Mom in hospice...said my final goodbye..update post 65...shes in Heaven now :( - The DIS Discussion Forums

hlane · 11-22-2009, 09:46 AM

I'm not sure why I am posting this...I guess I just need to get it out, I am hurting so much.

My Mom has been fighting breast cancer & angiosarcoma for over 12 years now. She was diagnosed when I was 19 years old. Shes fought so hard for her life....I've never seen such a strong person.
She was readmitted to an inpt hospice facility yesterday. Last night about 6:30pm my Dad called for us to come see her & say our goodbyes. She was the most coherent she has been in weeks, maybe months. I got to spend some time alone with her as well.
She said shes tired & doesn't want to hurt anymore, she's ready to go home & see her mom. She said my grandma has been talking to her & they are waiting on her to join them in Heaven.
I told her I understood, shes fought a long, hard battle and it was ok for her to go, I would keep the family together & we would all take care of our Dad.
Once we all said our goodbyes they came in and sedated her, at her request she will remain that way, asleep, until she goes.
They said it was between God & the patient how long that will take but no more that a couple days at most. I left at midnight last night she was sleeping peacefully and still breathing.
I know this isn't the end, that we'll all be together again one day but I am going to miss her terribly until that day comes.
Its so strange, part of me is a basket case but the other part of me feels like I'm on a mission, in the zone, doing what I need to do to get me & the rest of my family through this.
I'm scared to lose her but I don't want to be selfish...if she's at peace with going I am letting her go

clovergirl5 · 11-22-2009, 09:49 AM

Im so sorry. May the lord be with you at this sad time. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

C.Ann · 11-22-2009, 09:50 AM

I'm so very sorry to hear this, but it's good that you have a peaceful acceptance..

The days and weeks ahead will be tough, so please take care of yourself and take the time to grieve in whatever manner is best for you..

Nette · 11-22-2009, 09:50 AM

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I went through the same thing last weekend, and my father passed on Tuesday morning. PM if you need to talk.

chisnpeke · 11-22-2009, 09:53 AM

I'm so very sorry.

MIGrandma · 11-22-2009, 09:55 AM

I'm tearing up just reading what you are going through.

On one hand I'm so glad you were able to spend some time with your Mom, and that she was coherant so you could talk with her. But on the other hand, I'm sure it was so very hard on you, and her as well.

I'm glad you have family to help you get through this, and you will. It will be hard (I lost my Dad almost 2 years ago - Alzheimer's) but hold on to the memories. That is the best part.

disneyfanforever · 11-22-2009, 09:55 AM

Your mom sounds like an incredible lady. I am so sorry.

disneygals · 11-22-2009, 09:56 AM

there are no words...

Kit'smommy · 11-22-2009, 09:56 AM

I am very sorry. Your family with be in my thoughts and prayers...

Robinrs · 11-22-2009, 09:59 AM

I only wish I didn't know your pain but I do... all too well.

Hugs to you, honey.

Briarmom · 11-22-2009, 10:12 AM

I know what you are going through, and I am so very sorry.

luvmy2sams · 11-22-2009, 10:15 AM

DebbieB · 11-22-2009, 10:22 AM

I'm so sorry. I lost my mom to breast cancer 4 years ago. She died at home and unfortunately we didn't have that "goodbye moment" while she was still coherant and I still regret it.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. My experience was like yours, we were in kind of a "zone" during the funeral and were able to get through it. But afterwards is when it really hits you hard. The memories of the end fade and then you really start missing the person they were during the good times.

luvmy3 · 11-22-2009, 10:23 AM

I'm so sorry, my thoughts are with you and your family.

Lovely2CU · 11-22-2009, 10:25 AM

I'm so sorry, both my parents are gone so I know how difficult and heartbreaking this time is for you.

11-22-2009, 09:46 AM	#1
hlane I find it very offensive that I find this so funny GO BUCKS I sometimes forget and call DH, DH in real life Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: My own little fantasy world Posts: 975	Mom in hospice...said my final goodbye..update post 65...shes in Heaven now :( I'm not sure why I am posting this...I guess I just need to get it out, I am hurting so much. My Mom has been fighting breast cancer & angiosarcoma for over 12 years now. She was diagnosed when I was 19 years old. Shes fought so hard for her life....I've never seen such a strong person. She was readmitted to an inpt hospice facility yesterday. Last night about 6:30pm my Dad called for us to come see her & say our goodbyes. She was the most coherent she has been in weeks, maybe months. I got to spend some time alone with her as well. She said shes tired & doesn't want to hurt anymore, she's ready to go home & see her mom. She said my grandma has been talking to her & they are waiting on her to join them in Heaven. I told her I understood, shes fought a long, hard battle and it was ok for her to go, I would keep the family together & we would all take care of our Dad. Once we all said our goodbyes they came in and sedated her, at her request she will remain that way, asleep, until she goes. They said it was between God & the patient how long that will take but no more that a couple days at most. I left at midnight last night she was sleeping peacefully and still breathing. I know this isn't the end, that we'll all be together again one day but I am going to miss her terribly until that day comes. Its so strange, part of me is a basket case but the other part of me feels like I'm on a mission, in the zone, doing what I need to do to get me & the rest of my family through this. I'm scared to lose her but I don't want to be selfish...if she's at peace with going I am letting her go __________________ U u First time at WDW!! Sept 6-14th- All Star Movies Second time at WDW!! Jan 25-Feb 3- Pop Century Last edited by hlane; 11-24-2009 at 08:24 AM.

11-22-2009, 09:49 AM	#2
clovergirl5 ♥Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.♥ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southwest Michigan Posts: 1,168	Im so sorry. May the lord be with you at this sad time. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. __________________ CLOVERGIRL5 ♥♥ JENNY ♥♥

11-22-2009, 09:50 AM	#3
C.Ann We'll remember when... No time for green bananas When the going gets tough, she gets the Palmolive!! If I knew we were going to be graded here, I might try harder Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 28,920	I'm so very sorry to hear this, but it's good that you have a peaceful acceptance.. The days and weeks ahead will be tough, so please take care of yourself and take the time to grieve in whatever manner is best for you.. __________________ C.Ann ----------------- *"Scars remind us where we've been.. They don't have to dictate where we're going.."* "Life ain't always beautiful.....but it's a beautiful ride." "We won't be sad, we'll be glad for all the life we've had and we'll remember when...."

11-22-2009, 09:50 AM	#4
Nette DIS Veteran Join Date: May 2003 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 1,122	I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I went through the same thing last weekend, and my father passed on Tuesday morning. PM if you need to talk. __________________ JB. There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't. http://jmday.com

11-22-2009, 09:53 AM	#5
chisnpeke Got the blues on purple tag night But there is NO WAY I could kill an animal and get it ready for eating Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Loveland, Ohio Posts: 8,206	I'm so very sorry. __________________ Laura

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11-22-2009, 09:55 AM	#6
MIGrandma A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she's in hot water~Eleanor Roosevelt I have a toilet problem 33 people looked, and not one followed the rule! Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 865	I'm tearing up just reading what you are going through. On one hand I'm so glad you were able to spend some time with your Mom, and that she was coherant so you could talk with her. But on the other hand, I'm sure it was so very hard on you, and her as well. I'm glad you have family to help you get through this, and you will. It will be hard (I lost my Dad almost 2 years ago - Alzheimer's) but hold on to the memories. That is the best part. __________________

11-22-2009, 09:55 AM	#7
disneyfanforever DIS Veteran Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 1,100	Your mom sounds like an incredible lady. I am so sorry. __________________ DH Me DS DS

11-22-2009, 09:56 AM	#8
disneygals Call me "galbabies" Has camera shy dust bunnies Join Date: Jun 2000 Posts: 1,725	there are no words... __________________ Made By Disneygalsdd

11-22-2009, 09:56 AM	#9
Kit'smommy Luck favors the prepared, darling. Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: The Sunshine State Posts: 487	I am very sorry. Your family with be in my thoughts and prayers... __________________ Me DH DS (6) Samwise

11-22-2009, 09:59 AM	#10
Robinrs Sistah Souljah! Others love Spidey, but Spidey loves ME They change color depending on the light old as dirt but still rockin' Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: Atlanta, GA originally from Bklyn, New York Posts: 29,443	I only wish I didn't know your pain but I do... all too well. Hugs to you, honey. __________________ My family!!

11-22-2009, 10:12 AM	#11
Briarmom Bessie Robindale Larry's been done. Laird is refreshing! I always thought it was my farsighted left eye that did me in Knows about bone folders Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Crappiest Place on Earth Posts: 12,903	I know what you are going through, and I am so very sorry. __________________

11-22-2009, 10:15 AM	#12
luvmy2sams Proud Mommy Flip flops creep me out! Drank cowboy kool-aid & now I'm married Drinks Rattlesnakes and does the 2 Step until 2am! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 3,806	__________________

11-22-2009, 10:22 AM	#13
DebbieB DVC Member BWV 99 You have to compare apples to apples Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: PA Posts: 28,860	I'm so sorry. I lost my mom to breast cancer 4 years ago. She died at home and unfortunately we didn't have that "goodbye moment" while she was still coherant and I still regret it. Don't be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. My experience was like yours, we were in kind of a "zone" during the funeral and were able to get through it. But afterwards is when it really hits you hard. The memories of the end fade and then you really start missing the person they were during the good times. __________________

11-22-2009, 10:23 AM	#14
luvmy3 When I drink I find its easier to watch my children because I see all 3 of them double, so all 6 of them of them take all my attention Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 6,692	I'm so sorry, my thoughts are with you and your family.

11-22-2009, 10:25 AM	#15
Lovely2CU DIS Veteran Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: England Posts: 871	I'm so sorry, both my parents are gone so I know how difficult and heartbreaking this time is for you.

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