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Old 09-13-2011, 05:51 PM   #1
sunshineNJ
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Feeling Lost

I have centered my life around my 2 kids. They are now 23 and 16. We have always done everything together. We were really close. Now they are older and in the last year or so it has changed. My daughter (23) has a serious boy friend and my son is always with his friends. Of course I know this is normal but I miss when we were always hanging out together. I know I should develop my own life more which i'm trying to do. I just miss the way things used to be. I find myself so scared at the thought of them both moving out one day. Has anyone ever gone through anything like this? Thanks
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Old 09-13-2011, 08:16 PM   #2
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I can totally relate to your feelings, it can be both a joy and a little bit of a heartache when our children start to have their 'own life'.
Thankfully, our son still loves to vacation with us and he loves fine dining so if we book one of his favorite restaurants we are assured of some quality family time but it certainly not the same as it used to be.

We've always been the house where my son's friends congregate and I keep feeding them but I know that once they all finish their studies it isn't going to be the same anymore. I love having a house full on young men.

I am trying to make a concerted effort to make sure I am developing my own interests so I have gone back to uni this semester and am taking a couple of Egyptology subjects and I am really enjoying myself.
Do you have any hobbies that you would like to pursue?


It's not easy and the thought of my son one day leaving home is

Here's a big Koala cuddle from one mum to another
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Old 09-14-2011, 07:53 PM   #3
sunshineNJ
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Thanks for the kind words. I am going to try to develop some interests if I remember how and I might join a gym. It's hard though because I would rather be with my kids. I hope I have grandchildren one day.
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Old 09-14-2011, 11:26 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshineNJ View Post
Thanks for the kind words. I am going to try to develop some interests if I remember how and I might join a gym. It's hard though because I would rather be with my kids. I hope I have grandchildren one day.
The gym sounds like a great healthy option.

My son is home working on an assignment today and it just makes me happy to have him in the house wandering around, chatting and raiding the fridge.
I know just how you feel.

Hang in there.
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Old 09-15-2011, 01:19 AM   #5
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My mother seems to be going through many of these emotions.

My sister is AWOL so she has her hubby, but I'm married for 16 years with 2 children. it was easier when the kids were young, now as teens they DO LOVE their grandpArents, but have so many activities, it is hard to stay as connected weekly.

I have suggested she try groups, ex card groups,knitting, or just coffee groups. She is under serious depression and knocks them all down. It is so hard being the only child around. I feel guilty about it, and wish she would find a hobby aside from shopping (which she goes overboard)..

I think it has to be a normal and natural emotion, and one that I will know in a few years to come. For me it would be staying active. I watch my father and his wife. They golf apart and together, join weekly bridge tournaments, cards, etc. THey don't really seem to hae time to feel the empty next syndrome.

Wishing you love and hugs
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Old 11-10-2011, 12:03 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshineNJ View Post
Thanks for the kind words. I am going to try to develop some interests if I remember how and I might join a gym. It's hard though because I would rather be with my kids. I hope I have grandchildren one day.
Do you live in North, South or Central NJ? I may be able to share some ideas with you.
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Old 11-10-2011, 02:49 PM   #7
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How about volunteering with kids? You'll develop a new interest, meet other volunteers, and interact with kids. Big Sisters, the Y, reading programs, mentorships etc.. . .try going to the VOA or Points of Light websites and looking at volunteer opportunities in your area.
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Old 11-13-2011, 08:52 PM   #8
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I live in Central NJ
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Old 11-13-2011, 08:54 PM   #9
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Thanks, I will.
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