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Old 04-06-2011, 07:51 PM   #1
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Toys and age lvl's/skill

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but why does my DD(5) seem to ONLY want to play with toys made for babies? one year and under crowd, more into the 6 month old toys even than the toddler ones.

Yeah, I am a grown up who likes to play with toys sometimes, but this isn't a sometimes, oh that is new to me type of want to play with them. If I let her pick *any* toy from the toy aslie the first one she goes for is always a baby toy. Why!?

She is of avg intel, she does play with age appropriate toys at school, but if given the choice she always picks the baby stuff... am I wrong for wanting her to want to play with the toys made for her actual age and skill levels? Should I just shrug and put those under age and skill level toys onto her wish list next time? (and be asked if I gave them the wrong list.) or do I keep buying her toys she doesn't really play with?

I am just really starting to allow myself to notice how different she is from her peers in 'little' things. not just can or cannots, but wants and dislikes, and how she is the only little kid I know that doesn't come home from school ready to tell me all about her day. She is the only kid I know who can't tell me *anything* about her day, not even what she ate!

It just frustrated me and makes me sad at the same time! Mainly sad because of how much it BOTHERS me! why should these things bother me so much?? She is happy, so why can't I be happy?

sorry for the rant, I just... I knew most of you might understand what I mean by this, and even if you don't, you still seem to understand the need to just VENT. Why can't my kid 'get' things.
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Old 04-06-2011, 07:58 PM   #2
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the rant goes on....

Why does she have to ask why so much, or ask you something that you JUST finished answering? I mean, simple things, things that are not complicated and that most 3 year olds I know would 'get' what I just said, or 'get' why they can or cannot do or say something. Why doesn't everyone like to be kissed on the hand by a random strange little girl they never seen before... well, would YOU like people just coming up and hugging and kissing on you? no, well, neither do they. 'why?' WHY BECAUSE I SAID SO!!! jeeze, I just SAID why, some people jsut dont like it. even you don't like it, so don't do it. 'why?'

and this isn't a 2 year old.
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Old 04-06-2011, 10:02 PM   #3
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My son is 12 now, and I can tell you that he is most happy watching Go Diego Go. I roll with it. He is smart as a whip, and in his leisure time he chooses to enjoy something that is deemed not age appropriate. I try not to let it bother me, but yes, I notice when I am talking to my friend with toddlers and they are surprised that I know all the words to the kiddie cartoons. Such is life is how I look at it. Try not to let it bother you so much.

And yes, I do get more upset that my son cant tell me how his day was. Who he saw. What he did. I rely on the homebook to try and have a conversation with him that he never responds to. But....I will assume he hears me in there and I wont stop talking to him.
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Old 04-07-2011, 04:47 AM   #4
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Hey Singledad

Let her play with the toys she likes but buy some age appo toys and some she just loves.Toys fill two needs with kids they are tools for them to learn with and are a source of comfort. I work in toy design and as least at the company I work for one of the big difference between baby and toddler other than safety is baby is more about comfort. We toy test at some with ASD kids and often we see them playing both above and below age level toys.We see the same with all kids. Now the surprize for me was more girls than boys play younger.

The why question each of my kids has gone through that stage but none at the same age. I answer it with "Why do think?" unless it is a real I need to answer with info type of why. Why is also a way to get you to talk to her.I drove my Mom nuts with the why stage.My brothers did not do why as much together as I did.My Mom told me is was more a girl thing. My boys did it just as much as my girls so I think it is just some kids get more out of it than others do.

A friend of mine and I still can ask each other an hour of whys ending in giggles like we are kids when we get together.We played the why game with each other since we were kids.DH ends up laughing at us.When his childhood friends get together they like to play airhockey.
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Old 04-07-2011, 05:55 AM   #5
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I will try the "why" question.

Many of our kids require hearing things multiple times to imprint it in their memory mode (non linear/Visual)

Our kids tend to be "big picture" oriented so the mundane day to day "social" items are just not important (impactful) to them.

Our simplistic answers are often not satisfying

They need to generalize the social contextual components and that is a complex process for our kids

If you actually record your answers and listen to them you will find that they regularly contain different contend (both factually and presentation) so since our kids want to know the "whole story" they want every "version"

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Old 04-07-2011, 10:06 AM   #6
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Many typical children love to play with toys that adults would deem "too young" for them. I taught an inclusion Pre-K in public school. Not only did my students like to play with the "baby" toys, but often I would have 4th & 5th graders (many with behavioral challenges) who would earn the "reward" of coming in to read to and work with my kiddos. It amused me that they often headed to the toys and really loved playing with the little ones.

I also noticed that they loved sitting in our group and listening to stories and nursery rhymes and playing our learning games with us. I think they enjoyed feeling safe and successful.

Also, I noticed that a child loves to do something they have mastered. Think about how many times your child asks you to reread a favorite story. Or how many times they put together a puzzle they have learned how to do.

I think sometimes we hurry a child to "grow up" before they are truly ready!
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Old 04-08-2011, 06:41 AM   #7
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all of my kids have hit the "why" stage at some point but the difference is our son with ASD has never, ever grown out of it (he's in lovely diagnosis limbo at the moment- currently labelled "complex communications disorder with strong autistic tendancies" (basically he's too sociable for them to be willing to tick the aspergers box here in England, he also has dyspraxia, dysgraphia, is hyperlexic- which has it's advantages, when he asks why we can and do direct him to go read about it himself, which is great, and finally he's colourblind- the latter of which he tells everyone with great drama like you'd think he was about to explode or turn green)

He asks why about everything, especially peoples social intent and social actions (he's in mainstream school- we'll be pulling him to home school when he finishes primary school) it was frustrating and then one of his doctors said to us "you'd ask too if none of it made sense to you" and I guess they're right, J really, really does not get why anyone would purposefully be mean, he is obsessive with rules (to the point of questionning why anyone would consider there to be an option not to adhere to them)

He's an absolutely huge boy (he's just turned 8 and well on his way to 5 feet tall) and insists on carrying a fluffy bat toy everywhere with him (and whinces/wimpers if anyone at all touches it) given a choice he'll watch baby programs with his 10 month old sister and play with her toys under the guise he's "working out the mechanisms" (how things work fascinates him) He's an exceptionally bright boy but just doesn't feel the same need to fit socially like his peers do so I guess likes what he likes, not what people assume a boy of his age would.

I won't say it gets easier but I will say you get more used to it and so does everyone else who interacts with your child (my other kids roll their eyes and just get on with it when he's acting less than normal, my 13 year old will even walk holding his hand in public when he's dancing along singing to himself- she's awesome about it.)

Planning our next Disney Vacation!!!!

Me - SAHM of five
DH - Patience of a saint
"The Tribe" - DD (13) DS (8) DD (7) DS (4) and DD (11m)
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Old 04-08-2011, 11:13 PM   #8
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mommy-on-the-move we lived in England for three years when I was a kid.My brothers read a kids paper/mag called "Look & learn" my Mom saved them and a few years later gave them to a friend whose son is now labled ASD. I do not know if it is still out there but know it was all about answering how everything worked.My brother still have fond memories of hours reading and rereading them.
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