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Old 08-11-2011, 12:12 PM   #1
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Missing my dad

My dad passed away from ALS on February 21, 2009. I was 30 when it happened and we were pretty close, even though we disagreed on a lot (especially when I was a teenager!). Lately, I've been getting very sad about it, remembering when I was younger and when he was alive and healthy, and missing him like crazy. Some days it's all I can think about and I end up crying a lot.
I've talked to my friends about it and also my mom, but sometimes I think I should talk to a doctor about it. I'm a student and I'm not currently working, but it has affected my concentration.
If anyone who is reading this has lost a parent, does it ever get any easier? I would love if it did, but at this point I really can't imagine it happening.
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Old 08-11-2011, 04:32 PM   #2
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I am so sorry you lost your father. I have not lost a parent yet, so don't have anything personal. However, I think that it is a good idea to seek someone to talk to. If anything, you can speak your mind freely, perhaps with an outsider it might be easier.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 08-11-2011, 06:41 PM   #3
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I am sorry that you lost your dad.

My dad died 17 years ago and I still miss him. Over time much of the initial heartache and sadness I felt has been replaced with happy memories and a little longing for things to be different.

I think talking to your doctor is a good idea, sometimes the ongoing grief can be overwhelming and talking it through with someone may give you some peace.

Take care and don't forget we are here anytime you feel like a chat or a big

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Old 08-11-2011, 10:00 PM   #4
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Sorry to hear about what you're going through.

I lost my dad to a brain tumor, back in the fall of 2010, so 6 months ago-and I do miss him still. I don't think you ever stop missing them, but the wound does heal, and your heart opens up knowing that would want you to enjoy life to its full potential and stay positive.
It will happen very often, that I will get caught up doing something during my every day living, and hear in the back of my mind, something that he would have normally said had he been there. It happens all the time, and those are really sad moments-but I am also ever so thankful that I have those moments, because it means I had someone important and meaningful in my life.

Keep your chin up, and hold onto those memories. It does get easier.
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Old 08-12-2011, 11:45 PM   #5
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My dad died in March of 09. I miss him terribly. I don't think you ever get over it you get used to it. If you think you need to talk to a professional you should. Best of luck to you.
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Old 08-14-2011, 11:07 AM   #6
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First and foremost, to you.

My dad died suddenly just before Christmas (2010), so I've been living with this heartache for 8 months now. I have dreams about him all the time, and I wake up sad because he was "just with me."
I was closest to my dad, so it is extremely difficult to cope. My mom is not independent at all-she never even had a checking account. I have had to help her through everything, and she is only 62 for goodness sake. She relied on him for everything.
Lesson learned from his death-start talking and teaching my teenage girls that they need to be able to do things on their own and not rely on anyone else.

I have thought about seeing a counselor, but I am so busy that I never can find the time. I think I have started having mild panic attacks because I will re-live his death over and over, and start worrying about where he is, what he's doing-IF anything at all. This has really shattered my faith which wasn't as strong as I would've liked to begin with.

I wish I could go back in time to tell him how much he meant to me, how supportive he always was, how much I loved just seeing him, how much his grandkids loved him, what an awesome hands-on father he was, etc. Sadly, that just wasn't/isn't the way I am. I am not a cuddly, emotional person. I kept all those feelings inside.
Lesson trying to be learned: Try to be more compassionate and open with my feelings.

Do you sometimes feel all alone? My husband hasn't lost a parent, and I think he doesn't grasp why I am the way I am sometimes.
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Old 08-18-2011, 06:31 PM   #7
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Thank you for all your kind words and hugs. It really does mean so much to me!
I talked with my mom about it last night (I'm home for a week before the Fall semester starts) and it really helped to tell her how I've been feeling. They were married for more than 35 years, so I can only imagine what she's going through, losing her partner-in-life!

I've always had a problem with change and I think that losing someone close to you is one of the biggest changes that can happen in your life. I also think that when I lost my dad, I lost a part of my childhood, too (if that makes any sense).

I'm really thinking of seeing a counselor or doctor to talk more about it, seeing as how I really don't have any good friends that have lost a parent yet. I DO sometimes feel a bit lonely.
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