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Old 01-22-2010, 07:28 PM   #31
circhead
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I'm so sorry for everyone's loss. I lost my mom Nov. 12, 1984 she was buried 3 days later on my 26th birthday. I still miss her.

She was the warmest, most caring person I have ever known. 10 years before she died, my brother was murdered and buried on Halloween. (I don't really look forward to any of the big holidays even to this day. I go into a funk that starts in October and I never seem to shake until after Christmas every year.) I turned 16 2 weeks after we buried my brother, and when I got up that morning my mom had a huge bouquet of flowers and a special charm my grandmother had left her to give me on my 16th birthday. I looked at her and said "Are you kidding, how did you ever remember all of this?" She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, " Michael, I can't do anything for anymore he's in God's hands. But you, Your're still here and what kind of mother would I be if I let your 16th birthday go without a word or a gesture?".


God, I still miss her and I'm so sorry everytime I look at my 3 kids (now mostly grown) and know that my mom never saw any of them and what is missing from their lives not being able to have had her as part of it.
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Old 01-22-2010, 11:24 PM   #32
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Wow, so glad I came across this post today. I lost my Mom in 2001 due to complications due to early onset alzheimers. Tomorrow January 23rd is her birthday. She was sick for 13 years and in a nursing home for her last 4 years. I miss her terribly. She got sick at age 66 and died at age 79.
One of my best trips with her was our last trip to WDW together... The illness was so new to us that I almost lost her near Universal when she walked out of our 1st floor Holiday Inn room, but my memories of that trip will last forever.
Hugs to everyone .....
Michele
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Old 02-07-2010, 09:46 PM   #33
Shelly F - Ohio
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At this very minute I want to be with my mom. I would give anything to be dead right now. God life is so hard. I have not been happy in a very long time. I would love to not wake up in the morning.
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Old 02-07-2010, 10:07 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by Shelly F - Ohio View Post
At this very minute I want to be with my mom. I would give anything to be dead right now. God life is so hard. I have not been happy in a very long time. I would love to not wake up in the morning.
Shelly HANG IN THERE!!!!! Life can be very hard sometimes but it gets better. Is there someone---a couseler, pastor, friend--- you can talk too! Others need you to wake up in the morning! If your mom passed recently than call hospice they have couseling. Just talk to someone. I know when I feel alone (mom passed three years ago and dad passed three weeks ago) i reach out to God. You aren't alone!
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Old 02-07-2010, 10:30 PM   #35
Shelly F - Ohio
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My mom passed in 1993. I am suppose to start a new job in the morning and now i think its not the job for me. For the past 3 years I have worked part time and enjoyed it. Now this job is full time and I am not ready to make that switch. I had been working at a job where we had flex time so I did not have to worry about traveling in the bad weather and getting to work on time. Now I will. Although I will on be working 10 miles from home verses my old job that was 30 miles from home.
I am really headed in the direction of not going in the morning.

Life is just so hard. I had dealing with all this change. I would really rather not deal with it or life anymore.
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Old 02-07-2010, 10:34 PM   #36
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Oh my.. to you.
Hang in there. The first year without her will be the toughest but when you feel sad look back on the good times you had. And know that she is with you everyday.
Shelly F. Above is what you said to me about my post. I know it is tough and I have been having a rough couple of days as well but, I know and I feel it will get better. I have had a lot of things to keep me occupied since my mothers death. Not all good. I just have to keep going and so do you. I know my mom, and I am sure your mom too would not want you to feel the way you feel tonight. It is hard. Some days better than others but there are some good days and I hope tomorrow is a good one for you. Please keep in touch!
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Old 02-08-2010, 10:27 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Shelly F - Ohio View Post
My mom passed in 1993. I am suppose to start a new job in the morning and now i think its not the job for me. For the past 3 years I have worked part time and enjoyed it. Now this job is full time and I am not ready to make that switch. I had been working at a job where we had flex time so I did not have to worry about traveling in the bad weather and getting to work on time. Now I will. Although I will on be working 10 miles from home verses my old job that was 30 miles from home.
I am really headed in the direction of not going in the morning.

Life is just so hard. I had dealing with all this change. I would really rather not deal with it or life anymore.
Shelly there is a time in life that I also have felt this way. My younger years were horrible. My dad was an abusive alcoholic, My earliest memory of him is being thrown through a window at the age of 4. I had a brother murdered when he was only 18, I hesitate to say this because it's sooooo personal and not something I really want to share on this wide open forum but here goes - I am a rape survivor, I nursed my mother through her last illness (pancreatic cancer) and can still cry over some of the things that happpened during it. I remember bathing her and her saying she was the mom and the one suypposed to be taking care of me - I told her it was just my turn. I went to counseling and learned to let go of all the anger and pain. I truly believe that God doesn't send us more than we can handle but there have been times I've yelled at Him and reminded Him I'm not as strong as He thinks I am.

Please realize that you will get through whatever troubles you are having and life really is worth enjoying! I met my husband of 28 years after the drama of my childhood and he truly is a gift from God to me.
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Old 02-08-2010, 11:39 AM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelly F - Ohio View Post
At this very minute I want to be with my mom. I would give anything to be dead right now. God life is so hard. I have not been happy in a very long time. I would love to not wake up in the morning.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimis View Post
Shelly HANG IN THERE!!!!! Life can be very hard sometimes but it gets better. Is there someone---a couseler, pastor, friend--- you can talk too! Others need you to wake up in the morning! If your mom passed recently than call hospice they have couseling. Just talk to someone. I know when I feel alone (mom passed three years ago and dad passed three weeks ago) i reach out to God. You aren't alone!
Shelley, all I can offer right now is this . I am thinking about you right now and hope you decided to go into your new job, they can be very scary, but exciting. I had to change from nights to days last summer and move to a different location with new people and that was very hard for me, I don't do well around new people and an very shy, but it all worked out very well and I am very happy with my job now.

I know I will have some of the same feelings you have now, later this week, Feb 11 is my mom's birthday, the second one since I lost her and it will again be very difficult. Now, I don't wish I was with her, that would hurt so many of the people that love me and need me here, but I sure wish I could give her a hug, My supervisor's birthday is the same day, so I will just bake a cake for her and hope it helps me through.

Suzanne
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Old 02-09-2010, 08:48 AM   #39
Shelly F - Ohio
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OMG its like working for Hitler... No breaks, on my feet all day, don't get caught sitting or you will get reported, no drinks allow accept during lunch in the lunch room. It is just horrible.

Hubby said to not go back. Since my old job had cut my hours to 1-2 days a week because they had nothing for me to do is the reason why I wanted to leave. So it was no big lose for me. Hubby said to go and volunteer which is what I had said back in Nov when the cutting of hours occured.

I really truely think I was having preminitions about this place and that is why I was having a hard time going to it in the first place
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Old 02-09-2010, 12:08 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by Shelly F - Ohio View Post
OMG its like working for Hitler... No breaks, on my feet all day, don't get caught sitting or you will get reported, no drinks allow accept during lunch in the lunch room. It is just horrible.

Hubby said to not go back. Since my old job had cut my hours to 1-2 days a week because they had nothing for me to do is the reason why I wanted to leave. So it was no big lose for me. Hubby said to go and volunteer which is what I had said back in Nov when the cutting of hours occured.

I really truely think I was having preminitions about this place and that is why I was having a hard time going to it in the first place

That is just unreal, I worked in a doctors office like that one time and it was horrible and I am a larger girl and standing just about killed my feet, I stil suffer today because of it, I was glad when they let me go, but that was back in 1997 if I remember correctly. Employers need to realize they can't treat people like that, I guess they figure there are desperate people they can replace you easily. I wouldn't go back if I didn't HAVE to.

I am glad to "hear" that you sound better today.

Suzanne
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Old 02-09-2010, 03:36 PM   #41
Shelly F - Ohio
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Glad someone else out there has experience the same thing Suzanne.

So what kind of cake will you be baking for your supervisor Suzanne?

I'm going to the hospital on Friday to do some volunteer work. That should help my spirits.
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Old 02-09-2010, 03:46 PM   #42
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to everyone...losing my mom was like having a piece of me ripped out. She died from ovarian cancer April 29, 2009. She taught me so much. I really miss her, and I'm sad that my daughter, who is 11, will not have her in her life. I live in Indiana and my parents are in Orlando. We were lucky, my mom was diagnosed as having 2 weeks to live so we had precious days with her. She was coherent and talking up until she got her morphine. It was SO HARD to go back down to stay with my dad, just being in "her" house. She worked at WDW, and so did I for a while...I haven't been able to want to go back. Sorry, just really bad day. My dr. put me on lexapro which really helped me - I think I need to refill it. Seriously.
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Old 02-09-2010, 05:44 PM   #43
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Shelley,

Glad to hear your spirits seem to be lifting.

Your hubby sounds like a great guy for telling you to not go back. He put you first.

Enjoy your time volunteering at the hospital!
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Old 02-09-2010, 05:57 PM   #44
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Jennz why are you having a bad day today? Is it because of all this nasty snow we are getting and how glummy it is outside?
Just thing Spring is around the corner.

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to everyone...losing my mom was like having a piece of me ripped out. She died from ovarian cancer April 29, 2009. She taught me so much. I really miss her, and I'm sad that my daughter, who is 11, will not have her in her life. I live in Indiana and my parents are in Orlando. We were lucky, my mom was diagnosed as having 2 weeks to live so we had precious days with her. She was coherent and talking up until she got her morphine. It was SO HARD to go back down to stay with my dad, just being in "her" house. She worked at WDW, and so did I for a while...I haven't been able to want to go back. Sorry, just really bad day. My dr. put me on lexapro which really helped me - I think I need to refill it. Seriously.
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Old 02-09-2010, 06:08 PM   #45
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Jennz why are you having a bad day today? Is it because of all this nasty snow we are getting and how glummy it is outside?
Just thing Spring is around the corner.
Thanks for the laugh! It is definitely glummy outside isn't it?! No it's not the snow, I really think it's because I still need my lexapro! The past 3 days have been bad, and I've been of it a few weeks b/c it's so darn expensive! I did fill it and pick it up this afternoon. It's SO HARD losing my mom, so much changes...you know, your mom is your harshest critic but also your biggest cheerleader - who's known you better or longer? It was a year ago I started going back and forth between Indy and Orlando, my mom had a knee replacement surgery and my dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer - he is fine now but actually had surgery today to have a stint put in - I guess it's timing, remembering...I don't know, rambling on and on.

Did you quit your job??
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