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Old 03-18-2011, 05:40 PM   #1
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Favorite Jungle Cruise Quotes

So I was reading another thread and something someone posted reminded me of a joke DH and I heard from one of the Jungle Cruise captains on our last trip to the MK. As the boat is being "threatened" by hippos the captain assures us, "Don't worry folks, I'll scare it off with my gun." Running to the side of the boat he flashes his gun at the animal and shouts "I HAVE A PISTOL!!!!"

We laughed about that all week, and I laughed aloud again remembering it. So tell us, what's your favorite Jungle Cruise memory?

Polynesian Village (1983), Polynesian Village (1986), Grand Floridian (1989), All Star Sports (1997), Disneyland (1998), All Star Movies (2000), Port Orleans - French Quarter (2001), All Star Music (2002), Disneyland (2004), Wilderness Lodge (2007), Pop Century (2010), Saratoga Springs (2013), and Disney Land and Sea Extravaganza - Fantasy/Villas at Wilderness Lodge (coming Dec 2015)
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Old 03-18-2011, 05:55 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by ZephyrHawk View Post
So tell us, what's your favorite Jungle Cruise memory?
SKIPPER: Well, did everyone enjoy this trip on the world famous Disney Jungle Cruise?"

CREW: Yeah! Yes! (etc.)

SKIPPER: Well, I know I sure did. I enjoyed it so much that I think I'll go around again!

And, again!

And, again.

And, again...

Every ten minutes.

For the rest of my life...

(Stay in school, kids.)
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Old 03-18-2011, 05:56 PM   #3
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Mine was the same point in the ride except instead of yelling "I have a pistol" our skipper ran over to the side, pointed her gun and went "pew...pew...pew, pew..." Like making these pathetic little gun noises. It was hilarious! We quote it too!

We also had a fantastic skipper on our first ever ride. We rode it at night and when we got to Schwartzer Falls (or whatever the name is) instead of saying the joke about the guy's last name being Falls. He flashed his flashlight around on the water and said "hey look...it's Fantasmic!!" DH and I busted up laughing cause we had just seen Fantasmic for the first time the night before and we were less than impressed (We've seen it since and like it a little better now). Where we were sitting for Fantasmic it really was just a whole lot of watching movie clips on misting water so flashing a light on the falls was hysterical to us.
Me (April): Andrew (DH): Caden (DS born April 2012)
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Old 03-18-2011, 05:57 PM   #4
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I still think "back side of water" is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
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Old 03-18-2011, 06:16 PM   #5
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Old 03-18-2011, 06:20 PM   #6
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Old 03-18-2011, 06:31 PM   #7
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Old 03-18-2011, 06:45 PM   #8
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"Please do not cross the center crates! It is a fire hazard! If you cross those, you will trip and fall, I will point and laugh, and I will get FIRED!"

"On your way out, please gather all of your personal belongings, including children. If you leave any children behind we will take them to lost and found and 24 hours after they become the company's property. We will superglue their feet to It's A Small World and we will teach them that silly song in 27 different languages. That's how I started here, I was a hula girl for three years. Just imagine, I was a hula girl when I was 13... it's an awkward age anyways." (I had to watch my jungle cruise video to be able to type all that out!)

Our tour guide for that cruise was HILARIOUS, I videotaped the whole ride and I just laugh hysterically whenever I watch it, he had the BEST voice, it was kinda nasal and so expressive, it made everything about 10 times funnier. And he talked SO FAST.
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Old 03-18-2011, 07:11 PM   #9
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"Please reach under your seats for the blue flotation cushions before the cruise begins".
(My mother actually tried this. They are wooden benches)
Our CM was Beth and I wish I could remember all of the jokes. She was hilarious. My DD would have done that ride all night with her. We now always refer to the Jungle Cruise as "Corney jokes with Beth".
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Old 03-18-2011, 07:27 PM   #10
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Feel that mist on your faces… Don’t worry that’s only the monkeys in the trees.

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Old 03-18-2011, 07:29 PM   #11
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Our last skipper got our entire boat singing It's a Small World inside the temple. It was awesome!
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Old 03-18-2011, 07:53 PM   #12
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Old 03-18-2011, 08:02 PM   #13
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Old 03-18-2011, 08:12 PM   #14
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Old 03-18-2011, 08:34 PM   #15
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I also wouldn't mind if they made it racier!The germs would just skeeve me out!
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