Major problems with colleague's behaviour towards me

[Tiger926]

I am Special Education teacher at a small highschool - small program, with a small staff. I have taught with this colleague for almost 9 years now - up until the past 8 months or so, everything was great, and then all of a sudden, he has become hostile, ignorant and angry towards me - both in front of staff and students. There is absolutely no reason for it as I am a very easy person to get along with - staff and students trust me and confide in me as I'm a senior teacher who helps everyone whenever possible.

Today a student snuck out of his class and came to mine. He snuck behind me as I was setting up the TV/DVD for 2 students who were doing a movie study. I am very busy as I teach many different credits at one time due to learning/behaviour accommodations, so I told the student that he didn't belong and had to leave. Usually my door is closed, but sometimes it's open for various reasons. He just smiled and attempted to stay put to watch the movie. Again, I reminded him that he had to go - at that moment, said colleague walked right into my room and scolded me in front of all of our students! He didn't scold HIS student who disrupted my classroom, mind you.

He has done this before, and so I attempted to address it at lunch in the staff room a few minutes later, once students were dismissed. There was only one other staff member there, but he was busily working on computer - I was glad he was there as a witness though. Said colleague started yelling at me about how it was MY responsibility to return the student to his class, or, forcibly return bring him to the office. WTH? I then reminded him that it was not my job to bring his students to the office - the students know that they are not supposed to be visiting classrooms, so if they make a choice to do so while on a washroom break from other classes, then they deal with consequences. He yelled at me and said he didn't want to hear my stories and stormed off! Ok, then...

Here are my concerns:

1. He is very rude and disrespectful with how he talks to me

2. He scolds me in front of students and staff

3. He is insinuating that I am stealing his students and not doing enough to return them to class (believe me, I am one of, if not the busiest teacher there, so I don't need his students!)

4. He never gives the benefit of the doubt, nor trusts in my professionalism to do my job

5. He is trying to determine what my style of classroom management is

6. He is disrespecting the positive relationships that I have with our students. They sometimes get embarassed for "getting me in trouble." He actually scolds me instead of them - ummm...I didn't sneak out of your class (he is not a good teacher at all as he doesn't pay attention to kids, ignores them, etc.)

Talked with my colleague whom I am very close with - he is also our union rep (I used to be), and he is distressed because this keeps happening and feels it will continue. He is upset that this colleague is disrespecting me and my role as teacher in this manner, and wants me to go to VP or Principal. I am nervous to do so as I am very non-confrontational. I am very busy, and so I have my hands full with a million jobs around the school (this is something else he is angry about - it's none of his business though), so this kind of thing is one more problem that takes me away from my students.

What would you do? I would love to hear any and all opinions as it's quite frustrating me. I am the most passionate, involved and hardworking teacher, so this behaviour really upsets me as it's disrespectful, immature and unacceptable, but I'm not sure if going to admin will make it worse...?

Thanks, Tiger

[minniecarousel]

I think it's time to get Administration involved. I work at a HS (although I'm not a teacher), & respect for one another is so important. All staff has to show a united front in the presence of students. It's a "given" that there are things you don't discuss with students present. If he has a problem with you, he needs to discuss it without students around. He sounds like he has a screw loose. Get help with this.

[Tiger926]

Originally Posted by minniecarousel

I think it's time to get Administration involved. I work at a HS (although I'm not a teacher), & respect for one another is so important. All staff has to show a united front in the presence of students. It's a "given" that there are things you don't discuss with students present. If he has a problem with you, he needs to discuss it without students around. He sounds like he has a screw loose. Get help with this.

Thanks - this is what my other colleague and I discussed. There are things you just don't show the kids, especially our at-risk kids. I slept on it and prayed about it, yet I'm still not sure what to do...?

Thanks for your input, Tiger

[englishteacha]

Whoa...that happened in our building yesterday. Luckily it was a workshop day. Definitely talk to your administrator. It's not acceptable at any time to talk to a colleague the way, especially in front of kids. I was not on the end of the abuse, but a teammate was.

Here's a hug for you from someone who can relate.

[becjlek]

I just had to deal with a similar situation but I am lucky that no children were involved since I don't teach. However I had a co-worker that was verbally abusive, flipped me off whenever possible etc. I even had pictures and a video to prove what she was doing to be in the parking lot thanks to my 2 teenage sons that loved the undercover assignment.
Anyway, she had been better the last few months until Thursday when it all started up again. I just ignored it like usual but this time more people heard and someone else told her to knock it off. She threw a tantrum at the very end of the day. On Friday she was called into the HR office at noon, and never came back. I am guessing she was just sent home for the rest of the day. We will see how Monday goes. My only advise is to document everything with dates, witnesses etc. I could let it ride longer than you since I was not at a school with children.
Good luck.

[Carly_Roach]

I agree that higher powers need to be invoked: the Administrators. If this guy can't control himself, how can he possibly be expected to control his students?

If this has been going on for 8 months, then the time to try to figure out why he's behaving this way (the sit-down, heart-to-heart talk) has long passed. Keep it professional, impersonal and speak to the authority figures in the room from that point of view rather than personality issues. His behavior toward you and, more importantly the students witnessing his behavior, is unprofessional and non-exemplary.

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, time to take formal measures....

Remember, you have to keep it professional and non-confrontational/emotional. Simply document how you can not have another staff member coming into your classroom, undermining your authority, showing disrespect, making these kinds of comments in front of students...etc.... ( all of which are completely inappropriate )

It is not for you (or anyone else really) to try to 'understand' why he is acting this way, throw around other misc. personal allegations judgements, etc....

But, yes, I definitely think it is time to take more formal measures to insure that this does not continue to happen to you in your workplace.

[daisax]

I'm not sure what your hesitation is. Are you afraid he will physically retaliate or something?

[MM27]

Go to your principal. Things will only get worse and he will think that he can continue talking to you in that way. Hopefully, the principal can figure out what the real problem is with him and everything can get back to normal. Good luck to you. I've seen some teachers in my school that act worse than the kids sometimes. It's a shame.

[JessicaR]

9 years and nothing and suddenly everything changes? You have no idea what it could be? I was thinking you should ask him what the sudden problem is but thats a bad idea. He seems volatile. You need to go to your principal and get this worked out.

Sorry you are dealing with this and I hope it gets resolved.

[Liberty Belle]

I'm not a teacher, but a special ed para.

I think you absolutely need to go to your principal. His behavior is bordering on bizarre. Is it just you he does this to, or other staff as well? I would write down everything abnormal/inappropriate that he has done that you can think of and ask to meet with your principal to discuss it. It doesn't sound like he could get much worse in any retaliation, unless he makes it physical.

[tomthebarncat]

your colleague is knowingly creating a hostile and abusive work environment. That is a direct violation of Dept. of Labor laws. You need to act now and quick before he really loses it in front of others. As for his problems, who cares, if he doesn't shape up he can add unemployment to his list of problems. Nip this in the bud now!

[Wishing on a star]

Yes... document, document, document....

[OceanAnnie]

I agree, go to administration. That's a very stressful position to be in, having your co-worker blow up at you. Inappropriate and uncalled for. I hope he gets an attitude adjustment.

[Pea-n-Me]

Often when something like this happens, there's something going on in someone's personal life.

And chances are if it's happening to you, it's happening to others as well. (Some of us tend to personalize things and think it's only us, when in fact, it's far widespread than we realize.)

It's an administrator's job to hear concerns and talk to the man. Hopefully others let the administrator know there are issues, if in fact there are.

You don't need to defend what a good person or teacher you are. His behavior is unprofessional, regardless.