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Old 09-07-2010, 11:13 PM   #181
luckyprincess
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Originally Posted by brunette8706 View Post
*
Don't FEED THE TROLL! Especailly the CRASS one. What Puffins said about LuckyPrincess, is ignorant and Crass. It really sounds like she needs better parenting skills if she just let's her kids have a meltdowns, with no discipline what so ever.
Thanks for that, brunette
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Old 09-07-2010, 11:18 PM   #182
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There have been times when I have just wanted to melt into the ground because of the looks we get sometimes. Please be aware that roughly 1 in 100 children are affected by autism, many of whom are on the end of the spectrum which allows them to function to a degree that their disability is not readily apparent to the casual observer. To put that in perspective, in 2009 there were 17.2 million visitors to Magic Kingdom. If half of those were children Magic Kingdom may have seen around 86,000 children on the spectrum last year.

All this to say, please try to remember that you really have no clue as to what challenges the family your judging deals with irl. I try my best to look out for the signals that my son is struggling to maintain and diffuse situations as best I can when I've missed the earlier signals. I have also spent many a meal outside in the car with my son so he would not disrupt the rest of the restaurant, gone home early from an event (or a park) when he's reached the tipping point, apologized for my son when he's been disruptive and make sure I'm staying on top of his tendency to fidget and want to find something to do with his hands. I'm human though and sometimes I miss something. And as mousireid said so well, no amount of 'whuppin' in his earlier years would have made him less autistic.

Thank you so much for posting this. I hope people take the time (if they are taking the time to judge parenting while on vacation) to realize there may be other factors causing a certain behavior in a child.





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Originally Posted by luckyprincess View Post
Lol - what? What does that mean - that people that don't want children are unlucky? I don't get it! Why is procreation supposed to be my dream? Really - that was crazy out of left field! My bf and I have a gorgeous home with a great pool, gorgeous dog, active lives and lots of very nice opportunities that I know other people would like to have - so yes, we're very lucky! To have a house full of kids might be great for you, but to me that would be very unlucky - to each his own!

And I have experience in seeing people ignore their kids bad behavior - and so I'm posting on it
I sure HOPE you don't dislike kids this much! I would hope that if you had a child that you would love him or her very dearly the minute you held them in your arms... that is what becoming a parent does to most people. I am not judging you since I don't "know" you but this comment just really made me sad to read. I just can't fathom thinking that.







This whole thread is just really sad. I mean seriously, you are on vacation, STOP worrying about how people you do not know parent their children and go on about your day and enjoy your trip. Seriously, I have never even stopped to worry myself with the way another child acts. They are children. I am not going to say anything to them and 99% of the time would not upset the parent by saying anything to them either. Now, if they were hurting my child or something like that then yeah, I would ask that the parent move them away or something along those lines.


As for the people who specifically say they have no patience for children... PLEASE not post on this thread and for goodness sakes stay out of WDW. WHY would you go to Disney if you can't tolerate children. They WILL be there. I don't get people looking for a relaxing and calm vacation there. I am not saying not to go if you don't have kids but if you want to go then go with the idea you will deal with children and they can't all be angels.


I have a 7 year old and a (just turned) 4 year old. My 4 year old was diagnosed with autism 5 months ago. To look at him you would not usually know this. We knew before this that he had Sensory Processing Disorder and we had been working on ways to deal with this. We never knew what would set him off. We had to learn as we went. Then there were things that could set him off one day but not the next so it was really hard. We went to Disney for 2 years only taking the older one b/c we knew the younger could not handle the trip. Last year we finally took him with us. We were VERY excited about it. We thought he was going to LOVE it. He had been watching lots of Disney movies, was always trying to sing the songs, loved "cool lights" and things like that. We knew there would be certain things to set him off and knew we would deal with them as they came along.

Well, it was not the magical trip we hoped for. He was terrified of almost everything. He hated the characters, did not like the places we ate at, hated fireworks, parades, etc... It was VERY frustrating. We went to the Tiki Room and he was having a meltdown in there. I had never been in there before and had no idea where to go to get up and leave. I did not see any cm's and was in the middle of a lot of people. I had no idea what to do. I tried my best to hold him against me, cover his eyes and quietly sing in his ear to try and calm him. It would work for a minute but then he would cry again. It was very frustrating and I did feel really bad for him disrupting the show for others but I honestly had no idea what else to do.

The next day we were in Epcot and went to see the Turtle Talk with Crush show. I was excited b/c he LOVES Nemo so I thought he would like this. Well, we get in and again, he freaks out and starts screaming. In this situation I was able to see right away where a cm and door were so I was up within 30 seconds and removed him from the room.

Luckily he got used to things mid trip. He calmed down and started to enjoy things a lot. He liked the parades, shows, etc... He also started doing better in the places we were eating. That is until we went to Tutto Italia for lunch one day. I don't know what it is about this place that set him off. He had been in a great mood and was having a nice day. When we sit down at our table he starts shaking his head and tries to grab things from the table to throw them which he is very bad for doing. We had been working on this with all of his therapists for about 6 months and none of us were having much luck controlling this behavior. We did what we usually do and moved everything out of his reach and moved him back a tad from the table. We had been talking to him and trying to calm him down. There were 3 older people sitting at a table beside us and they kept looking over at us. About this time the cm comes out with the bread basket. Before we could react to move the basket my (then just turned 3 year old) grabbed it and slung it...hitting the man at the table beside us. I was mortified. I said I was so sorry and one of the ladies there shook her head and smiled. The man got up and moved to other end of the table. Seriously, I was almost in tears. I felt so bad. I was very quickly loosing my appetite. We got him under control after popping his hands and having a long chat with him. This lasted long enough for us to get our food to the table. He started to grab and squeal loudly. I had had it. I could not eat. I asked dh to please take him out. He got up and left with him so ods and I could eat. Unfortunately I was in tears at this point and could not take one single bite. I let the cm know and we got ready to leave. I got up and walked over to their table. I offered a very sincere apology to them and the 2 ladies seemed to understand. The man nodded but would not say one word to me. The ladies said they just felt sorry for me having to deal with a child like that. It was just a terrible situation. I have never been so embarrassed. It seriously ruined the rest of my day and all I wanted to do was go to the room and have MYSELF a little meltdown...lol

For those that could have been sitting there thinking we allow this at home you would be SO WRONG. We certainly do not.

I never let my kids do rude things in WDW or anywhere else on purpose. I do not ignore it when it does happen but yes it will happen. You would not find them hitting people with the ropes, yelling or spitting at other people, etc. They know better. My 7 year old is one of the most thoughtful and respectful children you could ever meet. We are constantly told how well behaved he is. He holds doors for everyone, picks things up if people drop it, says please and thank you, etc. We have never had a problem with him. So yes, we have one we do have to struggle with b/c he can have meltdowns and it makes me so sad to know there are people around who are stopping just to judge him or us, esp people who do not WANT children of there own. I am so sorry but I can't help how badly that gets under my skin. You can say you have experience with children all you want but until you have your own and are with them, raising them 24/7 you have no idea the obstacles you will deal with. I worked in daycares with all ages for 7 years before having my own. I THOUGHT I knew it all. Boy was I wrong! I had NO idea. Dealing with kids 8 hours a day made me NO expert and certainly did not cause me to empathize with people who did have children in a given situation. You may think you know (as I did) but trust me YOU DON'T. If you ever do have children of your own you will see things in a whole new light.

One other thing... let me just say right now that if you as a grown man or woman say anything at all rude to one my kids YOU better be prepared for a scene b/c that is one situation I WILL create one. I will not put up with anyone being rude to my kids. They are my children and I will discipline them in the best way I can and it is not your role in the least to step in.

The last thing I had to comment on was schedules... Please don't judge a family b/c you see them in the parks late at night. We are night owls. We love to stay late in the parks. We don't get up first thing to go out for the most part so we generally stay in the parks longer. My kids act better at night b/ they are more awake...lol So, when you see me strolling around with my kids at 12am don't assume we are bad parents.

All this to say enjoy your vacation while in WDW and please don't sweat the way other people are parenting their children. You have no idea what kinds of circumstances are there. What if you made an ugly comment about a wish kid? Would you really feel good about that?

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Old 09-07-2010, 11:18 PM   #183
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Your examples are completely different than the PP who said her husband "nutted up" in the kids face and told him no ~ when he went to his mother PP dh followed the child and again "nutted up" in the kids face and said "no" in his sternest voice.

This is someone you don't even know walking up to your child and getting right in his face. That is NOT okay with me.

People who I know and are familiar with my child is completely different... though I would be opposed to any physical contact what so ever.

PP's DH had NO IDEA what could have been wrong with that kid and could easily have compounded the situation for the parents. It is assumed because he was having a meltdown that he was just being a brat.

Screaming "No" in my DD's face by a stranger would have sent her over the edge...(the oldest one ~ my youngest would just laugh at you).

Hubby got pulled over one time by a cop and DD (4 at the time) unrolled her window and the cop leaned in and put his hand on her chest under her car seat straps without even saying a word to her to let her know what he was doing. She freaked out at a strange man touching her and is now traumatized and has panic episodes when she sees a cop. No way should he have just touched my daughter without A. First telling hubby what he was doing and why B. talking to DD to tell her "I'm just gonna check your car seat"

You never know how someone else's child is going to react and that is 100 fold when you are a stranger!

(**all you's are used in a general you not any you specifically**)
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Old 09-07-2010, 11:20 PM   #184
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Can we replace the word "child", "baby", "toddler", etc with "drunk", or "jerk" and get the same result?

I hope so.
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Old 09-07-2010, 11:24 PM   #185
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Can we replace the word "child", "baby", "toddler", etc with "drunk", or "jerk" and get the same result?

I hope so.
Nah because everyone KNOWS you don't "nut up" to a drunk jerk.


By the way for those that don't know what this phrase means....:

Verb phrase: To involve oneself in a physical altercation, to lose one's cool, or to fly off the handle.
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Old 09-07-2010, 11:36 PM   #186
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Originally Posted by TheDisneyBunch View Post

Thank you so much for posting this. I hope people take the time (if they are taking the time to judge parenting while on vacation) to realize there may be other factors causing a certain behavior in a child.







I sure HOPE you don't dislike kids this much! I would hope that if you had a child that you would love him or her very dearly the minute you held them in your arms... that is what becoming a parent does to most people. I am not judging you since I don't "know" you but this comment just really made me sad to read. I just can't fathom thinking that.
I can't believe that people really think that there is something wrong with NOT wanting children I don't want them - why is that so hard to get? Why is that sad? I don't understand that - I mean, I'm not interested, have no desire to procreate, have no desire to be a parent, have no desire to get pregnant.....please, get over the shock that not everyone wants the same things as you, people I don't find anything appealing about it - do you want a cat? No? Why not? How sad! I've never heard of a woman not having a cat! Having a cat will make you complete! You won't know how amazing having a cat is until you go get one! See how crazy that sounds? Just because you can't fathom not having children doesn't mean that many, many people just aren't interested in it. Sorry if you feel like that reflects on you but I can't imagine how it would...

Also - how do you associate my not wanting kids to me not liking kids? Please do explain to me how that works. I don't want a zebra but I like them. I don't want a private jet but I dont' dislike them. I don't want a cat but I think they're great. One has nothing to do with the other.







This whole thread is just really sad. I mean seriously, you are on vacation, STOP worrying about how people you do not know parent their children and go on about your day and enjoy your trip. Seriously, I have never even stopped to worry myself with the way another child acts. They are children. I am not going to say anything to them and 99% of the time would not upset the parent by saying anything to them either. Now, if they were hurting my child or something like that then yeah, I would ask that the parent move them away or something along those lines.

Well, people are talking about behavior that negatively affects THEM. So if your children (they are children is not an excuse for poor behavior that affects others) are kicking my chair then I'm of course going to worry about how you parent since it doesn't seem to be working out for me, you know?

As for the people who specifically say they have no patience for children... PLEASE not post on this thread and for goodness sakes stay out of WDW. WHY would you go to Disney if you can't tolerate children. They WILL be there. I don't get people looking for a relaxing and calm vacation there. I am not saying not to go if you don't have kids but if you want to go then go with the idea you will deal with children and they can't all be angels.

So how dare anyone tell someone ignoring their poor screaming child to take care of their child but you'll tell people to stay out of WDW because of unruly children. I love dealing with children. I just don't want to deal with kids kicking ducks because their parents can't be bothered parenting.


One other thing... let me just say right now that if you as a grown man or woman say anything at all rude to one my kids YOU better be prepared for a scene b/c that is one situation I WILL create one. I will not put up with anyone being rude to my kids. They are my children and I will discipline them in the best way I can and it is not your role in the least to step in.

If your child spits on someone's stroller/baby and you do nothing about it they have every right to yell at your kid. It takes a village....



I'm sorry your vacay with your children didn't turn out how you hoped. I'm sure with your help your autistic child will be able to blossom. I'm glad that it worked out later into the trip.
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Old 09-07-2010, 11:40 PM   #187
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first off- no kids here.

the worst behavior i see is some of the parents- they dont pay attention to their child, child gets hurt or does something inappropriate, and the parent screams at them!




one time i saw three kids under 6 arguing, all mom had to say was turn around we are heading back, and just like magic, the kids chimed in, we are fine. and all problems ceased to exist. I told her she was a great parent.
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Old 09-07-2010, 11:46 PM   #188
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Luckyprincess.... I am sorry you misread what I was saying... I was commenting on your general comment that having a child would be unlucky for you. I did not say you HAD to have children. Everyone has the right to not have children if they do not want them. What I was saying is that I would hope that if by chance you did turn up pregnant and held your baby in your arms the day it was born you would not be sitting there thinking how unlucky you were, that is all. To me, that would be sad. I miscarried 3 times before having my boys and I can't help but feel sad when I see something like that.

Having children does change you. You don't have to agree with that. One day you may know though.


About the adults saying something to my child... #1 my child would not spit on your child and if they did that would be punished immediately. That is nasty and I would never put up with it. However, if for some reason I did not see it and all of a sudden somebody was yelling at MY child instead of coming to ME first then that is really ridiculous. Why would you as an adult choose to take up a matter with a child and not an adult who was in charge of that child? I can't understand that.
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Old 09-07-2010, 11:56 PM   #189
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Originally Posted by TheDisneyBunch View Post
Luckyprincess.... I am sorry you misread what I was saying... I was commenting on your general comment that having a child would be unlucky for you. I did not say you HAD to have children. Everyone has the right to not have children if they do not want them. What I was saying is that I would hope that if by chance you did turn up pregnant and held your baby in your arms the day it was born you would not be sitting there thinking how unlucky you were, that is all. To me, that would be sad. I miscarried 3 times before having my boys and I can't help but feel sad when I see something like that.

I appreciate that you overcame a lot to have your boys - I'm happy you have your family that you wanted I, however, would not want to bring a child into my life that I know deep down that I don't want - I have a friend that had a child because she was afraid of waiting and that she wouldn't be able to. I feel very sad for that child because although she loves him, she really longs for her life before she had him and the freedom and expendable income she had - she's finding it difficult to put herself second and I feel like the little one will feel that as he gets older. I happen to have a very clear sense of what I want and I know that I don't want to be a mother. And I'm very happy with that.

Having children does change you. You don't have to agree with that. One day you may know though.

I'm sure it does but I have friends that used to be courteous and care about other people that now only seem to care that they have a child. They use the 'I have a child here' thing that makes my blood boil....lol A lot of times I think the change that happens is one of less concern for others and a lack of empathy for those around them. Not everyone, obviously.


About the adults saying something to my child... #1 my child would not spit on your child and if they did that would be punished immediately. That is nasty and I would never put up with it. However, if for some reason I did not see it and all of a sudden somebody was yelling at MY child instead of coming to ME first then that is really ridiculous. Why would you as an adult choose to take up a matter with a child and not an adult who was in charge of that child? I can't understand that.
Yes, I can understand what you're saying. However, what the situation was, is that the parents were milktoast and did pretty much nothing about the child spitting on them and then on the baby/stroller. They saw it and did nothing. They also didn't seem to speak English, if I recall. So since there was no parenting going on and the parents of the baby in the stroller were able - they did the parenting that the child seemed to desperately need.
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:09 AM   #190
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Luckyprincess.... I am sorry you misread what I was saying... I was commenting on your general comment that having a child would be unlucky for you. I did not say you HAD to have children. Everyone has the right to not have children if they do not want them. What I was saying is that I would hope that if by chance you did turn up pregnant and held your baby in your arms the day it was born you would not be sitting there thinking how unlucky you were, that is all. To me, that would be sad. I miscarried 3 times before having my boys and I can't help but feel sad when I see something like that.

Having children does change you. You don't have to agree with that. One day you may know though.
I have to wonder where adoptive parents fall on the DIS scale.
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:22 AM   #191
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Yes, I can understand what you're saying. However, what the situation was, is that the parents were milktoast and did pretty much nothing about the child spitting on them and then on the baby/stroller. They saw it and did nothing. They also didn't seem to speak English, if I recall. So since there was no parenting going on and the parents of the baby in the stroller were able - they did the parenting that the child seemed to desperately need.
I get what you are saying, I really do. I just feel like from certain comments here that some people may feel they have the right to judge and or speak to other children in any way they like. For a non English speaking family, I realize that would be annoying and I don't know what I would do in that situation but I just would not feel right yelling at somebody else's young child.


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I have to wonder where adoptive parents fall on the DIS scale.
Same place any other parent falls I would imagine. They hold their children in their arms for the first time too and I am sure love them dearly. They raise them 24/7 and learn to deal with all of the struggles that come along with being a parent.
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:27 AM   #192
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Same place any other parent falls I would imagine. They hold their children in their arms for the first time too and I am sure love them dearly. They raise them 24/7 and learn to deal with all of the struggles that come along with being a parent.
It was starting to feel like from certain coments that some people on here were starting to judge.
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:26 AM   #193
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This would be fine by me... even to my three year old. Again politely asking them not to touch you in any way... be it tongue to the hand of foot to the back is completely different than "nutting up" in a kids face.

And was the look definitely and angry one? If it were me (and it wasn't I don't have any kids that age) I would have been mortified that you had to talk to her. So the look you would get from me would be mortification.
It was kind of a narrowed eyes look in my direction, so I assumed she was mad because I said something. Could have misconstrued it though. I was just happy the child stopped kicking me.
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Old 09-08-2010, 06:32 AM   #194
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Just because someone does not want children does not mean they will end up with a house full of cats.
You say that like it's a bad thing.

I've raised three kids, youngest still in high school, and have a house semi-full of cats. So HAVING children is no cat preventative either.
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Old 09-08-2010, 07:35 AM   #195
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I love this post

Our first trip to Disney and we got off a 23 hour flight experience on a Friday night late - straight to bed and we crashed until Saturday.

Waking up early from the time changes we zoomed excitedly off to Disney at about 9am and we had a blast - a quick service lunch and a LOT of jelly beans to keep the blood sugar up

Around 7pm we went down to Downtown Disney for dinner and realised there were long, long waits We had Disney-exhaustion (any idea how exhausted we were by now, seeing as how we didn't get seated till 8pm, our own fault I know )

And then because we are just that kind of special, at 9pm we headed back to Disney for the electric light parade that started at 9.30pm. Hmmm no seats, no where to see this so we start walking and see a big blank space with no people, COOL!!!!!!!! We've got a great view (can you tell yet this was our first trip to Disneyland's DCA?) And an over-worked CM came along and told us to move so we moved (backwards, backwards and finally came to some back entrance to a hotel and some very out of the way smokers area - but no where near the parade)

DH turns to me and suggests that maybe we weren't going to see this tonight , I being very over-tired and over-walked have a hissy fit and tell him to go home, that I'm going to see this parade and if he doesn't like it I don't want him ruining my happy time

He (being a gorgeous saint of a man) looked at me and asked did I really think I could see anything that night? Me being just that cool realised that I was guilty of the number one Disney sin - allowing myself to get over-tired, over-stimulated, over-excited and over-hopeful without any real planning and conceded that maybe it was best to head back to the hotel and get some rest

This first experience as an almost-40 year old taught me how hypocritical it would be for me to expect anything from any other person at Disney - as there is no way I know what they are going through! Generally (I think) I'm pretty much more reasonable and easy-going than DH, so for him to pull me up was a very big and needed splash of icy-cold water

I just hope that no-one saw me being such a "snowflake" and I have only smiles for all those around me since (also making sure I get my afternoon nap helps )

Just my two cents worth
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