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Old 09-27-2009, 11:48 PM   #1
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Is there anyone that DOESN'T want their family to come/meet them at WDW ?

I hope this doesn't come across wrong, but reality is, as much as we love our son, and would love his grandparents to come (or meet us) at WDW, I just do not have a great relationship with my mother (my step father is nice enough). I know that my wife would "grin and bear", the situation, but she knows I get very stressed and nervous around my mother. Also, we never asked our son if he would like if his Grandmother to come, but reality is, I don't want to open up pandoras box.We are a small family, but my wife and son ahve the BEST MEMORIES EVER! from our trips. this will be our fourth in the last 9 years.

Am I wrong for not wanting to be nervous and stressed, or should I be asking my mother to come for part of our trip anyway?

Not sure if anyone has dealt with this type of situation, but input would be appreciated.I really envy all the people who are lucky enough to have family members that they want them to be there with.

Signed, feeling guilty.

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Old 09-27-2009, 11:57 PM   #2
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Hell I wouldn't feel guilty for not wanting someone who stresses you out to go on a vacation with you. Disney is too expensive to not be able to enjoy it. For that reason alone, I told my husband to stay home while I take the girls to Disney because on vacation he stresses out way too much and makes for a miserable vacation. So you not wanting your mom to tag along is nothing compared to me telling my husband to stay home.

Don't feel guilty and enjoy your family vacation!
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Old 09-28-2009, 12:16 AM   #3
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I've gone with my parents when my girls were younger and they've taken my older daughters on their own when the girls were younger. It 's great memories for grandparents and grandkids to go together without the parents. I don't think you are being unreasonable. Like the PP said its expensive and no one should ruin your trip. I just went 3 weeks ago with DD16, DD23, DD25, DSIL27, DGS3 and DGD5 months. I kept the grandkids alot while we were there. 2nd day there I saw rain coming so I took DGD5 months back to the room, that night we had dinner at Poly and I told DD25 and DSIL27 to go to Epcot that I would take the kids back and put them to bed. Next morning when we woke up it was raining so I stayed behind with DGD5 months. On the 4th day it was check out day and we drove up to disney in 2 cars so I told DD25 to stay for the day and I will take DGD5 months with me, I was stopping by my parents on the way home and they haven't seen Jenny in 2 months. Past few days I realized I barely did anything at Disney. But I won't complain I've been to Disney at least 10 times in the past 3 yrs but I do miss that I didn't get to take full advantage of my snack credits. On a 4 night stay we had 12 snack credits left (DD16 used them to buy lollipops for her friends) But I missed my Dole Whip Float. Oh well I am going back in December for a weekend and since my parents live an hour away going for the day is no biggie when I am there for the weekend.
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Old 09-28-2009, 12:23 AM   #4
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Has your mother already been invited, purposefully or inadvertently? If you haven't invited her, yet just don't do so. If she tries to invite herself, then you might have to put your foot down and say, "This is just our family vacation."

Also Disney is expensive. You might be able to put her off with the price tag. Give her a little sticker shock, with the knowledge that she will be paying all her expenses herself and she might just decline to come.

If you do end up having to have her come along, try to make if for just part of your vacation. Stress that you want some family time for just you, your wife and son.
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Old 09-28-2009, 12:25 AM   #5
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Oh geez, don't feel guilty! It's *your* vacation! Invite (or don't invite!) who you want. That doesn't sound like a pleasant situation for anyone. We're a small family too, and we have a certain dynamic that works for us, and sometimes throwing someone else into the mix, well, that doesn't work so well. Don't stress, just tell your mother and stepfather that you're going to WDW, and wish you well. No need to stress yourself and your wife.
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Old 09-28-2009, 12:31 AM   #6
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I think there are lots of other ways for your mom to spend time with her grandkids than going to disney. Find them.

There is no reason to be unhappy on vacation. Don't feel obligated. It will poison YOUR family time, which is the most important thing.
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Old 09-28-2009, 12:50 AM   #7
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My dh's parents have mentioned ALL of us (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) everyone in their family going to WDW together. We (especially dh) are not at all interested. We all live in the same town and my dh, BIL and SIL all work for their father at a family business. My dh says a vacation is mostly a vacation from all of them, eventhough everyone gets along really well.

Although, if the point is pressed, we will probably just ask that our dates overlap theirs by a couple of days so that we do spend time together at WDW, but not the whole vacation. We love that WDW memories are "our" memories.
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Old 09-28-2009, 01:54 AM   #8
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stress on vacation is no bueno...i would just good ahead with my plans "sans" grandparents
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:49 AM   #9
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have gone through the same thing. My parents live an hour and a half from Disney. They want to go with us every time. There are a few problems. My mother can stress me out sometimes but can really battle with my wife on any number of issues. If my parents met us at Disney, even for a day or two, my wife's parents would also insist on meeting us there for a couple of days on the same trip. There would be no time for just us and the kids.

I work a lot of hours and my kids, like many, are into so many activities - especially on the weekends when I'm off. Disney is a time that we can focus on the kids. It has been declared a no grandparent zone for the foreseeable future. We just tack on a couple of nights visiting my parents when we're done at Disney.
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:28 AM   #10
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Go do your own thing for your trips. If an opportunity for an extra trip with them should come up then maybe be open to that.

One sure way I keep relatives away is I travel in August (older persons can't take the heat) and stay deluxe (way too much for most family). Add hoppers (more expense and tiring for them).

My best trick of all: When I talk to my parents and in-laws after a trip I always say, " It was so hot, like vacationing in a frying pan. I was burning. The crowds were unreal. Air travel sucks. You know I put up with this for the kids." Works like a charm!
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:39 AM   #11
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Don't deel guilty. The only people i would go with on both sides are: my sis, bil, my baby niece, and my mom's boyfriend. My mom's bf wants to go so bad and he really gets excited about simple things, loves to take pics, mom does not see why we like Disney (she thinks were crazy, should just have bf come with us once he would love it.) I would probably get into fight with my mom. I may be able to handle dh's sister's family , their kids are around my kids ages, they would have fun together. I love all my nieces and nephews, I would like spending a quiet vacation(wouldn't be if they were there) with my family (the 4 of us.)
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:45 AM   #12
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We have a lot of relatives that come visit us when we go to WDW. There are usually 2 or 3 days when we have visitors. It cuts into our touring but they are family and they won't be around forever. They usually meet us for lunch or dinner and they always have to drive a couple hours to get there. We love seeing them and are greatful they want to go out of their way to see us

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Old 09-28-2009, 08:50 AM   #13
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I feel your pain! When the kids and I went in December 2006 (DH was in Afghanistan -- the trip was pre-planned before his deployment), my mom asked that the next time we go, that they go, too (they would pay their own way). I was non-committal.

We're going in December and it was a bit awkward to tell her at the same time that it was a "just our family" vacation and that we wouldn't be going to their house for Christmas. We had promised DH that we would go when he got back, but the trip got delayed.

DM and DMIL both keep expecting an invite (by hints), which may or may not ever come. I just know how controlling they are (DM more than DMIL), and just don't think it would work out. I don't feel guilty -- it's a lot of money and I don't intend to be miserable on my vacation.

Hang in there!
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:51 AM   #14
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Do not feel guilty about not wanting to invite them. This is YOUR vacation. YOU paid for it.

I have found when I travel with additional (well, certain) family members, it really cuts down on the fun because everyone is trying to make a decision that everyone is happy with, someone is always late or wanting to change the plans, someone is always complaining, etc.....just makes it alot easier to keep the group smaller and happy.
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:58 AM   #15
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Smaller is better

I think it is very difficult to handle any large party in any situation as there is little chance of making everyone happy. People are different.

In your real life you probably have to deal with a whole lot of people and situations and vacations are for doing things differently and if your thing is to get to spend some quality time with your immediate family that is what you should do.

I love people but I purposely do not plan a whole lot of meets when I am at DW. I never know what might come up and planning too many meets puts you in the position of planning YOUR vacation around everyone else. I would not want them to do the same for me either.

Is there just one thing or two that your mom does that stresses you out? Is there any chance of being able to to sit down and talk and maybe make some peace? You might find that she feels the stress as well. You only get one mom and someday she will be gone and how sad if you might both miss a chance to forge a new relationship. (I am a mom myself and had one too)

I wish you well and hope that your vacation is stress free and filled with fun and magic.

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