Getting stalked at Disney

[nerdyone]

My wife and I were friends with another couple for several years until recently (I got laid off and he made welfare jokes which I found very offensive). We haven't spoken in 3 months and I thought that they were out of our lives.

Well, my sister who works at Disney World didn't know that I was no longer talking to them helped them book a trip to Disney. Apparently, our former friends knew we had a trip booked via facebook and decided that the best way to reconnect was to book a trip at the same time we are going. They are booked in a different hotel, but I know I am going to run into them.

In order to avoid any kind of awkwardness, I called my former friend to try and make everything nice. I was able to smooth things over, but they are still very opinionated (making jokes about me being on unemployment and being a stay at home dad as well as attacks on our politics) and are generally kind of weird.

I just found out last week that our "friends" have moved their hotel to our hotel and didn't even tell us. They told my sister that they intend to surprise us when we get there!

I am going on a family trip with my wife, son, parents, and sister and her husband. The last thing I want to do is get straddled with our former friends who have done zero research on Disney. They have called me nonstop to get information and no matter how much I try and help them, they refuse to listen. They are driving me nuts!

I just changed our hotel to the GF so we can avoid them at the Poly but I know they are going to be calling me non stop while we are there. I do not want to be stuck with them and there 3 kids (all under 4) the entire time.

[ogreenlee]

They don't seem to care that they offend you. You need to stop worrying about offending them.

Don't answer the phone when they call. If you run into them, tell them... I'm here on a family vacation with my parents, so sorry if it hasn't worked out with them.

If they want to spend time, say... "We have ADRs, and to add 6 people would be impossible". Then tell them you'll see them back home and to have fun.

Then if they get snippy say, "Ya know, I have to enjoy my free welfare time while I got it. Got it?" Then roll your eyes and walk off.

[nerdyone]

Originally Posted by ogreenlee

They don't seem to care that they offend you. You need to stop worrying about offending them.

Don't answer the phone when they call. If you run into them, tell them... I'm here on a family vacation with my parents, so sorry if it hasn't worked out with them.

If they want to spend time, say... "We have ADRs, and to add 6 people would be impossible". Then tell them you'll see them back home and to have fun.

Then if they get snippy say, "Ya know, I have to enjoy my free welfare time while I got it. Got it?" Then roll your eyes and walk off.

Yeah, my wife and I are pretty much agreed on that. Since I am on unemployment, they think that we should be starving! My wife is a VP for a medical company, so it's not like we can't afford the trip. And it's not like I havent worked for the past 8 years for the same company. This economy just stinks.

I just hate being a jerk to people, especially with people we were friends with for years.

[goofy4tink]

Originally Posted by ogreenlee

They don't seem to care that they offend you. You need to stop worrying about offending them.

Don't answer the phone when they call. If you run into them, tell them... I'm here on a family vacation with my parents, so sorry if it hasn't worked out with them.

If they want to spend time, say... "We have ADRs, and to add 6 people would be impossible". Then tell them you'll see them back home and to have fun.

Then if they get snippy say, "Ya know, I have to enjoy my free welfare time while I got it. Got it?" Then roll your eyes and walk off.

Love, just love the 'free welfare time' comment. Too funny.
You don't owe them much in the way of politeness. I wouldn't answer the phone calls. Don't answer the room phone...let them leave a message, then 'Oh, we're so sorry. We didn't get back to our room until late, so never got your message.'
Same with your cell phone....let it go to voice mail. Again...'Oh, sorry, the phone has been off since we're in attractions so often. Besides, no one needs to get in touch with a stay at home dad!!'

It's all well and good to be friendly and such, but not if it's going to put a damper on your trip. You can be polite but you are not obligated to do anything with them while in WDW. You made your plans...sorry, but there just isn't any way to add extras to ADRs.

You know...we have friends that fight and argue whenever we're around. At first we would be very uncomfortable, but we decided that they are just very comfortable with us and don't feel the need to 'be polite'. Once we got over that, we were fine. Perhaps that is the case with your friends....maybe they think you understand that they are just 'teasing', even though it is hurtful teasing. I wonder if they realize how hurtful it really is.

[WDSearcher]

I'm thinking it will be far less of an issue once you are all AT WDW than it is now. Once they get there, they'll be overwhelmed by the parks, restaurants, resort options, pools, activities, etc. They're not going to have time to call you a hundred times a day. And if they do ... well ... your cell phone has an "off" button for a reason. And there's nothing wrong with unplugging your room phone.

WDW is over 1000 acres (and that's just the four parks, never mind DTD, water parks, golf courses, etc). The likelihood that you'll keep running into them is pretty slim, particularly if they don't know their way around. And there's nothing wrong with telling them you're going to Hoop Dee Doo on Friday night when you're really planning on being at the Luau, KWIM?

And for gosh sakes -- take your vacation info off your Facebook page and don't post your itinerary anywhere!!

[Coach81]

Wow.. that is a shame.. going to Disney.. scared.. and stressed..

I hope it all works out for you.

[nerdyone]

Originally Posted by WDSearcher

I'm thinking it will be far less of an issue once you are all AT WDW than it is now. Once they get there, they'll be overwhelmed by the parks, restaurants, resort options, pools, activities, etc. They're not going to have time to call you a hundred times a day. And if they do ... well ... your cell phone has an "off" button for a reason. And there's nothing wrong with unplugging your room phone.

WDW is over 1000 acres (and that's just the four parks, never mind DTD, water parks, golf courses, etc). The likelihood that you'll keep running into them is pretty slim, particularly if they don't know their way around. And there's nothing wrong with telling them you're going to Hoop Dee Doo on Friday night when you're really planning on being at the Luau, KWIM?

And for gosh sakes -- take your vacation info off your Facebook page and don't post your itinerary anywhere!!

My wife and I thought the same thing, until we did the Great Urban Race and ran into three friends in one hour running through the city. It a city of several million, who would ever think to run into several people you know?

[kwitcherkicken99]

If they go out of the way to insult your employment, they aren't really your friends. There are plenty of other things to poke fun at... religion, politics, and employment (or unemployment) aren't really a laughing matter.

Who cares if you are a SAHD??? If that works for your family, you guys made the decision that is best for your kids. Forget your "friends."

I agree with PPs that if you run into them, say hi, you don't have to ignore them completely BUT don't break your neck to plan things. IMHO, I wouldn't risk having them throw out more jabs at me while I'm vacation, and especially not in front of my kids. It is your vacation time with your family. Make it worth it.

[ncmickeyluvr]

I have been accused of being a bit too forward......so take my advice with a grain of salt....but I think avoiding their calls is wayyyyyy too passive aggressive. You've made up your mind that these people are not for you...why let them invite themselves on your vacation??? I think you should give them a call and break up with them!!! If you do it in a planned way there's no need to be mean.....but if you wait you may end up irratated and making things worse.

[beansmom]

i guess MY take on this is a bit different. I would tell them (and believe me...I am VERY non-confrontational) that I have no interest in spending time with them ...here...there...or ANYWHERE..and then I'd walk away.

I have a 'friend' who feels she can say anything that pops into her head. Um...NO...she can't. When I get my 'gutfull', I just stop talking to her for a while. I don't need MORE stress and drama in my life...I have plenty already, thanks.

I agree, you have no obligation to be polite to these people. Go and enjoy your vacation and ignore them if you see them.

[hearts8701]

first when your at disney you will see the phone reception really is bad it took 8 hours for a text message to be received
second how nice of you to call these people [Bfriend[/b]

[kmk1180]

Originally Posted by WDSearcher

And for gosh sakes -- take your vacation info off your Facebook page and don't post your itinerary anywhere!!

Very True...if you put information out for the whole world to see you have to expect anyone will see it, even people you don't like.

Just have your vacation and forget about them.
If you run into them or they track you down, there's a million excusess to give them.
including, saying this is my family time and you just want to spend it just with your family.


As for being stalking at WDW....your not alone...happens to me all the time.
There's this little mouse wherever I go, he's there too. I don't know how he knows where
I'm be that day but I can't shake him.

[2Tiggies]

Hi NerdyOne!

As you know, your identity is not wrapped up in what you do for a living - neither does the level of respect towards you depend on this. I think you need to be quite firm with these folks if they make unwelcome remarks about your current situation. For goodness sake, you don't have even need to be someone's friend to know that! Perhaps they just need it to be spelled out to them to bring it to their attention - as a previous poster said, they may not be aware of how hurtful their remarks are.

Just wondering if part of their surprise of checking into the same hotel entails picking up the tab for you .... seeing you are unemployed and all ...
(I know you can afford the trip as mentioned in your second post).

I say, keep your head up and go enjoy your vacation with your family. You certainly deserve it - may it be the best one you've had yet!

[LMO429]

I would just send them a link to this thread in an email

Just kidding!

Honestly I live in nyc its a big place with a lot going similiar to wdw..I NEVER just randomly walk into one of my friends on the street. Unless you tell these "friends" where you are going on what day the odds of you running into them are slim. Besides you probably know good touring techniques like waking up for rope drops while your "friends" will probably be sleeping in. You have your adrs while your "friends" will be standing at the podium for hours on end..the list goes on and on..

as far as your phone goes shut it off and let all messages go directly to voicemail.

disneyworld is my happy place! I try and avoid negativity the second I step off the plane! I hope you have a wonderful trip

[TDC Nala]

Change the dates of your trip, if you can. And don't put the new dates on facebook...