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Old 01-03-2010, 10:07 PM   #1
SeaSpray


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Anyone else have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and still living with the stress??

A couple of months after my DS's suicide attempt in July, I was diagnosed with PTSD. The problem is, my DS is not totally "well" yet; this will be a long road, and hopefully he's moving in the right direction, but I live in fear every day that something will set him back and he will attempt again. I don't think he'd fail, if there is a next time.

Anyway... I am seeing a therapist (as is he), but I'm wondering if any other DISers are dealing with ongoing stress like this. I mean, I wish that NO ONE was experiencing this, but wouldn't mind talking to others, if they are.

As of right now, I try not to watch tv or movies that could trigger undue stress, for example I'd never watch a program that deals with suicide, but sometimes I'll be watching something and a scene comes on that brings me back to how I felt when I found DS and called 911. I'm at the point where I don't watch the news anymore. I try to keep it "light" and watch comedies, Food Network, etc.

Also, I wish that there was more that I could do for my DS. I feel very helpless. I'm dealing not only with the original traumatic event in July, but the fear that it could happen again, every day since.
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Old 01-04-2010, 03:36 PM   #2
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Old 01-04-2010, 04:13 PM   #3
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I can't say I've been in a situation that has been that intense to be able to talk about how you are feeling, but to you and your family. I will pray for healing each and every day for you all. I have a DS14 in HS now and suicide seems to be not uncommon. They dealt with one this year and I can't even imagine the pain at the core with knowing how much we felt it as a ripple effect. Your family was given a gift of a second chance but not without its pain and challenges. I wish you peace and love, love, love to surround you all. Please feel free to come here to voice, as even though I can't give you thorough knowing of how you feel, I can be here for you in spirit.
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Old 01-04-2010, 07:13 PM   #4
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I have been dealing with PTSD for close to 7 years now - While mine was not caused by the same thing, I have been dealing with flashbacks and panic attacks ever since.

basically i just take things one day at a time, avoid triggers (such as tv shows with my event as a topic, like you do), certain foods, etc...

Mine never quite went away, but it did get MUCH easier. lots of therapy and love from family, and i am at a functional place.

hope things are getting better for you!
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Old 01-04-2010, 08:17 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaSpray View Post
A couple of months after my DS's suicide attempt in July, I was diagnosed with PTSD. The problem is, my DS is not totally "well" yet; this will be a long road, and hopefully he's moving in the right direction, but I live in fear every day that something will set him back and he will attempt again. I don't think he'd fail, if there is a next time.

Anyway... I am seeing a therapist (as is he), but I'm wondering if any other DISers are dealing with ongoing stress like this. I mean, I wish that NO ONE was experiencing this, but wouldn't mind talking to others, if they are.

As of right now, I try not to watch tv or movies that could trigger undue stress, for example I'd never watch a program that deals with suicide, but sometimes I'll be watching something and a scene comes on that brings me back to how I felt when I found DS and called 911. I'm at the point where I don't watch the news anymore. I try to keep it "light" and watch comedies, Food Network, etc.

Also, I wish that there was more that I could do for my DS. I feel very helpless. I'm dealing not only with the original traumatic event in July, but the fear that it could happen again, every day since.

i had PTSD after the birth of my first child. The delivery was very traumatic. I got a lot of counsiling and was medicated. It took a long time!

Where i think there is a little similarity is when i became pregnant with my second. I was soooo scare the delivery would repeat itself. I thought i would have to pick my dr.'s jaw of the floor when i told her i was pregnant. they got my into counsiling again to prepare myself they also upped my meds. When i went into labour they had to sedate me because i was so scared and stressed, that it was harmful to the baby.

i guess the point im trying to make without talking about myself to much is that whether its good stress (a wedding) or bad stress (suicide attempt) stress can be very debilitating when you add PTSD on top of it you can't do it alone. I think the therapy your getting is great. Not sure if your on any meds but it really helped me. You need to be able to close your eyes at night and see nice things.

I know its so hard but your not alone and i hope what ive said makes sense.

i hope your son gets help and live a long and happy live.

if you want to pm me i would love to talk more with you if you feel up to it.
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Old 01-04-2010, 08:55 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minniebeth View Post
I can't say I've been in a situation that has been that intense to be able to talk about how you are feeling, but to you and your family. I will pray for healing each and every day for you all. I have a DS14 in HS now and suicide seems to be not uncommon. They dealt with one this year and I can't even imagine the pain at the core with knowing how much we felt it as a ripple effect. Your family was given a gift of a second chance but not without its pain and challenges. I wish you peace and love, love, love to surround you all. Please feel free to come here to voice, as even though I can't give you thorough knowing of how you feel, I can be here for you in spirit.
Thanks so much for your reply. It's true that you hear so much about suicide in young people these days. From what I've read, it's the second most common reason for death for ages 17-22.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KPeveler View Post
I have been dealing with PTSD for close to 7 years now - While mine was not caused by the same thing, I have been dealing with flashbacks and panic attacks ever since.

basically i just take things one day at a time, avoid triggers (such as tv shows with my event as a topic, like you do), certain foods, etc...

Mine never quite went away, but it did get MUCH easier. lots of therapy and love from family, and i am at a functional place.

hope things are getting better for you!
I'm sorry that you also have PTSD, but I'm so glad to hear that you're doing better these days. I think that I really need to crack down more on what I watch on tv, at least until I start doing better. I don't usually like sad or violent shows at all, but sometimes even a comedy/drama type show can really bring some bad thoughts to mind.

I used to be a real planner, but like you said, now many times it's all I can do to think about one day at a time. :/

Quote:
Originally Posted by tabithakp View Post
i had PTSD after the birth of my first child. The delivery was very traumatic. I got a lot of counsiling and was medicated. It took a long time!

Where i think there is a little similarity is when i became pregnant with my second. I was soooo scare the delivery would repeat itself. I thought i would have to pick my dr.'s jaw of the floor when i told her i was pregnant. they got my into counsiling again to prepare myself they also upped my meds. When i went into labour they had to sedate me because i was so scared and stressed, that it was harmful to the baby.

i guess the point im trying to make without talking about myself to much is that whether its good stress (a wedding) or bad stress (suicide attempt) stress can be very debilitating when you add PTSD on top of it you can't do it alone. I think the therapy your getting is great. Not sure if your on any meds but it really helped me. You need to be able to close your eyes at night and see nice things.

I know its so hard but your not alone and i hope what ive said makes sense.

i hope your son gets help and live a long and happy live.

if you want to pm me i would love to talk more with you if you feel up to it.


I'm so sorry to hear that you had such trauma with the birth of your first child. And you're right, I've always heard that your body processes ALL kinds of stress the same, so even good stress can take a toll. Unfortunately, my stress hasn't been too good lately.

The only medication that I have right now is Ambien for sleeping, and Ativan. Last week my therapist mentioned something about an additional medication, and after today, I'm going to persue this. Today was pretty bad. It was the first time that I ever had what I would consider to be a panic attack, at work, in the light of day. Usually things bother me most at night, and this attack this morning totally blind-sided me. I started crying on my way to work, but then I shook it off, and got to work. About a half hour later, something out of the blue "hit" me, and I started crying. Not what I'd call hysterically, but as if I'd just heard some really bad news. I had to explain to my co-workers that nothing had just happened (they know what I've been going through the last several months) and I had to admit that I wasn't quite sure why I was crying the way I was. It lasted, on and off, for about an hour, before I thought to take one of the Ativan that I had with me. Before today, I had only ever taken it at night.

This is why I think maybe I need to be taking something that will help all the time, and not just wait for an attack to happen.

I have an appt with my therapist on Wednesday, and tomorrow I will see my regular doctor regarding a muscle spasm in my back, but I will talk to him, too. He's been my primary doctor for almost 13 years now and I really trust him.


Anyway, thanks to those of you might be reading this. It does help a little to type it out.


P.S. My DH was great; he knew what a rough day I had so he suggested that we all go out to dinner tonight.
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Old 01-05-2010, 10:05 PM   #7
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Saw my primary care doctor who started me on Zoloft. 50mg for 3 weeks, and then go up to 100mg unless I feel an improvement at that point, in which case I can just stay at the 50mg.

Also, today DS signed up to take 1 course at our local college, starting in 3 weeks. This is good, as long as he makes himself go to the class, its twice a week.
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Old 01-06-2010, 09:24 AM   #8
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Thats great news! im hoping the very best for you and your family!
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Old 01-10-2010, 11:39 PM   #9
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I also have PTSD that was from a car accident, actually 8 years ago today. I still have flashbacks and just watching the news is a trigger for me. I've learned to deal with it over the years, but it never goes away...

OP, keep seeing your therapist because that is the best thing you can be doing right now. And here's a hug for you:
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Old 01-17-2010, 03:43 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaSpray View Post
A couple of months after my DS's suicide attempt in July, I was diagnosed with PTSD. The problem is, my DS is not totally "well" yet; this will be a long road, and hopefully he's moving in the right direction, but I live in fear every day that something will set him back and he will attempt again. I don't think he'd fail, if there is a next time.

Anyway... I am seeing a therapist (as is he), but I'm wondering if any other DISers are dealing with ongoing stress like this. I mean, I wish that NO ONE was experiencing this, but wouldn't mind talking to others, if they are.

As of right now, I try not to watch tv or movies that could trigger undue stress, for example I'd never watch a program that deals with suicide, but sometimes I'll be watching something and a scene comes on that brings me back to how I felt when I found DS and called 911. I'm at the point where I don't watch the news anymore. I try to keep it "light" and watch comedies, Food Network, etc.

Also, I wish that there was more that I could do for my DS. I feel very helpless. I'm dealing not only with the original traumatic event in July, but the fear that it could happen again, every day since.
I totally understand your situation. I have a son who has attempted suicide and is bipolar. He has been hospitalized (psychiatric hospital) twice for his behavior and next week we go to court on his three counts of simple possession (marijuana) and public drunkeness. And two years ago, My DH was shot and killed in a robbery at the restaurant we he was a manager. I too suffer from PTSD. I am taking anti-anxiety pills as necessary and take anti-depressants. Sometimes I jump when people approach me unexpectedly and I have trouble sleeping. The flashbacks are really tough but it will get better. PM me for anything!
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Old 01-17-2010, 03:48 PM   #11
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I had it when my dad comitted suicide back in 2000 when my oldest was 2 months old. 6 months after I began to have recurring nightmares of him killing himself. That's when the insomnia kicked in. After the birth of my 2nd child in 2002, my mom got diagnosed with Leukemia. Post Partem Depression kicked in. I was hospitalized (I was not suicidal, I just wanted to sleep all the time). I was on numerous medications & took myself off of all them 6 months after & have been fine since. When I got pregnant last year I was at a much higher risk of PTSD & PPD, but I beat it this time! I still have my moments where the littlest things make me cry & I can not watch anything about suicide or Leukemia. If you need a listening ear, I'm here.
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:02 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDisneyGirl02 View Post
I also have PTSD that was from a car accident, actually 8 years ago today. I still have flashbacks and just watching the news is a trigger for me. I've learned to deal with it over the years, but it never goes away...

OP, keep seeing your therapist because that is the best thing you can be doing right now. And here's a hug for you:
I'm sorry to hear about your car accident. I've been in what I'd consider to be in minor car accidents and even those were very upsetting, I can't imagine being in a bad accident.

I agree about the therapist, I'm so glad that I made the phone call to the therapist a couple of months ago. He's been very helpful, and last week gave me some concrete ways to manage my anxiety.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TammyAlphabet View Post
I totally understand your situation. I have a son who has attempted suicide and is bipolar. He has been hospitalized (psychiatric hospital) twice for his behavior and next week we go to court on his three counts of simple possession (marijuana) and public drunkeness. And two years ago, My DH was shot and killed in a robbery at the restaurant we he was a manager. I too suffer from PTSD. I am taking anti-anxiety pills as necessary and take anti-depressants. Sometimes I jump when people approach me unexpectedly and I have trouble sleeping. The flashbacks are really tough but it will get better. PM me for anything!
Aww I'm so sorry to hear about your son. It's rough for so many reasons, isn't it. I hope things goes well next week in court.

I can't imagine losing your DH that way. You've gone through so much in the last couple of years, I feel so bad for you. Thanks so much for replying and letting me know that things will get better. I try and remain optimistic, not only for myself, but for my DSs and DH as well.



Quote:
Originally Posted by shelbys mommy View Post
I had it when my dad comitted suicide back in 2000 when my oldest was 2 months old. 6 months after I began to have recurring nightmares of him killing himself. That's when the insomnia kicked in. After the birth of my 2nd child in 2002, my mom got diagnosed with Leukemia. Post Partem Depression kicked in. I was hospitalized (I was not suicidal, I just wanted to sleep all the time). I was on numerous medications & took myself off of all them 6 months after & have been fine since. When I got pregnant last year I was at a much higher risk of PTSD & PPD, but I beat it this time! I still have my moments where the littlest things make me cry & I can not watch anything about suicide or Leukemia. If you need a listening ear, I'm here.
It seems like when it rains it pours, doesn't it. In July 2008 my father died suddenly, and it went downhill from there. DS had his first suicide attempt in September 2008, and then again last July. I'm sorry about your dad but I'm SO GLAD to hear that you're doing so well now. I'm not a big fan of taking more medication than necessary, but at this point in time I knew that I needed some relief from the constant anxiety and nervousness that I was feeling. I've been taking the Zoloft for just about 2 weeks now and the side effects seem to be diminishing (nausea, etc). I hope to not be on medication for a long time, but if it can help me for now, then I'll try it.





I'd like to thank everyone who has replied. It's not easy to talk about some of these topics but it's so helpful to see people who are dealing with it, it gives me great hope. Thanks for your bravery in talking about this with me and sharing your stories.


DS is doing well these last few weeks; he shaved, had me give him a haircut, seems optimistic about his college course that he'll be starting next week, and put in a job application today. Also, our therapist has sent us paperwork to fill out to see if he qualifies for assistance (minor help such as someone to help him with finding a job; someone to check in with him, etc) through the state health department. I feel like I can breathe a little, I don't feel so alone in this. My DH has been wonderful, but it's also great to have outside people to talk to (such as on here, and my therapist).
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Old 01-18-2010, 11:30 PM   #13
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Oh don't get me wrong, the meds did help me. I slowly took myself off the meds & I'm doing fine now. If you need to talk, just let me know.
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Old 01-19-2010, 07:39 AM   #14
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to ALL of you who have had to deal with everything you've had to. I am thinking and praying for all of you for peace and healing.
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Old 01-27-2010, 08:48 PM   #15
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A small update:

Hi everyone

I've been taking Zoloft for 3 weeks now and I feel like it's helping. I know they say that a medication like Zoloft takes 3-6 weeks to fully take affect and in the last few days I don't feel the jittery-ness or nervousness like I had been feeling. It's not completely gone but it's greatly diminished. I'm really relieved about this because it was fairly disconcerting to feel like I had too much caffeine all the time.

I think that the medication, along with the help from my therapist (ways to react when I start to feel nervousness) is helping me a lot already.

DS started his English class at the college yesterday, and tomorrow is his next class. Only time will tell if he will follow through with this and attend all of his classes and do his work and ultimately pass the class. One of his problems is social anxiety disorder, but hopefully he'll be able to do this. We're optimistic.
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