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Old 08-03-2010, 12:04 AM   #16
Goofy4Ever
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Kimmy -

I am really sorry to hear how your mom is acting. I think it is foolish to think that you should have to have separate shower/receptions, especially if your mom has no reason not to like you future family!! Sometimes in the midst of planning a wedding, people forget whose wedding it really is!!!

Hang in and maybe your mom will see how foolish she is being and change her mind.
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Old 08-03-2010, 12:29 AM   #17
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Oh Kimmy, I'm so sorry that your family is giving you a hard time...this isn't something you need, on top of all the other stress you have with classes, planning for a wedding, etc.

I believe the bottom line (regarding the reception) is that you're an adult, who will be married to the love-of-your life soon, which makes his family, your family. If your mom cannot accept that they need to be invited too, then you might consider having your own open house/reception at you and your husbands house, or the local park like you suggested. If you throw it yourself, YOU can decide who to invite. That is what me and DH had decided to do when we got married....but unfortunately, we got caught up in new jobs and moved before we got to carry out our plans.

Why, oh why, do parents have to be difficult at the worse times?!

As to the showers...since you have everything you need already, I think I'd just say something like "I'm sorry Mom, but this is the man I love, and his family is my family too. You are putting me in an incredibly awkward position, by alienating my future family, I'd rather not have a shower at all than hurt people I love". She really needs to realize that leaving them out now will set the tone for the rest of the marriage by spliting up between the two families. I'd still go ahead and let DF's family throw a shower for you, and let them invite your family...most people (especially moms), don't like to be "outdone", and maybe then your mom would change her mind about the whole "we aren't going to invite them" attitude. Plus it would give them a chance to meet and get to know each other.

Those are just some ideas anyway...it's so hard giving advise when you're not aware of all the family dynamics.

Anyway, about the buttons, I'll be more than happy to try to get you some, it's no problem!! I'll also keep my eye out for the cake serving sets!

You take care, and try not to stress too much. If all else fails, leave them ALL behind and just elope on the Disney Dream!!
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Old 08-05-2010, 02:31 PM   #18
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You will have PLENTY of time on Castaway Cay!!

Also how can your mom act like that??? I am so sorry!!! I agree have an open house and if your mom doesn't come then her loss. Also I would see if your sister or someone can host your shower and invite everyone you want!
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Old 08-06-2010, 11:37 PM   #19
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Yeaaaaaaah... You started a PJ. I'm happy to see more DCL PJs here.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this drama with your mom though.
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Old 08-07-2010, 09:23 AM   #20
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Old 08-07-2010, 09:33 AM   #21
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[QUOTE=kjg5;37616602]
I found this adorable flower wand for for my sis/MOH on Etsy, but I want it in yellow and orange:



I love these wands too. I am actually going to try and make them for the DD. I just bought the flowers and the ribbon. We'll see how they come out?!
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Old 08-07-2010, 10:51 AM   #22
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hello

just joining in, love your PJ so far. So sorry to hear about the shower situation, families can be reallly stressful sometimes

Hopefully everything turns out okay until then keep smiling
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Old 08-07-2010, 11:44 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kjg5 View Post
Thanks for the advice and well wishes everyone! Scrappy_Tink- thank you so much for helping me out while you're on your trip!

So the drama continues, lol. We can't have any sort of gathering at our place because we live in a small apartment in a HUGE student housing complex. My sister still lives at home with our parents so that isn't an option either. My dad and Ryans' parents are all for having both sides of the family at the home reception and having it at a park but my mom won't even talk to me about the subject. So, for now, we aren't even going to think about a shower or home reception. TBH, I don't really care whether or not I have a shower (it was mom's request) and the home reception was something our extended families requested, since they aren't coming to the wedding, so it doesn't really matter to me if we have one or not. My mom is like this with everything, for example she didn't talk to me for months after I moved out because she was against it. She was against our engagement and wedding from the beginning, so I'm not surprised. She doesn't have anything against Ryan- she just doesn't want me getting married- EVER. When I told her Ryan proposed, she took a long pause, asked me if I said yes, and when I replied that I did, she paused again, and so 'oh,... ok then, if that's what you want'- no congratulations or excitement- NOTHING. Again, it was about what I expected. Ryan and I are going to have dinner with his parents next weekend and see what they want to do about the home reception and I'm leaving my parents out of it. My mom always ruins a happy occasion- she even complained when I got into grad school as apparently I'm wasting my time and money. She's always a bring-down, so I'm not surprised nor upset at the situation anymore- unfortunately it's just to be expected. I think she's just unhappy with how her own life turned out and she takes it out on everyone else.

On a brighter note, Ryan's wedding shirt came in and it fits! It's a little big for him, but that's better than being too small! I wanted a pic of him in the whole outfit, but he has so far refused, lol- he hates trying on clothes.

We also bought luggage the other day. Kohl's was having a killer sale and I got a 7 piece set for 65% off! I never bought luggage before- we had always borrowed it from our parents, and it was really exciting buying our own!

Ryan's working 17 hours today, so I'm gunna look online for inspiration hair styles. My sister will be doing my hair for the wedding. She worked at Super Cuts for a few years and loves to do hair. She's an RN now, but she wants to quit, go to beauty school, and open her own shop. She's very talented and I think she should go for it, but she doesn't want to go against our mom, who of course is against the idea. Regardless, I know she'll do a great job. I want to keep the hairstyle very relaxed and simple so we can fix it relatively quickly for our Palo dinner and the Pirate Party.

I really want to do some Trash the Dress photos in the ocean after the wedding and I'm hoping Disney will allow it. I asked the DCL wedding thread if Disney photogs will do this and it seems that they will. I'll have to check with Shanda just to be sure, but I'm not going to bother her with that kind of stuff so soon. We have plenty of time to figure it out. Depending on how trashed the dress gets, I may have to come up with something else to wear to Palo and the Pirate party. Or I'll just whip out the hairdryer to dry the dress, lol.

Thanks for reading along so far!!
Kimmy,
I feel for you...my mom is not happy about us getting married either. Without taking over you PJ, my mom called me "nuts" and the words "congrats" have yet to come out her mouth! It hurts, but I have to move on. I filled my parents in on the plans, and all I can say is that I felt like it was a waste of time!! My mom wasn't happy with this, or that. TOO BAD!! Last time I checked it was our day, not yours.

Hopefully, we both will have them come around sooner, rather than later, so we can experience the most happiest time with our love ones!

Keep your head up

[QUOTE=acomasdiaz;37717780]
Quote:
Originally Posted by kjg5 View Post
I found this adorable flower wand for for my sis/MOH on Etsy, but I want it in yellow and orange:



I love these wands too. I am actually going to try and make them for the DD. I just bought the flowers and the ribbon. We'll see how they come out?!

Me too! I heard Michael's will make things like this, so I am going to see how much they will charge, or attempt them at myself. Either way, I see it being cheaper than the flowers you can get from Disney and the willl have a keepsake from the wedding
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:43 PM   #24
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:52 PM   #25
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Old 08-08-2010, 02:13 AM   #26
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I love his shirt! Great job on the wedding outfits.

And as far as the mom drama, !

Are you sure you didn't kidnap my mom???? I didn't want to get into all the ranting and raving in my pj, b/c I had so few followers, but this is the exact sort of crap she pulled at my 1st wedding (Which was a disaster) and my at home reception. I tried to cater to her needs to make her happy, but it just makes everyone else miserable.

She is also sooo not supportive of anything I do. I finally graduate college and got nothing out of her, except for "Well, it's about time. I hope that you are able to find a job that pays better so that you aren't living like trash." What?? No congratulations or anything.

Anyway...I think that you are doing the right thing. Just let it go at the moment. It's your day and your wedding! You should be able to do what makes you happy. And it is about unifying 2 families. Maybe you could try to remind your mom of that. Hopefully it won't fall on deaf ears.
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Old 08-18-2010, 10:32 PM   #27
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Old 08-18-2010, 11:16 PM   #28
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Can't wait to see your flowers. I am still torn between trying to make them or buying them?? But I know they MOH & wedding flowers will not be from Disney...I heard they are pretty pricey. I too am trying to save for the MK photo shoot

I love the red dress. Maybe you can see if someone can make it for you?
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Old 08-19-2010, 09:04 AM   #29
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Hi Kimmy, I love your updates...that nitro icecream sounds so cool! (Pardon the pun!) You know Kimmy, I thought long and hard about your shower delimna and I think I came to this conclusion (please remember, this is just my opinion , everyone is entitled to their own! ) I think you and DH are being incredibly generous wanting to have donations instead of shower gifts, that is such an unselfish thing to do. I understand about being more mature and lived alone enough to have almost everything you need, I was in the same boat when I married my DH. Okay, the thing is, we are talking about a shower, which is traditionally to "shower" the bride with gifts...not necessarily for the couple or house, it could be something personal (I had a lingerie shower once, it was awesome!) I can see your mom's point too that she is doing this for you, something that gives her pleasure to make you happy, but wants you to get something out of it personally too. I think, personally, I would compromise on this one....shower (gifts), reception (donations in lieu of gifts).

No matter what, it's "All about the Bride"! Just wanted to give you another thought! Also, something your mom might be more open to, is registering on the Disney Honeymoon site. That way, the shower gifts can be something you could really use (like going towards your Magic Kingdom shoot).

Love your new flower chose from Etsy...I just LOVE that place! Cool PotC costume too, you'd make a pretty Red Lady!

We are less than 9 months now!!
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Old 08-21-2010, 09:11 PM   #30
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