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Old 08-06-2011, 09:26 AM   #16
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Good question. Being straight I never thought of this before.

I guess I'd be a bit offended since I don't think this is anybody's business. Basically, stay out of my life.

But, I suppose if it were somebody I had gotten to know well then I wouldn't mind the question.
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Old 08-06-2011, 01:15 PM   #17
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I think a lot depends on context. I don't quite equate the question with "What exactly do you like to do in the bedroom?" but it may not be the best thing to ask right after meeting somebody new.

But, deny it or not, it is one of the many aspects about you that make you the person you are, and as such becomes less inappropriate as a relationship develops. Perhaps along the same lines as "Are you Jewish?" or "Oh, I didn't realize you were left handed!", it would be ok as a way of getting to know more about a friend and deepening a relationship. I'd like to see it as such a rather nonchalant subject rather than as offensive.

Again, though, context is not to be discounted. For the forseeable future, the question will have much different ramifications in a big American city than it would in trouble-plagued Uganda.
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Old 08-08-2011, 01:50 AM   #18
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I'd probably respond the same way I do when people ask me how tall I am... I'd ask them why it matters to them. I wouldn't be offended, but I would use the moment to teach the questioner that they potentially could offend someone with their query.
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Old 08-08-2011, 09:47 PM   #19
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I think it would depend on the context of the question.

I have been basically asked that same question but not in those exact words. I don't go around telling people I am a lesbian but I also don't hide the fact that I live with a woman. If someone asks me if the person I am speaking of (my partner) is my gf, I say yes. It is not something many people would outright assume though. I don't have the stereotypical "look" but am not girly either. Also, I have three kids so being a lesbian is generally not the first conclusion people jump to.

My neighbour made a comment the other day about getting my husband to help me put a shutter up when he is home next. I almost laughed my butt off at that since we have been split up for 6 years. My kids' dad does come around every week or two and maybe he just assumed... well, we all know what happens when people assume. I didn't bother to enlighten him because my sex life is really none of his business because as someone else said, it's not like I'm doing it on his lawn!

Really though, I probably wouldn't be offended unless it was in an insulting manner. I don't broadcast my sexuality but also don't hide it if asked.
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Old 09-15-2011, 08:47 PM   #20
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While I don't think it's an appropriate question to ask of anyone regardless of their sexual orientation, I would not hesitate saying "Yes, I am"

But knowing my wicked sense of humor I'd also say something like "Are you a heterosexual/man/woman/robot, or anything along those lines to catch them off guard.
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Old 09-24-2011, 11:28 PM   #21
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Hi everyone...I don't want to take away from the original poster's thread, but I've had a dilemma and well, since there are obviously gay folks here, perhaps you could help.

My 16 year old daughter is obsessed with gay guys! Everytime she sees a gay couple she practically has a heart attack, LOL. I told her she needs to be careful of her reaction because it would be terrible if she offended someone because that would totally not be her intention, and not to gawk because she wouldn't want that to be misconstrued as disapproval. She has said several times that she simply wishes there was some "universal signal" to let others know that she is supportive and only eyeing them because she thinks it is sweet and just loves love, plain and simple. So, I don't want to seem like a total dodo bird, but IS there some universal signal?! LOL!
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Old 09-25-2011, 06:18 AM   #22
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Nah - I wouldn't mind in pretty much any circumstance.

But yeah, I'd be interested to know why they asked.

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Old 09-25-2011, 10:06 AM   #23
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Again, depends on who was asking and why they felt the need to ask?

I would probably just laugh, and change the subject if I didnt' know the person and felt like it was leading up to something weird/fishy
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Old 09-25-2011, 12:50 PM   #24
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I was at a bar like 6 months ago. Now I've been hanging out with a different group of friends and lost touch a bit with the group I used to always be with. Well this girl who was drunk at the bar decided to come up and tell me why my old friends don't talk to me anymore. She leans in "They all think you're gay." I was pretty thrown back. Not because they may or may not think I'm gay but that if anyone did this would be a reason to stop being friends with me? And you know what her explination was for this assumption? She says "Well all your new friends are gay." I didn't give this girl any answer other than "interesting" and stopped talking to her.

I did confront the old group of friends who all denied this being an issue with any of them regardless of what may or may not be my sexual preference.

I do think it's kinda funny though because I hadn't even looked at the fact that the majority of my new good friends are gay. Guess I don't put that much weight on who my friends choose to sleep with.

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Old 09-28-2011, 11:09 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by firstcruise View Post
This question came up at work today and so I thought I'd post somewhere were LGBT and straight people could answer.

How would you respond if some asked if you were gay? Would you be offended?

My response was that I would say I'm gay and it wouldn't offend me no matter who asked. I've been out to everyone for a very long time, so it's not a big deal to me and most everyone knows.

I'm inclinded to see the responses from fellow LGBT and straight people. How would you respond?

One thing I did say was I would follow up their question with one of my own...Why do you ask?
I dont care if people ask me either but on the same note if someone is going to ask me I would definitely ask them why they want to know.

I will share my story just for topic sake
I am going through a problem at work now involving a supervisor who made several derogatory gay comments towards me . I was laid off and she was promoted to another job in another office so as much as I dont care who knows or who asks I always want to know why because there are still alot of people that want to find whatever they can to use against you in some way or even just to get something focused on you in a negative light. Im a big fan pf people minding their own business at work. You would be surprised at the large companies that will do anything to turn an act of discrimination and prejudice into something else to protect their reputation. Long story short---I told my HR about the incident and my whole office was given a questionaire about ME asking what things I may have said or done at anytime that were "inappropriate" lol. I had to look into legal things I could do etc...but in any event Im going to be unemployed at the end of the month and I have to say its because my supervisor "just doesnt understand gay people" as she had said to me so eloquently. I work for Partners healthcare and Mass General hospital btw My President here is the most effeminate gay man Ive ever met and this was still allowed to happen.
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Old 10-11-2011, 03:33 PM   #26
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I would laugh. I haven't been asked that since I was a teen, but I know I'd laugh if someone asked me now. For a few reasons.

One, if you can't tell from the way I talk, you obviously don't know enough about gay to understand the question you're asking. Two, it's a weird thing to ask someone. I don't find it rude, just weird. If you're asking, you probably don't know me well enough to ask / care in the first place. And you've probably picked up on enough vibes to know the answer. It's not exactly a getting-to-know-you question you ask everyone you meet.

Mind you, people wouldn't get the chance to ask, because I talk about and am with my boyfriend enough that people can figure it out pretty early on.
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Old 10-20-2011, 09:00 AM   #27
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My long standing policy has been this: I won't deny I'm gay if asked by someone... but, at the same time I don't make it a point to advertise I'm gay, either.

Those that I think need to know, know..
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Old 10-29-2011, 10:50 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by firstcruise View Post
This question came up at work today and so I thought I'd post somewhere were LGBT and straight people could answer.

How would you respond if some asked if you were gay? Would you be offended?

My response was that I would say I'm gay and it wouldn't offend me no matter who asked. I've been out to everyone for a very long time, so it's not a big deal to me and most everyone knows.

I'm inclinded to see the responses from fellow LGBT and straight people. How would you respond?

One thing I did say was I would follow up their question with one of my own...Why do you ask?
I have been asked that before. I usually tell them I don't know (just to be silly) But I don't get offended.

I have a very tomboyish daughter that my family is convinced is gay. She is four years old. They want to know what I will do if she is? My response...I hope she adopts because I would love to have grandchildren one day LOL.

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Old 11-06-2011, 05:32 PM   #29
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I think I'd want to know why it was important information for them to have. There are a few non-prurient times that preference is germane, but not all that many. Personally I'd be bemused, since I'm in a heterosexual marriage and anyone who knows me well enough to be concerned is aware of that.
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Old 11-24-2011, 08:21 AM   #30
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When i thought i was straight i wouldnt have cared
and now that i know im bi i really dont care.

There are always people who ask questions they shouldnt...
how much money you make,
are you gay
did you gain weight
is that a wig

those people will always be around.
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