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Old 12-27-2009, 06:43 PM   #16
Rustysmom
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My mom died 3/26/08. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer only 2 months before, but she was having back pain and constipation since the fall of 07, only we didn't know it was something that serious.

I miss her so much every single day. My mom's cat Penny passed away right before Thanksgiving this year, which makes it even more sad. I can't even go into my mom's house anymore without thinking of the 2 of them and crying. I can't wait to finally get it back on the market and hopefull sell it next year.

Christmas was very sad without her this year, as we always went to her house to spend Christmas day, and we don't have much other family left at all. My FIL also died last year. I wish we had the money to go to Disney for Christmas, but I just lost my P/T job so all money has to go for bills right now. I'd really like to go for Christmas in 2010, and I'm going to save up as much as I can to make that happen.
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Old 12-28-2009, 02:41 PM   #17
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alamode - OMG I'm in tears at work reading this. Tinker Bell would probably love to hear how that story ended if you had a moment to send a note to disney with the date, they could get it to her.


I lost my Mom to brain cancer just a few minutes after midnight on Jan 1st, 1998. We had her funeral on what would have been her 70th birthday, Jan 4th.

She had been diagnosed in Sept with the tumor, before that she was in perfect health. Looking back, we can see the signs of what it was doing to her brain, although everything was very subtle.

She was the type of person who everyone liked. She was just a nice, sweet, kind, gentle, humorous person. She struggled with her self-worth for her entire life, but her last 20 years brought changes as she became involved in Community Theatre and took to the stage. She really loved it and audiences loved her. Over 500 people attended her funeral. She had been in the church choir for over 40 years and we had them sing, inviting back members who had moved away, or left the choir.

My Mom and I always believed in spiritual connections. There are many instances of psychic occurances with her and me while she was living. Also with her and others in our family. But it has been since she is gone that I feel it the strongest. When she is near spiritually, there are signs she sends to me. She is only around when there is something happening that I don't know about and need to know about - always involving someones health. There has been the final illness and death of her close friend, of my father's two brothers, his cousin, my husband's mother's brain tumor. And as if I needed further proof, while in an auditorium of 1900 other people, John Edward found me and the sign came through him. There's no way he could know. It almost brought me to my knees.

I miss her so much - I want to know little things like how did she dip the needhams without losing them in the chocolate sauce - or the big things - like telling me more about what her life was like as a child.

We go through so much our whole lives with education - but nothing teaches us how to lose a parent and how to live the rest of our lives missing them.
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Old 12-28-2009, 04:29 PM   #18
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I lost my mother, who was my bestfriend, to lung cancer on December 6, 2007 at the young age of 65. Three days later, our City was hit with an ice storm that had never been experienced before - totally debilitating and shutting everything down. We couldn't even bury her for another week which greatly contributed to my anxiety and mourning.

While I "keep moving forward" and am thankful for my DH and DS, I will never have the same joy as I experienced before. The world is truly a little dimmer to me.

And one bad byproduct of intentionally waiting until you are older to have a child [I was 35] was that my mother only got to see him to age 8 and he no longer gets to experience her unyielding adoration and love.
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Old 12-28-2009, 11:45 PM   #19
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I lost my mom this past Thanksgiving day. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in March. This Christmas was almost unbearable. My mom was scheduled to leave for Disney the Monday after she was diagnosed but cancelled to start her treatments. She finished her chemo and radiation treatments in Sept. We all went to Disney on Sept 17. She was a trooper. We sat down for dinner on Saturday Sept.19 for dinner at the Cape May Cafe and without warning she did not know who we were and where she was. We called an ambulance she was taken to Dr. Phillips hosp and she had 3 seizures. It turned out the cancer had spread to the brain quicker and more than they had thought. She was in 3 different hospitals in Fla ( all more amazing than the next) for a month until we flew her home on an air ambulance. My brother and I were taking turns flying back and forth to Fla. (we are from NY) The time we had with her in Disney was amazing. We had dinner in the castle the first night and we made it to the Halloween party the second. I am grateful my children will have those memories of her. She passed away after midnight on Thanksgiving. It has been rough and I feel so sorry for my dad. I miss her more and more each day. I could not believe when I saw this thread. Thanks for letting me share. I will keep you all in my thoughts.
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Old 12-29-2009, 12:17 AM   #20
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Reading through these posts was like seeing pieces of me written by so many others as we all try to deal with our feelings of loss and of loosing our mother and best friend.

My mother was only 59 when she passed in July 1998 to colon cancer. She was the eldest of 8 sibblings, so we always had a large extended family that was very close knit. Now that she's gone we hardly ever get together like we use to which is something else I've missed. She always made the holidays special and like others have said they are now very difficult to get through, the magic is no longer there. I still miss her each and every day.
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Old 01-07-2010, 08:51 AM   #21
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I lost my mom/best friend a little over three years ago and it is still painful. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer so we only had her for two and a half months after the diagnoses. We would talk on the phone about 2-4 times a day. She was a great mom/grandma/greatgrandma and best friend anyone could ask for! I miss her more than others know. I am glad she is in Heaven and in no more pain. I know I will see her again someday but for right now somedays are better than others.
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Old 01-07-2010, 10:29 PM   #22
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I lost my mom on June 9, 2009. It has been hard. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Her birthday would have been this past Tuesday so we had the holidays and then birthday back to back.
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Old 01-10-2010, 09:17 PM   #23
Shelly F - Ohio
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Oh my.. to you.
Hang in there. The first year without her will be the toughest but when you feel sad look back on the good times you had. And know that she is with you everyday.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moepanz View Post
I lost my mom this past Thanksgiving day. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in March. This Christmas was almost unbearable. My mom was scheduled to leave for Disney the Monday after she was diagnosed but cancelled to start her treatments. She finished her chemo and radiation treatments in Sept. We all went to Disney on Sept 17. She was a trooper. We sat down for dinner on Saturday Sept.19 for dinner at the Cape May Cafe and without warning she did not know who we were and where she was. We called an ambulance she was taken to Dr. Phillips hosp and she had 3 seizures. It turned out the cancer had spread to the brain quicker and more than they had thought. She was in 3 different hospitals in Fla ( all more amazing than the next) for a month until we flew her home on an air ambulance. My brother and I were taking turns flying back and forth to Fla. (we are from NY) The time we had with her in Disney was amazing. We had dinner in the castle the first night and we made it to the Halloween party the second. I am grateful my children will have those memories of her. She passed away after midnight on Thanksgiving. It has been rough and I feel so sorry for my dad. I miss her more and more each day. I could not believe when I saw this thread. Thanks for letting me share. I will keep you all in my thoughts.
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Old 01-10-2010, 09:25 PM   #24
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The first round of holidays without a loved one can be very tough and you made it though it Even though she was not here physically she was here and always will be. She is watching over you.

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I lost my mom on June 9, 2009. It has been hard. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Her birthday would have been this past Tuesday so we had the holidays and then birthday back to back.
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Old 01-15-2010, 07:51 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carol17 View Post
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 1987, and died 3 days after my 16th birthday on January 8 1988. Seeing her quickly slipping away through that Christmas was very difficult to watch. I was very close to my mom, and have felt so alone since she has been gone. Christmas has been such a sad time for me for many,many years. It was always a reminder of watching my mom dying. It is just in the last couple of years that I have started to appreciate Christmas again. Going to Disney and seeing all the beautiful decorations, and frankly, being able to get away from home has helped me get through the season. Even after all these years, I still miss my mom and think of her every day. It is such a huge loss and has changed me and my life in so many ways.

It's kind of nice to be able to write this here, because after 23 years, I feel like I'm not allowed to be sad anymore.
I know just about exactly how you feel..

I lost my mom Dec 16, 1988, two days after my 16th birthday very suddenly of a heart attack. I am going on 23 years of not liking my birthday or Christmas. Glad you can get away and I bet that would help me too, but my DH works retail so we are stuck at home or being with his family on Christmas. I feel sad every year during that time especially so you are not alone!
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Old 01-18-2010, 11:39 AM   #26
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I lost my dad to suicide Sept. 2, 2000. I lost my best friend, my entire world when my mom died on May 10, 2005. She had Leukemia. I was not pregnant for my daughter at the time, but I told her that I knew why she was leaving me & that she was going take care of Shelby for me til it was Shelby's time to be with us. She smiled & nodded yes. I told her to tell Shelby that I love her & that I will see her soon. My mom smiled again. She took my hand, looked at me & went to Heaven not long after. It was the most beautiful moments in my life & I cherish it always. Fast forward 2 1/2 years & I'm pregnant. 4 days after what would have been my mom's 48th birthday & the day after my 28th birthday, we found out that the baby was a girl. My mom sent me my Shelby! My mom's name was Lisa with the middle name Ann. My princess' name is Shelby Lisa-Ann. I cry all the time. I miss her so much. I have 2 boys & my mom wanted me to have a girl I think more than I did. One of Shelby's nicknames is my angel.
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Old 01-19-2010, 11:11 AM   #27
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Big hugs to all

I lost my mom unexpectedly in June 2005, just 4 months before my wedding. She was only 65. We were so close it was ridiculous! There were so many times that we didn't even have to speak - we just knew what the other one was thinking. We had so many inside jokes that I'm sure we drove other people crazy with our giggle fits and silly faces. I miss that connection with her so much.

The last thing mom and I did together was buy my wedding gown. The gown came in (over a month early), on the day my mom passed away. I went for the fitting the next day with 2 friends and just cried and cried. Thank God for my now-husband or I would never have made it through that first year.

Mom and I went shopping together and out to lunch all the time. Even when I lived at home in my 20's we spoke on the phone a few times a day and had dinner together, with my father, every night. I moved to Orlando in 2004 and mom and I were on the phone at least 4 times a day, every day, and saw each other at least one weekend a month. A week after she passed I was in Target, looking at a skirt, and thought "will this look o.k. on me?" and instinctively dialed mom. She was my clothes critic my entire life! Of course it went right to VM. I lost it. Right there in Target. I called then-DF and he talked me through it. It was horrible. I've had a lot of times like that in the last 4 years, but it does get a little easier with time. Mom was Christmas! That first Christmas without her, DH took me away to Savannah. We stayed in a little B&B and I got through that holiday. I would not have made it through if I'd been with my daddy and siblings.

I volunteer at Hospice and attended a class for adult daughters who have lost a parent (I've lost both) and our counselor said it best - You never get over it, but it becomes a part of you, and you learn to live with it.
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Old 01-21-2010, 12:12 PM   #28
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I am so sorry for all your losses. This entire thread needs a tissue warning. You are all witting such very touching things about your mothers!

I have lost my mother too but not in the same way as all of you. My mother was the most incredible being who was so giving and hard working. She was a fantastic parent and grandmother, and just plain one of my favorite people!

She left me slowly, bit by bit, piece by piece until all that I loved and cherished was gone. She has Alzheimer's. It is an unforgiving disease.

I miss my mom. I do not know the difficult preschooler who now has possession of her body and mind.
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Old 01-21-2010, 02:12 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twende View Post
I am so sorry for all your losses. This entire thread needs a tissue warning. You are all witting such very touching things about your mothers!

I have lost my mother too but not in the same way as all of you. My mother was the most incredible being who was so giving and hard working. She was a fantastic parent and grandmother, and just plain one of my favorite people!

She left me slowly, bit by bit, piece by piece until all that I loved and cherished was gone. She has Alzheimer's. It is an unforgiving disease.

I miss my mom. I do not know the difficult preschooler who now has possession of her body and mind.
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's so I understand what you mean about it being a slow drawn out process until the person that's is left is no longer the person you knew.

I also agree this thread needs a tissue warning.
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Old 01-22-2010, 01:01 PM   #30
JandJ
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Twende - I am so sorry for what you are going through. It must be like losing the person twice - once while their body is still here and then when they leave this Earth.
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All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel Mother (1940 - 2005) Daddy's little girl (1933 - 2008)

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