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Old 08-19-2011, 04:01 PM   #136
GettingFuzzy
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It's strangely comforting to know there is a whole boatload of crazy MIL's out there.

I wish I had known my DH was the "golden son" beforehand. Could have saved myself a whole heap of stress. I was dead in the water before I made it through the door... Mostly I'm just indifferent to the woman now. Less stress for me and just annoys her to no end she can't get a rise out of me.

The highlights-

*The first time I met her, she went into my suitcase while we were out and washed and folded my clothes. Then told everyone I made her do it. Like commanded her. I was just embarassed she was all up in my underpants.

*I noticed some socks had been disappearing on me. Okay, I lose socks all the time. Big whoop. On a visit later, I found a pile of my socks. Just one of each (different designs). Why? Just, seriously, why?

*She started stealing my hair bands. Okay. All dark brown or black. So I got some bright colored ones and started replacing them one at a time. Oh the looks I got. I mean, what was she going to say? Stop replacing the hair bands I stole for different ones? Of course not.

*We stayed with them a couple LONG months when my DH was medically retired from the Army, and I came home to find all my black clothes soaking in hot water in the washer.

*This one is fairly creepy and just causes us to keep our distance. She copies me. On everything. My nails grow naturally square, so she files her square now. If I buy something, she buys it within a week. I have reddish hair, so she dyed hers. Only she used really old dye and it came out BRIGHT orange. Best. Day. Ever. DH thinks it's creepy, so do I, so we just avoid her when we can.

*And the one that broke us- She not only steals jewelry (I usually find it), she stole my engagement ring. And had it for 2 months, watched me mope around and even let DH replace it, then one day he was over there, and saw it, just sitting there. I don't know what she said, I'm sure it was just BS, but ever since then, I just ignore her unless forced into contact.

Honestly, if my FIL wasn't so sick and we weren't concerned with his care, we would leave and be happy to never talk to her again. But she's an alcoholic and a mean one at that, so we don't trust her to take proper care of FIL. Once he goes though, so do we.
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:05 PM   #137
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Originally Posted by HannaBelle View Post
MiL's loving their daughters children more than their son's children seems to be a reoccurring theme on this thread. I know it is an issue between myself and my MIL. WTH is that all about?

My MIL did not come to the hospital when either of my kids were born, but she was at the birth of all of the others. Distance was no issue...it is just bizarre. That was just the beginning of a lifetime of small slights, nothing like what others have posted, but my kids have still noticed.
I honestly think she hates my dh because she was 17 and in HS when she had him he had colic for the first 6 months of his life to boot .. I dont know if it was a shotgun wedding but I do know she was preg in her wedding pics... I love my sons I tell them all the time I will still love them when they are grown and I will love their kids as well... of course my ds6 looks at me like I have 2 heads when I say this but its true! my MIL was at my house to drop something off the day I was bringing my ds#2 HOME from the hospital my brother told her she was welcome to come in to wait (which I could have killed him for saying but I wasn't here) she never came in to see the others she handed him a paper thru the door and he said she sped out of here like a bat in hell... nice huh? she wanted to get as far away from us as possible I guess
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:09 PM   #138
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I forgot this one...we never told anyone what we were going to name our son until he was born. Just DH, DDthen 6 yrs old and I knew and it was nice to share this "secret" with my DD. When inlaws came to the hospital when he was born, we told him we named him Andrew but would call him Andy. Can you believe MIL stood there and said "No I want him called Drew." She kept saying it over and over. Here I was half out of it from the csection, hormonal and exhausted and she had to keep it up. I was almost in tears. And my little DD kept saying "That is not his name! He is Andy!"
From across the room MIL just smirked at me and I swear I almost cursed her out.

Oh and she has this dog that is outside most of the time in a big cage and when she comes over here she will pick up one of my kids toys and say she is taking it for the dog. She does it to make them cry.

Her birthday is coming up next week. That means I have to see her. Ugh!
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:27 PM   #139
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My actual Mother-In Law passed away from medical complications at the age of 43 in October 2007. As you can imagine my DW was devastated and was hit very hard by it. Well her Mother always had Christmas Eve dinner for her and her Brothers and her Father even though they were Divorced still came to Xmas Eve dinner to celebrate as a family. As you can imagine my DW's Step-Mother was never a fan of that. So we were over my Step Mother-In Law's and Father In-Law's for Thanksgiving Dinner and my Wife said that she wanted to carry on the tradition and my Step MIL cut in and said "I figured since your Mother is dead it was my turn". My wife sat stunned as I said "are you serious?" My Step MIL then said "You know my Mother is dead too, she needs to get over it and MY husband is spending Christmas Eve with me". I got my DW up and we left as my FIL sat there and did and said nothing.

I haven't respected my FIL since and I have no use for my Step Mother In-Law.
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:28 PM   #140
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Well, mine is not a horror atory about in laws like some I have read, but anyway here goes!

DH has one half brother and one half sister. The sister was our bridesmaid when we got married. Nearly 2 years ago, the brother comes round to tell us that he has something important to tell us. The sister has decided (age 16) that she has gender dismorphia and has decided that she wants to be male, and want to now be known by a male name. OK, so we are supportive and go along with this. I did wonder how I would answer DD when she asked "who is that bridesmaid... she looks a bit like uncle....", but thought it'll work out. The "sister" has now been known as male for around 18months.
Then last Sept DH's mum and stepdad split up (he is the dad of the "sister"). I never really liked him, but what irked me was that MIL had insisted that her DH should be called Grandad when we had DD. We refused and after a few discussions he was to be called Pappy. Then at a family party she had a go at DH saying it seems that we didn't want Pappy in DD's life, so we made more effort to see them.(They only live 4 miles away and MIL has never attempted to come and see DD unless formally invited)
Anyway, after the break up MIL started mentioning her "friend" Andrea quite a bit, and I said to DH, I think she is having a relationship with A. Eventually in Feb this year MIL admitted to DH that yes she is now a lesbian and its a very serious relationship with A, (MIL has been married 3 times, has 3 kids by 3 different fathers and is a catholic).
Now I don't consider myself a prude, but I just feel that I will have sooo much to explain to DD. The "sister" will eventually have a sex change and will have relations with men as she/ he doesn't like the female body at all. And Nanny(MIL) will be in a relationship with a woman.
Some of my friends don't believe that this could all be in one family!!

Just thought I'd share. Yes I'm a bit freaked out by it all. My parents have been happily married for over 40 years!!!

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Old 08-19-2011, 04:31 PM   #141
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I have NO idea why my dh turned out like a decent human being because he sure wasn't modeled that behavior at home.
Because kids of whacked out parents can either follow the whacked out path later on repeating that cycle, or they can learn from it and be "decent' in spite of how their parents were.
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:55 PM   #142
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I swear if DH ever finds this, he is going to ring my neck

I wish that some of the stuff I'm about to say was a lie, but there is no way you can make this many terrible lies about 1 person



to start, MIL is a very very immature person. She is compariable to a 5 year old. She has never held a stable pay until the last few years, she was always been the victim of anything and everything that has ever happened in her life. If you try to talk to her like an adult, she goes into "child " mode and resorts to crying like a child and saying things like " why do you hate me ?"

While DH was in Basic training we became engaged. So with him gone, I tried to develop a relationship with her.

I came to pick her up one time, since she didn't have a car to drive, to come over for dinner. She was sssssooooooooooo drunk. She kept asking me to stop at the store so she could by some drinks. I had DD in the back seat. She kept going on and on about how she didn't like to shave her privates . So by the time we got to our apt complex, I about had enough. I stopped at the mail center and got out and checked the mail. I got back to the car and she looks at me and says " now if this dosen't work out, if your not good to my son, I'm going to find somebody to F you up real good ! " bbhhhhh, excuse me. I drove her straight home, she sat in the front seat of my car, crying like a whinning 2 yr old the whole way home. I could not even believe what just happened. She put a serious strain on my & DH's relationship. This is not the kind of stuff I want to tell him when he gets him 5 min phone time 3x a week.

A few weeks later, we try dinner again. I come by to pick her up. She is sitting at the kicthen table with what appears to be at least 5 pounds of pot. Sitting there with her friend bagging it up. Now, I kid you not before that say I'd never seen pot in person in my life. I said to her " oh, looks like your busy " grabbed DD, got in the car and left.

A few weeks later she calls me drunk off her rocker and just wants to check in with my and see if I'm being a good girl to her son ( e: am I cheating on her son while he's away at Basic )

When DH comes home from Basic and AIT, we had 7 days til the wedding.

One day I get a strange phone call out of the blue from one of DH aunts. I dont know this person, I've never met her, I have no idea who she is. She is calling to find out what hotel we have on RSVP for our wedding party ? hhuuuhh? we didn't invite anybody from out of town. DH and I paid 100% for everything in our wedding. We could afford a small place with like 30 people. Oh, well. DH's mom had invited all 4 of her sisters, all their kids and family, Like 30 additional people ! WWWWHHHHAAAATTTTTTTT ? ? ? ?

UUmmm, no. I am the bride, I'm not bring rude, but we can only afford X and we had to very carefully select the people to invite, we weren't able to afford to invite all of our own friends, and they understood we were paying and just didn't have the $. So, I have this person on the phone, asking about hotels. Saying that like 20 more people are coming, in 3 days, they have already purchase last minute EXPENSIVE flights, booked hotels, etc and what not. I was FFLLOORRREEDDD. I could not even believe this.

I almost had a serious breakdown before the wedding, How can we afford all these other people. I called the vendor and begged & begged for a discount, we were able to scale down the whole wedding and meals and all and only have to pay like $300 more. So some how we were able to swing it and they all come. But here is the thing : they are ALLLL normal. every single one of them.

A few months later DD and I move to Europe to join DH. She is calling all the freaking time, cryin on the phone about dosen't have $ for this, dosen't have $ for that, please send me $. The elec got turned off 2 weeks ago, I got the final notice for the water, etc. I did not send her 1 penny. Out of the compasion of my heart, I called over the phone and paid the min to the companies, to get the services turned back on.

While the many times DH was deployed, she would call me and ask me if I was " being a good wife, while he was gone " ( do you see a theme here )

While she lived back in FL, she was a vet tech. She worked at the same place for years and years and had been stealing from them for just as long. She would steal immunizations and do them at her home on the side. She would do all kinds of illegal stuff at her home on the side. She would steal supplies and sell them, food, anything she could get her hands on.


Well, one day, she was down at the river, drunk and high as a kite, fell and broke her ankle. But she didn't go to the doc/urgent care / ER because she knew she would get arrested, as she was on probabtion from her 2 previous DUI's. So she wated 2 days before going to the doc. Of course it was broken. But she did't have ins. So here she is on the phone again, crying for us to pay for the bill and that they won't even put at cast on it til we call the hosptial and pay some of the cost for the cast. ( what a liar, you can not be refused medical care for inability to pay) Alas, I call the hospital and pay like $500 over the phone. Of course she milked it for all it was worth, and as much pain meds from the doc as possible.

She tried to return the work the next day. The VET sent her home and said you can't be at work like that, you need to go home and rest for a few days. Knowing that she won't get paid, she steals more vet supplies and has all kinds of people in and out of her house for the week, getting services. Well one of her co-worked found out, told the VET and he fired her.

So now here she is broken ankle, can't walk, dosen't have any $, gets fired for stealing, who does she call ? nnoooooooo, you got yourself in this mess. She eneded up leaving FL in her car, with all she could fit in her car, driving to TN and moving into her sisters basement.

This is all in the first 2 years of DH and I being married. Do I need to go on ?



Also, one of my biggest pet peeves is that she contanstanly asks for DD's old clothes. She is a very small adult. She wears like a childs size 12 So as DH outgrows her clothes, we get through her drawers and bag the clothes for garage sale. Somehow on multiple times, it's turned into a fashion show on grand-ma with DD's too small clothes ( gesh, thank you for making my child more self-concious) and - "oohhh, look how cute grandma is ", yes, of course you are cute, you're wearing the clothes I purchased for my kid.




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Old 08-19-2011, 05:08 PM   #143
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t she goes into "child " mode and resorts to crying like a child

















I am curious, does she "fake" cry I mean does she cry and nothing comes out in the way of tears? if so, never trust a dry crier. It isn't that she is immature, she has learned how to "manipulate" by doing that. Narcissitic behavior sucks. Hence she is the victim of everything, oh poor me blah blah blah.
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:09 PM   #144
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[QUOTE=GettingFuzzy;42314318*I noticed some socks had been disappearing on me. Okay, I lose socks all the time. Big whoop. On a visit later, I found a pile of my socks. Just one of each (different designs). Why? Just, seriously, why?

*She started stealing my hair bands. Okay. All dark brown or black. So I got some bright colored ones and started replacing them one at a time. Oh the looks I got. I mean, what was she going to say? Stop replacing the hair bands I stole for different ones? Of course not.

*And the one that broke us- She not only steals jewelry (I usually find it), she stole my engagement ring. And had it for 2 months, watched me mope around and even let DH replace it, then one day he was over there, and saw it, just sitting there. I don't know what she said, I'm sure it was just BS, but ever since then, I just ignore her unless forced into contact.

[/QUOTE]

She was collecting your things for voodoo. And I'm dead serious. My MIL practices voodoo (not sucessfully thank goodness) and reads tarot cards obsessively. I must have been told a million times in the last 25 years that toady's the last day of my life. I guess it was all wishful thinking on her part!



It sounds funny but my MIL really does practice those things & I'm sure she has a drawer full of vodoo dolls of me at her house!
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:10 PM   #145
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I got my DW up and we left as my FIL sat there and did and said nothing.
I just wanted to say that you rock for being supportive of your wife like that. Some people would have just say there like your FIL and did or say nothing and pretend that nothing happened.
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:44 PM   #146
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4) my parents invited them to their big anniversary party. MIL was going around finding empty seats and drinking the glass of champagne that was at the empty places.
My grandma did that at my sister's wedding reception! [Which could count because she is my dad's MIL]
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Old 08-19-2011, 06:08 PM   #147
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MiL's loving their daughters children more than their son's children seems to be a reoccurring theme on this thread. I know it is an issue between myself and my MIL. WTH is that all about?

My MIL did not come to the hospital when either of my kids were born, but she was at the birth of all of the others. Distance was no issue...it is just bizarre. That was just the beginning of a lifetime of small slights, nothing like what others have posted, but my kids have still noticed.
Maybe that's my MIL's problem??? She was there for the births of both of dh's sisters' kids. Then again my SIL was 21 and 23 when they were born. When I was expecting my first, MIL just brought up in conversation that she expected to be in the delivery room. DH and I hadn't really discussed it and I was a bit shocked by her demand. My response was that her presence was not required at the conception so it would not be needed at the birth. I was just astounded that she assumed that she would be welcome and didn't ask, just told me.

Just for giggles, I later asked my mom if she wanted to be there and she said that she could not stand to watch me go through that and she'd be happy to wait for a phone call. My dh told me that his mom did harass him another time and told him she wanted to be there and she should be there. Thank goodness he told her that it was our decision, we discussed it and didn't want to share the birth with anyone else.

It probably would have been moot anyhow. I had a very difficult delivery, they had students observing and the NICU team was there as well. I am pretty certain any additional spectators beyond dh would have been asked to leave.

I guess I sank my own ship that day, but I just could not believe that my MIL could be so presumtious.

I don't mind when she makes nasty comments to me and believe me she manages to work them in frequently. I get mad that she gets to my DH with her crap and worse yet, when my kids reached the age that they began to understand that gma was all talk and no action. She always would promise to do stuff with them and then not show up. When they were little, I wouldn't tell them so they never knew, but they got older and she started talking to them directly. You never saw two sadder faces than the day she told them she would take them to the movies and never showed up. When I called to ask her if they were coming, I just was given a lame excuse. I don't think my FIL is nearly as bad as she is, but I do fault him for not standing up to her and doing the right thing.
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Old 08-19-2011, 06:23 PM   #148
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Originally Posted by TaraPA View Post
She was collecting your things for voodoo. And I'm dead serious. My MIL practices voodoo (not sucessfully thank goodness) and reads tarot cards obsessively. I must have been told a million times in the last 25 years that toady's the last day of my life. I guess it was all wishful thinking on her part!



It sounds funny but my MIL really does practice those things & I'm sure she has a drawer full of vodoo dolls of me at her house!
I wouldn't doubt it. We are talking about a woman who makes up spanish words for the dogs as "signals". Both the dogs and I just look at her confused, like, okay. Sure. I did find a bunch of my perfume not too long ago, but goodness knows I don't want it back. Probably cursed.
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Old 08-19-2011, 06:55 PM   #149
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When I was expecting my first, MIL just brought up in conversation that she expected to be in the delivery room... My response was that her presence was not required at the conception so it would not be needed at the birth.

Great answer! Then again maybe she could tag team with the MIL who gave the s*x book and be there for both events. Can you say "mood killer"? I can just see it, "No, you're doing it wrong. See I told you you shouldn't have married her!"
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Old 08-19-2011, 07:13 PM   #150
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OOoooooh!! I just got a card in the mail from MIL today. It's an "I-miss-the-warmth-of-your-friendship" card. Uh huh. Cards mean jack. Actions speak louder. Act like a savage and you get cut off/out. Period.

She sent a bunch of cards. That one. One for our Anniversary. One for DH for "being-such-a-great-son". One for my birthday. All dated 8/11 on the inside, but the postage stamp says they were sent yesterday. He hasn't heard from her all week (unusual). Perhaps it's finally sinking in that we're through?
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