Teachers involved with private conversations - The DIS Discussion Forums

ckay87 · 11-24-2009, 02:36 PM

Generally speaking, do you think teachers of older students (MS and up) should take action on the contents of private conversations between students? This is assuming that there is nothing threating or scheming about the conversation?

Specifically, my son....who is admittedly no angel (so don't start with the "snowflake" nonsense).... got in trouble for saying to his friend "teachers are jerks." Got detention for that one. I'm sorry, but I just don't see it.

I'm "supporting the teachers" of course, but I don't know what they hope to prove to him. Frustrating to me when we are working very hard on appropriate behavior and consequences, etc. Told him that when he's in trouble at school, he's in trouble at home. But ... I don't know.... I just don't feel like punishing him for the contents of a private conversation.

And BTW, yes, that IS the whole story. That's the school's version of the story. Kids were talking, teacher heard it.

kafitty · 11-24-2009, 02:41 PM

kind of a violation of free speech, if you ask me. not that kids are guaranteed their rights in school, but it wasn't threatening or even directed at one specific teacher - just an expression of opinion.

i'd be a little miffed too...but that's school for ya.

XYSRUS · 11-24-2009, 02:44 PM

Kid should have been more quiet, IMHO.

dismom2 · 11-24-2009, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckay87

Generally speaking, do you think teachers of older students (MS and up) should take action on the contents of private conversations between students? This is assuming that there is nothing threating or scheming about the conversation?

Specifically, my son....who is admittedly no angel (so don't start with the "snowflake" nonsense).... got in trouble for saying to his friend "teachers are jerks." Got detention for that one. I'm sorry, but I just don't see it.

I'm "supporting the teachers" of course, but I don't know what they hope to prove to him. Frustrating to me when we are working very hard on appropriate behavior and consequences, etc. Told him that when he's in trouble at school, he's in trouble at home. But ... I don't know.... I just don't feel like punishing him for the contents of a private conversation.

And BTW, yes, that IS the whole story. That's the school's version of the story. Kids were talking, teacher heard it.

Honestly, I've heard many, many teachers bashing their students loud enough for others to hear, even parents. The teachers should be more discrete, too. If it was a private conversation, then no, I don't think he should get in trouble.

ckay87 · 11-24-2009, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XYSRUS

Kid should have been more quiet, IMHO.

Excellent point. I'm sure I said all kinds of things about my teachers back in the day, but I was smart enough to be more discreet. Perhaps this will be a good lesson for him after all.

If you don't have anything nice to say....say it quietly.

golfgal · 11-24-2009, 02:47 PM

It comes down to if you want your son to have manners and respect teachers or if you want to let kids say pretty much anything they want about anyone. What would happen at your job if your boss overhear you calling him a jerk?? What if another child called your son a jerk? How would he and you feel about that?

turkeymama · 11-24-2009, 02:48 PM

No advice, but I can sympathize. I don't think the comment was worthy of detention. That seems a little extreme given the circumstances of the comment.

happygirl · 11-24-2009, 02:51 PM

I don't think that statement was worth any kind of punishment, don't all kids think or say that at one tiime or another.

Now, if the kid had said I;m going to shot Mr, Jackson because he's a jerk, then the teacher should have said something then

ckay87 · 11-24-2009, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by golfgal

It comes down to if you want your son to have manners and respect teachers or if you want to let kids say pretty much anything they want about anyone. What would happen at your job if your boss overhear you calling him a jerk?? What if another child called your son a jerk? How would he and you feel about that?

Point taken, but if I'm frustrated with someone, I've been known to say "he's a jerk." And I do have manners and respect for people (so IMO that's a separate thing). And I would be sorry if they heard it. So yes, it probably is a good lesson - he needs to be more careful about who might be listening.

golfgal · 11-24-2009, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckay87

Point taken, but if I'm frustrated with someone, I've been known to say "he's a jerk." And I do have manners and respect for people (so IMO that's a separate thing). And I would be sorry if they heard it. So yes, it probably is a good lesson - he needs to be more careful about who might be listening.

No, you really don't have to be more careful. You are an adult and that is an entirely different situation. First, you have enough years to figure out you don't tell someone loud enough to be overheard that your boss is a jerk. Second, he is a KID and like it or not different rules apply to kids. Part of living long enough and not going to jail by the time you are an adult are the perks of being able to do things you couldn't do as a child. I have said plenty of people are jerks but my kids know better than to come out and say that about another adult.

nutterbutter2010 · 11-24-2009, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckay87

Excellent point. I'm sure I said all kinds of things about my teachers back in the day, but I was smart enough to be more discreet. Perhaps this will be a good lesson for him after all.

If you don't have anything nice to say....say it quietly.

I'm so using that!!!!

lacrosse_lady72 · 11-24-2009, 03:01 PM

Although it wasn't ok for him to call his teacher a jerk, I don't think they should have punished him- the teachers are sort of proving DS's point by punishing him.

I agree with PPs, in my day (and by that I mean I graduated in 2005) we at least had the sense to not say thing loud enough to get us in trouble...

Magic Mom · 11-24-2009, 03:10 PM

It wasn't really private if the teacher heard it. I think its a fair punishment. If he needs to express his disdain for teachers, then he should wait until after school. Some teachers are jerks, but school isn't the place to announce that.

Feralpeg · 11-24-2009, 03:14 PM

When I was teaching, I would not have given your son a detention. I might have said something to him in private about inappropriate language for the situation. As a teacher I was required to turn in a student if I heard the student talk about things such as drinking, sex, drugs, etc.

Tamarap · 11-24-2009, 03:17 PM

Was this said during class time or during a class lecture??? If this was said during class time, loud enough for me to hear, I would have assigned a detention as well.

11-24-2009, 02:36 PM	#1
ckay87 demented and sad...but social This morning I had "you can't overlook your underwear" stuck in my head Scared by a clapper in her teens Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 5,524	Teachers involved with private conversations Generally speaking, do you think teachers of older students (MS and up) should take action on the contents of private conversations between students? This is assuming that there is nothing threating or scheming about the conversation? Specifically, my son....who is admittedly no angel (so don't start with the "snowflake" nonsense).... got in trouble for saying to his friend "teachers are jerks." Got detention for that one. I'm sorry, but I just don't see it. I'm "supporting the teachers" of course, but I don't know what they hope to prove to him. Frustrating to me when we are working very hard on appropriate behavior and consequences, etc. Told him that when he's in trouble at school, he's in trouble at home. But ... I don't know.... I just don't feel like punishing him for the contents of a private conversation. And BTW, yes, that IS the whole story. That's the school's version of the story. Kids were talking, teacher heard it. __________________ [/IMG]

11-24-2009, 02:41 PM	#2
kafitty yep, that almost sent snot flying out of my nose Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Shore, MA Posts: 858	kind of a violation of free speech, if you ask me. not that kids are guaranteed their rights in school, but it wasn't threatening or even directed at one specific teacher - just an expression of opinion. i'd be a little miffed too...but that's school for ya. __________________ Kait S. [ fbk ] [ tumblr ] [new blog! fatCheerleader ] "I believe in naps." The right to free speech does not imply the right to be taken seriously. That depends on what is said. - Hubert Humphrey

11-24-2009, 02:44 PM	#3
XYSRUS DIS Veteran Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,100	Kid should have been more quiet, IMHO. __________________ Me DH DS(14) DS(12) DS(8) DS(6)

11-24-2009, 02:47 PM	#6
golfgal DIS Cast Member When did vacuums become a status symbol??? Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Minnesota Posts: 18,539	It comes down to if you want your son to have manners and respect teachers or if you want to let kids say pretty much anything they want about anyone. What would happen at your job if your boss overhear you calling him a jerk?? What if another child called your son a jerk? How would he and you feel about that? __________________ First trip to Disney May 29-June 4, 2005 AKL DH ME DS17 DD14 DS14

11-24-2009, 02:51 PM	#8
happygirl Wishing upon Okay this is starting to get freaky Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 6,861	I don't think that statement was worth any kind of punishment, don't all kids think or say that at one tiime or another. Now, if the kid had said I;m going to shot Mr, Jackson because he's a jerk, then the teacher should have said something then __________________ hubby Richard 37 me Jenny 32 daughter Ashlyn 6 son Brady 4 Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

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11-24-2009, 02:48 PM	#7
turkeymama DIS Veteran Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 542	No advice, but I can sympathize. I don't think the comment was worthy of detention. That seems a little extreme given the circumstances of the comment.

11-24-2009, 03:01 PM	#12
lacrosse_lady72 I <3 Disney Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Hillsboro, Oregon Posts: 3,782	Although it wasn't ok for him to call his teacher a jerk, I don't think they should have punished him- the teachers are sort of proving DS's point by punishing him. I agree with PPs, in my day (and by that I mean I graduated in 2005) we at least had the sense to not say thing loud enough to get us in trouble... __________________ WDW: JULY/AUGUST 2002, MARCH 2004, MARCH/APRIL 2005, SEPTEMBER 2006, SEPTEMBER 2007, SEPTEMBER 2008, SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009 DLR: APRIL 1998, DECEMBER 2005 wdw: beach club villas april 18-21 & boardwalk villas 21-25, 2010 dlr: grand californian september 3-10, 2011 wdw: wilderness lodge december 14-26 & hard rock hotel december 26-29, 2012

11-24-2009, 03:10 PM	#13
Magic Mom Has a blue rat for a pet I guess he just doesn't understand the joy of coupons I guess you shouldn't be playin' tonsil hockey at a playground! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: here Posts: 4,174	It wasn't really private if the teacher heard it. I think its a fair punishment. If he needs to express his disdain for teachers, then he should wait until after school. Some teachers are jerks, but school isn't the place to announce that. __________________

11-24-2009, 03:14 PM	#14
Feralpeg Diet coke lover Can now visit the parks anytime My DD, the movie star Sean Bean...is he related to Mr. Bean? Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Windermere, FL Posts: 13,849	When I was teaching, I would not have given your son a detention. I might have said something to him in private about inappropriate language for the situation. As a teacher I was required to turn in a student if I heard the student talk about things such as drinking, sex, drugs, etc. __________________

11-24-2009, 03:17 PM	#15
Tamarap DIS Veteran Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Riverside, Ca Posts: 706	Was this said during class time or during a class lecture??? If this was said during class time, loud enough for me to hear, I would have assigned a detention as well. __________________ Tamara

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