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Old 07-07-2011, 10:40 PM   #16
kaffinito
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My thoughts and prayers are with you!
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Old 07-17-2011, 07:38 PM   #17
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I just got back from dropping the baby off at her mother's house. Her mother doesn't really know that the baby calls me "Mama", but does know that the baby calls Gabby "Dada". I kissed the baby and told her that I would see her in the morning. As F was taking her into the house, she kept calling out "Mama, Mama, Mama" and doing the come here wave thing towards me and I could do nothing but walk to the car to drive back home. I was in tears before I could even get out of the driveway. I feel like my heart has been torn out and stomped on because I wasn't able to go to her.

This has got to come to some sort of resolution soon.
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Old 07-18-2011, 08:28 AM   #18
hematite153
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Is today still your court date? If so, good luck and I pray that M gets a stable home out of it.
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Old 07-18-2011, 12:44 PM   #19
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We go to mediation in a couple of weeks, since much of nothing has been accomplished in the past month. We are hopeful that this will get us to the point where the court will rule for us to be her caregivers full time with all other interested parties with visitation, some of them with supervision only. We go back to court after that in mid-September.

Basically, the paternal grandmother, who is in a 15 year committed lesbian relationship, wants to see her more, which I understand, but, she smokes, there have been child molestation concerns due to some of the relatives that are in and out of that home. I am ok with visitation as long as there is no smoking and there is no risk of her being molested.

As for the Baby Daddy, um, no unsupervised visitation. The guy has anger management issues and I will not let him harm this child! I saw him smile for the first time ever today. It was outside of the courthouse when he was saying goodbye to the baby.

As for F, yes, I want her to see the baby. She sees her about 25% of the time. We are ok with that continuing. However, no smoking, she needs to get a job, and she needs to get out of B's house! She also needs a laundry list of things to do in order to get/stay drug free.

As for B, no unsupervised visits. I can't imagine having her pass out with the baby there with no one else there to care for her.

We want to be given primary custody to do the day to day raising of the child. The baby has been with us the majority of the year now. It's time to quit fooling around and give this baby some stability. She is at that age where routine is super important. She really doesn't need more chaos.

We came home with the baby.
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Old 08-05-2011, 12:55 PM   #20
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Finally!!!!!!!
Through mediation, we were able to reach an agreement that Gabby should have an equal say as a parental unit in the life of the baby. The mother and father both retain custodial rights unless they mess up and then they are pretty much out of the loop as far as rights go. The father is going to get to see the baby more, which worries me, but I am attempting to keep a positive attitude about it. The baby is big enough now to tell us that something is wrong, if something happens to her at one of the other houses. All parental decisions need to be mutually agreed upon, which is going to be messy at some points, but we will deal with that. At the very least, we can try to steer them towards giving the baby the best possible life path. While this is not the outcome that we went in wanting, it is an agreement that we can live with for now.

So, as of today, Gabby is officially Dada and I no longer feel guilty being called Mama! Overall, this made for a great pre-12th Anniversary present for both of us. It just took 18 or so months to arrive.

I can never thank you folks enough for listening, holding my hand, and praying/pixie dusting/positive energying us over the past 18 months or so. Believe it or not, some of the postings that I made here on the DIS were used in the case. They certainly helped me to compile a timeline of what happened when to show to the court.

Seriously to one and all, Thank you!
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Old 08-05-2011, 01:50 PM   #21
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Nice!!!!
Awesome!!!!
Wonderful!!!!



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Old 08-05-2011, 03:40 PM   #22
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Great news!
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Old 08-05-2011, 10:40 PM   #23
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Glad to hear you made another step forward! Keep us posted and hugs to all of you!
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Old 08-06-2011, 08:34 AM   #24
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Congradulations!
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Old 08-06-2011, 08:27 PM   #25
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Whew. What a long saga, eh? Best of luck to you and here's hoping you can now get some approximation of normalcy into that child's life.
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Old 08-06-2011, 08:58 PM   #26
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So pleased to hear that your family is well. I wish that all children had a Dada and Mama so willing to fight for them.
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