Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Just for Fun > Community Board
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read





Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 10-16-2009, 06:13 PM   #1
Kurby
All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney
 
Kurby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning
Posts: 10,710

Calling all parents

ok i've got a question for you.

how do you deal/punish/ground a 4 year old who refuses to clean her room?

so far nothing i've done seems to phase her.

i've taken toys away, put her on time out, taken away "park time" ok ikea park but still.

i've sat with her, stood in the door, gone down the hall and it's like she's waiting till i get very angry then yells OK and halfasses it

i'm trying to be a different mother but i need some advice
Kurby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:17 PM   #2
RunningGirl
DIS Veteran
 
RunningGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,476

We took everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - out of our DD's room. She had to slowly earn it back by keeping clean what she did have. (Think the Cosby Show when they made their house into "The Real World" for Theo.) It worked - at least until she got into high school!
RunningGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 10-16-2009, 06:18 PM   #3
OceanAnnie
I guess I have a thing against maroon food
If they are well behaved I'm okay
 
OceanAnnie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 17,003

I know it's frustrating.

Try the opposite of taking stuff away. Think of an inexpensive reward (painting nails, trip to the park, extra TV time, something fun for her to have "if" she cleans her room. Make it something she will really want. Set the standard for "clean", but don't have the bar too high. Remind her once.

If she doesn't do it, no reward. HTH.
__________________


"We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are." -- Anais Nin

"Some lived careful lives and some lived careless lives, and everything that happened could be explained by the differences between them." -- Anne Tyler

"When you are a hammer, everything is a nail." --- Unknown



OceanAnnie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:18 PM   #4
Judy from Boise
Watch out – might take away your birthday
Not superfluous in the least!
DIS World Traveller
 
Judy from Boise's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Beautiful Boise,Idaho
Posts: 9,628
DISboards Moderator

I think the "clean your room" concept is a little beyond a 4 yo. I would break it down to multiple mini tasks. I always put on music and worked beside the child at that age.
Judy from Boise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:19 PM   #5
KAMKIM
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Western New York
Posts: 1,056

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurby View Post
ok i've got a question for you.

how do you deal/punish/ground a 4 year old who refuses to clean her room?

so far nothing i've done seems to phase her.

i've taken toys away, put her on time out, taken away "park time" ok ikea park but still.

i've sat with her, stood in the door, gone down the hall and it's like she's waiting till i get very angry then yells OK and halfasses it

i'm trying to be a different mother but i need some advice
I've always done positive reinforcement with my kids when it came to cleaning up, when they do a good job I praise them.

And starting at about age 1 we've always sang a clean up song...clean up clean up everybody everywhere clean up clean up in your underwear

I swear it worked
KAMKIM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:26 PM   #6
MonkeyDishwasher
Yes!!! I got the first non-topic starter post! Do I get a medal or something?
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 844

Keep dumping everything she has onto the floor until she can't handle it anymore and absolutely has to clean it up
MonkeyDishwasher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:29 PM   #7
C.Ann
We'll remember when...
No time for green bananas
When the going gets tough, she gets the Palmolive!!
If I knew we were going to be graded here, I might try harder
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 34,887

"Beat The Clock" (set an alarm clock) - small reward if she "wins"..
__________________
C.Ann
-----------------
"Maturity begins when we're content to be right about something without finding it necessary to prove that someone else is wrong.." ~ Author Unknown
----------------------------------------

"I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
So I wrote your name in my heart,
and that’s where it will stay.."


"We won't be sad, we'll be glad
for all the life we've had
and we'll remember when...."
C.Ann is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:30 PM   #8
KAMKIM
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Western New York
Posts: 1,056

Quote:
Originally Posted by C.Ann View Post
"Beat The Clock" (set an alarm clock) - small reward if she "wins"..
yep this works for us too, I count down from say 50 and count real fast until about 20 and then I s l o w it down....they get a kick out of this.
KAMKIM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:37 PM   #9
Wishing on a star
DIS Veteran
Another proud Southerner!
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 13,803

A four year old....
Wishing on a star is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:41 PM   #10
Kurby
All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney
 
Kurby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning
Posts: 10,710

i'll clarify a bit - the "clean your room" basically is pull up your blanket in the morning, put your "friends" (minnie, mickey, baby, lulu the lam) on the bed neatly and at night it's put your dirty clothes in the laundry.

if during the day she's playing then i tell her it's like school and you have to put one thing away before you can play with something else.


i do give a reward - i pay her - 5 cents to make her bed, 5 cents to walk into school without being clingy with my mom (mom pays her), and a couple other things to that if she does them all she'll get about 25 cents a day - at the end of the week (today) we take her to the dollar store and she can buy whatever she wants. (today she got a Dora flashlight - pretty cute)

but it doesn't seem to bother her if she doesn't get paid to make her bed, if we take toys away etc.. she's scream for about 5 seconds then its' next.....
Kurby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:42 PM   #11
freckles and boo
I occasionally lurk on the UK board
I can't tell you all the stupid things I have seen my husband do while wearing sandals
Bird doo on my sheets isn't sexy
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: suburban chicago
Posts: 6,374

Quote:
Originally Posted by Judy from Boise View Post
I think the "clean your room" concept is a little beyond a 4 yo. I would break it down to multiple mini tasks. I always put on music and worked beside the child at that age.
Absolutely. I still do that with my older girls. "Clean your room!" is really vague. I give them one or two jobs at a time, usually in this order -

Make your beds (broken into even smaller steps for my younger daughter)
Straighten up your stuffed animals
Find any dirty clothes and put them in the hamper
Put away your books nicely on the shelves
Clean up A (Littlest Pet Shops or whatever)
Clean up B
Clean up C
etc.

We take small breaks and I ask them to look around to see what should happen next.

I even have to do this for myself in the kitchen if things get too out of control.
__________________
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
freckles and boo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:43 PM   #12
KAMKIM
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Western New York
Posts: 1,056

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurby View Post
i'll clarify a bit - the "clean your room" basically is pull up your blanket in the morning, put your "friends" (minnie, mickey, baby, lulu the lam) on the bed neatly and at night it's put your dirty clothes in the laundry.

if during the day she's playing then i tell her it's like school and you have to put one thing away before you can play with something else.


i do give a reward - i pay her - 5 cents to make her bed, 5 cents to walk into school without being clingy with my mom (mom pays her), and a couple other things to that if she does them all she'll get about 25 cents a day - at the end of the week (today) we take her to the dollar store and she can buy whatever she wants. (today she got a Dora flashlight - pretty cute)

but it doesn't seem to bother her if she doesn't get paid to make her bed, if we take toys away etc.. she's scream for about 5 seconds then its' next.....
yeah, I dont think making money is a great incentive for someone her age, try the singing and countdown....makes my kids move.
KAMKIM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:43 PM   #13
mrsklamc
I apologize in advance, but what is a click clack?
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Husker living in Hoosierland.
Posts: 9,500

I know two year olds that understand the basic concept of 'clean up.' (put toys away. I assume OP isn't expecting her kid to vacuum and then scour the sink in the guest bathroom.)
mrsklamc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:46 PM   #14
Kurby
All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney
 
Kurby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning
Posts: 10,710

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wishing on a star View Post
A four year old....
yup - shes 4 - gotta start sometime.



Quote:
Originally Posted by MonkeyDishwasher View Post
Keep dumping everything she has onto the floor until she can't handle it anymore and absolutely has to clean it up
i don't think i could handle that - i'm a pack rat who;s trying to get rid of stuff so leaving all her stuff around drives me crazy



Quote:
Originally Posted by C.Ann View Post
"Beat The Clock" (set an alarm clock) - small reward if she "wins"..


that's a good idea - maybe we'll try that one.
Kurby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2009, 06:49 PM   #15
java
I am embracing the Turkey Butt
We have the mentally insane lab and the incredibly flatulent Bulldog
I'm the mean wife
 
java's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 20,111

I think "clean your room" is a tough concept at four.
Turn it into a game.

Saying let's see if you can pick up all your dolls before I say the alphabet.
Then move on to blocks
then stuffed animals.

Does she know where stuff goes? Is there one big toy box or labeled bins with photos? My son did much better when he knew exactly where something belonged.
Good luck!
java is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Calling all Chicago DISers #3 slo Community Board 3453 06-17-2014 09:18 AM
November is HERE!!!!!!!!!!!! SheenaXena21 Doing the Happy Dance! 218 11-26-2009 08:28 PM
Called Disney to Complain mel373 Disney Rumors and News 44 10-23-2009 01:17 PM
Calling All Phillies Phans... choirchic Community Board 24 10-20-2009 10:44 AM
What are the parents thinking? MM27 Community Board 80 10-18-2009 07:59 PM

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:12 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.