Another wedding what 'would you do'? - The DIS Discussion Forums

Ephany · 10-23-2009, 06:09 PM

We received a wedding invite from DH's cousin. The thing is it's not addressed to us as a family or even DH for that matter. It's addressed to Ryan Smith. DH's name isn't Ryan, nor are any of his siblings. In fact no one in his family is named Ryan and he spent the majority of his summers growing up on his grandparents farm with said cousin so she should be well aware of his name. We think it's funny and since this is her 4th engagement in as many years and DH and cousin haven't spoken in a decade we don't have any plans to attend the wedding. It's also out of state and we'd most likely not be able to get the time off anyway, so it's a moot point on that front.

Here's where the opinions differ. I think we should send a card, DH wants to just pretend we didn't get an invitation (technically we didn't according to him), but his mom wants us to either send a $$ present or attend. This cousin didn't attend or even acknowledge our wedding or any of DH's siblings so we both feel the invitation is more hunting for presents (cousin is an only child and is the prime example of 'snowflake'). This won't cause a big family feud no matter what happens, we live too far away to be involved in drama. I'm sure that the wrong name was just jitters and it doesn't mean anything. I'm just curious what other folks would do.

Sparx · 10-23-2009, 06:11 PM

i agree with your dh. don't know my name? no card for you.

Chelley00 · 10-23-2009, 06:15 PM

I'm snotty, so I'd probably send a card, put your DH's name on and under put "AKA Ryan Smith"

N&B'smom · 10-23-2009, 06:19 PM

Is it POSSIBLE that they just messed up the names, maybe looked at the list and by accident saw the next person's first name but put your last name?? Something like that???

disneychrista · 10-23-2009, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chelley00

I'm snotty, so I'd probably send a card, put your DH's name on and under put "AKA Ryan Smith"

I like this. A simple congrats on your wedding card, no money or gift. Maybe Walmart as one of their 48 cent cards that can be used for this.

Plannin'Shannon · 10-23-2009, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chelley00

I'm snotty, so I'd probably send a card, put your DH's name on and under put "AKA Ryan Smith"

Yep, same here!

My family's boring. I never get to experience these fabulous, off-the-wall wedding scenarios. I'm jealous!

Ephany · 10-23-2009, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by N&B'smom

Is it POSSIBLE that they just messed up the names, maybe looked at the list and by accident saw the next person's first name but put your last name?? Something like that???

I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case. No hard feelings for the bride honest, like I said we think it's funny, not a malicious act on her part or anything.

DebbieB · 10-23-2009, 06:25 PM

I think it's rude not to respond, so I would just send the RSVP with a decline. I think an empty wedding card is kind of "sending a message", I wouldn't send it. If she didn't attend or acknowledge yours and you have not had any contact, I would not feel obligated.

Handbag Lady · 10-23-2009, 06:29 PM

OOoh, I love these, thank you!

I would send a card and sign it, "Ryan Smith."

The Mystery Machine · 10-23-2009, 06:32 PM

With me it would be placed in the circular file and forgotten. I would do this even if the name was correct.

a1tinkfans · 10-23-2009, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DebbieB

I think it's rude not to respond, so I would just send the RSVP with a decline. I think an empty wedding card is kind of "sending a message", I wouldn't send it. If she didn't attend or acknowledge yours and you have not had any contact, I would not feel obligated.

teacups · 10-23-2009, 07:23 PM

I said other. I'd tell the mom who wants you to send money, to send the money for you if its that important to her.

TaraPA · 10-23-2009, 07:23 PM

My guess is that someone else addressed the invites - someone either hired to do so, or just a friend helping out. I had a friend address mine that was great at calligraphy, so she wouldn't have had a clue if Ryan Smith really should have been Robert Smith!

In any event, I agree it's rude not to reply, but I'd just RSVP that no, sorry, you won't be attending. If you're not close then no card is necessary at all.

Abbie · 10-23-2009, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Handbag Lady

OOoh, I love these, thank you!

I would send a card and sign it, "Ryan Smith."

Great idea!

We just married my DD off this summer and while reading your op, I was remembering how we oh-so-carefully checked, double-checked, and TRIPLE-checked the names and addresses on the invitations! I can't begin to imagine this was anything other than "don't really care, just send $$". I would rsvp, and send a lovely congratulations card and be done.

NewCrew42 · 10-23-2009, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Handbag Lady

OOoh, I love these, thank you!

I would send a card and sign it, "Ryan Smith."

View Poll Results: What would you do?
Pretend you didn't receive an invitation	44	48.89%
Send a card	31	34.44%
Send a $$ gift	3	3.33%
Attend to placate MIL	0	0%
Other	12	13.33%
Voters: 90. You may not vote on this poll

10-23-2009, 06:09 PM	#1
Ephany DIS Veteran Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Georgia Posts: 1,164	Another wedding what 'would you do'? We received a wedding invite from DH's cousin. The thing is it's not addressed to us as a family or even DH for that matter. It's addressed to Ryan Smith. DH's name isn't Ryan, nor are any of his siblings. In fact no one in his family is named Ryan and he spent the majority of his summers growing up on his grandparents farm with said cousin so she should be well aware of his name. We think it's funny and since this is her 4th engagement in as many years and DH and cousin haven't spoken in a decade we don't have any plans to attend the wedding. It's also out of state and we'd most likely not be able to get the time off anyway, so it's a moot point on that front. Here's where the opinions differ. I think we should send a card, DH wants to just pretend we didn't get an invitation (technically we didn't according to him), but his mom wants us to either send a $$ present or attend. This cousin didn't attend or even acknowledge our wedding or any of DH's siblings so we both feel the invitation is more hunting for presents (cousin is an only child and is the prime example of 'snowflake'). This won't cause a big family feud no matter what happens, we live too far away to be involved in drama. I'm sure that the wrong name was just jitters and it doesn't mean anything. I'm just curious what other folks would do. __________________ Off site - October 2008 Pop Century - January 2009 Off site - March 2009

10-23-2009, 06:11 PM	#2
Sparx DIS Veteran Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: tn Posts: 25,286	i agree with your dh. don't know my name? no card for you. __________________ sometimes, the dreams that come true are the ones you never even knew you had. its you and me up against this whole wide world. mighty putty can fix everything but my broken heart rip billy mays i love, i have loved, i will love. and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

10-23-2009, 06:15 PM	#3
Chelley00 DIS Veteran Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Indiana Posts: 1,793	I'm snotty, so I'd probably send a card, put your DH's name on and under put "AKA Ryan Smith" __________________ Me, DH, DS16 DS14 DD8 DS5 No Boys Allowed: The birthday girl and mom take on the world! http://www.disboards.com/showthread....8#post34445498 The birthday girl and mom take on the dining plan http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2337229 Our "Worst Vacation Ever" trip report http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2009224

10-23-2009, 06:19 PM	#4
N&B'smom Cancer Survivor I expect you to scrape an 'Acceptable' in your O.W.L., or suffer my...displeasure." Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: southern NJ & VWL Posts: 5,616	Is it POSSIBLE that they just messed up the names, maybe looked at the list and by accident saw the next person's first name but put your last name?? Something like that??? __________________ ~~ Shelby ~~ Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy. ~ Albus Dumbledore

Sponsored Links
DIS ad Register to remove Join Date: 1997 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 1,000,000+	<div align="center">This information cannot be displayed because your browser does not support inline frames.<a href="http://www.wdwinfo.com">Click Here</a> </div>

10-23-2009, 06:25 PM	#8
DebbieB DVC Member BWV 99 You have to compare apples to apples Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: PA Posts: 28,863	I think it's rude not to respond, so I would just send the RSVP with a decline. I think an empty wedding card is kind of "sending a message", I wouldn't send it. If she didn't attend or acknowledge yours and you have not had any contact, I would not feel obligated. __________________

10-23-2009, 06:29 PM	#9
Handbag Lady Disneyland Bride 2000 If you can't say somethng nice, come sit next to me Has the wherewithall to save bakery goods from earthquakes Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Southern California and Flexico Posts: 4,891	OOoh, I love these, thank you! I would send a card and sign it, "Ryan Smith." __________________ WDW: Oct/Nov. 2008 CBR / Sept. 2007 CBR / Oct. 2006 AKL / August 2005 POR (hello Katrina!) / 1998 Off Campus at the Grosvenor (ENGAGED AT EPCOT ) DL: Twice a month for years / Multiple visits since birth / 1989 CM on Main Street / 2000 Disneyland Fairy Tale Wedding <---Thanks Grumpy Pirate!

10-23-2009, 06:32 PM	#10
The Mystery Machine Grease can't be good Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: In Missouri somewhere Posts: 29,656	With me it would be placed in the circular file and forgotten. I would do this even if the name was correct. __________________

10-23-2009, 07:23 PM	#12
teacups DIS Veteran Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: I love Portland, Oregon! Posts: 3,975	I said other. I'd tell the mom who wants you to send money, to send the money for you if its that important to her.

10-23-2009, 07:23 PM	#13
TaraPA DIS Veteran Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Lehigh Valley, PA Posts: 4,953	My guess is that someone else addressed the invites - someone either hired to do so, or just a friend helping out. I had a friend address mine that was great at calligraphy, so she wouldn't have had a clue if Ryan Smith really should have been Robert Smith! In any event, I agree it's rude not to reply, but I'd just RSVP that no, sorry, you won't be attending. If you're not close then no card is necessary at all. __________________ Girls Trip 11/10 WDW Dolphin 2/10- ESPN weekend - family trip Bay Lake Tower Villas 11/09 - Girls Trip WDW Dolphin - 12/08 - Girls Trip First SOLO trip - offsite - 05/08 - F&G Festival WDW Dolphin 12/07 - mommy & Dane tirp AKL 12/06 - family trip AS Music 11/02 - mommy & Ty trip Disneyland - Anaheim Hilton 5/02 - adults only! AS Sports 9/01 - family trip WDW Swan 10/00 - family trip Coronado Springs 10/99 - family trip **offsite 1989,1987, 1970's

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread: