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Old 01-01-2010, 07:44 PM   #1
mjkacmom
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Totally OT - I'm watching a show about severely obese people

who wants gastric bypass surgery - one 900 pound mom lobbied for 12 years! She also hasn't been able to get out of bed all of this time. Wouldn't it be easier to just feed her less? She'd rather risk her life than suffer though a diet she would be forced to stay on?

I'd love to lose 20 pounds - the fact that it's hard is because I'm feeding myself. However, her family is feeding her 8 McDonalds cheeseburgers for lunch - give this lady a salad! Would you buy alcohol to a bedridden alcoholic?
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Old 01-01-2010, 07:51 PM   #2
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We watched that also and...

the same comments were made by my family. If she cannot get up, someone is having to bring it to her. She was talking about being able to brush her teeth and such, but only if someone brings her toothbrush to her. It looks like when she got up to around 300, they would have tried to do something then.
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Old 01-01-2010, 07:51 PM   #3
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Obviously the overweight person is going to hang onto people that feed them. It is a sick dynamic or a "match" depending on how you want to look at it.

It is no different than people that enable alcoholics, drug addicts, etc...
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Old 01-01-2010, 07:52 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjkacmom View Post
who wants gastric bypass surgery - one 900 pound mom lobbied for 12 years! She also hasn't been able to get out of bed all of this time. Wouldn't it be easier to just feed her less? She'd rather risk her life than suffer though a diet she would be forced to stay on?

I'd love to lose 20 pounds - the fact that it's hard is because I'm feeding myself. However, her family is feeding her 8 McDonalds cheeseburgers for lunch - give this lady a salad! Would you buy alcohol to a bedridden alcoholic?
I understand what you're saying and have thought the same thing myself. I've often heard the family members say things like "I HAVE to serve them this food otherwise they get very angry with me!" My thought is, SO WHAT?! What are they going to do, jump out of bed and slug you? If you stopped bringing them so much unhealthy food to the point where they lost weight and COULD jump out of bed to slug you, then they should thank you!

By the way, I do feel very bad for these people; their existence cannot be a happy one.
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Old 01-01-2010, 07:55 PM   #5
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There's one teen that has been on TLC a few times, and his mother is a whackjob. Their relationship is so unhealthy. She made him that way so she could keep him dependent on her, and even after his surgery, she said things to him like "Billy, do you want pizza? One piece won't hurt."
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Old 01-01-2010, 08:00 PM   #6
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people living highly dysfunctional lives very often have highly dysfunctional relationships.
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Old 01-01-2010, 08:05 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaSpray View Post
I understand what you're saying and have thought the same thing myself. I've often heard the family members say things like "I HAVE to serve them this food otherwise they get very angry with me!" My thought is, SO WHAT?! What are they going to do, jump out of bed and slug you? If you stopped bringing them so much unhealthy food to the point where they lost weight and COULD jump out of bed to slug you, then they should thank you!

By the way, I do feel very bad for these people; their existence cannot be a happy one.
I always think the same thing. You want 12 eggs for breakfast? Get up and cook them yourself! If not then here is an eggwhite omelet and some whole grain toast.
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Old 01-01-2010, 08:16 PM   #8
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I guess the people surrounding her could be the problem, but I know that if I was stuck in bed, and dying, I'd rather say "hey guys, sign me up for Jenny Craig" instead of waiting 12 years for a surgery that could very well kill me. Heck, I'd love to get rid of all our food, and have healthy meals prepared for me, and have no choice but to eat them (especially if I haven't been able to use a toilet for half of my life).
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Old 01-01-2010, 08:24 PM   #9
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Not to sound terrible but can you imagine the smell? If you cannot get out of bed to use the toilet and you can't really move then it has to go somewhere. I would not be feeding anyone massive amounts of anything if I had to clean that up all day.
I feel bad for these people in that they are sick but I do think at some point you need to stop being an enabler. I guess I am horrible because there is no way I would be cleaning the creases on a problem that could be fixed.
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Old 01-01-2010, 09:26 PM   #10
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She ended up dying after the surgery which is quite sad- My only strange query is that she had two kids-how did this happen (yes I know how this happens) but she couldn't get out of bed...I'm just having issues with this
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Old 01-01-2010, 09:44 PM   #11
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this is one of the misconceptions about gastric bypass surgery-that you have it and it fixes everything. that just isn't so. i am 5.5 years postop from gastric bypass surgery and i can say with 100% certainty, it is NOT a magic bullet. a person who thinks that this surgery will fix their penchant for junk food is SO sorely mistaken-it didn't fix mine. you have to WANT to get healthy, just like any other person on a diet, and you DO diet-for the rest of your life. many people think they can still live on junk, but less of it-that's just not how it works. i can see how this woman got to the state she was in-my DH loves me and wanted me to be happy, so before surgery, he fed me whatever i wanted, whenever i wanted-he was killing me with kindness. i am SO incredibly thankful to God and my amazing surgeon for giving me my life back, and i'm sorry this poor woman didn't get the chance, but yes, she and her family do bear the responsibility for the shape she was in, just as i did for myself.
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Old 01-01-2010, 09:44 PM   #12
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They don't call them crackberries for nothing!
talk about chafing!
 
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I watched it too. First off, she wasn't petitioning for 12 years for surgery. She was only 29 and up until 4 years prior she was mobile. Apparently she was in a bad car accident and damaged her leg. From then on she was bed ridden. She wasn't actively looking for a weight loss surgeon for 12 years.

And my DH and I discussed it as well. At what point does someone stop bringing you food. At what point does she say, HELP! It took a long time to get to that point. And eating 8 hamburgers in one sitting is way too much. I remember watching one of these shows and the woman would bring her husband 3 buckets of KFC! Holy crap!!
I'm with you. If you can't get out of bed to get your food because of your weight (and weight alone), then its time to get some medical help!!
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Old 01-01-2010, 09:46 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momof1princess View Post
this is one of the misconceptions about gastric bypass surgery-that you have it and it fixes everything. that just isn't so. i am 5.5 years postop from gastric bypass surgery and i can say with 100% certainty, it is NOT a magic bullet. a person who thinks that this surgery will fix their penchant for junk food is SO sorely mistaken-it didn't fix mine. you have to WANT to get healthy, just like any other person on a diet, and you DO diet-for the rest of your life. many people think they can still live on junk, but less of it-that's just not how it works. i can see how this woman got to the state she was in-my DH loves me and wanted me to be happy, so before surgery, he fed me whatever i wanted, whenever i wanted-he was killing me with kindness. i am SO incredibly thankful to God and my amazing surgeon for giving me my life back, and i'm sorry this poor woman didn't get the chance, but yes, she and her family do bear the responsibility for the shape she was in, just as i did for myself.
I could have written this post myself. I'm 2 years out and going strong but I do love junk food and it is a continual battle to choose the right foods. I continue to choose because I want to be healthy.
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Old 01-01-2010, 09:48 PM   #14
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I watch these shows all the time.. the only question I have is How on earth can they afford all that food? They can't work. Who pays for it all? Even if they are on welfare it will not cover the amount of food they buy monthly, how do they do it?
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Old 01-01-2010, 10:01 PM   #15
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There comes a point when you weigh so much that you stop maintaining and start gaining. The bigger you get the harder it is to move. The less you move, the harder it is to manage your weight, especially if you're not too inclined to monitor your weight to start with. I just don't know how someone gets that big and didn't notice it.

My sister weighs about 325. She blames it on her genes, says she was always fat. Well, I found our college yearbooks and she was about 140! Bigger than me, but still at normal weight. She has just eaten herself into oblivion. Her joints are degenerating, her BMI is 50, she has congestive heart failure, severe sleep apnea--yet she considers herself healthy. Healthy? She can't walk around the block! Her husband weighs at least as much as she does. In fact, they can't even sleep in the same bed anymore--they don't fit in the queen and a king won't fit in their room. And now her almost 12yo daughter is following in her footsteps. She is bigger than both my DD16 and DS14!

Lest you think I"m being judgemental, I am. I think it's a sin that she has let her weight balloon to the point that it's damaging her health and threatening her life. And I think it's a sin that she is allowing, even encouraging her 11yo daughter in very unhealthy eating habits. They wouldn't know a green vegetable if it walked up and slapped them in the face! If my sister dies, who does she think is going to raise her child? Her father? He's going to die too!

My sister doesn't know it but she is my negative role model. I hit 228 last year before I said, "Holy cow! When did this happen?!" so I did something about it. I've lost over 40lbs, so I still have a ways to go. But I am NOT going to spend my life obese. And I will do whatever I have to do to keep myself healthy.

I'm so afraid my sister is going to die. Rant over.
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