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Old 04-13-2011, 09:14 PM   #1
beautybutafunnygirl
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Sister is questioning- should I say something to her?

Hi all,
A few weeks ago my sister left open a web page that was something to the effect of "how do I know if I'm gay?" and my mom found it. She asked my sister about it, and she said she was questioning her sexuality (obviously). The past few weeks I'd noticed my sister was really down and upset a lot of the time but I didn't think anything of it until my mom told me about their conversation.

Now I'm wondering- should I say anything to her? I want to tell her that I love her and nothing could ever possibly change that. I also want her to have the space to figure this out, and since she didn't come to me and tell me she was questioning, I worry she'll feel like her privacy was violated if I butt in there.

I genuinely don't care about anything except what will help her the most. We are really close and I love her to death.

TIA
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Old 04-14-2011, 01:17 AM   #2
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Just let her know you love her unconditionally, will always be there for her, and if she ever needs to talk to someone you will be there.

Thats about all you can say....


Good Luck!
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Old 04-14-2011, 02:49 PM   #3
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Agreed!
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Old 04-14-2011, 05:15 PM   #4
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I'd say to talk to her about it. She may be having a hard time figuring out how to open a conversation like that, thus the "accidentally" left open web page. I know I have a really hard time talking about issues that make my brain run around in circles, & have to have someone drag it out of me - but it's always a relief to talk about it.
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Old 04-14-2011, 06:42 PM   #5
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Unless she brings it up, you'd be revealing that Mom violated a confidence if you said anything directly about the incident.

Instead, in the course of normal conversation you might mention somebody you both know is gay and offer a supportive comment about them, or gay people in general, just so your sister knows you're OK with it. She'll probably come to you in her own time.
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Old 04-14-2011, 07:15 PM   #6
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Ugh this is why sometimes I think the internet is hurting our gay youth. It seems like with the internet a lot of kids are being outed without being ready yet. So sad. BTW if I were you I wouldn't say anything to her and let her come to you when she's ready. Saying something to her might make her come out before she is ready, or she could get angry and deny the whole thing. The best thing to do is just wait. Trust me.
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Old 04-15-2011, 02:27 AM   #7
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Thank you all so much for your responses. I think I'm going to just mention that I've noticed she's been down a lot lately, remind her that I love her, and tell her if she ever wants to talk I'm there, and then let her come to me in her own time.
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Old 04-16-2011, 02:15 AM   #8
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She made it clear, she wants you and others to confront her sexuality. She wants to talk about it. If she had the guts to leave open a website like that, you need to do your part. Otherwise this will never end well.
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Old 04-16-2011, 04:25 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beautybutafunnygirl View Post
Thank you all so much for your responses. I think I'm going to just mention that I've noticed she's been down a lot lately, remind her that I love her, and tell her if she ever wants to talk I'm there, and then let her come to me in her own time.
THIS! this is the RIGHT thing to do.
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Old 04-16-2011, 06:37 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Schotz View Post
She made it clear, she wants you and others to confront her sexuality.
Uh where did you get that from? She accidentally left a website open.
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Old 04-25-2011, 02:36 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beautybutafunnygirl View Post
Thank you all so much for your responses. I think I'm going to just mention that I've noticed she's been down a lot lately, remind her that I love her, and tell her if she ever wants to talk I'm there, and then let her come to me in her own time.
I have an awesome, fierce sister, so I recognize an awesome, fierce sister when I see one. And you, girl, are one awesome, fierce sister.

Your instincts are right on. Your sister is very lucky to have you.
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