Unhappy Wife..

[quinns-mommy]

Ok. Where do I start? Back in August my husband and I found out that we had a miscarriage. It was the first for us together and we were really upset about it. Well, the wonderful husband that he was, FINALLY decided that I could book us a trip to Disney for 4 wondeful days! So, I waited and waited and was so overly excited to go it wasn't even funny! So, the time finally came last week and he gets sick. And the son got sick. So, Monday night I took him to an after hours clinic and he just had a bad string of the stomach virus and it was only going to last another 12 hours or so. So, after much convincing, he finally convinced me that we still needed to go on our trip and have a good time, and that he would be fine. So, we leave Tuesday on our way down..after a 7 hour drive (that I did alone), we finally arrive!! Ah.....we were finally there... or so I thought.
So of course we add a night to our package and we get cozied up in All Star Sports, which was a nice hotel by the way, and we go to sleep early to make the next day a good one. So we wake up and he's feeling a lot better and we get out the door for the Character Breakfast I planned at Hollywood and Vine and we get there and then it starts.... he starts complaining. You paid how much for this, some of this food is cold, the service is horrible, etc. So I just kinda assumed he wasn't up to par yet and the trip would get better. Nope. I don't think he smiled the whole time we were there. He moped around and acted like he would rather be else-where than at our 1st Family Vacation together. I was devastated!!
So after 4 agonizing days we finally start the trip home. Which makes him just the happiest person ever! I couldn't believe it. Needless to say he drove the whole way home, unpacked the car by himself, and started putting things away. BY HIMSELF!!!
We paid over $1500.00 for our vacation and he ruined it! The only thing he would tell me was that he just didn't like Disney. OMG!! I didn't think someone like that existed! My heart is broken and I'm so upset still. I'm over the vacation, there's nothing I can do about it now, it's over and done with. Lesson Learned. The thing that still gets me is that A: it was his idea to go ( yes I'm the one that has been asking him about going for like 3 years, but he's the one that brought it up and said do it) B: he doesn't even acknowledge that he ruined our vacation! C: he doesn't even care that he hurt my feelings...seriously!
I know this may seem crazy to some people, but Disney is my all time favorite place to go! I will NEVER take him to Disney again. Ever. When I go again, and yes I will be going again, it will be with my DS or by myself for a girls trip. Can anyone relate to me? Does anyone think I have the right to be mad or is it just me? Help me please...

[brockash]

Yep, my dh is the same way, but I'm completely fine with just going with the kiddos and leaving him behind. I tell him repeatedly when he starts whining about going to Disney ect., that I'm completely fine with him not going, but he better not ruin my/kids fun. I don't get how some ppl. can be so full of themselves. DH and I, honestly don't like a lot of the same things, but I don't whine or get grumpy when we do something he's wanting to do. Honestly, it's kinda nice to see him happy and in such a good mood. I don't get it either

[MyTwoPrincesses]

I'm so sorry. I am afraid that my DH will do this too (i.e. act all whiny and ruin the fun for me - though I don't think anything could ruin the fun for the girls). I really wanted to go to WDW but DH didn't really want to go (he's never been to WDW and claims to dislike all things Disney) and I basically booked it anyway because I wanted to take the girls while they still believe in princesses and fairies and all things Disney. I tried to plan things to his liking - researching rides he'd like, picking restaurants he'd like etc. - but if he acts like your DH did, I'll go with my dad next time and leave my DH home. My dad totally wants to come with us in November and I won't let him (I want my girls' first trip to be just me, DH and them), but I promised that he could come next time. If that next time doesn't include DH, well what can I do? I would tell your DH how you feel about his behavior and then plan to go again with people who will have a good time.

[MommytoaSweetie]

I would definitely be frustrated if that happened, but I also really think you need to talk with him about it. You know how it is when you're not feeling well, and then you get upset about something, and then something else upsets you, and it keeps rolling on and on? He may not have realized how difficult he was making it for you. I know that vacations are supposed to be wonderful, but not everyone loves Disney, but knowing that you do, he should be willing to try and enjoy it for your love of it, but maybe he just didn't know that. I'd try to give him some slack and communicate a little more about it (now, and for next time - see if he'd LIKE to try and go back again, or if he doesn't want to and you want another type of trip with others and he sees how much fun you have and how you can save so much money on different things, he may change his mind). I also think that asking my DH for opinions on what we do can make a difference if he's not convinced about something (this works for kids, too, like cooking... get them in and helping and they're more willing to try new things ... kids, husbands, you know they're very similar! ). I hope you guys are able to figure it out better so your next vacation is what you both need together!

[nu2dvc]

First off, I'm sorry about your families' miscarriage. That must have been devastating.

secondly, I do not think you are being crazy at all. I would be feeling depressed had I been through a Disney trip with a less-than-enthusiastic spouse. I am fortunate that my DH was bitten by the Disney bug on our first family trip several years back. I can really understand how upset you must be as a Disney fan to think that your hubby may never see the light.

I think it's great that you can see past the "family vacation" concept and embrace the alternatives....i.e.- girls only trips and Mommy-son trips. I think that sure beats having a skeptic along for the ride. So kudos to you for knowing you can do it without him.

I don't have much else to add - but keep your chin up....and remember "There's a great big beautiful tomorrow!"

[Karpkg]

As you are a part of the DisBoard family, I think you deserve a hug.

And this.

Next time, grab a family member (sis, bro, mom or dad) or even see if you can plan a Dis get-together, take the kids and go! Now that our trip is over I'm contenting myself by reading other trip reports and am fascinated by Disboard meets at WDW, and I think it's neat when you're around those that really love WDW.

MY DH likes WDW, I grew up and LOVE Disneyland, and he can't believe I'm still "obsessed" with WDW now that our trip is over. He thinks it's like any other vacation trip, I felt when I stepped into MK that I was "home". But this was worse for you and I really sympathize.

Hopefully, maybe your DH was just not in the right frame of mind for Disney at that time. Maybe in the near future he'll change his mind but until then if you choose to go back to WDW without him, don't feel guilty, take the kids and have a good time.

[smkiya]

OMG! That was my dh on our first family trip to Disney, last week! All I kept hearing was "this is my vacation, if I want to do nothing all day, that's what I'm going to do." "That Halloween party was stupid. I can't believe you paid XXX to go." "It's too hot.... That line's too long, just forget it... I told you we should've left the baby at home (because he didn't want to wait while dd and I got on a ride, with a fastpass. I was nice enough to let him ride the most and I didn't think it was that big of a deal at all. Leave my baby at home NOT!)... Complain, complain, and complain some more... and talk about LAZY! He didn't lift a finger for anything, I packed and unpacked, and made everything ready for me, dd, and ds, before, during, and after the trip... and cleaned up after his mess... and still, he found stuff to complain about! If I hadn't already booked our Disney cruise for next year, I'd leave him at home!

I feel your pain. You are not alone.

[pixidustmom]

I'm sorry I can relate big time.
Our second trip to the world my DH was just not pleasant to be around to say the least. We did the land and sea and most of the sea he slept. Missed out on most everything but dinner. But even at dinner he would argue with my DD's about something and they would cry and he ended up going back to the room.
Once at the world he was a little better but still had some bad times mostly he just can't deal with the girls being teens at the time. He has his own views and decided it was going to be his way or no way.
My next trip I left him home and did a 7 day cruise. He now understands if he can't play nicely he will miss out. We are taking our grandson and I hope this will be a better trip, if not he gets left behind again.

[luvsmickeymouse]

Wow, I am sorry this all happened to you. I am glad to read that you will still be going to WDW in the future, and not giving up something you love.

[TheRatPack]

I say make the Disney vacation something for you and your DS or other family/friends that enjoy it as much as you. My husband would probably still rather go to the beach, but he gets in the groove/mood once we get there which I'm so glad for. He even wears the matching shirts.....YAY!

If he didn't like Disney, or got to where he didn't like it....I would make the best of it and go with my kids. I actually think from time to time it would be nice to take a vacation with the kids, but then I chicken out since I have so many of them.....LOL

Hoping it works out for you and you can keep going to Disney and sorry about the miscarriage...we've had 2 of those in the last year .

[momimouse27]

To the OP, I think you are justified in your anger. On top of having to go through an emotionally painful situation having miscarried, he was nice enough to help you through that time by giving you a wonderful vacation to look forward to, only to ruin your good time.

Don't give up on him though. My husband liked our first trip to Disney(our honeymoon) then after the next couple of trips he said he was sick of Disney, but I asserted that I want to go back again and again! Now, 18 years into our marriage, if I don't bring it when we're going to Disney if I wait around long enough HE will bring it up!! He'd never admit how much he loves it and two years ago he brought his mom for the first time and now she loves it! But I know he can't wait to go and loves it even though he tries to play it off.

Keep the faith!

[Mouse House Mama]

OP- Did you tell your DH that he was being mean and ruining your vacation while you were in WDW? If my DH (or me for that matter) behaved like that the other one would say- "Hey, I get you don't love this but do you even care that you are making it miserable for me and the kids?" Sorry but I think that was completely selfish behavior and I would be very pissed.

[Heidijs]

OMG! First off, I'm sorry about your miscarriage

Second, what an ***!!!! Ya know, we're going the last week of January/first part of Feb and I'm so worried my DH is going to be the SAME WAY! He's not thrilled at all about this trip with our DD 4. He's like, the only reason I'm going is for her. I've never been there and don't see waht the big deal is, sounds like a zoo to me! I told him we'd go see the Kennedy Space Center one day and hit the beach next to it for one day and get away from the parks and he perked up when he found out a rocket is supposed to go up the day we go there...I'm sure it'll get rescheduled...then he found out the space shuttle was supposed to go up the day we LEAVE! I'm like, first off, they ALWAYS reschedule and delay it and it's at 6:15 a.m., so there's no way we'll make it and I was told we'd see it from Disney anyway...he's all bent about that but I was told it will most likely get scratched and rescheduled so now he's all crabby about that.

So basically before we even start packing our bags in January I'm going to have a talk with him about how if he ruins this trip or *****es and moans day after day about character dining and going non stop, that I'm going to leave his miserable *** in the hotel all by himself and enjoy it with my DD instead of listening to him piss and moan and ruin our trip! He's like, this will be the only time I probably ever go to Florida. I'm like, good, we'll go with someone else next time!!!! I'm hoping he has a change of heart and has a really good time but I don't think he's willing to admit that Disneyworld just MIGHT be fun for a 34 year old guy....but I have no problem leaving him moping in the resort!!!! I'll ship him off downtown to the ESPN bar or something with the rest of pissy husbands who aren't having a magical time! LOL!!!!

[Becky2005]

My DH is the same way.

The weird thing is I keep telling him I can just take the kids now & leave him here (now that they are older, I could handle it on my own). He doesn't want us to do that either. Go figure. He will also talk about things he wants to do the next time we go.

I'm sorry your vacation wasn't any fun. I know it's really hard when Grumpy is on the trip with you. BTDT.

[DVC Sadie]

Not all DHs enjoy WDW and I happen to be married to one of them.

He does not like all the walking, line waiting (even with fast pass) or most of the restaurants. Honestly, my dh would rather be at home, so unless we are bringing our family I go to WDW alone and am able to do the things I love.

With all that in mind he does go to WDW so we can enjoy our neices and nephews. I do try to book things that he enjoys, such as golf....etc.

You have every right to feel hurt but I would suggest that you talk to DH about your feelings and try to come to a compromise.