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Old 02-08-2010, 06:43 PM   #16
SeaSpray


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Hi guys:

Things are going ok. My nervousness/anxiety has been staying down at a dull roar lately, which is good, I guess. I wish it would go away altogether. I hate feeling like I've had too much caffeine. I'm still taking Zoloft, but I started taking 100mgs a week ago at my therapist advice, and I see the therapist once a week. I wish I could shrink him down and carry him around in my pocket so that I could pull him out and talk to him whenever I wanted to. LOL

Anyway, DS has gone to his college class for 2 weeks now (4 classes total, it meets twice a week), and he starts the third week of classes tomorrow. He also has a job interview tomorrow. It's at a local building supply store that's currently hiring, so any good thoughts that you can spare are appreciated.

We're booked for a trip to Disney World, for all of us, including DS18's girlfriend. Actually, by the time of the trip DSs will be 22 and 19! Wow, time flies. lol

Hope everyone's doing ok.
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Old 02-09-2010, 10:42 AM   #17
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Seaspray - I've followed your reports for many years and was sorry to hear what you and your family have been going through. I'm sending prayers your way that your son is able to manage his depression and that you can find a way to manage your anxiety so it's not at the forefront of your life.

On a happier note, will you be starting a pre-trip report since you now have a new trip to Disney planned? I'd love to follow along.
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Old 02-10-2010, 10:43 AM   #18
SeaSpray


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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bibbidi View Post
Seaspray - I've followed your reports for many years and was sorry to hear what you and your family have been going through. I'm sending prayers your way that your son is able to manage his depression and that you can find a way to manage your anxiety so it's not at the forefront of your life.

On a happier note, will you be starting a pre-trip report since you now have a new trip to Disney planned? I'd love to follow along.
Thanks. A bit of good news: DS got called back for a second interview tomorrow. He's really hoping that he gets this job, and we are too. It'll be good for him on so many different levels.

I've actually never done a trip report before! LOL Usually when I get back I post a resort review and some reviews on the Restaurants Board. I wish I had the time, I'd attempt to do a proper trip report! lol
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Old 02-10-2010, 03:32 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaSpray View Post
Thanks. A bit of good news: DS got called back for a second interview tomorrow. He's really hoping that he gets this job, and we are too. It'll be good for him on so many different levels.

I've actually never done a trip report before! LOL Usually when I get back I post a resort review and some reviews on the Restaurants Board. I wish I had the time, I'd attempt to do a proper trip report! lol
I hope the interview goes well.

I must be thinking of your post trip resort reviews--I remember you staying at the Polynesian frequently. Well, resort review, trip report - either way it's fun to follow along
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Old 02-17-2010, 03:20 AM   #20
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YAY! DS found out last evening that he got the job!

I've been feeling pretty good this past week, as far as stress goes. I don't know why I can't sleep tonight though. It's 3:20am and I'm wide awake. I'll probably fall asleep right before the alarm goes off. lol
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Old 03-14-2010, 04:37 PM   #21
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SeaSpray - how have you been lately? How is your DS doing? I've followed your post but never had anything to post about, but have been thinking about you.

This weeknd DS12 got into some trouble at school & home, and he was grounded indefinitely. He was so so angry & almost violent, and I became worried that he would do something to himself. You see everyday how teen suicide is becoming more & more common, and that scares me to death. I didn't sleep much at all that night, and was over in his room checking on him every hour. I can't imagine the anxiety you live with on a daily basis.

I've suffered from PTSD but nothing as major as most of you on here. Back in June 2001 our neighbor's house burned to the ground & their son was killed. They found him right by the door. I stood & watched that house burn for hours & hours, it took 10 companies to put it out (we have no hydrants here). No one knew for sure if he was still inside or had gotten out. The fire was too intense for anyone to go inside to attempt a rescue. At 5:30am when we heard the mother's wails of "My boy, my boy, my boy" we all knew. I still tear up & shudder, I can hear her voice like it was yesterday.

I didn't sleep much for weeks. I was jumpy & nervous & just couldn't stop re-playing that night in my head, over & over & over, all day long. I'd lie awake at night wondering why he couldn't get out, how did the fire awaken him, did he know what was going on, and run a million "what-ifs" through my head. Over & over & over. I was terrified to be alone at home. I couldn't look out the side of our house because all that was left of their home was the concrete chimney & a pile of black, charred wood. I went to my family doc who prescribed an anti-depressant.

Fast forward to 9-11. We were actually in WDW at the time. Something about that event changed me. That event was so much more tragic than the fire that for some reason I had peace about the fire. I don't know if something checmical snapped in my brain or what, but when we came back from WDW, I was over the PTSD about the fire. I didn't suffer PTSD about 9-11, and I can't explain why I no longer felt anxious, but it was over. Strange, huh!?

Hang in there, we are all thinking about you, and hoping you are doing well!
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Old 03-16-2010, 10:59 PM   #22
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Hi Tara:

Thanks so much for posting. I'm sorry to hear about your DS's troubles. Our kids are really pieces of our hearts out walking around, aren't they? When you mentioned about checking on your son every hour that first night, it made me remember the first night that my DS was home from the hospital last summer. It was literally the worst night of my entire life. I slept on the couch that night in the living room...well I didn't really sleep... but I was on the couch all night because I was so scared that DS would try to do something to himself while we slept. I prayed the God to just get me through the next 15 minutes, all night long.

What a scary experience for you, with your neighbor's house burning and their son dying. I can't imagine.

I'm doing ok these days. Dealing with the "normal" stresses of life (DS18's car died last week, we're trying to help him find a new one, etc). He needs one because he commutes to college.

DS21's job didn't work out. Actually, it was going along fine, he was dealing with his anxiety of being in a new job with new people, etc, but then a week and a half ago he sprained his ankle on a pallet at work. As part of processing an accident report, they do a drug test (mouth swab) and it came back positive because he had smoked some pot at his friend's house a couple of days prior. They had to let him go. They were very nice about it and said they wished they didn't, but it's part of their policy. He understands, and was angry at himself for losing this job. Now we're encouraging him to apply at other places, and to make sure and not put himself in the same situation again. The thing is, and I'm not making excuses, but even his therapist tells him that smoking a little pot is good for his anxiety. In fact, if medical marijuana was legal in our state, he could be prescribed it for his level of anxiety. Anyway.... that's what's going on with DS.

DS and I see the same therapist (separately), and he's been away since last week, so it'll be good for both of us to see him when he gets back next week.

*HUGS* to you, please let me know how your DS is doing.
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Old 03-27-2010, 08:12 PM   #23
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Hello to whomever may be reading this

Just thought I'd give a little update. We helped DS18 to find a new vehicle for a great price (the tow-truck drivers told us about someone who had a Chevy Blazer for sale that a mechanic was fixing up for his teen daughter but she decided she wanted something else); we loaned DS the money to purchase the truck (he was able to pay us back once he sold his old car), and he listed his dead Camaro on craigslist and was able to get a very decent price for it! A mechanic wanted it for his step-son; the body and interior of the car was in excellent condition, and now the mechanic is going to teach his step-son how to install a motor. Within less than a week, the new owners of both vehicles were very happy, so that all turned out well.

DS21... wait, oops! Now he's DS22! His birthday was last week. Anyway, he's doing pretty well right now. He put in more applications and was called by a store for an interview. However, he found out from a friend that they do drug testing, and since marajuana can stay in your system for up to a month, he had to turn down the interview. Actually what he did was tell the person that he was not going to be able to come in for the interview for the a few weeks due to a personal issue he needed to take care, and the person told him to call him in a few weeks to set up a new interview. So maybe this will turn out OK. DS22 has decided to NOT smoke pot now, and hasn't for a week now, so we'll see how this goes.

I haven't been feeling as stressed for the last couple of weeks. It does still hit me once in a while (kind of like being hit with a brick. LOL), but it's not continuous as it used to be. That's a huge relief. 14 weeks and 2 days until our family trip to Disney World.

I hope everyone out there is doing ok.
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Old 05-02-2010, 03:33 AM   #24
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I have been treating for PTSD and depression for just about six years now. Mine stems from a long career in law enforcement where I witnessed many horrific deaths from homicides, car crashes, and suicides. I also shot and killed a bank robbery suspect. There was not just one incident anyone could point to. It was more of a cumulative type thing. However, the last suicide where the guy killed himself in front of me (instead of killing me) was the last straw. Life has been hell since then. I have been in and out of the hospital a few times over the past few years for mental health issues.

My symptoms have run the gamut. Flashbacks, night terrors, nightmares, lack of sleep, nausea, heartburn, headaches, ED, irritability, numbness, withdrawing from the world...the list goes on. I have been on many different kinds of meds and finally found some that work the best.

Treatment has been so helpful. I have gone at least once a week, sometimes more, for the past six years. I am much better off than I was before, yet I still have a lot of work to do. I am still rebuilding and trying to fix all I have screwed up.

I do what I can to avoid stress and things that trigger the thoughts and flashbacks. I can't avoid them completely so I have learned many coping skills. I too stay away from violence and watch little TV. What I do watch is happier stuff.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 05-02-2010, 01:11 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaSpray View Post
A couple of months after my DS's suicide attempt in July, I was diagnosed with PTSD. The problem is, my DS is not totally "well" yet; this will be a long road, and hopefully he's moving in the right direction, but I live in fear every day that something will set him back and he will attempt again. I don't think he'd fail, if there is a next time.

Anyway... I am seeing a therapist (as is he), but I'm wondering if any other DISers are dealing with ongoing stress like this. I mean, I wish that NO ONE was experiencing this, but wouldn't mind talking to others, if they are.

As of right now, I try not to watch tv or movies that could trigger undue stress, for example I'd never watch a program that deals with suicide, but sometimes I'll be watching something and a scene comes on that brings me back to how I felt when I found DS and called 911. I'm at the point where I don't watch the news anymore. I try to keep it "light" and watch comedies, Food Network, etc.

Also, I wish that there was more that I could do for my DS. I feel very helpless. I'm dealing not only with the original traumatic event in July, but the fear that it could happen again, every day since.
My sympathies to both of you. My DS23 made a suicide attempt when he was 17 and it was just the most awful experience. It took me years to get past it and even now I don't think I totally trust that he would never do it again. Unfortunately, I did the same thing about 18 months ago. Even though I *know* how it feels to be the loved one, I was so sick with depression and PTSD that it actually made sense for me to die! how sick is that?! And now my DH and my children are living with the fear that *I* might one day revisit this experience. And it makes me feel very bad for them.

It's interesting that you mentioned watching TV. I am the same way. After DSs attempt I could not watch any of the "teen angst" shows or prank shows. After my sis made a suicide attempt I went to be with her until she got stable--we watched endless hours of HGTV, the only show that didn't trigger us both.I couldn't even watch America's Funniest Videos! Since my severe episode of depression a year or so ago, I have been unable to watch my old favorite show, "House." Don't know why. I just can't watch anything intense. I'm a nurse and I was unable to work for over a year!

Just recently we were invoved in a terrible rollover car accident. We all made it with only minor injuries, but DH and I are having flashbacks and difficulty driving. We talked to a therapist about it and she says that when you have unresolved trauma from the past, new trauma can reactivate those feelings, which gives the current trauma more "weight" in the present. Makes sense to me.

All I can say is try to be gentle with each other. I don't know how long it takes to get past stuff like this. I'm kinda right in there with you. I do believe that there will come a day when I won't worry so excessively about things. At least, I hope it will. I try not to over-think things. when I catch myself perseverating and ruminating on stuff I have to say out loud "STOP! BE PRESENT!" I focus on the traffic light, the tail lights of the car ahead, the vegetables I'm chopping, the bathroom grout. Anything but my intrusive thoughts. Therapy helps a lot, as does the support group that i attend. Keep talking, keep dealing with the fear, don't stuff it down. Be present. And be kind to yourself.
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Old 05-03-2010, 07:29 AM   #26
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Although not diagnosed, I am sure that I have post traumatic stress syndrome after the death of my husband..

It has not been easy as one month after his death I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma so really never had a chance to grieve truly as immediately I was in a battle for my life. I have to say I am doing somewhat better lately with the help of a therapist and my cancer being in remission.. I am trying to take charge of my life again and it is not easy, but I am battling my way back to me...

I know I may be quiet here, but I do read and Seaspray, I hope only the best for you and your boys and husband and to everyone else here who has posted about going through these hard times in our lives..

I can only hope that better things are out there for all of us. I would love to visit our beloved WDW, but I am not strong enough to do it without Tom and physically my legs are not strong enough from all the chemo I had to endure to get to this remission..

Please take care everyone..
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Old 05-05-2010, 12:00 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Obadiah Stane View Post
I have been treating for PTSD and depression for just about six years now. Mine stems from a long career in law enforcement where I witnessed many horrific deaths from homicides, car crashes, and suicides. I also shot and killed a bank robbery suspect. There was not just one incident anyone could point to. It was more of a cumulative type thing. However, the last suicide where the guy killed himself in front of me (instead of killing me) was the last straw. Life has been hell since then. I have been in and out of the hospital a few times over the past few years for mental health issues.

My symptoms have run the gamut. Flashbacks, night terrors, nightmares, lack of sleep, nausea, heartburn, headaches, ED, irritability, numbness, withdrawing from the world...the list goes on. I have been on many different kinds of meds and finally found some that work the best.

Treatment has been so helpful. I have gone at least once a week, sometimes more, for the past six years. I am much better off than I was before, yet I still have a lot of work to do. I am still rebuilding and trying to fix all I have screwed up.

I do what I can to avoid stress and things that trigger the thoughts and flashbacks. I can't avoid them completely so I have learned many coping skills. I too stay away from violence and watch little TV. What I do watch is happier stuff.

Thanks for listening.


Quote:
Originally Posted by minkydog View Post
My sympathies to both of you. My DS23 made a suicide attempt when he was 17 and it was just the most awful experience. It took me years to get past it and even now I don't think I totally trust that he would never do it again. Unfortunately, I did the same thing about 18 months ago. Even though I *know* how it feels to be the loved one, I was so sick with depression and PTSD that it actually made sense for me to die! how sick is that?! And now my DH and my children are living with the fear that *I* might one day revisit this experience. And it makes me feel very bad for them.

It's interesting that you mentioned watching TV. I am the same way. After DSs attempt I could not watch any of the "teen angst" shows or prank shows. After my sis made a suicide attempt I went to be with her until she got stable--we watched endless hours of HGTV, the only show that didn't trigger us both.I couldn't even watch America's Funniest Videos! Since my severe episode of depression a year or so ago, I have been unable to watch my old favorite show, "House." Don't know why. I just can't watch anything intense. I'm a nurse and I was unable to work for over a year!

Just recently we were invoved in a terrible rollover car accident. We all made it with only minor injuries, but DH and I are having flashbacks and difficulty driving. We talked to a therapist about it and she says that when you have unresolved trauma from the past, new trauma can reactivate those feelings, which gives the current trauma more "weight" in the present. Makes sense to me.

All I can say is try to be gentle with each other. I don't know how long it takes to get past stuff like this. I'm kinda right in there with you. I do believe that there will come a day when I won't worry so excessively about things. At least, I hope it will. I try not to over-think things. when I catch myself perseverating and ruminating on stuff I have to say out loud "STOP! BE PRESENT!" I focus on the traffic light, the tail lights of the car ahead, the vegetables I'm chopping, the bathroom grout. Anything but my intrusive thoughts. Therapy helps a lot, as does the support group that i attend. Keep talking, keep dealing with the fear, don't stuff it down. Be present. And be kind to yourself.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mackey Mouse View Post
Although not diagnosed, I am sure that I have post traumatic stress syndrome after the death of my husband..

It has not been easy as one month after his death I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma so really never had a chance to grieve truly as immediately I was in a battle for my life. I have to say I am doing somewhat better lately with the help of a therapist and my cancer being in remission.. I am trying to take charge of my life again and it is not easy, but I am battling my way back to me...

I know I may be quiet here, but I do read and Seaspray, I hope only the best for you and your boys and husband and to everyone else here who has posted about going through these hard times in our lives..

I can only hope that better things are out there for all of us. I would love to visit our beloved WDW, but I am not strong enough to do it without Tom and physically my legs are not strong enough from all the chemo I had to endure to get to this remission..

Please take care everyone..
- My mom has the early stages of multiple myeloma - she doesn't need treatment at this point but every time she visits the doctor I worry.

All three of the posters I quoted, stay strong.
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Old 06-03-2010, 10:19 AM   #28
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I guess ill jump on the train. September 2009 i was diagnosed PTSD (This was after dealing with symptoms for a year).

Before i got help i lived in fear everyday. I was scared to leave the house, to go to places i once enjoyed. (My PTSD was brought on by medical related things that happened to me ill explain more later)

I was always in fear i'd "get" sick again like i did before or maybe the doctors missed something.

This might sound really pathetic but do you know why i got help? I won a trip to Disney. At home i could "hide" but winning that trip i knew i couldn't anymore. How could i explain why i gave away a free trip? I had so many things going on in my head. So i went and got help. Ive been on medication since Sept 09.

I do still have a hard time some days, some times ill smell some things and get scared & freaked out. But i am dealing. It is a daily thing. I just need to stop and try to realize i "am" okay.

i really like http://www.bringchange2mind.org/ lots of great storys on there.
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Old 09-04-2010, 11:26 PM   #29
SeaSpray


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Hi everyone

Sorry that I haven't been back to this thread in such a long time. I haven't been getting any email notifications that there were new posts.

I've been doing ok. Our family vacation to WDW in July was great. I didn't feel anxiety, stress, or anything negative the entire time we were there. You can see our family in front of the castle, down in my signature.

And it was nice to be away from work, which has been fairly stressful due to many changes going on in the last few months. I recently got a very good raise, so the stress level has diminished. lol

Last month I took the train to NJ and spent 5 days with my sister, niece, and their families. That trip was great, I felt so good being with my niece and sister, whom I hadn't seen in a year. I plan to go visit them more often, as suggested by my therapist. H said that too bad the train ticket couldn't be a medical expense. lol

DS22 is doing well. He's working at a job that he chose. He's a cab driver. To me, that would be a stressful job, but he likes it! The bad news is that a week ago I drove him to the doctor and it turns out he has a pilonidal cyst at the base of his spine, and he's been out of work for the past week and a half. He's hoping to go back to work next week. But if anyone knows about these cysts, they take a very long time to heal. I have to bring him to the surgeon once a week, and a visiting nurse comes twice a week to repack the wound. Eventually he will need surgery to totally remove the cyst. He is a bit down because he hasn't been able to work for the past week, but I told him to look on the bright side, that he's getting this taken care of, and he will hopefully not have to deal with it again once it's all healed. Like I said, his frame of mind has been pretty good lately. It's been so nice to have my son back, as compared to how he was early last year.

DS18 is doing well, just started his sophomore year of college.

DH had a massive heart attack in May. FORTUNATELY he went to the doctor because he wasn't feeling well (he had NO IDEA that the strange sensations he was experiencing were a heart attack!), and FORTUNATELY our doctor recognised the possibility of a heart problem and immediately hooked him up to an EKG. Within minutes he was in an ambulance being taken to the hospital where they performed surgery. Of course that was extremely stressful, but DS22 was home with me all of the nights that DH was in the hospital, and he did a good job of taking care of me and helping me to relax. On the night that they had to med-evac DH in to Boston, I came home really, really stressed and upset, and DS made a drink for me. I was sitting at the table, I noticed that DS was pouring the ingredients for a Malibu Bay Breeze. I said to him "Making a drink for yourself? I don't blame you...." and DS said "No. I'm making this drink for YOU!". We both laughed because normally don't drink often at home.... but he knew that the drink would help me relax a bit. DH is doing great now. He has quit smoking, he's taking his medication as he should, he's almost finished with the cardiac rehab program, he's eating well, and exercising.

Anyway...that's the latest...





Quote:
Originally Posted by Obadiah Stane View Post
I have been treating for PTSD and depression for just about six years now. Mine stems from a long career in law enforcement where I witnessed many horrific deaths from homicides, car crashes, and suicides. I also shot and killed a bank robbery suspect. There was not just one incident anyone could point to. It was more of a cumulative type thing. However, the last suicide where the guy killed himself in front of me (instead of killing me) was the last straw. Life has been hell since then. I have been in and out of the hospital a few times over the past few years for mental health issues.

My symptoms have run the gamut. Flashbacks, night terrors, nightmares, lack of sleep, nausea, heartburn, headaches, ED, irritability, numbness, withdrawing from the world...the list goes on. I have been on many different kinds of meds and finally found some that work the best.

Treatment has been so helpful. I have gone at least once a week, sometimes more, for the past six years. I am much better off than I was before, yet I still have a lot of work to do. I am still rebuilding and trying to fix all I have screwed up.

I do what I can to avoid stress and things that trigger the thoughts and flashbacks. I can't avoid them completely so I have learned many coping skills. I too stay away from violence and watch little TV. What I do watch is happier stuff.

Thanks for listening.
Wow, I cannot imagine how stressful your job was. Several of my brothers were in law enforcement, and they would sometimes talk about what they'd see at work. I'm glad that you're doing much better than you had been.

Quote:
Originally Posted by minkydog View Post
My sympathies to both of you. My DS23 made a suicide attempt when he was 17 and it was just the most awful experience. It took me years to get past it and even now I don't think I totally trust that he would never do it again. Unfortunately, I did the same thing about 18 months ago. Even though I *know* how it feels to be the loved one, I was so sick with depression and PTSD that it actually made sense for me to die! how sick is that?! And now my DH and my child ren are living with the fear that *I* might one day revisit this experience. And it makes me feel very bad for them.

It's interesting that you mentioned watching TV. I am the same way. After DSs attempt I could not watch any of the "teen angst" shows or prank shows. After my sis made a suicide attempt I went to be with her until she got stable--we watched endless hours of HGTV, the only show that didn't trigger us both.I couldn't even watch America's Funniest Videos! Since my severe episode of depression a year or so ago, I have been unable to watch my old favorite show, "House." Don't know why. I just can't watch anything intense. I'm a nurse and I was unable to work for over a year!

Just recently we were invoved in a terrible rollover car accident. We all made it with only minor injuries, but DH and I are having flashbacks and difficulty driving. We talked to a therapist about it and she says that when you have unresolved trauma from the past, new trauma can reactivate those feelings, which gives the current trauma more "weight" in the present. Makes sense to me.

All I can say is try to be gentle with each other. I don't know how long it takes to get past stuff like this. I'm kinda right in there with you. I do believe that there will come a day when I won't worry so excessively about things. At least, I hope it will. I try not to over-think things. when I catch myself perseverating and ruminating on stuff I have to say out loud "STOP! BE PRESENT!" I focus on the traffic light, the tail lights of the car ahead, the vegetables I'm chopping, the bathroom grout. Anything but my intrusive thoughts. Therapy helps a lot, as does the support group that i attend. Keep talking, keep dealing with the fear, don't stuff it down. Be present. And be kind to yourself.
Aww, minkydog, I'm so sorry for all of this. When I start thinking back on things, I do the same thing, I make myself refocus on something else. I still see my therapist once a week, and that helps. The last few weeks I have been feeling a little more anxiety than I had been, and he helped me to realize that it's because it was around the anniversary time of when things happened last summer. You be kind to yourself, too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mackey Mouse View Post
Although not diagnosed, I am sure that I have post traumatic stress syndrome after the death of my husband..

It has not been easy as one month after his death I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma so really never had a chance to grieve truly as immediately I was in a battle for my life. I have to say I am doing somewhat better lately with the help of a therapist and my cancer being in remission.. I am trying to take charge of my life again and it is not easy, but I am battling my way back to me...

I know I may be quiet here, but I do read and Seaspray, I hope only the best for you and your boys and husband and to everyone else here who has posted about going through these hard times in our lives..

I can only hope that better things are out there for all of us. I would love to visit our beloved WDW, but I am not strong enough to do it without Tom and physically my legs are not strong enough from all the chemo I had to endure to get to this remission..

Please take care everyone..
Mackey, I'm so sorry about the loss of Tom. I'm glad to have been able to meet the both of you at DIS meets. And now to deal with cancer and chemo. I hope that you are doing ok right now. I hope that when you feel better that you can go back to WDW.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDisneyGirl02 View Post

- My mom has the early stages of multiple myeloma - she doesn't need treatment at this point but every time she visits the doctor I worry.

All three of the posters I quoted, stay strong.
I hope your mom is doing ok.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmberHeartsDisney View Post
I guess ill jump on the train. September 2009 i was diagnosed PTSD (This was after dealing with symptoms for a year).

Before i got help i lived in fear everyday. I was scared to leave the house, to go to places i once enjoyed. (My PTSD was brought on by medical related things that happened to me ill explain more later)

I was always in fear i'd "get" sick again like i did before or maybe the doctors missed something.

This might sound really pathetic but do you know why i got help? I won a trip to Disney. At home i could "hide" but winning that trip i knew i couldn't anymore. How could i explain why i gave away a free trip? I had so many things going on in my head. So i went and got help. Ive been on medication since Sept 09.

I do still have a hard time some days, some times ill smell some things and get scared & freaked out. But i am dealing. It is a daily thing. I just need to stop and try to realize i "am" okay.
i really like http://www.bringchange2mind.org/ lots of great storys on there.
Thanks for posting that web site, I will check it out. I'm glad that you got help, and I hope that you're doing better these days. It really IS a daily thing, that's for sure. I have done the same thing as you, I've made myself stop and remind myself that I am OK. I've had to stop worrying about the future and what "might" happen, and instead focus on this hour, this day, this week.
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Old 09-05-2010, 03:35 PM   #30
minniebeth
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Seaspray, I'm so glad you had some positive things like your trip to WDW, the trip to NJ, your son getting a job he likes, a raise!

How frightening that your DH had a heart attack, but wonderful that it was diagnosed properly when it was and that he could take steps for a full recovery. Glad he is doing well, we will keep him in our thougts.

I hope that your DS' cyst will heal well soon. Hope all is well with your DS in college too!

Thank you for your update~ you remain in our thoughts and prayers that sunshine and peace surrounds you!
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