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Old 09-14-2010, 03:27 PM   #1
seaprincess
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One Year Anniversary of DH's Death today...

Hello everyone~it has been a while since I posted on the Boards. Today is the one year anniversary of my husband, Benjamin's death. He fought such a difficult battle with Brain Cancer. I have been swept with so many waves of emotions over the past week that I have found myelf overwhelmed, distraught at times, and missing him as if it was just yesterday. I did not allow myself to feel alot of these emotions and grief after he passed. I felt as if I was on autopilot because I knew I had to be strong, plan a wake, a funeral and that people would be looking to me for answers. They say the first anniversary is the hardest, I am now a believer.

I took a beautiful arrangement of tropical flowers to the cemetary around the time he passed last year. I was happy to have the company of my Mom because I am not sure I could have done it alone. I tried to smile and be upbeat but felt so empty inside. I miss him so much it hurts. I think many people expect you to "get over grief" in a short period of time. What I have realized is you can't put a time limit on grief and feelings. I spent over seventeen years with my husband, those feelings just don't go away EVER!!

Thank you for letting me share my story and for those of you who are struggling with illness or the loss of a loved one, please keep the faith. I look back on a year ago and realize that I am stronger then I thought I would be and slowly but surely I am learning to live life by a different set of rules. People will come and go in and out of your life but love will always remain a constant.

God Bless Everyone!

Rest in Peace my Dear BenjieI will love you for eternity!

October 3rd, 1968~September 14th, 2009
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Old 09-14-2010, 05:41 PM   #2
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I can not imagine what the past year has been like for you. I wish there was a magical remedy to take that all away, as surely you do. I am very sorry. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Old 09-14-2010, 06:09 PM   #3
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Lisa,

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers for peace and comfort.

Your precious Ben will always be in your heart.

Blessings always.
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Old 09-14-2010, 07:22 PM   #4
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Seaprincess, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Grief knows no time, I pray for you that little by little the pain will lessen for you and the wonderful memories of your husband will take its place.

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Old 09-15-2010, 08:39 AM   #5
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My thought and prayers are with you, ijust lost my wife on 9/4 and it is quite difficult to imagine things that far in the future
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Old 09-15-2010, 01:03 PM   #6
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My thought and prayers are with you, ijust lost my wife on 9/4 and it is quite difficult to imagine things that far in the future
I am sincerely sorry for your loss
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Old 09-15-2010, 03:31 PM   #7
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Stitch 1231, I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with your family during this difficult time. I know it is difficult to look forward and wonder what the future holds. I still do so everyday. I am glad you have children and of course two silkies to keep you company and be there for you. Please take care and God Bless.

To those who shared their thoughts, thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot.

Lisa (aka Seaprincess)
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Old 09-16-2010, 09:29 AM   #8
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Lisa I am so sorry for your loss....
I recently lost my DH Jim on Jan 12 this year, he was killed in the Haiti earthquake, we just passed month 8, I've never had to do something so hard before.
Do you have any children? I have a DD who is 10 and misses her daddy terribly. If you would like to talk please PM me.
Take care

Stitch123 I'm sorry for your loss too, I see we have DD's the same age...take care of yourself, that's one thing I learned this year.

You are all in my prayers!

Lisa
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Old 09-18-2010, 12:06 PM   #9
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Old 09-18-2010, 09:13 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2mrb View Post
Lisa I am so sorry for your loss....
I recently lost my DH Jim on Jan 12 this year, he was killed in the Haiti earthquake, we just passed month 8, I've never had to do something so hard before.
Do you have any children? I have a DD who is 10 and misses her daddy terribly. If you would like to talk please PM me.
Take care

Stitch123 I'm sorry for your loss too, I see we have DD's the same age...take care of yourself, that's one thing I learned this year.

You are all in my prayers!

Lisa

I am sorry for your loss Lisa God bless you
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Old 09-19-2010, 11:10 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seaprincess View Post
Hello everyone~it has been a while since I posted on the Boards. Today is the one year anniversary of my husband, Benjamin's death. He fought such a difficult battle with Brain Cancer. I have been swept with so many waves of emotions over the past week that I have found myelf overwhelmed, distraught at times, and missing him as if it was just yesterday. I did not allow myself to feel alot of these emotions and grief after he passed. I felt as if I was on autopilot because I knew I had to be strong, plan a wake, a funeral and that people would be looking to me for answers. They say the first anniversary is the hardest, I am now a believer.

I took a beautiful arrangement of tropical flowers to the cemetary around the time he passed last year. I was happy to have the company of my Mom because I am not sure I could have done it alone. I tried to smile and be upbeat but felt so empty inside. I miss him so much it hurts. I think many people expect you to "get over grief" in a short period of time. What I have realized is you can't put a time limit on grief and feelings. I spent over seventeen years with my husband, those feelings just don't go away EVER!!

Thank you for letting me share my story and for those of you who are struggling with illness or the loss of a loved one, please keep the faith. I look back on a year ago and realize that I am stronger then I thought I would be and slowly but surely I am learning to live life by a different set of rules. People will come and go in and out of your life but love will always remain a constant.

God Bless Everyone!

Rest in Peace my Dear BenjieI will love you for eternity!

October 3rd, 1968~September 14th, 2009
Oh my gosh, my love goes to you sweety. My dad just lost his battle with a brain tumor last night. I am a complete mess and can only imagine how hard it must be. My love to you.
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Old 09-19-2010, 01:08 PM   #12
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Lisa, wishing you all the best, I know how you feel. I lost my DH to cancer in 2003 & still miss him every day. It's so difficult to explain to people, grief is such a personal thing. You must be a very strong person. Your memories will be a comfort - it's never easy but as time goes on you can cherish all the wonderful times you enjoyed with your DH. God bless. Karen
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Old 09-19-2010, 07:22 PM   #13
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I just read all the posts and I am very sorry for your loss- to all that posted!! It is always a difficult time. All I can say is you will never forget but it does get easier with time....my dad has been gone for 6yrs and I still think about him everyday!

hugs to all!!!
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Old 09-19-2010, 07:48 PM   #14
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Thank you all so much for your kind words. It has been the second most difficult week of my life, (next to the week up to and losing my husband last year). It always brings me peace of mind when I post on the DisBoards. There is so much love and support and I am not sure what I would do without it.

Disney Fairytale, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you are going through right now. Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk! Please keep the faith and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Karen, thank you for sharing your story. I think you hit the nail on the head~~the pain never goes away, you gain strength in coping over time. I just wish the sadness would stop. I sat at the cemetary and balled my eyes out yesterday. It comes and goes and somehow, I pick myself up and keep going. I would like to think it is Ben's spirit carrying me.

mommy2mrb~oh how my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what shock and devistation you must have gone through. I hope that your daughter knows what a brave and strong Mom she has. I will try and PM you this week.

Please take care everyone and God Bless you all. Life is such a precious gift, don't waste a minute of it!
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Old 09-22-2010, 12:20 PM   #15
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Quote:
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Oh my gosh, my love goes to you sweety. My dad just lost his battle with a brain tumor last night. I am a complete mess and can only imagine how hard it must be. My love to you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, I lost mine in 2003 from Alzheimers, still miss him terribly! you and your family are in our prayers!

seaprincess - thank you! it was a true nightmare those first 29 days, sometimes feels like we are still having it...other days doing pretty good. I don't feel brave and strong, just determined to give us the best life I can with out our Jim.
Your right about the boards...they are a huge support, I had been off of them for about 2 1/2 years and recently came back (mostly creative community/scrapbooking) they welcomed me back with open arms, support and love!

Blessing and prayers to all!
Lisa
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