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Old 10-04-2010, 02:25 PM   #91
Tinkerbellarella
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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
Dude. Pimp away. I just love that you used the word pimp.
Mental note: work in the word pimp on current trip report.

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
I used to have these conversations with my mom about the fact that she had to emotionally prepare herself for the fact that Nana wasn't going to be with us forever, and my mother would absolutely refuse to talk about it. It just COULD NOT happen.

Do you know how much it kills me that I never took my own d*** advice? That I never thought I needed to prepare myself for losing my parents.
Believe me. I have been scared straight, unfortunately, by YOUR experience. But if nothing else good can come of this at least others can "learn".

I
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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
It was in celebration of my 30th birthday. Which I agonized over.
Yeah, I don't remember this at all.



I was too busy being a big ol' baby about turning 30 myself.

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
Obviously, it wasn't hard to pick dates. The Princess 1/2 marathon is on Sunday, February 27, so our trip had to account for us being there to cheer on my girl, Tink.
Go me, go me, go...me...

I feel suddenly and wildly alone as I do the running man at my desk...

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
we'll be able to see the Flower and Garden Festival at Epcot, which I believe starts on March 2. And that makes me happy because the last time I went to Disney with Tink was for Flower and Garden Festival, so it feels like there's a poetic justice in that.
And a lot of pollen.

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
So, although I'd talked about the Contemporary, I just could not stomach the price. Even though I've received a rather unexpected inheritance, I still have a threshold for the amount of money I'm willing to drop on one week. And the Contemporary was above that threshold.
But did you throw up in your mouth a little? That's how I know I've reached my threshhold. Just sayin'.

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
So where do I stay in Disney World when it's just me and my boys?
The Hilton?

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
For those of you that know me, the answer is simple.
The Marriott

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
Somewhere we've stayed before.
Motel 6? They leave the light on.

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
Somewhere I love, somewhere that feels like home as soon as I pass under the log archway.
Ohhhhh....




Red Roof Inn.

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
The Wilderness Lodge.
Whoda thunk it?

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
So in the tradition of LegoMom,

The TK Clan
In the Wilderness Lodge
For 6 Days, 5 Nights
With Free Dining
Now one of us is going to need to write a CLUE-themed TR, you know that, right?

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Originally Posted by AshClan View Post
I'm here too! A little late, but wanted to say hey.
Don't pack your 18oz can of hairspray in your carry-on.

I'm going to remind you everywhere I see you.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LegoMom3 View Post
No. Kidding. ...... Dude, I priced out a CAMPSITE to see if there was any way I could watch Tink cross that finish line..... $78 per night to "rent" a patch of sand with a hose and an outlet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



No, no.....not happening! I just won't pay that for a tent site. It's ridiculous.
Oh how much do I LOVE you that you would even consider it?

Answer: A WHOLE LOT

If BF can't come, you're welcome to shack up with me if you're feeling the need for some Disney speed.

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Originally Posted by Charleston Princess View Post
snacking on the Poor Man's Junkie Apple -- apple slices and caramel sauce
LOVE IT!!!

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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
Except that this mom had chosen to wear on this particularly hot day a tank top.

With a shelf bra.

And nothing else.

So when she lifted up her shirt to clean her glasses, let's just say that MJS and I may have gotten a little flash of the goods, so to speak.

Oh Lordy, Lord. I'm so glad this wasn't me. And the only reason I know for sure it wasn't was because there were little ones involved. Otherwise this is something I'd do.



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Originally Posted by that's nice View Post
Does it matter I have no idea what a 'shelf bra' is?
Mostly inadequate, grossly overnamed elastic band sewn into a separate piece of a tank top meant to impersonate a bra and provide support.

99.9% of the time it fails. Spectacularly.
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Old 10-04-2010, 02:30 PM   #92
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Originally Posted by Tinkerbellarella View Post
...Oh how much do I LOVE you that you would even consider it?

Answer: A WHOLE LOT

If BF can't come, you're welcome to shack up with me if you're feeling the need for some Disney speed.
Dude......how much do I love you that you would make that offer??!

A HUGE whole lot!! Wow. Just wow.....


Quote:
Mostly inadequate, grossly overnamed elastic band sewn into a separate piece of a tank top meant to impersonate a bra and provide support.

99.9% of the time it fails. Spectacularly.


.
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Old 10-05-2010, 10:53 AM   #93
Tinkerbellarella
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Originally Posted by LegoMom3 View Post
Dude......how much do I love you that you would make that offer??!

A HUGE whole lot!! Wow. Just wow.....
I'll keep you in the loop on the BF sitchyashun. If he's not coming (no offense but ) all you'd need is to be able to get there and park tix if you want them. The room will be all paid for.

Hijack of TK's trip report complete.
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Old 10-05-2010, 07:44 PM   #94
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Originally Posted by that's nice View Post
How polite of you to wait to laugh until she got off... I'm sure I would of lost it right then.
I think we were in too much shock and had a delayed reaction.

Quote:
Does it matter I have no idea what a 'shelf bra' is?

Those unexpected moments are the best!
I'm glad Tink took it upon herself to clear that question up, because I was trying to figure out how I was going to explain it.

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Originally Posted by Lady Lallie View Post
I've decided that if I had been in that situation, I would have snort laughed, elbowed Marc and Marc's eyes would have gotten as a big as saucers. I would hope we could have kept from laughing while the lady while still there but I don't know if we would have been good like that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkerbellarella View Post
Mental note: work in the word pimp on current trip report.
I have every confidence in your linguistic capabilities.

Quote:
Believe me. I have been scared straight, unfortunately, by YOUR experience. But if nothing else good can come of this at least others can "learn".
I'm not glad I've suffered a loss, but if other people can learn from it, then that is a positive thing.

Quote:
Yeah, I don't remember this at all.



I was too busy being a big ol' baby about turning 30 myself.
You were a lot more gracious about it than I was, as I recall.

Quote:
Go me, go me, go...me...

I feel suddenly and wildly alone as I do the running man at my desk...
Having seen your office, this is now even funnier to me.

Quote:
And a lot of pollen.
O.M.G. Shades of our May trip? Do we even need to discuss that we'll both be packing allergy meds?

TK can haz allegra?

Quote:
But did you throw up in your mouth a little? That's how I know I've reached my threshhold. Just sayin'.
Yup!

Quote:
The Hilton?



The Marriott



Motel 6? They leave the light on.



Ohhhhh....




Red Roof Inn.



Quote:
Whoda thunk it?
Shocking, I know.


Quote:
Now one of us is going to need to write a CLUE-themed TR, you know that, right?
It has to be LegoMom, she started it.

I suddenly feel five again. But, Mo-om, she started it!!!

Quote:
Oh Lordy, Lord. I'm so glad this wasn't me. And the only reason I know for sure it wasn't was because there were little ones involved. Otherwise this is something I'd do.

And it definitely wasn't you, hon. Otherwise, the first time we met would have been a whole boatload of awkward.


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Originally Posted by Tinkerbellarella View Post
Hijack of TK's trip report complete.
Oh, please. Hijack any time.
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Old 10-05-2010, 08:14 PM   #95
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These Little Wonders

Lizzie: Think happy thoughts.

For those of you who may recognize the quote, but not the name, it's from the new movie, Tinkerbell and The Great Fairy Rescue, which Nemo and I just happened to watch today.

You know, I don't always enjoy those spin off type of movies, but I do have to say, I love the Tinkerbell films. I've liked them all so far, and Nemo absolutely loves them. And as we sit and watch them together, I am so grateful for this time with him, when he is young enough to still think that Tinkerbell is cool, and young enough that when I asked him if he believed in fairies, he said yes.

I'd forgotten the origin of fairies, and Tinkerbell explains that to Lizzie in the movie. Just so you all know, Squirt's first laugh was on Monday, September 13.

This has been a really hard couple of weeks for me. A year ago, at this time, I was just getting home from a Disney trip to celebrate my 30th birthday. I actually just wrapped up the trip report, Not All Treasure Is Silver and Gold, Mate. That trip was so exciting for me, because it was my whole core family group, as I like to call them. Mom, Dad, Nana, my FIL, MJS, and Nemo. Squirt was definitely a dream, but not yet a reality.

It's hard because I didn't know that was going to be my last family trip with my mother. It's hard because my birthday is Saturday. It's hard because every year on Columbus Day, my mother and I would take Nemo to Santa's Land in Putney, VT, because that's where the real Santa is.

It's hard because she's gone.

Because she won't be the first person to call me that morning, to fully sing the happy birthday song into my answering machine until I pick up. And even when I picked up the phone, she didn't stop, she'd sing the whole dang thing.

I'm not ashamed to admit I had a complete and utter meltdown on Sunday. I just lost it. I can't tell you how it really started, just that things hit you at weird times, and unfortunately, at the time, I happened to be in my parent's house. I looked at my husband, burst into tears, and told him we had to leave.

The house smelled like her. She'll never walk in it again. She'll never be waiting for me to come over, to bring the baby to see her while Nemo's in kindergarten. I know that her spirit is with me, but I'm not ready for that fact to be enough. To be comforting enough. It's just not.

I want her back.

I can't have her.

I cried and cried and couldn't stop. And Nemo knew that something was really wrong, it's extremely rare that I cry quite so heavily in front of him. I've allowed the little tears to flow, the eyes to mist over, so that he knows it's okay to be sad, but I've never been that open about it.

We were sitting on the ledge of the bay window in my parents' dining room, and Nemo said, "What's wrong, Mama, what's wrong?"

And I sobbed, "I miss Mimi."

Nemo pointed to the sky and said, "She's watching you."

Do you ever feel like God is speaking through your child? I know I do.

I think the birthday is hardest for me not necessarily for all the obvious reasons, but for the more subtle ones. The woman who gave me life is gone. Why should I celebrate?

Sure, I'm happy to be here, but there's not much that turns my day around right now, with the exception of my children.

And this post is for them. For Nemo, who hugged me and held me, and who at five years old, taught me that I have raised a compassionate child, even if I did feel like a terrible mother for breaking down in front of him.

For Squirt, who laughs and giggles and smiles so purely at me to remind me that there is good in this world.

These children. These blessings. I'm not usually one to resort to other people's words to express how I'm feeling, but I really think that this particular song, from Meet the Robinsons, sums it up.

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over?
Let it in, let your clarity define you in the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made in these small hours
These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours still remain

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And I don't mind if it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made in these small hours
These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours still remain

All of my regret will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget the way I feel right now
In these small hours
These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twists and turns of fate!

Time falls away, yeah but these small hours
And these small hours still remain, yeah
Ooh they still remain
These little wonders, oh these twists and turns of fate

Time falls away but these small hours
These little wonders still remain

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Old 10-05-2010, 08:31 PM   #96
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Beautiful post Kat I'm so sorry that your mother will not be with you to celebrate your next birthday, but I hope all the love from your children and from family will help ease the ache a bit!!! What a beautiful tribute to your wonderful boys!! You are raising a couple of fine young men, you and your hubby should be very proud!
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Old 10-05-2010, 09:04 PM   #97
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Crying.......

And that's all I got.

Except that I love you, my friend....

.
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Old 10-05-2010, 09:12 PM   #98
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It's taken me a bit of time to reply to this installment. I don't know what to say except that I understand. I love you my dear friend. And I thank God you have such a wonderful husband and children.

I'll talk to you Saturday.
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Old 10-05-2010, 11:31 PM   #99
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkerbellarella View Post
Mostly inadequate, grossly overnamed elastic band sewn into a separate piece of a tank top meant to impersonate a bra and provide support.

99.9% of the time it fails. Spectacularly.
Thanks for the visual....
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Old 10-05-2010, 11:36 PM   #100
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TK-
I really don't know what to write except don't feel like you are a bad mother for crying in front of your kids. And kids know so much more than we give them credit for.

My DWs GM passed away a few months ago and last week my DW was sad and saying that she misses 'nonnie' Juliana says it's OK mommy, nonnie is watching us from the clouds. (Just like Nemo) We have never told her that nonnie had passed away, she just knows.
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Old 10-06-2010, 12:31 AM   #101
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Oh Kat



And it is not a bad thing to cry in front of your children. We can't be strong all the time. To hide you feelings, at all costs, for them, deprives them of knowing how deep, how true emotions can be. And yes...how much it can hurt.

To share that, at times, makes you human, real and fallible. All things I believe children need to see. To allow them in, at times, is the greatest gift you can give.

To allow them to comfort you back...words escape me.

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Old 10-06-2010, 08:31 AM   #103
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Originally Posted by jenjolt View Post
Beautiful post Kat I'm so sorry that your mother will not be with you to celebrate your next birthday, but I hope all the love from your children and from family will help ease the ache a bit!!! What a beautiful tribute to your wonderful boys!! You are raising a couple of fine young men, you and your hubby should be very proud!
I am very blessed by family.

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Originally Posted by LegoMom3 View Post
Crying.......

And that's all I got.

Except that I love you, my friend....

.
I love you, too, babe!

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Originally Posted by creativeamanda View Post
It's taken me a bit of time to reply to this installment. I don't know what to say except that I understand. I love you my dear friend. And I thank God you have such a wonderful husband and children.

I'll talk to you Saturday.
Thank you. I know you understand more than words can express.

I'm looking forward to your phone call.

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Originally Posted by that's nice View Post
Thanks for the visual....
One of the many perks of being a man, right? Not having to deal with shelf bras.

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Originally Posted by that's nice View Post
TK-
I really don't know what to write except don't feel like you are a bad mother for crying in front of your kids. And kids know so much more than we give them credit for.

My DWs GM passed away a few months ago and last week my DW was sad and saying that she misses 'nonnie' Juliana says it's OK mommy, nonnie is watching us from the clouds. (Just like Nemo) We have never told her that nonnie had passed away, she just knows.
How wonderful that Juliana said that! What a great kiddo. I mean, we know our kids are awesome, right, but when they say things like that, it makes you a little teary...

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Originally Posted by eandesmom View Post
Oh Kat



And it is not a bad thing to cry in front of your children. We can't be strong all the time. To hide you feelings, at all costs, for them, deprives them of knowing how deep, how true emotions can be. And yes...how much it can hurt.

To share that, at times, makes you human, real and fallible. All things I believe children need to see. To allow them in, at times, is the greatest gift you can give.

To allow them to comfort you back...words escape me.

Thanks, hon. I actually was so comforted by Nemo in that moment. I was so grateful that my "emotional" child was so emotional at that moment, and obviously, perceptive.

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I do! Big time.
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Old 10-06-2010, 09:21 AM   #104
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My children have comforted me so many times through my loss. As the funeral home carried Mom's body out of our house, Lily chanted softly, "it's not her soul, just her body." She also reminds me frequently that as long as we remember of her she's never really gone. Wisdom from a six year old.

Of course, I'm not really at a very accepting place right now. So the wisdom seems to go over my head. I too just want to scream and cry at the world that I want my mommy back. The emptiness doesn't go away. I have to clean up her room and go through her things. I have to claim her treasures for my own. I have to live my life with a huge hole in my heart.

Thank you writing this. Hugs & love to you.
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Old 10-06-2010, 09:30 AM   #105
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Originally Posted by shannn View Post
My children have comforted me so many times through my loss. As the funeral home carried Mom's body out of our house, Lily chanted softly, "it's not her soul, just her body." She also reminds me frequently that as long as we remember of her she's never really gone. Wisdom from a six year old.
You know what? I wish I could channel your six year old.

Because the HARDEST part for me is the separation of the body and the soul. I don't want to go into specifics here, but what I had to endure in the hospital really drove that point home and I still have trouble accepting that this flesh is just a house. Temporary residence. I can't get over it.

Quote:
Of course, I'm not really at a very accepting place right now. So the wisdom seems to go over my head. I too just want to scream and cry at the world that I want my mommy back. The emptiness doesn't go away. I have to clean up her room and go through her things. I have to claim her treasures for my own. I have to live my life with a huge hole in my heart.

Thank you writing this. Hugs & love to you.
Oh, thank you for saying that. I'm not an accepting place either and although I can appreciate the wisdom and understand it, it's not where I'm at yet.
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