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Old 01-23-2010, 12:51 PM   #1
smithmom
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First trip as a single Mom

My marriage began and ended in Walt Disney World.

My husband proposed to me at Cinderellas Wishing Well in 2000... and during our trip last September (2009) I learned he was in love with someone else. We have 2 young boys and this was their first trip.

The texts started coming into his phone the first day we were there. They were pretty constant. During a trip downstairs to get something to drink I looked at his phone and saw the messages of how much she loved and missed him. I felt like someone pulled my soul out of my body. I confronted him and he confirmed the relationship. They were intimate, he had met her family, he loved her.

I had to pick myself up and carry on with the vacation without sharing any of this information with anyone. I did it for my sons, I wanted this to be a happy time for them. Did I mention my parents were with us on this trip and footing the entire bill...

We are getting a divorced. My family now knows the basics of what happened (not my children!) although not all the details. I am devastated... everyday. I just don't understand how someone I trusted so deeply could do something so hurtful. This was not the first indiscretion on his part... I know of one other during my second pregnancy. And there were multiple signs of him not being a great husband. I just thought I knew him and if I could see it in my heart to forgive then he could give us enough of himself to make our marriage a happy one. I was terribly terribly wrong.

My family and I are planning another trip to DW this September and it will be my first trip as a single mom. I've explained to the boys that Daddy is not coming on this trip with us. They seem ok with it, but like I said they are young. I have a hard time wrapping myself around the idea of being divorced. It's the right thing to do, I know this, but it's just not anything I thought I'd ever deal with. I guess nobody does.

I need to go back and make some more HAPPY MEMORIES in Disney World!!!!
Thanks for letting me rant....
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:36 PM   #2
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Rant away, or should I say vent away? It's okay. The dissolution of a marriage is a sad thing. I became a single parent when my only child was five. I wasn't devastated because he was physically abusive but still, it's like a loss regardless.

I extend my sympathies for your loss but you sound strong and you will be able do anything you have to to take care of your children. And someday you may find someone who deserves you! Keep your chin up, and good luck!
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:41 PM   #3
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Good for you for going forward to doing things with your sons!
I am a single Mommy and I had to go forward and make those memories with my son myself. His Dad is in the picture but I have adopted the mantra that it is up to me and not to rely on him.
Go have a great time and if you need to talk just pm me.

I am sorry you are going through this but pull all the strength that you can up and out of your soul for your boys. You will look back and be thankful that you did.
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Old 01-24-2010, 02:51 AM   #4
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You need shopping and a hug
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Old 01-24-2010, 08:26 AM   #5
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Have a great trip with your boys. Make new memories with them and don't dwell on the "special" places to you and your ex. I know words are easy to say but you are a strong woman so I know you will make the trip a great one for the kids and yourself. You are in my prayers.
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Old 01-24-2010, 01:15 PM   #6
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Thank you all for your kind words and compassion. It is so appreciated... more than you can know.

I wish you all lived closer.

Luckily my husbands actions have not spoiled Disney for me in the slightest, and I have my boys to thank for that!!! It's amazing to see it through their eyes.

Thank you again.
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Old 01-24-2010, 04:42 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by smithmom View Post
My marriage began and ended in Walt Disney World.


We are getting a divorced. My family now knows the basics of what happened (not my children!) although not all the details. I am devastated... everyday. I just don't understand how someone I trusted so deeply could do something so hurtful. This was not the first indiscretion on his part... I know of one other during my second pregnancy. And there were multiple signs of him not being a great husband. I just thought I knew him and if I could see it in my heart to forgive then he could give us enough of himself to make our marriage a happy one. I was terribly terribly wrong.


I need to go back and make some more HAPPY MEMORIES in Disney World!!!!
Thanks for letting me rant....
See the above part where I bolded...Why did you trust him so deeply if he already had cheated on you in the past? One lesson I have taken from Oprah..."When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them."

I'm sorry for your children, and for you, and I think he was terribly disrespectful towards your parents also. I hope in time WDW will have happy memories for you and your kids.
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:54 AM   #8
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I am going to say this here....when people are in love, they sometimes forgive indiscretions for the sake of the family......and because they love their partner.. I would never judge that, it is their choice, their marriage..

I hope you have a wonderful time in WDW and I know you will as children always make it more magical. You will get through this, not saying it will be easy, but you will come out the other side.. Make those new memories and just enjoy...

Best,
Marsha
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:04 AM   #9
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Good for you for picking up and moving forward. You and your sons will have a great time - it's your husband's loss. He won't be part of the memories and I honestly believe that someday in the future he will kick himself in the a-- for giving up the chance to be a part of all your lives.

Good luck with everything and keep your chin up.
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Old 01-25-2010, 01:39 PM   #10
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It is really admirable how you shouldered the hurt and devastation of his betrayal without pulling your kids into it, you sound like a wonderful mother and a very unselfish and forgiving person

You and your kids deserve better! I hope you guys have a wonderful trip, it sounds like you have the support of your family - that is a great thing, don't be afraid to lean on them to get through this.

Take care of yourself and good luck with the trip, I'm sure you guys will have a great time!
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Old 01-26-2010, 09:15 AM   #11
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SWhy did you trust him so deeply if he already had cheated on you in the past?
I never saw this part of him before we had kids. To be fair, it may have been there, but I just didn't see it. But when it started to become clear I had one chile who wasn't even 2 yet, and one on the way. I wanted my family. They were THE most important thing in my life, and I couldn't see past that. I loved him more than I did myself. It took almost 4 years for me to be convinced I'd be better on my own. That's a long time, but now I can walk with my head high and know that someday, if my children ever want to talk with me about what happened, and I can look them in their eyes and truthfully say I gave it everything I had. But there comes a point where you need to let go so that you can become who you are supposed to be... for me it was being a good mom. It's amazing the energy one can focus on something. If it gives back it is sooooo worth it, but if it gives you nothing back, then it's just draining the effort you could be giving everything else in your life. IT IS A HARD LESSON TO LEARN.

ok, there I go again. Rant... rant.... rant...
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Old 01-26-2010, 01:53 PM   #12
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But there comes a point where you need to let go so that you can become who you are supposed to be... for me it was being a good mom. It's amazing the energy one can focus on something. If it gives back it is sooooo worth it, but if it gives you nothing back, then it's just draining the effort you could be giving everything else in your life. IT IS A HARD LESSON TO LEARN.

ok, there I go again. Rant... rant.... rant...
That's really amazing...I think letting go of something is the hardest part. Believe me, you and your kids will be better for it. My sister has been with the same man since she was 19, and she's 44 now, and she's had a miserable life. I'm glad you can let go when you are young enough to move on.
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Old 01-28-2010, 02:33 PM   #13
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You will have a great trip with your kids because it is what you and they deserve! Take care of yourself and your boys and have fun planning your trip!
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:16 PM   #14
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I am so sorry you are going through the same hell that I've been going through. The betrayal, lies and the emotional rollercoasters are rough! There is a great website that I came across when I learned of my husband's extracurricular activities: survivinginfidelity.com This site has really helped me through the rough days and nights following the discovery, to become stronger and healthier as each day goes by. Lots of hugs and prayers coming your way!
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Old 02-03-2010, 12:57 PM   #15
smithmom
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I am so sorry you are going through the same hell that I've been going through. The betrayal, lies and the emotional rollercoasters are rough! There is a great website that I came across when I learned of my husband's extracurricular activities: survivinginfidelity.com This site has really helped me through the rough days and nights following the discovery, to become stronger and healthier as each day goes by. Lots of hugs and prayers coming your way!
Thank you so much for sharing this... I will check the site out. There are days where I think I'm doing really well... then there are days like the last few and I have a hard time with everything. Day by day....
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