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Old 09-16-2010, 09:44 PM   #16
2xcited2sleep
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You do have quite a way with words, Miss TK. I look forward to hearing more about your planning and agree with the previous posters that you are an inspiration.
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Old 09-16-2010, 09:45 PM   #17
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I'm definitely here!! And you'd think with all the warnings I would have remembered to have the tissues nearby!!! What an amazing intro!! You are an honor to your mother!!

I'm really looking forward to hearing all about this trip!!!!
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Old 09-16-2010, 09:58 PM   #18
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I'm subbing..

My husband and I went to Disney in November of 2007. It was his first trip ever. Long story short 2 months later he and my 2 year old daughter were killed when we were hit head on by a drunk driver.

I understand what you mean about it being your first trip without your mom. The first time I went back after their passing was July of 2009. It was very bittersweet.
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Old 09-16-2010, 10:52 PM   #19
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I'm here for it all! I'm certain this trip will be different - it will be strange, and hard at times, but also full of wonderful memories. It's a perfect "first trip back" with honoring your Mom. I look forward to hearing all the details as they unfold!
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Old 09-17-2010, 08:21 AM   #21
Tinkerbellarella
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MRYPPNS View Post
She probably called you to let you know it was going up
Nope. It's that link we share in the Force. I just knew.


Kat. Woman. I just want to say this before I start multi-quoting you. It's 8 a.m. I'm at my desk at work. And sobbing like a frickin' baby. I should quote the whole thing. You touched my very heart.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
also known as Tinkerbellarella's long lost DIS twin
Strong the Force is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
I think it would be safe to say I fill a lot of roles.

Wife. Mother.
Um. You forgot.
One.
Very important one.
Capn' Jack Enthusiast Extraordinaire.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
I am strong enough to realize that what I had to endure, what my sister, my father, and my grandmother and I had to endure in the last few days, the decisions to be made, the realizations we all had, the emotional places we had to go to, are something that have changed me for the better. But the price, oh my god, the price. To have to lose my mother in order to understand what's really important.
This brought me right back to those days. To the phone calls. To that raw, feeling, like a really bad friction burn. I have all this feeling and emotion inside me and it's roiling but in a way it's good. I simply cannot find the words to properly express them except to say, you are one of the bravest women I have the honor to say that I know. And love.

And I think we BOTH know where that comes from.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
She's with me as I write this post, and she's whispering in my ear, telling me that it's okay.
I could see her doing this, Kat, when I read it. Visually see it. It was almost like the world moved a little. I'm all tingly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
There was a grace and dignity about her that I can only hope to emulate.
I just laughed to myself. Your mom...she was...so many things - and I barely knew her, all things considered! By the grace of God she and I were able to share some wonderful words (most about you) not too long before she passed and grace and dignity is so right on. But so is strong. Daring. Unapologetic. Like she was the original pirate princess.

"Give what you can, take nothing back."

Quote:
Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
And then, my dear friend Tink, as I like to call her, decided to honor my mother by running the Princess 1/2 marathon in February. And I told my husband, I have to go. I don't care how it happens, but I have to go. She's running for my mom, and for herself. And let me tell you, if my mother was still here, she would have been the first person to book a trip for us to watch Tink cross that finish line.
It's an honor for me to be able to do this. Really. Your mom gave you Disney. Disney gave me you. And I'm so thankful for both.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
And then the next day Tink came over for a visit and to see the baby for the first time, and we talked, and I had a faint tiny glimmer of that excitement that's part of planning a Disney trip.
Off topic - Squirt is the cutest lil' one I've seen in a LONG time. And I've had some sweet Gerber munchkins in my life. He's my wittle Pigwet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Disneywedding2010 View Post
My husband and I went to Disney in November of 2007. It was his first trip ever. Long story short 2 months later he and my 2 year old daughter were killed when we were hit head on by a drunk driver.
This is simply SO inadequate but given the "confines" of the internet, it's what I have to give:

Quote:
Originally Posted by eandesmom View Post
Ok now you really made me cry! I didn't know about the Tink connection to the trip and that put me over the edge.

What an amazing friendship you have.

What an amazing person you are.

Your mom would be so excited for you.

I feel honored to be here.
TK and I say without question that we were meant to find each other. I don't believe that you have only one soulmate and/or that it has to be the person you consider your life partner. I believe in many soulmates. People that help you glow a little bit brighter, a little bit stronger, and you do the same for them. Kat is one of my soulmates. I'm fortunate to have a handful of them in my life and, moreso, to recognize them.

It doesn't matter to me if Disney never offers Free Dining again, or raises ticket prices next year by 20%. Disney gave me Kat and I'll be forever thankful.
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Old 09-17-2010, 09:14 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lallie View Post
I'm really going to have to make sure that I have tissues nearby when I read this. Sniff Sniff.


Quote:
You are so brave, Kat. I don't know how you have managed to keep going but you are very inspiring to me.
Thank you. I don't feel brave at all. I feel like a woman who is putting one foot in front of the other. But I for a while I felt like a woman who was remembering to breathe, so it's progress.

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Originally Posted by SadieDog View Post
Wow, that was excellent reading. It brought tears to my eyes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by creativeamanda View Post
There will only be one first. But I can't think of a better reason for this to be your first trip back. I'm not sure how easy or hard it will be for you. I certainly won't promise you that you won't think of her every minute while you are there. My mom has been gone for 8 years and not a day goes by that I don't want to call her. And half the days I actually move in the direction to call her.

I will promise this: you will see her throughout Disney. Sometimes it will be hard and sad and sometimes it will be joyous. But it will be.

And, my friend, I will be praying for you all along the way.
Thank you for your prayers. I really believe that God helps us when we least expect it.

For example, yesterday was a really tough day for me. Starting the first pre trip report without her and sort of driving that thought home really set me off, in addition to some other things I had going on.

Do you know when my husband brought home the mail last night, in it were two different things for me? A card from one of my aunts saying she was thinking of me, and a card and photographs from a dear friend (I had her husband as a professor in college, and he's since passed). Well, did I ever burst into tears all over again, but I felt like God knew I needed those things then. Beautiful pictures of my professor and my mom (and other family as well) at a dinner party we had when I was in college.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LegoMom3 View Post
Ditto! Wow, how often does a PTR do that?!

But I'm in. How could I not be?

.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Charleston Princess View Post
Here!!! I will be back to read!
Happy to have you here! Remember the kleenex.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xcited2sleep View Post
You do have quite a way with words, Miss TK. I look forward to hearing more about your planning and agree with the previous posters that you are an inspiration.
Oh, gosh. I don't know about being an inspiration, but thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenjolt View Post
I'm definitely here!! And you'd think with all the warnings I would have remembered to have the tissues nearby!!! What an amazing intro!! You are an honor to your mother!!

I'm really looking forward to hearing all about this trip!!!!
Thank you. What a wonderful thing to say.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Disneywedding2010 View Post
I'm subbing..

My husband and I went to Disney in November of 2007. It was his first trip ever. Long story short 2 months later he and my 2 year old daughter were killed when we were hit head on by a drunk driver.

I understand what you mean about it being your first trip without your mom. The first time I went back after their passing was July of 2009. It was very bittersweet.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know words can't begin to express how deeply I would like to offer you my condolences, and can only imagine how you felt on that first trip back.

Thank you for joining in, I look forward to having you here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brookelizabeth View Post
I'm here for it all! I'm certain this trip will be different - it will be strange, and hard at times, but also full of wonderful memories. It's a perfect "first trip back" with honoring your Mom. I look forward to hearing all the details as they unfold!
Happy to have you here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by eandesmom View Post
Ok now you really made me cry! I didn't know about the Tink connection to the trip and that put me over the edge.

What an amazing friendship you have.

What an amazing person you are.

Your mom would be so excited for you.

I feel honored to be here.
Thank you so much for your kind compliments. My DIS friends have been so wonderful, and you are no exception, my dear.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkerbellarella View Post
Kat. Woman. I just want to say this before I start multi-quoting you. It's 8 a.m. I'm at my desk at work. And sobbing like a frickin' baby. I should quote the whole thing. You touched my very heart.
OK, seriously? I need to learn to take my own advice and bring kleenex to my pre trip report. I am now officially crying.

Quote:
Um. You forgot.
One.
Very important one.
Capn' Jack Enthusiast Extraordinaire.
I was getting to that.

Quote:
This brought me right back to those days. To the phone calls. To that raw, feeling, like a really bad friction burn. I have all this feeling and emotion inside me and it's roiling but in a way it's good. I simply cannot find the words to properly express them except to say, you are one of the bravest women I have the honor to say that I know. And love.
Oh, God, those phone calls. Those wonderful terrible phone calls. Remember when I still had hope? That's one of the hardest things to get over, losing your hope. Thank you for standing with me through that, I can never express how much it still means to me.

Quote:
And I think we BOTH know where that comes from.
We most certainly do.

Quote:
I could see her doing this, Kat, when I read it. Visually see it. It was almost like the world moved a little. I'm all tingly.
I know she's here.

Quote:
I just laughed to myself. Your mom...she was...so many things - and I barely knew her, all things considered! By the grace of God she and I were able to share some wonderful words (most about you) not too long before she passed and grace and dignity is so right on. But so is strong. Daring. Unapologetic. Like she was the original pirate princess.

"Give what you can, take nothing back."
That's so right.

Quote:
It's an honor for me to be able to do this. Really. Your mom gave you Disney. Disney gave me you. And I'm so thankful for both.
Me, too.

Quote:
Off topic - Squirt is the cutest lil' one I've seen in a LONG time. And I've had some sweet Gerber munchkins in my life. He's my wittle Pigwet.
We have had less grunting lately, but he still does. Right now, he's my little booger, given the rampant cold virus running through my house.

Quote:
TK and I say without question that we were meant to find each other. I don't believe that you have only one soulmate and/or that it has to be the person you consider your life partner. I believe in many soulmates. People that help you glow a little bit brighter, a little bit stronger, and you do the same for them. Kat is one of my soulmates. I'm fortunate to have a handful of them in my life and, moreso, to recognize them.

It doesn't matter to me if Disney never offers Free Dining again, or raises ticket prices next year by 20%. Disney gave me Kat and I'll be forever thankful.
I can't really say much more other than I feel the same way about you.

I'm blessed that you are part of my life, and quite frankly, I don't know what I would have done without you when I lost my mom. I don't have another friend who even comes close to the bond that you and I share, and I know that you get that, and you get me, and for that I am so eternally grateful. I really do thank God and sometimes wonder how I got so lucky, so blessed to have you as part of my life.
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Old 09-17-2010, 09:59 AM   #23
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This is going to be such a difficult and yet joyous trip for all of you. I can't wait to follow along and hear all the wonderful details.
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Old 09-17-2010, 10:00 AM   #24
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Wow. It's still getting pretty hot around here
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by If U Had Wings View Post
This is going to be such a difficult and yet joyous trip for all of you. I can't wait to follow along and hear all the wonderful details.
Thank you, I'm happy to have you here.
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:16 PM   #25
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I do NOT have a Chicaaahgo accent!
 
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Checking in, even though I probably won't be around much the next few weeks. Looking forward to reading about your first trip as a family of 4!
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:20 PM   #26
TarzansKat
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Introductions

Jack Sparrow: [to Barbossa] No one. He's no one. A distant cousin of my aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice, though - eunuch.

For the benefit of those who don't know, and those who might like a little refresher course, I thought introductions would be in order.

So although you now know that I lost my mom and that family is very important to me, that's pretty much all you know. Unless you deduced by my avatar that I might be just a touch obsessed with a certain rum-soaked, dreadlocked pirate.

Okay, maybe not a touch. Maybe a WHOLE lot.

That's right, I love Jack Sparrow. And I'm fortunate enough to have my very own. How's that, you ask? Well, like this.



That's my DH and myself dressed for a MNSSHP a couple of years ago. And let me tell you, his costume is so good that people stop him in the park and ask to take pictures with him.

And he eats it right up. One of the greatest laments of this particular trip is that we have a sad lack of Halloween Party, but alas. It's time for something new, something different.

So I love the good Captain, to be sure. Savvy? I've been a fan of Disney for as long as I can remember. When I was a child, I dreamed I would grow up to be a Disney animator. Life can take us in different directions, but I've never lost my love of that art form, my love of the parks, and my love of Disney in general.

I'm still an artist, as much as time allows, and my latest endeavors are those tie dye Mickey shirts you may see on the boards. I learned how to make them here on the DIS, and have had a blast ever since.



I'm sure there's more that will come to light in future posts, but that's pretty much me in a nutshell. (NoAustinPowers)

Obviously, judging from the headless photo above, I don't post pictures of us on the DIS. I prefer the anonymity that provides, for personal reasons. That doesn't mean I'm opposed to headless revelry or that I haven't blocked myself out of photos with lots of fun graphics for your personal amusement, so there is that to look forward to.

Also, for the purposes of privacy, I've taken to giving my family DIS names. And I'd like to thank creativeamanda for this next one, which was something we discussed a while ago on the babnana thread, and I knew I wanted to use it.

My DH henceforth shall be referred to as MJS. My Jack Sparrow. Amanda, when you called him that, it was JUST perfect, believe me, and I've been waiting to bust that out ever since.

What can be said about MJS? He's the type of man who can be friends with everyone, and pretty much is. He's always seeking out the good in people, works extremely hard, and is surprised when others around him offer anything less than their best. He'll push himself, and he'd never ask of anyone something he won't do. He's my rock. He's my life, and one of the reasons I married him (Jack Sparrow resemblance not withstanding, the movies hadn't even come out yet when we met) is because he makes me laugh.

MJS is one of the happiest people I know. Very little in life frustrates him, and I remember how he could joke and laugh with his cousins at the luncheon after his grandmother's funeral. More recently, I can remember how he literally held me up during my mother's. I clung to him like he was the only thing that could keep me standing, and he was.

He's been my rock; he'd do anything for me, his children, his family. That included my parents, and I know he misses my mother just as much as I do. One of our running jokes is what to do with our time now that she doesn't need us to fix things at the house or is inviting us to go places. It's a sad joke, but it's true.

MJS loves Disney, it's a love that started with my mom insisting we take him. How many of you knew that little tidbit? Once she heard that he'd never been, she decided it was high time to change that, and so one winter break during college, she, MJS, and I went and stayed at the Polynesian. That was the first of many trips, obviously, that we'd take together.

We've been before and after we were married, with and without kids. We've loved each trip for its own unique qualities, and we're really looking forward to getting back to the style of trip we used to have, which I'll discuss later.

Now MJS may love Disney, and will defend our repeat vacations like no other (which warms my heart) but his real affinity is for Batman. All superheroes really, but especially Batman. It means something to him that I can't even begin to explain. Let's just say that I have a giclee of Jack from the Nightmare Before Christmas signed by Tim Burton hanging in the hallway, and MJS has a giclee of Batman and Catwoman (ha ha Kat-woman ) signed by Bob Kane.

We're a touch obsessive, but also quite lovable.

Moving on.

What was two, then become three.

Our first son, Nemo was born in 2005. He's a beautiful, auburn red head with an unbelievable spirit who never fails to amaze me. He's five years old and just started kindergarten. It's hard for me to believe that my baby is old enough for kindergarten when quite frankly, I remember my first day. When did I get to be a grown up, I wonder?

Nemo is a lovable, emotional sweetheart. He's had a bit of a rough patch lately, between losing my mom, getting a new baby brother, and starting school, let's just say the little kiddo's got a lot on his plate. We're struggling to provide a healthy emotional environment for him while making sure that he's not walking all over us. There's a fine line between love and discipline, that's for sure.

Nemo is your typical boy. He loves his Transformers and Bakugans, but there's a special place in his heart for classic cartoons, like the older Mickey Mouse and Tom and Jerry shorts. He likes to help me bake, loves to play board games, and loves, loves, loves to go to the library and read. I think one of the most exciting things for him at school was discovering they had a library there and he could take out one book a week on his own!

My mother spent a lot of time with Nemo. She was really like a third parent, as she watched him for me for several years while I worked part time, and we spent loads of time together anyway. I'm sure he's missing her, missing the attention he got from her, and struggling to find his way in this world without her. He may not verbalize it all the time, but just recently, he told me, "I wish we could go backwards to when Mimi was here." That's what he called my Mom. Mimi. He calls me Mama. And I'm not ashamed to tell you that sometimes, he would call us the wrong name.

Because that's how special she was to him. We were interchangeable in that he loved us so much.

If you're still with me after the introductory extravaganza I have going on here, you'll notice that I said Nemo got a new baby brother. That he did!

I was pregnant when my mom passed, and one of the hardest things was knowing that she wouldn't be there when our second son, Squirt was born.

Squirt. What can I say about this kiddo?

Honestly, some days, this baby is what keeps me going. It's like my father said after Squirt was born, "Look at him. He's a pure, innocent soul with a totally clean slate. It's amazing." And my dad is right.

Squirt is a sweet baby who looks a lot like his older brother, but for his hair and eyes. While Nemo is redheaded with hazel eyes, Squirt has dark brown hair (which seems to be getting lighter) and when he was born, his eyes looked just like my mother's. They're continuing to change to a blue-ish gray, which is actually similar to nana (my mom's mom), so we'll have to see how they end up.

He's my joy right now. And I don't mean to disparage Nemo in any way. Nemo thrills me in a different way. The things he says, the ideas he has, the way that he talks about what he's thinking is what gets me where it counts.

But Squirt is all expressions and just recently smiles, and the ever so rare laugh. He's a snuggler who prefers to sleep with Mama and Papa, thank you very much, none of this crib stuff for him. He's a lovey and a joy and I just feel like I cannot properly describe how grateful I am to have him as part of my life, especially right now. How I know that I have to put one foot in front of the other because this little guy needs me.

And sure you can say that Nemo needs me too, but it's amazing how self-sufficient five year olds are. Nemo needs me in the sense that he needs to feel loved and secure and know that even though Mimi is gone, I'm still here, and that he has a family that loves him. It's more complex, and sometimes, I'm ashamed to admit, exhausting.

Squirt's needs are simpler. Feed him, change him, bathe him, and he's a happy boy. I've always marveled when people say babies are hard. Sure, they're hard in the sense that you don't get to sleep, but this is the easy part. The part when I can protect him, when I can shelter him, when he doesn't know that Mimi is gone.

And Nemo does. So let's just say that we are struggling. We're all grieving, we're all making our way in this world without my mom, and it's a learning process for us all.

So, if you're still with me that's my little family, or the key players in this vacation of ours. We're all a work in progress, and I'm sure things will change a thousand times between now and the trip, but that's the starting point, at any rate.

Of course, there is one last thing that I forgot to mention.

We're all a little



Savvy?
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:23 PM   #27
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Wow. It's still getting pretty hot around here
 
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Checking in, even though I probably won't be around much the next few weeks. Looking forward to reading about your first trip as a family of 4!
Hey! Happy to have you here! You're so close to the finish line, eh? Good luck to you in the coming weeks, I'll be thinking of you.
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:31 PM   #28
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Love the family introductions! Over the years of reading your threads, I'm really feeling like I know you and your whole family.
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:35 PM   #29
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Love the family introductions!
Thanks!

Quote:
Over the years of reading your threads, I'm really feeling like I know you and your whole family.
Aw, shucks! We're happy to have you know us. And, to think that it's actually been years that you've been reading my threads, I feel like I just joined the DIS, you know?
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:41 PM   #30
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Read every word.

It just occurred to me that my step-mom, who I was very close to, has been gone 9 years already. I was expecting DS8 when she passed. I had an ultra-sound the week before going to visit her (she was in the hospital for something else and no one knew then that she'd never come home) and I wanted to find out the sex of the baby so I could tell her. It was early, but they managed to find his little.....well, his "him"ness. At least she knew it was a boy. I'm still so sad that she never got to meet him. He's such a joy, she would have loved him.

Anywho, wow!....this is gonna be quite a ride, huh?! It's funny, I've met you, but I'm feeling like I'm just now really getting to know you.

.
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