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Old 05-10-2010, 06:14 PM   #76
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I miss my Mom so much today. Yesterday was Mother's Day and I did real well all day. I couldn't get to sleep and today it's really hit hard. She's been gone for for 40 days. She was 93 years old and had lived with DH & me for the past 9 years. She was always here. She's not here anymore and I miss her terribly.
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Old 05-10-2010, 06:23 PM   #77
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I lost my mom on December 15, 2009, the day after DS#2's bday. She was on a list for a liver transplant, but never made it.

It has been a very rough few months, because her and I were very close. Yesterday was very hard for me. The boys and I took a pink flamingo up to her grave,(she loved flamingos).
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Old 05-10-2010, 07:20 PM   #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minniecarousel View Post
I miss my Mom so much today. Yesterday was Mother's Day and I did real well all day. I couldn't get to sleep and today it's really hit hard. She's been gone for for 40 days. She was 93 years old and had lived with DH & me for the past 9 years. She was always here. She's not here anymore and I miss her terribly.


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Originally Posted by momofboyz View Post
I lost my mom on December 15, 2009, the day after DS#2's bday. She was on a list for a liver transplant, but never made it.

It has been a very rough few months, because her and I were very close. Yesterday was very hard for me. The boys and I took a pink flamingo up to her grave,(she loved flamingos).


I'm so so sorry for you both, I wish I could give you both big hugs. It is so very very hard and hard to talk to with people who haven't suffered the loss of their mom. It's not a one-week grieving process. It's been just over 12 months for me. It is sadly so true when they talk about the first year being hard. The year was miserable for me. If you want to chat please feel free to pm me. I'll be thinking about you both.
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Old 06-09-2010, 08:22 AM   #79
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Missing my mom today and everyday. She has been gone 1 year today.
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Old 06-09-2010, 09:02 AM   #80
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Missing my mom today and everyday. She has been gone 1 year today.
I am so sorry I wish I could say it gets easier, but, well, while time helps it's still hard on the anniversaries.

Tomorrow my mom will be gone 5 years. Yesterday I was distracted by something at work and there was a question I had and I grabbed for my phone and started to dial mom. That happens a lot less frequently than it used to. It sounds cliche, but try to remember the happy times and celebrate your mom's life. I think that helps. On the anniversaries I do something that we used to do together. Last year I went to Atlanta Bread Co. because mom loved that place. Tomorrow, I'm going to get my hair cut. Mom and I always went together to get "pampered." It won't be an easy day, but I will get through it, and you will too. Take care of yourself.
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Old 06-09-2010, 12:07 PM   #81
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I had one of those missing mom days yesterday. It was my second birthday since she passed away and it was very difficult. But I thought about what she always said about me being her daughter and only child and it made me happy.

Everyday I wear the Mickey watch she bought me for the last birthday we celebrated together and it makes me feel close to her.

Suzanne
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Old 06-14-2010, 08:12 AM   #82
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I lost my mom 12 years ago on the 11th...it is still hard at times. My dd13 is graduating middle school on Friday and my oldest DS26 is getting married in Sept... and these are milestones that I so wish I could share with her.
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Old 10-05-2010, 03:53 PM   #83
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anyone dealing with your father dating after mother's death???
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Old 10-05-2010, 04:05 PM   #84
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anyone dealing with your father dating after mother's death???
I did. I had dad for three years after mom passed. Well i should say I had to put him in assisted living and then nursing home for his last two years. He wasn't a nice man so he had a lot of regrets the last few months of his life. He was totally oppisite of my mom. I was with him when he passed and miss him also. I will admit though I don't miss him like I do my mom. In one week she will have been gone four years and my heart still breaks. Hang in there and take it one day at a time.
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Old 10-05-2010, 06:22 PM   #85
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anyone dealing with your father dating after mother's death???
Yup dealing with dating, with her moving in with him and living with him for 11 years, with her controlling him and verbally abusing him, with her shutting my sister and I and all of his friends out because she was so jealous of him doing anything with anyone other than her friends, with him paying for her life- buying her cars etc - while she frittered her funds away on her grown grandkids - sending them money when they should be working, and now dealing with him grieving because she has had a stroke and is in a nursing home.

It's been a long and bumpy 12 years................but you know, it was always his choice and just like he stayed out of my decisions I stayed out of his and just made sure he was physically safe and not being stripped bare by her.

Cup of bitter for one please..............
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Old 10-06-2010, 08:32 AM   #86
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OH my! That is everything Im afraid of. Plus the feeling like she is going to take everything of my mother out of his home. That she will take him away from spending time with his grandchildren. UGH--

I'm thinking of seeing a shrink before I explode!
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Old 10-08-2010, 07:42 AM   #87
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Well, my father was never in my life (his choice) so I didn't have to deal with that. I do sometimes have a hard time dealing with the orphaned feeling and I am 37, but mom and I were so close. I don't really have anyone to turn to to deal with it and DH doens't understand because he has 4 parents to turn to.

Suzanne
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:08 AM   #88
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I too am dealing with that orphaned feeling as I have no grandmother, aunts, or sisters in my life.
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Old 10-08-2010, 07:03 PM   #89
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Hoping someone can understand...

I feel so much for everyone who has lost their moms~ no matter how old we get, we need our moms!

My mom is still living, but she is in advanced stages of Parkinson's Disease. She is in Hospice care, but I am still grieving in the process of losing her little by little. Three years ago, she went into assisted living, two years ago, nursing care. I live in Ohio, she is in NJ, so it is hard to see her. While her house was for sale, we would still go to stay there, it was still "home". Last year it was sold, and so it was so sad to have nowhere to go "home" to. We were still able to talk on the phone a bit and I could tell her I love her and hear her say it to me. Now she is in a deep sleep all the time, does not eat and cannot talk at all. It won't be much longer for her, but in the mean time, I feel like none of my friends can relate to my sense of loss. I understand that they don't really understand, so I try to be aware of that. (Their moms are much younger than mine, and still an active part of their lives.)
One of the conversations a friend had with me was about an argument she got into with her mom about who was going to host Thanksgiving dinner.
It was tears and everything from her, and I just sat there thinking how sad that she could even have this conversation with me knowing what I'm going through.

It's crazy how I feel like I'm a little girl who just wants to be held by my mom!

Thanks...
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Old 10-13-2010, 09:34 AM   #90
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Quote:
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I feel so much for everyone who has lost their moms~ no matter how old we get, we need our moms!

My mom is still living, but she is in advanced stages of Parkinson's Disease. She is in Hospice care, but I am still grieving in the process of losing her little by little. Three years ago, she went into assisted living, two years ago, nursing care. I live in Ohio, she is in NJ, so it is hard to see her. While her house was for sale, we would still go to stay there, it was still "home". Last year it was sold, and so it was so sad to have nowhere to go "home" to. We were still able to talk on the phone a bit and I could tell her I love her and hear her say it to me. Now she is in a deep sleep all the time, does not eat and cannot talk at all. It won't be much longer for her, but in the mean time, I feel like none of my friends can relate to my sense of loss. I understand that they don't really understand, so I try to be aware of that. (Their moms are much younger than mine, and still an active part of their lives.)
One of the conversations a friend had with me was about an argument she got into with her mom about who was going to host Thanksgiving dinner.
It was tears and everything from her, and I just sat there thinking how sad that she could even have this conversation with me knowing what I'm going through.

It's crazy how I feel like I'm a little girl who just wants to be held by my mom!

Thanks...

to you minniebeth, I experienced something similar when my grandmother was dying from her Alzheimers, but unlike with mom, I was more happy to see her slip away, because it meant no more pain and struggling for her, because you could see the pain in her face. I mourned her for awhile, but knew she was much better off.

I still have a hard time since my mom passed so suddenly, not even allowing me time to say good bye. It is not as bad as it had been, but I am starting to tear up as I type this. There are so many times I still look for her to get up and come into the room, especially when I am home alone.

Other people just don't get it do they, unless they have been there.

It's not crazy to feel that way. When Dh has to work and I have a day off, I wish she was still here to spend the day with, because I hate being alone.

Suzanne
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