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Old 11-11-2009, 02:58 PM   #1
turkeymama
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Wow, DD called her teacher a jerk.

Okay. I'm feeling a wave of various emotions right now and I'm shocked. DD has always been a fairly well-behaved child, save a few conduct marks for talking in class. She is in 3rd grade and seems to be adjusting well (I've always been told this was an adjustment year for kids). She has only argued with adults to the extent that she tries to "present her side" of the story when she gets corrected. This has been a constant struggle trying to cut that behavior completely, but it has improved dramatically with age.

Today, I get home from class and DH looks like he's about to come unhinged. The teacher called today to tell my husband that she got on to DD for "hanging" (probably horse-playing) on a boy from her class at recess. My daughter apparently argued with the teacher and the teacher made her sit against the sidewalk (standard for bad behavior during recess). At that time, DD called the the teacher a jerk. This resulted in DD being sent to the office to see the principal. I don't know what further repercussions she will have at school, but I can only begin to think of the ones she'll have at home. I've left a message with the principal because we want to ask if there will be further repercussions beyond today for DD at school (we think there should be).

I'm humiliated, embarrassed, ashamed, and extremely disappointed. I can't imagine what possessed DD to do this. If you've read this far, thanks for reading. I just want to cry. At the same time, I'm so angry.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:02 PM   #2
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I'm sorry you're upset.

I guess I don't have any advice, since I don't have children; I just wanted to give you a .
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:02 PM   #3
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Take a deep breath, it's okay. She's got good parents who are going to hold her accountable for her behavior instead of excusing it. The school will appreciate your being on their side and you can work with them to address the problem from both sides.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:06 PM   #4
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Another reason to bring back capital punishment to the schools. This would have already been taken care of before your daughter got home from school. Than she should have had an extra dose from you or the father. The young kids today do not respect adults, and its the parents fault.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:06 PM   #5
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Its ok....Im sure the moment got the best of her. I have a dd6 who Im always afraid the principal will be calling about something that comes outta her mouth. I would just remind her that behavior isn't exceptable to a teacher or anyone. I would make her appologize to her teacher and write a note to the teacher explaining why it is not appropriate, and then take something that she likes/privilege away.
Im sure this won't happen again. We all have bad days and things that shouldn't come out of our mouths, sometimes do. Even kids! I know, been there believe me
Don't feel embarassed or ashamed, Im sure you are not the only one things like this happens to. You just don't hear about them.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:09 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by JPN4265 View Post
Another reason to bring back capital punishment to the schools. This would have already been taken care of before your daughter got home from school. Than she should have had an extra dose from you or the father. The young kids today do not respect adults, and its the parents fault.
WOW! I can't believe Im reading that comment. I don't even know what to say to that. Capital punishment and its the parents fault?? Just WOW. What decade are you from?
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:10 PM   #7
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It's refreshing to see a parent who wants their child to take responsibility and pay the consequences for their actions. There are many other people who would be here complaining that the the teacher had the nerve to send the child to the principal for the same action. Good luck and keep up the good work!
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:10 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JPN4265 View Post
Another reason to bring back capital punishment to the schools. This would have already been taken care of before your daughter got home from school. Than she should have had an extra dose from you or the father. The young kids today do not respect adults, and its the parents fault.
Oh yeah, capital punishment really worked. Give me a break! I remember being back in school and the kids would get a choice between the paddle or some other form of punishment (such as suspension, parent conference, etc). The guys I knew always chose the paddle.

Op, just follow up at home and don't sweat it. Hopefully she has a good teacher who will make sure that tomorrow is a fresh start. I can't think of too many kids who haven't done something mortifying.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:11 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JPN4265 View Post
Another reason to bring back capital punishment to the schools. This would have already been taken care of before your daughter got home from school. Than she should have had an extra dose from you or the father. The young kids today do not respect adults, and its the parents fault.
I 100% agree. I see if in my DD's friends. The parents want to be their friends not their parents, and these kids get away with murder. If I'd have tried what they do I would have caught a backhand from my parents and therefore I didn't try it.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:13 PM   #10
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I would have her write a long letter of apology. I would also have her look up definitions to words that have to do with respect and write those out. I would also probably pick a small ongoing punishment at home. Lastly, I would look at how we were talking around the house. Do you tend to call others names, even jokingly? Kids really absorb the speech patterns of the adults around them.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:14 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JPN4265 View Post
Another reason to bring back capital punishment to the schools. This would have already been taken care of before your daughter got home from school. Than she should have had an extra dose from you or the father. The young kids today do not respect adults, and its the parents fault.
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WOW! I can't believe Im reading that comment. I don't even know what to say to that. Capital punishment and its the parents fault?? Just WOW. What decade are you from?

DH is not opposed to corporal punishment, but I can tell you it has never worked for DD. Other methods of punishment have worked for her. As a friend of mine says, when kids act out, it is our job to raise the "suck-factor" of the kid's life. That is what will happen at home. DD's life will be miserable for the immediate future. We just haven't decided for how long yet.

I agree that this is about a lack of respect, but this level of disrespect is very out of character for DD. She has never done anything like this before. We are taking responsibility for it though. That's what parents do.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:14 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JPN4265 View Post
Another reason to bring back capital punishment to the schools. This would have already been taken care of before your daughter got home from school. Than she should have had an extra dose from you or the father. The young kids today do not respect adults, and its the parents fault.
I think you mean "corporal" punishment. Capital punishment would be taking things way too far! OP, I think you can make your point that insulting a teacher will not be tolerating without any hitting.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:16 PM   #13
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So, to the posters who are for capital (oooh, I mean corporal) punishment, just a ?....you would have absolutely no problem if your kid came home crying that their teacher spanked them or chastised them? I just can't put myself there, I don't understand that. Nobody better lay a hand on my kid. Thats my job as their parent. JMO, I just wanted to know, not trying to flame anyone
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:18 PM   #14
turkeymama
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tw1nsmom View Post
I would have her write a long letter of apology. I would also have her look up definitions to words that have to do with respect and write those out. I would also probably pick a small ongoing punishment at home. Lastly, I would look at how we were talking around the house. Do you tend to call others names, even jokingly? Kids really absorb the speech patterns of the adults around them.
I'm thinking about something along these lines with the letter.

As to the name-calling, we call each other 'goobers' and 'goober-heads' around the house, only when we're being silly and playing. I get what you're saying and I'll keep it in mind. I'm sure I say things when I shouldn't without realizing, or without realizing that she hears me.
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:19 PM   #15
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I think you mean "corporal" punishment. Capital punishment would be taking things way too far! OP, I think you can make your point that insulting a teacher will not be tolerating without any hitting.
I think so too. She is 9 years old and that is plenty old enough to understand the consequences of her actions.
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