wife and I were afraid that our WDW trips wouldn't be the same. He was a great guy who came with us to WDW every time we went. And we went often.

However, we have wonderful memories of being there with him and those memories don't fade. We often comment that it feels like he's still there with us. You may find yourself just viewing WDW from a slightly different perspective on this trip, but remember your partner is really still with you.
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Old 02-26-2012, 10:37 AM   #9
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Thanks, everyone. This makes me feel so much better. Thanks for sharing and for the suggestions. I think my memories will enhance things and I think I might be able to make some new memories, too.
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:52 AM   #10
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Do you know what, it won't be the same but that doesn't mean you can't still have a good time making new memories and honouring the old ones. If you cry, cry...I've seen countless big butch men wiping away a tear when they first walk down main street or see their kids meet Mickey.
Like everyone else has said, if there is someone with you it might help but doing things alone can be amazing too - maybe you can catch up with someone off here who is visiting at the same time as you.

Oh and big hugs
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Old 02-26-2012, 12:37 PM   #11
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There's a line (either from Dr. Seuss or the show at the now-defunct Adventurer's Club, depending on which web page you read) that seems incredibly appropriate here:

Let's not cry because it's over; let's smile because it happened.

I also love the idea of creating some new traditions for yourself as you also treasure the memories that you and your partner shared.
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Old 02-26-2012, 07:23 PM   #12
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I am sorry to hear about your lost. I been there and gone through this many times. Biggest thing is to treasure the enjoyable moments you did have. Just think he may not be there in physical form but is there with you. He will be beside you when you laugh and when you are smiling. Disney was made for a place of memories in both physical and spiritual. People like me who are one of those few who have a huge heart and many emotions gets emotional on trips because I just feel all the joy and love that surrounds me from other people. You never know you can make some new friends there along the way. When I go to disneyland I get emotional because you can just feel Walt Disney love in everything there. Its a place for Celebration. Just remember that while you are at Disney World enjoy take pictures make new memories but remember the old ones too and remember he will be there with you enjoy your time as well. Always remember to smile.

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Old 03-08-2012, 10:39 AM   #13
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Sooo, I had a great time! It felt good to be there. I was with a friend that I actually know from these boards so we had our mutual love of Disney which kept us going. We have only emailed and texted for the past few years and decided to get together at the world. We ended our trip together making plans for the next time!

I did feel David's spirit while I was there but in a very good way. I am happy I went, and so glad to know that I can be there and not be sad.

Thanks, everyone, for your kind words and great suggestions.

Rob
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Old 03-08-2012, 09:05 PM   #14
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Thanks, OP, for your honest post and your follow up! I told my DP about this post, and we were both deeply touched! I will cherish my time with my DP at WDW even more this year.........thank you!
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Old 03-08-2012, 10:10 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rpcwjr View Post
Sooo, I had a great time! It felt good to be there. I was with a friend that I actually know from these boards so we had our mutual love of Disney which kept us going. We have only emailed and texted for the past few years and decided to get together at the world. We ended our trip together making plans for the next time!

I did feel David's spirit while I was there but in a very good way. I am happy I went, and so glad to know that I can be there and not be sad.

Thanks, everyone, for your kind words and great suggestions.

Rob
Thanks for the update. I'm glad you had a great time!!
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