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Old 04-05-2010, 08:19 AM   #31
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Old 04-05-2010, 09:58 AM   #32
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So, you would deny us old folks some of life's simple pleasures...
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Old 04-05-2010, 10:04 AM   #33
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I was behind on old lady in Walmat once. It was a constant noisy stream as she moved, like she was gas powered.

I cut out and went elsewhere, but any time I passed by her in an aisle, there she was, rootin' and tootin' and rollin'.
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Old 04-05-2010, 10:23 AM   #34
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My friend's dad used to tell us about his mom's farting issue almost every night at dinner. She was a proper woman who "never" passed gas. Apparently, she would cough to try to cover the noise of the farts, but she could never get the timing right.

I've heard people try this walking around in stores too and it never seems to work.


Also, what's with the people who will shake their leg after farting while walking? I've been behind a few people that have done this. I always look at the ground to make sure they didn't shake something out the bottom of their pant leg.
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Old 04-05-2010, 10:28 AM   #35
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I am at this thread!!
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Old 04-05-2010, 10:29 AM   #36
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Or when they do it and say "did ya hear them cows?" while you are standing out close to a pasture. Blame it on the cows.
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Old 04-05-2010, 11:55 AM   #37
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It’s a medical condition, let me explain:

Quote:
An elderly lady goes into the doctor and tells him - "Doctor, I don't know what the problem is, but I've been farting all the time. It's not really a problem socially because they don't make any noise and don't smell. I just can't stop farting all the time. In fact, since I've been standing here I must have farted at least 20 times."

"No kidding..." says the doctor with a bit of an upturned nose. The doc says "I've got just the stuff." and gives her some pills. "Here take these for 10 days, then return for a follow up appointment."

So she takes the pills and returns 10 later as instructed. Infuriated, she confronted the doctor. "What kind of medicine is this? I'm still farting just as much! They still don't make any noise, but now they stink terribly!"

The doctor nodded, "Great, now that we've your sinuses cleared up, we'll work on your hearing next!"
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Old 04-05-2010, 12:07 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MIGrandma View Post
You'll be old someday too, and most old people can't control them. My mother has that happen to her sometimes, she's 73. It embarrasses her, but there isn't much she can do about it.
Most of them truly cant control it - and most dont realize it's happening. They cant hear them so they dont know it's audible. I work in a retirement community and hear this all the time. I truly believe that if they COULD control it they would.

I have always had quite a problem with gas myself. My DH pointed out that I will most definately be one of the older people with the "walking toots" since I have so much trouble now and I am only 41.
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Old 04-05-2010, 12:10 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tzolkin View Post
My friend's dad used to tell us about his mom's farting issue almost every night at dinner. She was a proper woman who "never" passed gas. Apparently, she would cough to try to cover the noise of the farts, but she could never get the timing right.

I've heard people try this walking around in stores too and it never seems to work.


Also, what's with the people who will shake their leg after farting while walking? I've been behind a few people that have done this. I always look at the ground to make sure they didn't shake something out the bottom of their pant leg.
LOL, my DH's dad did that to him in a Hudson's store! My DH almost died of embarrassment! We still laugh about his dad "shaking one loose"

I work with 4 people over 70 -- I can't tell you how many farts I have walked through, the strange noises "coming from the copier", and how many times I have had to keep a straight face while one of them was sitting down into an office chair and let one go
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Old 04-05-2010, 12:13 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nd5056 View Post
It’s a medical condition, let me explain:



.

We need to recirculate this thread in 40 years for all of us who will be carrying tic-tacs, coughing, and blaming the swarm of ninja ducks behind us
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Old 04-05-2010, 12:29 PM   #41
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I sometimes get the laughing farts. I'll try to sneak out a quite one. DBF will hear it so I will giggle and that starts the laughing farts. They sound just like walking farts but come quicker. I've also been known to have the walking farts as well and I'm only in my 30s. I'm just a gassy gal I guess.
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Old 04-05-2010, 02:24 PM   #42
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Ok, so you are saying they can't go to the bathroom & let them loose there? Or get them out? That's what I do. I think if you are standing in my kitchen, tooting away, then you can go to the bathroom.

I don't have walking farts, yet. But I do occasionally have yoga farts. That's what I call them. If kneeling & bending over to get something out from under the bed for instance. Yoga farts.
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Old 04-05-2010, 02:41 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent1CB View Post
Ok, so you are saying they can't go to the bathroom & let them loose there? Or get them out? That's what I do. I think if you are standing in my kitchen, tooting away, then you can go to the bathroom.

I don't have walking farts, yet. But I do occasionally have yoga farts. That's what I call them. If kneeling & bending over to get something out from under the bed for instance. Yoga farts.
This reminds me of one of my most embarrassing moments in a meeting at work. In a room full of people I have to leave the meeting early so I sand up and then realise my purse has got knocked under my chair so I bend down to pick it up and 'pppfffttt' - right towards one of my colleagues who was sitting in the chair next to me! so not only did I fart but it appeared 'aimed at someone!!! Sadly the meeting was quiet at that point and everyone there heard it clearly!!!

If that wasn't bad enough, by the time I got to work the next day EVERYONE in the building had heard about it!
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Old 04-05-2010, 02:51 PM   #44
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Hmmm, I wonder how they are supposed to get to the bathroom to "solve" this problem if they are not allowed to walk because it causes the problem.

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Old 04-05-2010, 03:53 PM   #45
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That would be my mother's 83 year old husband, while carving her Easter ham yesterday. I take that back since he wasn't actually walking. I have tears rolling down my face as I type this.

Good Times, good times!


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