Best friend is depressed...

[LUCiD]

...can someone give me advice on how to cheer her up? She's been going through a lot of crap lately and I can't seem to cheer her up, any advice? She has really low self esteem and doesn't believe she's worth anything. PLEASE HELP! Also, her parents don't let her go to anyone elses house and it's rare when she can invite people over, so that won't work. Neither will counseling for private reasons. Again, any advice would be much appreciated, thanks!

[LUCiD]

I found a way to cheer her up! If you have a Youtube account, go to YUKiCHAN953, that's me, and at my about me page you'll see the sentance "pinkhinagirl is the coolest person ever!" Put that in your about me page so that she knows that she is loved! PLEASE! She needs this! If you did this, post here saying that you did and/or tell her that people do care about her! Please, do it for her!
Edit: How about this? If you don't have a Youtube account, at least post here telling her you care so I can send this thread's link to her to show that she is loved!

[funkychunkymonkey]

If shes at all a art person, go buy a canvas, get some cheap paint (at walmart), a few brushes, and some tarp. Go in the backyard, lay tarp over the grass put paint on a plate and just fling it on to the canvas. It works for me when Im depressed. Not to mention it gave me new wall art (Cheap too)

[Mysteria]

Her parents won't let her go to couseling you mean? I guess I'm confused by "neither will counselling for private reasons".

If her parents never let her go out and rarely have friends in it's no wonder she's depressed. I have a feeling there is a lot more to this story though. Enough that you won't be able to cheer her up in the long run. If someone is in a bad mood or has a bit of the blues you can cheer them up. If someone is in a real dpression it will take more than that.

[wdwmom0f3]

There has got to be more to this story. Why wont her parents let her go out, has she told you? Maybe she has been grounded or something. It's sweet that you want to help her.

[maelstrom]

When I was younger, my mother also didn't let me go to friends houses or have friends over, because she didn't want to "be bothered with it". I can tell you that that had an effect on my depression, which I still have at 23.

[LUCiD]

The reason she can't have friends over most of the time isn't her parents fault. She's adopted. That's all I feel comfortable saying.
Edit: The counseling doesn't have anything to do with her parents. I can't tell anyone though because I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone the reason why. Her parents are good people, I've met them before and they're very nice.
Please don't think bad of her parents. There are reasons for their protectivness over her.

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Originally Posted by LUCiD

The reason she can't have friends over most of the time isn't her parents fault. She's adopted. That's all I feel comfortable saying.

It sounds like she might be either a victim of perhaps--discrimination by the parents of her friends or there is something more serious you are not communicating.

Is it--she CAN'T have friends over or friends WON'T come over.

B/c it sounds like you are her friend and her being adopted should have no weight on that.

****

IF she is truly depressed, lay people cannot help. We might be able to soften a bit by doing nice things, but it will not heal her. Depressed people can't be helped by the world praising them. There is something within them that blocks being able to believe they are capable of much more.

I believe the things that would help--you will only tell us that she isn't able to do them.

In your original post it really sounds as though her parents are the one blocking all of this.

And no, I'm sorry, being adopted is not a legitimate reason.

A youtube video isn't going to fix this.

Her having the love and support of family and friends will go much further.

BTDT myself. Teenagers especially are ill-equipped to recognize the proper signs of when help is needed. We just do not have the life experience, nor skills to recognize issues.

If you want to help--be her friend--unconditionally!

[LUCiD]

It has something to do with her birth father, he's bad news. I would never descrimanate against my friend. She's like a twin sister to me. Also, please don't question why any further, I've already said too much... It also hurts to see her like this because I've been a victim of depression as well.

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Originally Posted by LUCiD

Please don't think bad of her parents. There are reasons for their protectivness over her.

I don't think poorly of her parents since I don't know them and we don't really know what's going on.

But sometimes people do things thinking they are protecting someone when they truly aren't. It doesn't make them bad people as they just may be incapable of recognizing that. It happens quite often from something extremely miniscule to the helicopter parent who hovers over their child to protect them from the world.

My mother never took me to therapy as a teenager. It was only mentioned as a threat to get me to behave. It was as though therapy was a bad thing and only for really bad people. It isn't.

[LUCiD]

Her parents don't know about the depression. There's perfectly understandable reasons why she doesn't want them to know.

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Originally Posted by LUCiD

It has something to do with her birth father, he's bad news. I would never descrimanate against my friend. She's like a twin sister to me. Also, please don't question why any further, I've already said too much...

I'm sorry if you believe we are prying. However, I think the matter is too serious for you to be able to fix. And what her adoptive parents are doing to protect her, may be contributing to her present state of mind.

That's all. No need to provide you details, but you have to understand that most of us have dealt with issues of our own in our lifetime and our years of experience are indicating this is covered with red flags that you may not be seeing. So our responses will reflect that.


Good luck with you friend. Sounds like she has a keeper in you.