questions about taking father to WDW

[poegirl30]

My kids (17, 15, 4) and I will be going to Disney right before Christmas (12.19-12.23) with my dad (my DH has to work). The questions that I have deal with my dad's recent dx of dementia (early stage). He (62) has been on Aricept for two months and has been doing really well. He is still working part time, and for the most part is doing OK. He is somewhat forgetful and gets a little agitated, but the meds have helped a lot with that. He also has diabetes, but that is managed with meds and diet. My older kids (17 and 15) and I have had several discussions about how to help Papa and what to expect. I feel that it is important to go now because I don't know what the future will hold for my dad.

Any suggestions for things to expect?

Thanks.

[Bete]

and I make sure she has an ID on herself with our cell phone number included and even a back-up number in case we get hurt. She really is with us always, but you just never know. This ID lists the drugs she takes and what she is allergic to, as well. Your father will function better in similar surroundings, but this will not be the case on vacation.

We put my mom on an anti-anxiety drug when we take a vacation. I use this very cautiously, but it can help her and us.

Do not overdue it with him. Alternate between rides and shows and meals; so, there are rest periods. I wheelchair my mom and my hubby is on a scooter. They cannot last the day without the help. You may want to ask him about using a scooter. You can get tired mentally and the scooter will help. Absolutely have a long talk with your children. It's easy to get selfish at Disney and you don't want your dad in an awkward situation with them wanting to go on thrill rides and doing nothing else, etc. You will have some conflicts anyway; because, your 4 year old will not be able to do rides that the two olders ones can. I would stay away from any friction; it will affect your dad's mood and it can go downhill real quick.

If your father needs a nap in the afternoon, you may want to start out early at the park, take a rest in the afternoon (the kids can swim) and go back to the park for the night.

It doesn't sound too bad with your father right now; so, you should manage pretty good.

[melisandes]

I second the go back to the hotel thing. That is the biggest mistake I see in the parks. People just go go go and do not take time for themselves. The hotels are so lovely, you need to enjoy them too. A refresher back at the hotel is bound to help everyone regardless of health concerns.

[SueM in MN]

I would suggest being very cautious about renting an ECV (scooter) for him. If his doctors feel it is still safe for him to drive a car in traffic and/or unfamiliar places, it may be OK.
But, driving one in WDW takes a certain amount of concentration and attention - especially if it is at all busy. even though it will help with physical tiredness, many people find it is more tiring from a mental point of view. You can't just walk along and enjoy yourself, you have to be continually aware of what is going on around you. People don't realize that ECVs don't stop on a dime, so you need to be prepared to stop at any time if people step out in front of you.
I have also seen people get very flustered as they try to drive into the spot designated by the CM for them to park during shows, parades and rides. Some have to manouver back and forth many times to get in the correct spot and have obviously gotten confused regarding what to do to back up as opposed to going forward or kept going when told to stop. Being able to understand and follow directions are important.
Also, if you are concerned he may wander off, an ECV would make it much harder to catch/find him.
If you are concerned about any of those things, a manual (push) wheelchair or a rollator ( a walker with wheels and a fold down seat) would be better options to help with mobility.

[SueM in MN]

Forgot to mention - if you want information about renting any kind of mobility device, follow the link in my signature to the disABILITIES FAQs thread and look in post #2.

[Bete]

with your father to see if he's suited for it or not. Many grocery stores have them. I will say it's harder at the parks to do it. Too many kids dart out in front of you, etc. and obviously you don't want to hurt anyone. This could frustrate him; it's hard to say without giving it a try. My MIL did it at 87 and she was on Aricept.

I'm assuming your father is functioning better than most; since, he's still working, younger, etc. Also, it sounds like he still drives a car. I think you need to be cautious about using a scooter for him, but I don't want you frightened by it, either.

In difficult situations (I did this for an aunt and my MIL) I would manuever the scooter for whatever reason. My aunt did not want to park the scooter or go in reverse with it. Going through some queues can be difficult (too many turns or a tight fit); so, they would walk through them in some cases. Some places like the Land (where Soarin' is located) it's better to park the scooter and walk around inside.

You don't have to use the scooter constantly to benefit from it. I think there's some joy to know he can keep up with your teenagers this way.

Now, if he can't be trusted to stay with your group that's another situation, then having a scooter would not be a good idea. Probably the best advice here would be to rent one from Disney which can be done on a day by day basis. It's higher priced then renting from another source, but usually there are minimum day requirements for you to rent from the cheaper places. You can try without one, too, but at least it's another tool available to make the vacation hopefully more enjoyable and fruitful for all.

[poegirl30]

Thanks for the suggestions. My mom is a little concerned about getting out of routine, so I am making a detailed itinerary so that he will know what we are going to be doing (he gets upset if things aren't planned). He has an appt. with the neuro, so I will make a list of questions for my mom to ask about the trip. We've already had the scooter, and he is adamantly opposed to it. We'll see how it goes. He may be more willing if he gets tired, so I'm not pushing it. I've had a few discussions with the older kids, and they are OK with a more laid back approach to Disney this time. I want it to be a fun-filled trip, but I also want my dad to have a good trip too. I'm planning to be flexible and change things as needed. My older kids are very close to my dad and are willing to do whatever he needs to do, so I am hoping that it will go well.
By the way, we have ADR's for several restaurants (Crystal Palace, Chef Mickey, Garden Grill), and I think they are all buffet style. Do they have diabetic friendly dishes, or do I need to a special request. We are on the dining plan.
Thanks so much!

[Cheshire Figment]

Originally Posted by poegirl30

By the way, we have ADR's for several restaurants (Crystal Palace, Chef Mickey, Garden Grill), and I think they are all buffet style. Do they have diabetic friendly dishes, or do I need to a special request. We are on the dining plan.
Thanks so much!

If you go to the disABILITIES FAQs, Post #3, look under "Dietary restrictions". It will explain the procedures as well as provide links to information and reports.

But the simple answer is add "food allergies" as a note to your reservations, and mention that again when you check in at the podium. A chef will come to the table and both walk the line with you, indicating what is or is not safe, and/or they will prepare dishes specially that will be safe at no added costs.

[Twende]

Here is a thread from a few years back where we discussed this. It is full of great ideas and ways to handle things.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1858297


I am still taking my mom to Disney World several times a year. She is declining but still able to make trips. Each year she requires more care and we find new things we have to handle but so far so good.

Disney is one place where she can revert to a well behaved child and really enjoy herself! It is when she goes into tantrum toddler mode that we have problems.

I am sure your older boys will be a great help!
Have a wonderful trip!