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Old 08-10-2010, 09:33 PM   #226
MaleficentandGoons
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Originally Posted by gr8mommy View Post
Really? And when she'd rather sit there than eat it, to show you who is in control, what will you do? When she'd rather go straight to bed that eat it, will you give it to her the next morning? Then what?

I have one that was an extremely picky preschooler who will now eat anything slow enough for him to catch; one preschooler who has never known the meaning of picky; and one entering 4th grade who is the pickiest kids you can imagine. Honestly, 100% pure grape juice is the only fruit she consumes.

A very wise physician friend told me when my first child was born that there are two things parents CAN NOT control----what a child eats, and their elimination. Parents will not win in table or toilet battles. You can control their choices----so yes, give them healthy choices. Which leads back to the choices at a theme park.

If you don't like the choices on the children's menu at WDW, there are several things to do:

1) write to Disney about your concerns
2) don't give Disney your business
3) bring your own food for your child
4) buy an adult meal to share with her

It really isn't rocket science.
Her father and I!! For you to even say that...I won't even go there. The plate returns every meal time until she TRIES it. It's not a hard concept and I'm sure after a few times she will get the idea.
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Old 08-10-2010, 09:46 PM   #227
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You are being naive and unrealistic. Your daughter has the control, not you. Toddlers start rejecting food around 1 years old, oftentimes. Google around...you'll find lots of doctors talking about it. It's natural.

And I clearly recall a conversation with a mom about her 4 year old who was a good eater, then juts started dropping foods.

Your "good old days" weren't really so good. Lots of eating disorders came this kind of force. I clearly remember being forced to eat some foods, and thinking I'd never do it to any child of mine.

And I don't.

My mother was wrong to force me, but that was the "in" thing to do those days: Show 'em who's boss! Guess what? I'm the boss of what I eat. I STILL don't like the liver she was trying to make me gag down. But I do like all sorts of foods now, and there's a small list of things I won't eat.
Yup, but I'm sure because your mother stood her ground you grew up to respect her wishes a bit more than today's kids who now have this idea that they are in control. Are you kidding me! That will be the day I let my child run my house. This kids are in control idea is why things have spiraled so far out of control for many parents. Eating disorders stem from social issues for the most part not because you parents made you eat your vegetables.
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Old 08-10-2010, 10:02 PM   #228
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Wasn't there a scene in "Mommy Dearest" about the whole food forcing thing?
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Old 08-10-2010, 10:11 PM   #229
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Originally Posted by MaleficentandGoons View Post
Yup, but I'm sure because your mother stood her ground you grew up to respect her wishes a bit more than today's kids who now have this idea that they are in control. Are you kidding me! That will be the day I let my child run my house. This kids are in control idea is why things have spiraled so far out of control for many parents. Eating disorders stem from social issues for the most part not because you parents made you eat your vegetables.
Allowing your child to decide which foods (out of healthy choices) and how much food to put into her own body is not letting her run the house. It's respecting her as a fellow human being.

As Horton says, "A person's a person no matter how small."
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Old 08-10-2010, 10:29 PM   #230
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Originally Posted by MaleficentandGoons View Post
Her father and I!! For you to even say that...I won't even go there. The plate returns every meal time until she TRIES it. It's not a hard concept and I'm sure after a few times she will get the idea.
Actually, this is a VERY hard concept for toddlers. Being forced to take even one bite of something they don't want to goes against their very nature. They are learning to assert themselves and are developing their independence.


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Allowing your child to decide which foods (out of healthy choices) and how much food to put into her own body is not letting her run the house. It's respecting her as a fellow human being.

As Horton says, "A person's a person no matter how small."
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Old 08-10-2010, 11:16 PM   #231
kirstenb1
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Originally Posted by MaleficentandGoons View Post
Her father and I!! For you to even say that...I won't even go there. The plate returns every meal time until she TRIES it. It's not a hard concept and I'm sure after a few times she will get the idea.
I may be misunderstanding your post. But it sounds like you and she will sit there like the OK corral until she eats whatever it is. This is the way I was raised. Food like meatloaf with lots of onions, peppers and oatmeal in it, to cut costs. I sat there for 3 hours at dinner. Then, before microwaves, I had it in front of me, cold, for breakfast. Then, because we all walked home from school for lunch, there it was again.

Really, my mom was just a product of her time. I think many parents were this way. But I freaking hated onions and peppers. Nothing was going to make me gag that down. So I just waited her out for days if necessary. She always gave me water or milk, so it's not like I was starving.

Unfortunately, because this is how I was raised, I started doing this to our older dd. My dh was raised with the "try one bite" philosophy, convinced me I was wrong.
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Old 08-10-2010, 11:19 PM   #232
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Originally Posted by MaleficentandGoons View Post
Yup, but I'm sure because your mother stood her ground you grew up to respect her wishes a bit more than today's kids who now have this idea that they are in control. Are you kidding me! That will be the day I let my child run my house. This kids are in control idea is why things have spiraled so far out of control for many parents. Eating disorders stem from social issues for the most part not because you parents made you eat your vegetables.
Uh, no. That didn't make me respect my mother more. I respected her for many things, but certainly not that.

Bullying children doesn't earn their respect. It does teach them to fear you, however.

A kid doesn't eat her vegetables? Big deal. It really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. She'll learn to like them later, when it's HER choice.
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Old 08-11-2010, 12:07 AM   #233
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Originally Posted by MaleficentandGoons View Post
Her father and I!! For you to even say that...I won't even go there. The plate returns every meal time until she TRIES it. It's not a hard concept and I'm sure after a few times she will get the idea.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaleficentandGoons View Post
Yup, but I'm sure because your mother stood her ground you grew up to respect her wishes a bit more than today's kids who now have this idea that they are in control. Are you kidding me! That will be the day I let my child run my house. This kids are in control idea is why things have spiraled so far out of control for many parents. Eating disorders stem from social issues for the most part not because you parents made you eat your vegetables.


Last edited by Maggie'sMom; 08-11-2010 at 12:14 AM.
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Old 08-11-2010, 08:09 AM   #234
Indiana Rose Lee
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Not that you are going to listen to anyone else, but please please understand that the kids who wind up in my office or referred to me come from 2 sorts of homes. Those that have no boundaries, the type you are concerned about. And the type that are totally authoritarian. Children should learn to respect their parents, not fear them.

There are adults on this thread saying that what you are saying (which is hopefully not what you are doing in the extreme) affected their lives forever. Their parents thought that what they were doing was best. All parents do, or wouldn't do it.

You may have been raised this way, and think that you have turned out fine. But how fine is it to look down on others? That isn't nice. I hope that you consider what people have shared. They did it out of concern for your daughter, and really of you. And you obviously have no clue where eating disorders come from. Most come from overparenting, and the need to control something in their lives. Food becomes that thing to control.

What might have been an interesting discussion of our culture, of helping kids to eat a healthy and varied diet became a thread dissing the parenting choices of others. Complaining about theme park food is weird, I guess. It is a vacation and theme park. If you don't like the choices eat elsewhere. We rent points and stay dvc because we don't care for eating out every meal. Problem solved.

duckie, I am so buying Kale at the farmer's market today! I have my mandolin back, and hope to have better beet chips. Mine have been iffy when I cut them myself.

Last edited by Indiana Rose Lee; 08-11-2010 at 08:15 AM.
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Old 08-11-2010, 08:28 AM   #235
Duckiedee
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Kale Chips... here is the recipe I use:

http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/baked-...ps/Detail.aspx

Make sure the raw kale does not overlap or it will steam instead of crisp... I don't like it soggy.

As you add the oil, kind of massage each leaf a little to get it coated (It doesn't take as long as that sounds)

DON'T overcook or it will be bitter. Store in a glass container or paperbag... Plastic will make it go soggy.

Great way to get the veggies in!
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Old 08-11-2010, 08:33 AM   #236
Indiana Rose Lee
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thanks! lol, that ws the one i found when i googled.
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Old 08-11-2010, 08:50 AM   #237
Duckiedee
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Meloncholywings...

I get that from some people sometimes too... that is is weird to choose to eat nutritiously. Kinda makes me giggle. I'm not sure what is weird about real food in its original state and when some people started to think food needed to come from a package or cereal needed to have marshmellows to be 'good.'

It is frustrating when you can find 50 varieties of potato chips, 35 kinds of sugar cereal, 7 types of boxed Mac and Cheese (Kraft Dinner to us Canucks) but can't get Greek yogurt but at one store and in one size, brand and flavour and raw, unprocessed sugar is twice the price as processed stuff. (Don't get me started!!! )

Unfortunately that does put us in the minority and that makes us weird.... even though I REALLY don't believe it is.

I have a niece who puts pop in her 14 month old's bottle mixed with water because 'it tastes better.' When I've babysat I give him straight water or milk and he drinks it without complaint or any cajoling.

As soon as she gets her hands on the bottle she insists on pouring half of the water out and adding something, sugary juice for example (not even talking the real stuff.) Apparently though, I am the weird one - because what I believe is different, I don't believe water is horrible or boring. So I must be cracked! LOL!

Oh well, I can take the flaming and the weird looks. I used to eat boxed and processed and I always wondered HOW people could choose to eat healthy and actually DO it. What do you mean you don't like sweets???!!!! LOL.

But I get it now. And I'm glad I do! It's a totally new set of skills, but they were totally worth learning!!!
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Old 08-11-2010, 09:32 AM   #238
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Huge potential to blow up in my face? Why because I'm not letting my child control my house? She is the child and I'm the parent. She is subject to OUR will. I'm not going to force feed her and OBVIOUS if there is something she truely doesn't like i'm not going to force her to eat it. It's about setting a level of control as a parent and like previous poster said, picking your battles. I also only have one child so it will be a bit "easier" for me to control the situation because I don't have to deal with 2 or 3 other kids and what they may enjoy too.
You seem to have taken this personally. If you read some post I'm not the only one that feels like sometimes people give up.
Um. Wow. and

You just contradicted yourself BTW. You cannot "subject your child to YOUR will" AND pick your battles. As a parent you will have to choose to do one or the other.

It is not our job as parents to control our children. It is our job as parents to steer our children to do good and the right thing, by leading by example. We are here to help kids grow into a competent, able-bodied, independent, good person.

It's quite ovbious that you have yet to encounter your child's first meltdown or tantrum. And I am sorry for you if it happens to be in a public place. Because it will happen. That will be HER will she is forcing on YOU.

You said also that you want to control your child, but will know when to "let up". How will you know when to start doing this??? You will NOT know how to do this unless you have chosen to give up a little control from the beginning, which it doesn't sound like you are willing to do.

Parenting is very very personal, as this thread has shown. But please head the advice of the seasoned parents on this board when it comes to "controlling" your child. Yes, children seek and want boundaries. Testing those boundaries are ever present, for sure. Your child will need to be able to have SOME control for herself if you want to have any hope of raising a child that is not some codependent person who will either:
- always have to have a boyfriend because she won't know how to be by herself, and probably a controlling one at that,
- will constantly give into peer pressure because she doesn't know how to say no, or has always been forced into something even when she said no,
- or the extreme opposite where she will lie, sneak out, and be so defiant that you will have no idea what will happen next, or what you can do about it because you've always thought "you were in control".

I have seen every.single.one. of these instances in my friends and family members growing up. I have a 4 year old now. She's VERY independent already. I have a difficult time knowing where I need to draw the line in regards to "controlling" her. I know she needs her boundaries, but at the same time, I don't want to squash her independence. Because as trying as she might be now (and a VERY picky eater I might add - which we have a rule that she has to try one bite of any new food), that independence will take her far in her adult life.

Just some *food* for thought.
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Old 08-11-2010, 09:40 AM   #239
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I have a niece who puts pop in her 14 month old's bottle mixed with water because 'it tastes better.' When I've babysat I give him straight water or milk and he drinks it without complaint or any cajoling.
Ok, that's just gross - pop mixed with water? UGH. We don't even give DD juice yet, which most people think is weird.

Quote:
I used to eat boxed and processed and I always wondered HOW people could choose to eat healthy and actually DO it. What do you mean you don't like sweets???!!!! LOL.
Wait, you can't eat healthy & still like sweets!? If I bake them from scratch & use raw ingredients they're healthy cookies, right?

That recipe for kale chips sounds yummy, I'll have to try it.
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1983 (age 3): Buena Vista Palace 1988: Fort Wilderness Cabin 1991: Offsite 1997: All-Star Music 2002: All-Star Music 2004: All-Star Movies
April 2006: All-Star Music May 2011: POP Century Sept 2014: Caribbean Beach Aug 2015: Art of Animation, Lion King Suite


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Old 08-11-2010, 09:50 AM   #240
Indiana Rose Lee
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Ok, that's just gross - pop mixed with water? UGH. We don't even give DD juice yet, which most people think is weird.


Wait, you can't eat healthy & still like sweets!? If I bake them from scratch & use raw ingredients they're healthy cookies, right?

That recipe for kale chips sounds yummy, I'll have to try it.
lol, there are always cookies in our cookie jar. If your kids aren't white sugar/flour addicts you can do that, and they just grab a cookie when they want. And the batch lasts for days. In a house of 7, that is pretty good, lol.

Really, even in the cookies the 80% good works for us. My kids grab maybe a cookie or two a day, and that is the treat in the house. Or we make a cobbler. Or homemade ice cream or sorbet. But with a couple of them, it is a week between "treats" because they don't crave them. They are just as likely to grab an apple, or handful of cherries (really good this year!). They are all within a healthy weight, in a house where dh and I both have to stay on top of our eating to avoid weight gain. Genetics are not in their favor.
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