Technically not a birthday...BUT... - The DIS Discussion Forums

junebugTN · 09-23-2009, 04:44 PM

I would love some advice from my fellow DISers on the best way to handles this, please. Sorry this is kinda long, but I have to include the backstory for this request to make sense….

In recent years, my family’s been through a few rough patches and lost several family members to cancer. Last year, my mom was diagnosed with uterine cancer, and I spent several long weeks away from my family to care for her. It was very hard on hubby and DD, but VERY worth it, of course. So, after things calmed down for all of us, we felt like we needed some family bonding time.

My clever daughter was ALL OVER that idea. She was turning 10 this year, and she asked if we could do a family Disney trip instead of a birthday party. Since it was her first double-digit birthday, and since I love an excuse to visit the mouse, her dad and I agreed.

Her birthday was on a Thursday, and we would fly out two days later for her fabulous birthday celebration. We were so excited. We got awesome ADRs, did the countdown chain, the Mickey Head calendar, Disney themed dinner/movie nights, we did it ALL! Fast forward to one week before her big day, when I began experiencing some stomach pain. At the doctor’s, a large mass was found, and I was told it was “suspicious.” Thanks to my family history, you can imagine how frightened hubby and I were. But the worst part was telling my daughter, that instead of a Disney trip for her birthday, mommy would be spending it in the hospital instead. She was heartbroken and asked if we could go the following week. I explained that I wouldn’t be able to walk around Disney that soon after surgery. It tore my heart out to hear her say, “But I would carry you, Mommy.”

So, instead of our planned trip to Disney, where the characters could fuss over the birthday girl, she spent this time fussing over me, fluffing my pillows, bringing me water, and tucking me in. After the first tears, she never complained again. She just put on a brave face and took care of me throughout my recovery.

FINALLY, after all that blabbing, I’ll get to the point!

We scheduled a make-up trip for October. Whenever I make ADRs, the cast member always what we’re celebrating, and I go through the whole, “well nothing really, because it was a birthday trip, cancer, hysterectomy, blah blah….” And they say, she can still celebrate her birthday on this trip. But that kinda feels dishonest to me. I mean, yes, as a family, we’re calling it her make-up birthday trip, but it wouldn’t seem right to have anyone sing happy birthday or fuss over her when it really isn’t her birthday. But then again, it really takes too long to explain why we’re celebrating her birthday 5 months late. But sheesh, after what she’s been through, the kid deserves to have someone make a fuss over her, too!

Any suggestions on the best way to handle it at Disney? I’ve been referring to the trip as her “belated birthday, you are my hero” trip. I really want it to be special, but definitely wouldn’t want to be dishonest about it being her birthday, either. Any ideas on how can I make it a great, UN-birthday celebration?

Thanks!
June

cogero · 09-23-2009, 04:48 PM

oh Gosh what a wonderful person your daughter is turning into. Your story bought tears to my eyes.

I can understand where you feel dishonest but with the circumstances you were dealt it is indeed her birthday trip. Maybe someone else will have a clever way to celebrate

Leajess99 · 09-23-2009, 04:56 PM

I would go ahead and celebrate. She did not get a birthday party and this was her party. There is no dishonesty in it. If they ask just say it is being done now because of medical events that led to it being postponed. They totally understand.

I am so sorry your family had to go through all they have had to this year.

ETA: We will be there at the same time you are. Hope you have fun and let your daughter celebrate.

Darcy03231 · 09-23-2009, 04:59 PM

I don't think its being dishonest and I would definitely celebrate her birthday while you're there!

to you for all you've been through.

pixiewings71 · 09-23-2009, 05:08 PM

Your DD10 sounds like my DD9. What a wonderful girl you have there.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating her bday while there! Not 1 thing. I would do it and who cares why it's late, she's a special girl who deserves her special trip.

adctd2WDW · 09-23-2009, 05:08 PM

This is her birthday celebration. End of story. Go to Disney celebrate and leave your worries at home. I completely agree that there is nothing dishonest here. I doubt anyone will ask, but if anyone does I would then go with a short explanation as stated above. "Due to medical reasons..." I would be amazed and shocked if anyone at Disney had anything negative to say. This is a celebration for your daughter and your whole family.

Chip's My Hero · 09-23-2009, 05:21 PM

No dishonesty at all. My birthday is in July, but my hubby and kids gave me an early b-day gift in May. They took me to Cinderella's Castle for breakfast. Yep i wore the button and accepted the happy birthdays with grace.

People every day celebrate birthdays and not everyone can do it ON their birthday. It happens. No big deal.

And be very proud of your daughter. Sounds like an amazing girl!!

junebugTN · 09-23-2009, 05:29 PM

Thank you SO much for your replies. It's so nice to hear that others think my daughter is as special as I do.

You all really set my mind at ease. We'll go and celebrate our hearts out! I really appreciate your kind responses...and the terrific advice!

June

pixidustmom · 09-23-2009, 08:05 PM

Yes it's a very special trip for her. What if you called it "a very unbirthday" like Alice in wonderland? Either way she deserves to celebrate with you all.

Heck when I go in Dec. it's not really my anniversary but we didn't celebrate it in July as to save the money for our trip. And even though today is our 21st year since we met, we will save all we have for our trip and we will make up for it then. I don't' feel guilty at all about that.

ChristusG · 09-23-2009, 08:11 PM

I do not think it is dishonest.....you are truly doing a belated birthday celebration. The circumstances were beyond your control. Go on and celebrate! And dont even make an excuse for it....let her wear the birthday button, sing happy birthday at a restaurant, go all out!

gr8leg8 · 09-23-2009, 09:42 PM

It sounds like you are completely at ease with this belated celebration.

Disney asks the question:
"What are you celebrating?"

the completely honest answer is:
"We are celebrating a birthday!!"

Happy 10th to your wonderful DD

junebugTN · 09-25-2009, 04:32 PM

Okay, this definitely makes me feel TONS better about this. I had been pretty tentative about it, and I was afraid I'd feel a little funny about celebrating her birthday so late. But you all have made me realize that it wouldn't be fair to her to hold back. We have a lot to celebrate, and I'm going to enjoy every bit of it!

June

bumbershoot · 09-26-2009, 02:15 AM

Most definitely; all they care about is celebration!

NOw if you doctored her birth certificate to try to get in on the *official* birthday deal, then that's not OK. But to simply celebrate a birthday, get a button, perhaps have HB sung to her...especially since she didn't get to celebrate on her birthday...seriously totally completely OK.

happymommy · 09-26-2009, 05:49 AM

ABSOLUTELY go CELEBRATE!!!

Just because it isn't the exact day of her birthday, that doesn't matter one bit. Many folks are celebrating something that happened that year, and no one would think anything of it. You all really deserve this, and your daughter especially should be treated to this special trip.

I hope you all have a wonderful time.

PS: On our Disney cruise in 2008, my daughter turned 9. Also, our friend's daughter who was 7, celebrated her "half birthday" the first night (6 months). All we did was sing, they brought out a little "birthday cake" for her, and it was cute. Made her feel special, which was all we wanted. No one cared, we even told the server. Now, my daughter they made a special allergy-free cake for (so my son could eat it), and we all gave her gifts, but it really was her birthday.

In your case, I would still maybe have a few little gifts for your daughter. She really sounds like this will make her year - but you know her best. For my DD it would be a gift card so she could pick out stuffed animals - lots of girls like BBB but mine would hate it.

Have a great great time!!!

aetrom · 09-26-2009, 06:04 AM

celebrate! nothing wrong about it. not dishonest. that is what your hearts are celebrating, isn't it?? *plus a lot more!*

09-23-2009, 04:44 PM	#1
junebugTN Mouseketeer Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Middle Tennessee Posts: 95	Technically not a birthday...BUT... I would love some advice from my fellow DISers on the best way to handles this, please. Sorry this is kinda long, but I have to include the backstory for this request to make sense…. In recent years, my family’s been through a few rough patches and lost several family members to cancer. Last year, my mom was diagnosed with uterine cancer, and I spent several long weeks away from my family to care for her. It was very hard on hubby and DD, but VERY worth it, of course. So, after things calmed down for all of us, we felt like we needed some family bonding time. My clever daughter was ALL OVER that idea. She was turning 10 this year, and she asked if we could do a family Disney trip instead of a birthday party. Since it was her first double-digit birthday, and since I love an excuse to visit the mouse, her dad and I agreed. Her birthday was on a Thursday, and we would fly out two days later for her fabulous birthday celebration. We were so excited. We got awesome ADRs, did the countdown chain, the Mickey Head calendar, Disney themed dinner/movie nights, we did it ALL! Fast forward to one week before her big day, when I began experiencing some stomach pain. At the doctor’s, a large mass was found, and I was told it was “suspicious.” Thanks to my family history, you can imagine how frightened hubby and I were. But the worst part was telling my daughter, that instead of a Disney trip for her birthday, mommy would be spending it in the hospital instead. She was heartbroken and asked if we could go the following week. I explained that I wouldn’t be able to walk around Disney that soon after surgery. It tore my heart out to hear her say, “But I would carry you, Mommy.” So, instead of our planned trip to Disney, where the characters could fuss over the birthday girl, she spent this time fussing over me, fluffing my pillows, bringing me water, and tucking me in. After the first tears, she never complained again. She just put on a brave face and took care of me throughout my recovery. FINALLY, after all that blabbing, I’ll get to the point! We scheduled a make-up trip for October. Whenever I make ADRs, the cast member always what we’re celebrating, and I go through the whole, “well nothing really, because it was a birthday trip, cancer, hysterectomy, blah blah….” And they say, she can still celebrate her birthday on this trip. But that kinda feels dishonest to me. I mean, yes, as a family, we’re calling it her make-up birthday trip, but it wouldn’t seem right to have anyone sing happy birthday or fuss over her when it really isn’t her birthday. But then again, it really takes too long to explain why we’re celebrating her birthday 5 months late. But sheesh, after what she’s been through, the kid deserves to have someone make a fuss over her, too! Any suggestions on the best way to handle it at Disney? I’ve been referring to the trip as her “belated birthday, you are my hero” trip. I really want it to be special, but definitely wouldn’t want to be dishonest about it being her birthday, either. Any ideas on how can I make it a great, UN-birthday celebration? Thanks! June __________________

09-23-2009, 04:48 PM	#2
cogero DIS Veteran Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Queens NY Posts: 562	oh Gosh what a wonderful person your daughter is turning into. Your story bought tears to my eyes. I can understand where you feel dishonest but with the circumstances you were dealt it is indeed her birthday trip. Maybe someone else will have a clever way to celebrate __________________ Chiara Proud DVC Member since 7/29/08 Cast Me (38), DH (40) , DD (8), DS (2)

09-23-2009, 05:08 PM	#5
pixiewings71 Sweet!!! Totally!!!!! YAY for good weather! It's that Disney Magic, I don't know how it works but it does! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Suisun City CA Posts: 11,093	Your DD10 sounds like my DD9. What a wonderful girl you have there. I see absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating her bday while there! Not 1 thing. I would do it and who cares why it's late, she's a special girl who deserves her special trip. __________________ Kerri DBF DD13 DD9 APs expired 1-3-2010, the girls are still good until 2-6-2010 but we have no plans for a visit before they expire. No plans for our next visit, it will be 2011 or 2012 before we head back. We've had fun DLR/DCA, we will miss you while we are gone. We took 14 trips from July 07-July 08 and around 16 from Jan 09-Jan 10.

09-23-2009, 05:08 PM	#6
adctd2WDW Mouseketeer Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 495	This is her birthday celebration. End of story. Go to Disney celebrate and leave your worries at home. I completely agree that there is nothing dishonest here. I doubt anyone will ask, but if anyone does I would then go with a short explanation as stated above. "Due to medical reasons..." I would be amazed and shocked if anyone at Disney had anything negative to say. This is a celebration for your daughter and your whole family. __________________ DD15 DD13 DS8And they think DMommy is 1983: Offsite (too young to really remember)1986: The Disney Inn1996: The Swan (First trip as an adult- this is when I fell in love!)1997: The Grand Floridian and Beach Club (joined the Disney Vacation Club)1998: BWV1999: BWV1999: BWV (first trip alone)2000: OKW (first trip with a newborn and longest trip- 11 days)2001: BWV2008: POFQ (first trip after a very tough divorce)2009: POR (Getting back to once a year, finally!)Nov. 2009: Single birthday trip at the WL!! Awaiting my return...

09-23-2009, 05:21 PM	#7
Chip's My Hero Mouseketeer Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 131	No dishonesty at all. My birthday is in July, but my hubby and kids gave me an early b-day gift in May. They took me to Cinderella's Castle for breakfast. Yep i wore the button and accepted the happy birthdays with grace. People every day celebrate birthdays and not everyone can do it ON their birthday. It happens. No big deal. And be very proud of your daughter. Sounds like an amazing girl!! __________________ Jennifer Member of MMC and D23 1995 Honeymoon Offsite 2006/2007/2008/2009 Pop Century March 2010 Pop Century Mom and Dad only!!

Sponsored Links
DIS ad Register to remove Join Date: 1997 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 1,000,000+	<div align="center">This information cannot be displayed because your browser does not support inline frames.<a href="http://www.wdwinfo.com">Click Here</a> </div>

09-23-2009, 04:56 PM	#3
Leajess99 DIS Veteran Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,068	I would go ahead and celebrate. She did not get a birthday party and this was her party. There is no dishonesty in it. If they ask just say it is being done now because of medical events that led to it being postponed. They totally understand. I am so sorry your family had to go through all they have had to this year. ETA: We will be there at the same time you are. Hope you have fun and let your daughter celebrate.

09-23-2009, 04:59 PM	#4
Darcy03231 DIS Veteran Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 5,821	I don't think its being dishonest and I would definitely celebrate her birthday while you're there! to you for all you've been through.

09-23-2009, 05:29 PM	#8
junebugTN Mouseketeer Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Middle Tennessee Posts: 95	Thank you! Thank you SO much for your replies. It's so nice to hear that others think my daughter is as special as I do. You all really set my mind at ease. We'll go and celebrate our hearts out! I really appreciate your kind responses...and the terrific advice! June __________________

09-23-2009, 08:05 PM	#9
pixidustmom Dreaming of the World Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: las vegas Posts: 332	Yes it's a very special trip for her. What if you called it "a very unbirthday" like Alice in wonderland? Either way she deserves to celebrate with you all. Heck when I go in Dec. it's not really my anniversary but we didn't celebrate it in July as to save the money for our trip. And even though today is our 21st year since we met, we will save all we have for our trip and we will make up for it then. I don't' feel guilty at all about that. __________________

09-23-2009, 08:11 PM	#10
ChristusG DIS Veteran Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 656	I do not think it is dishonest.....you are truly doing a belated birthday celebration. The circumstances were beyond your control. Go on and celebrate! And dont even make an excuse for it....let her wear the birthday button, sing happy birthday at a restaurant, go all out! __________________

09-23-2009, 09:42 PM	#11
gr8leg8 the big 3 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: 380 miles north of Disneyland Posts: 279	It sounds like you are completely at ease with this belated celebration. Disney asks the question: "What are you celebrating?" the completely honest answer is: "We are celebrating a birthday!!" Happy 10th to your wonderful DD __________________ Hope to return in Dec 2011

09-25-2009, 04:32 PM	#12
junebugTN Mouseketeer Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Middle Tennessee Posts: 95	Okay, this definitely makes me feel TONS better about this. I had been pretty tentative about it, and I was afraid I'd feel a little funny about celebrating her birthday so late. But you all have made me realize that it wouldn't be fair to her to hold back. We have a lot to celebrate, and I'm going to enjoy every bit of it! June __________________

09-26-2009, 02:15 AM	#13
bumbershoot DIS Veteran Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Tacoma WA Posts: 19,272	Most definitely; all they care about is celebration! NOw if you doctored her birth certificate to try to get in on the official birthday deal, then that's not OK. But to simply celebrate a birthday, get a button, perhaps have HB sung to her...especially since she didn't get to celebrate on her birthday...seriously totally completely OK. __________________ -molly 13 DLR trip reports of various kinds found through this link *prepretrip report for WDW*

09-26-2009, 05:49 AM	#14
happymommy DIS Veteran Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,092	ABSOLUTELY go CELEBRATE!!! Just because it isn't the exact day of her birthday, that doesn't matter one bit. Many folks are celebrating something that happened that year, and no one would think anything of it. You all really deserve this, and your daughter especially should be treated to this special trip. I hope you all have a wonderful time. PS: On our Disney cruise in 2008, my daughter turned 9. Also, our friend's daughter who was 7, celebrated her "half birthday" the first night (6 months). All we did was sing, they brought out a little "birthday cake" for her, and it was cute. Made her feel special, which was all we wanted. No one cared, we even told the server. Now, my daughter they made a special allergy-free cake for (so my son could eat it), and we all gave her gifts, but it really was her birthday. In your case, I would still maybe have a few little gifts for your daughter. She really sounds like this will make her year - but you know her best. For my DD it would be a gift card so she could pick out stuffed animals - lots of girls like BBB but mine would hate it. Have a great great time!!! __________________ me dh dd10 ds13 Previous WDW vacations include: CR as a child with parents 1992 offsite twice 1993 Honeymoon offsite then moved to GF 1995 BC 1996 SOG 2000 GF 2001 BWV 2003 (spring break) CR 2003 (summer) AKL 2003 (Christmas break including NYE) AKL concierge 2005 summer BWV 2006 April Swan 2006 August Dolphin 2007 March AKL 2007 August Dolphin 2008 March 7 Night Western on the Magic 2008 August (The Dark Side) PBH 2008 Dec BWI 2009 March Swan

09-26-2009, 06:04 AM	#15
aetrom Earning My Ears Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 25	celebrate! nothing wrong about it. not dishonest. that is what your hearts are celebrating, isn't it?? plus a lot more!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread:

Similar Threads
thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Technical Question on CM's MM	jebbs278	Scrapbooking	1	09-20-2009 05:45 PM
Arrggghh! Technical difficulties...	ob1quixote	Camping at Disney World	2	09-15-2009 12:16 PM
Technical Question about Disney Photopass	rs505	Theme Parks Attractions and Strategies	10	09-14-2009 07:22 AM
Glee- anyone else having technical issues?	wdwiala	Community Board	11	09-05-2009 02:56 PM
Technical Stop on US Airways at Philadelphia?	BPTP	UK Trip Planning Forum	6	08-21-2009 01:02 PM