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Old 12-19-2012, 03:44 PM   #1261
DisneyGalUK
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Liz - I'm loving your trip report! I really enjoyed Hard Rock Hotel when I stayed there, a very cool hotel and the staff were great!

And, I'd love your two cents worth if you'd like to throw it in there! A lot of people aren't really 'talking' to me - like they don't know what to say. A friend I've had for 17 years, who knows my mum as well as her own, has all but disappeared since I told her. The whole thing at the minute is surreal.

We'll know more tomorrow, she has her pre-op appointment at 9am tomorrow before her surgery on the 10th of January. Still hasn't sunk in, at the minute it feels like we are all just trying to get through the days.

Thank you all, so much, for letting me rant and babble on!
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Old 12-19-2012, 04:00 PM   #1262
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Originally Posted by DisneyGalUK View Post
Liz - I'm loving your trip report! I really enjoyed Hard Rock Hotel when I stayed there, a very cool hotel and the staff were great!

And, I'd love your two cents worth if you'd like to throw it in there! A lot of people aren't really 'talking' to me - like they don't know what to say. A friend I've had for 17 years, who knows my mum as well as her own, has all but disappeared since I told her. The whole thing at the minute is surreal.

We'll know more tomorrow, she has her pre-op appointment at 9am tomorrow before her surgery on the 10th of January. Still hasn't sunk in, at the minute it feels like we are all just trying to get through the days.

Thank you all, so much, for letting me rant and babble on!
Yes, people will totally do that - disappear. They will all react differently. Most of them think "panic - don't know how to react!". I would reach out to that friend - let her know it's okay to process this in front of you. All this "we must be strong" stuff is bunk. Total BS. Don't be strong, be human.

You are just trying to get through days, and you will. Get through them. Here's my advice. Besides Stay in the Moment. Which is huge advice and I will say it again and again. But besides that.

Don't personalize it. We love our slogans - kick cancer's ***, beat it, cancer sucks, etc etc. Don't go there. It's not an enemy, it's a disease. It doesn't think - or attack - it's not a sentient being. There is no war on cancer - just the reality of diagnosis and treatment. All those save the tatas things are ridiculous. They feminize and demonize and trivialize the reality.

It can be really hard and brutal and it can just be hard and brutal. It can be worse than you expect or better than you expect. But it sure as heck isn't pink and a teddy bear ain't gonna fix it.

So my friend, I do not recommend bravery. Or fighting. I recommend being present. Feeling your feelings. Giving your mom space to feel hers. Holding each other gently like your personal struggles matter, because they do.

Don't walk or run or undertake a 3 day whatever...if you want to fundraise, do it directly by asking for funds for the places near you doing the research and good work of helping cancer patients.

Talk to the social workers who show up, hanging on the fringes. Talk to support groups. Talk, if it helps. Be real. Be yourself. Do not feel like you have to wear the armor because you joined this club.

Also, there is not gift of cancer, so spit that back out if someone tries to sell you that, too. You might find your family changing in good ways because of this, and that's great but really - it's not a gift. We would all trade our ignorance for health, in a heartbeat.

And just get through one day, then the next. a plan helps, a plan is great and I hope you guys get a good one. But in the absence of a plan, just be. It's okay to be sad and happy in the same 2 second span.

And post anything you need to, okay?
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Old 12-19-2012, 04:51 PM   #1263
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeptemberGirl

Yes, people will totally do that - disappear. They will all react differently. Most of them think "panic - don't know how to react!". I would reach out to that friend - let her know it's okay to process this in front of you. All this "we must be strong" stuff is bunk. Total BS. Don't be strong, be human.

You are just trying to get through days, and you will. Get through them. Here's my advice. Besides Stay in the Moment. Which is huge advice and I will say it again and again. But besides that.

Don't personalize it. We love our slogans - kick cancer's ***, beat it, cancer sucks, etc etc. Don't go there. It's not an enemy, it's a disease. It doesn't think - or attack - it's not a sentient being. There is no war on cancer - just the reality of diagnosis and treatment. All those save the tatas things are ridiculous. They feminize and demonize and trivialize the reality.

It can be really hard and brutal and it can just be hard and brutal. It can be worse than you expect or better than you expect. But it sure as heck isn't pink and a teddy bear ain't gonna fix it.

So my friend, I do not recommend bravery. Or fighting. I recommend being present. Feeling your feelings. Giving your mom space to feel hers. Holding each other gently like your personal struggles matter, because they do.

Don't walk or run or undertake a 3 day whatever...if you want to fundraise, do it directly by asking for funds for the places near you doing the research and good work of helping cancer patients.

Talk to the social workers who show up, hanging on the fringes. Talk to support groups. Talk, if it helps. Be real. Be yourself. Do not feel like you have to wear the armor because you joined this club.

Also, there is not gift of cancer, so spit that back out if someone tries to sell you that, too. You might find your family changing in good ways because of this, and that's great but really - it's not a gift. We would all trade our ignorance for health, in a heartbeat.

And just get through one day, then the next. a plan helps, a plan is great and I hope you guys get a good one. But in the absence of a plan, just be. It's okay to be sad and happy in the same 2 second span.

And post anything you need to, okay?
Liz - Thank you. For all of that. It made me smile and cry, which I really needed.

I'm meeting my friend on Saturday, I'll talk to her and reach out.

The part about 'pink' made me laugh, for the sole reason that I was sat with my mum at the hospital and she randomly blurted out "if anyone tries to make me a poster girl or tie a pink ribbon round me I'm going to throw it at them". It was so random (with a few f-bombs in the middle) that you couldn't help but laugh. But, she knows. The ribbons, teddy bears, walks and heartfelt adverts aren't going to help her. Her breast nurse, who drives am hour each way just to see my mum, now SHE'S going to help.

So again my friend, thank you. For your honesty, and taking the time to reply with everything else you have going on. I really appreciate it.
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Old 12-20-2012, 12:17 PM   #1264
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Lisa, I just love you. Yep, I really do. No matter what, you make me smile when I read you. I can't help it. That is all.

Ok, it's not ALL...but at this point I'm doing the Ostrich about other things. Head in the sand, plugging along with a lot of work and holiday stuff. I won't turn on the news. I started to type more, but I cannot express myself well and so I just keep avoiding the whole thing.
Well do you still love me when I've failed to get over to your TR? Oh Karen, I'm sorry I haven't been over. I've read probably half of it and loved it but haven't been over in awhile. I should have - there is no lovelier of a distraction.

How is Rey doing? Better? I'm hoping.

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CT. I'm on a news fast. I read what I think is critical and not the rest. No more images. As a mother, it's heartbreaking. As a social worker, i want to effect change. but I can't if I OD on it.


Kelly. I feel what you are going through. If you want a companion, I am here. My only advice is don't jump ahead. Just deal with what you know when you know it. I have lots more to say but it mostly involves rants on how we, as a society, see and deal with breast cancer. So I will shut up and if you want my two cents, I will throw it in. xoxo.

Lisa - Jean the actress! I wish I could see her. Good for her for telling the truth - bad that they let her go over it. I approve of her Christmas outfit. Please give her my love, okay?

Takeaway - that is NOT a NJ term at all. That used to be what they called counter service places in the UK, back when I was there. It's one of my affections to use it.

Sciatic nerve out of the blue! I was in such pain. Only scampering helped. Slow made it worse.

Butter beer is like a frothy cream soda. It's quite yummy and very sweet.


My last classes of the term are Friday! I am done with all assignments, which is pretty wonderful, I have to say!
I thought it was British and didn't trust myself. Bullocks!!! We pick up a lot here into our vernacular but not takeaway.

I can't imagine the sciatic Liz. Oh Lord. Kelly, how are you these days?

And Megan - what Liz said is exactly what I was trying to say. I mean feelings are cathartic for sure - I know that in my life and too many times people spend time trying to avoid when feeling is a more positive action. But it's very easy to take in too much. A fine line at times. And especially with that tragedy and intense pain.

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So we last left us leaving IOA and being very honest with the survey guy. Good.

We headed to city walk. My sciatica was starting to dissipate.Yeah! We stopped at Pat O'Briens because I knew Amiee and Kat had eaten there. And they had a piano bar! Is this a chain because I believe we have one. Ignore me I'm a babbling!

At first it looked like we were going to have to wait for a table and not get food service at the bar or piano room. But a nice host helped us out, asking guys to move over at the bar, getting us seated and some hints about the piano room. We had a good meal here and one drink. Then we headed to the piano room.

We found a nice German couple with two extra chairs Well, I think they were German. He knew every song, the cheesier the better, and they spoke German. I loved these sentences!!!They smiled and did Cheers with us over drinks, and he sang bad songs loudly. It was funny. We settled in and stayed there until late. The patrons here were much much friendlier than at Jellyrolls. Tell me. Expand on this one. Obviously WDW Jellyrolls are not friendly but details needed. Like omg so friendly! I found the universal staff very friendly in general. But the patrons here were remarkably nicer than at Jellyrolls.

I drank a lot of corona and got giggly. So cute!

There were two women about our age, all dressed up, who were totally divorcees looking for older guys. They would go from guy group to guy group.Do I need pointers? God, I'm such an introvert. The younger, 20's age, liked them. So did the late 40's. They were such players these women! They never stopped. A lot of lap sitting and picture taking. I was shaking my head at them but they were super nice to us. Like we were all in this crazy life together. Funny! I think at the end, the one ended up talking to a seemingly nice seemingly nice. Made me laugh. Remembered my aunt's line. Lisa, you know what the best thing about my dating life is/was? I never picked up any stalkers. Seriously!!!! late 40's guy. Look at you taking everyone in!

It was a good night but overall we just preferred the staff at Jellyrolls. Nicer waitresses and a nicer bathroom and we like the Jellyrolls style piano bar better.Details. Jodi has been to a lot of piano bars in various cities She would love Montreal - has she been? including this chain Looky here. Lisa didn't read well. and she just likes the Jellyrolls style better.

We looked for quick (drunk girl) food in vain on our way home and ended up ordering room service.Love it. Fast and efficient and friendly. Seriously we were like reviewers on this trip! We ate beach club, Kitchen and room service!

Had a good long sleep and then woke up, showered and packed. Checked our bags with bell services and went to the pool. We spent a nice two hours there and had poolside lunch. What a great holiday. We liked the beach club food best of all. Great wait staff too. I made Jodi drink poolside cocktails!

Our van to the airport was even nicer than the first one and it was a lovely quiet ride to the airport. There might have been napping involved. Might have been. We were super happy with these transfers. Easy peasy puddin' and pie - Lord I need sleep!

We checked luggage and then shopped at the Disney store before going through security. Got some last minute souvenirs for our kids! Nice. How is Genevieve? And I'm saying it English style. Oh Liz. Just made me think of your mom!

We had a nice flight home and watched Brave for free! Is is good? Never seen it. Don't know any of the recent characters. I'll be at WDW going WHO THE HE!! ARE YOU?

All in all it was a very relaxing trip. Highlights were Harry potter land, and the resort. It was just what we needed. We loved not feeling the "must be in the park" pressure. Not having all this history with the place was awesome. It allowed us to relax more.

We talked about what kind of girls trip we would do in the future Nice Liz. Wonderful. and what we would do with our girls. It was fun! I'm always sad we can't live in vacation land!!!
Loved it all Liz.
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Old 12-20-2012, 12:19 PM   #1265
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Oh Lord - NONE of my colours worked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll try to fix it later Liz.
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Old 12-20-2012, 12:25 PM   #1266
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Liz - I'm loving your trip report! I really enjoyed Hard Rock Hotel when I stayed there, a very cool hotel and the staff were great!

And, I'd love your two cents worth if you'd like to throw it in there! A lot of people aren't really 'talking' to me - like they don't know what to say. A friend I've had for 17 years, who knows my mum as well as her own, has all but disappeared since I told her. The whole thing at the minute is surreal.

We'll know more tomorrow, she has her pre-op appointment at 9am tomorrow before her surgery on the 10th of January. Still hasn't sunk in, at the minute it feels like we are all just trying to get through the days.

Thank you all, so much, for letting me rant and babble on!
Kelly, you're both in my thoughts. And I hope that the day went - well as good as can be. Much love.

I so understood your thoughts about loved ones. People are different, eh? I believe that many people are so scared of saying something wrong that they say nothing. And then there is this lonely echo, eh? And that can bring up so many feelings. Some not nice.

I've experienced it. It hurts. So good on you for just facing it head on with your friend.

And good on Liz for being there and giving you such wonderful guidance. It gives me great peace - for both of you actually.

Quote:
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Liz - Thank you. For all of that. It made me smile and cry, which I really needed.

I'm meeting my friend on Saturday, I'll talk to her and reach out.

The part about 'pink' made me laugh, for the sole reason that I was sat with my mum at the hospital and she randomly blurted out "if anyone tries to make me a poster girl or tie a pink ribbon round me I'm going to throw it at them". It was so random (with a few f-bombs in the middle) that you couldn't help but laugh. But, she knows. The ribbons, teddy bears, walks and heartfelt adverts aren't going to help her. Her breast nurse, who drives am hour each way just to see my mum, now SHE'S going to help.

So again my friend, thank you. For your honesty, and taking the time to reply with everything else you have going on. I really appreciate it.
The bold is such a surprise! You're NOTHING like her.
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Old 12-20-2012, 12:33 PM   #1267
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So I did weigh in on the 15th - just didn't feel like talking about weight with everything going on.

But I was ecstatic. Weirdly so. It was a small loss - .4 but meant so much to me. More than any other week. Long story.

So I'll do the 15th and 30th here... but this month will be 15th only.

The WW leader is still there. So another indication that I made the best choice and good on me for trusting my gut. It's obviously permanent or an extended absence for her - the one I adored.

Hard couple of weeks for me. Lots going on - family. And today - well I lost someone precious to me - geez seven years ago - unbelievable oh Lord - she was young and it was sudden and her mother is in ongoing tremendous pain despite strength to live on - especially this time of year. Of course. As any of you mothers would be.

Got to run - will fix my colour fiasco later.
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Old 12-20-2012, 01:45 PM   #1268
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Thank you ladies for sharing all your thoughts. I tend to read the new not watch because I can control what I read better. I want to be informed but not to the extent they sometimes put on tv. I think it was compounded by parents being in a panic. I'm dealing much better with my feelings about what happened in CT.

I think it's just an emotional holiday year for me anyways and I find myself easily emotional. Work has also not helped. I keep joking that right now I'm a combination of Bob Cratchit and George Bailey. (From A Christmas Carol and Its a Wonderful Life.) I have to work Christmas Eve till 2 and I have no heat in my room and then they messed up my paycheck for today and I only got a small part of my check. I mean in the the grad scheme of things it's minor but it's just me laughing and saying of course that would all happen to me. Ahhhh well.

I will be back later to respond to everything and finally start sharing some stories from my trip. I'm looking forward to sharing stories, there were some great moments on this trip.
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Old 12-21-2012, 06:11 AM   #1269
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Megan - no heat - what the heck? Can't wait to hear all about the trip.

Listen I'm going to very busy in the next while and then off to WDW so I think I will wish you all a Merry Christmas now just in case. I'm afraid I'll get too busy. Oh and I don't know if I told you Nathan and Annie and the kids will be down with us for part of our holidays - including baby Xavier. Avayah told us there is no bus the plane flies right into WDW.

Liz, please know you're in my thoughts during this holiday time - missing her so much. Much love.

Kelly - I hope the day went okay.

And love to everyone.

Nancy - Don't make me sing!!!!
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Old 12-31-2012, 10:44 AM   #1270
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I am NOT getting updates!!!! So here I am, checking. I will reply to the posts individually!!!
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Old 01-03-2013, 02:03 AM   #1271
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Happy new year everyone!

Lots to say, can't be bothered to say them
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:40 PM   #1272
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<sigh> Lots of ugly happening in my life these days. Deaths, family struggles, car accidents (no injuries, thankfully). Stuff that collectively has really been a major downer!

Good news? Two things. First, I didn't gain any weight thru the holidays and even better? In 2 days I leave for WDW. Stephen is running the Mickey marathon. I'm spectating this time around.

Also in the good news front - I'm doing well on my Princess training. I've really slowed my running pace but it seems like I've found a pace my hip can be content with.


Kelly -

Meg - wedding stories. please.

Lisa - hope you had a great trip!

Liz - Congrats on getting that first semester under your belt!
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:07 AM   #1273
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Thanks, Nancy!


Kelly. What's going on with your mom?

Lisa. Update?
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Old 01-08-2013, 01:01 PM   #1274
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Thanks, Nancy!

Kelly. What's going on with your mom?

Lisa. Update?
She has her mastectomy on Thursday - I can't believe how quickly it's come around. We are running around getting everything ready for when she comes home and just taking it day by day.

Oh, and my friend I was going to meet up with - she bailed.

Love to all.
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:35 PM   #1275
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So I come back on here - after 2 plus weeks off - and want to find two things:

How MCKelly's mom is doing. (And Kelly)

And to fall right into Megan's TR.

Kelly, you obviously had/have a pass.

MEGAN! YOU DON'T. Get on it!!!!!!!!!!!!
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